GIOYC / VENT THREAD

Laughing at all the fatties on my social media getting pissed about the unicorn drink = three candy bars thing going around. A treat every once in a while, sure, but these are people who are definitely overweight if not obese getting SO OFFEND that people dare to point out how much sugar is in those things, and it's fucking hilarious. Make better choices for myself? Stop body shaming me!

If you read these, pls talk to me now and say it's still great if I move to NC. I am finishing out the next couple of pay periods, buying that guitar tomorrow, selling the stuff I can't take and taking a 20hr bus ride out there to be with you because I love you and won't let this promise be like the last few. I'm getting a restaurant job there and living there so I can finally be with you again. I know you probably think I was making promises I can't keep, but I'm doing this. I'll be out there in less than a month.

>>18243105
I'm only capable of being happy because I choose not to think about how old I am and how much I could have been if I took my life serious earlier

shes pregnant with her ex's kid, didn't want to tell me, she wants me to move with her. shes keeping the kid, i honestly really care about this girl, but i really feel like im being used because im a nice guy. i almost want to tell her to fuck herself, but something inside me wants to do the right thing.

Found out that my abusive ex who I went no contact on has been telling people that I'm crazy and that he was in a relationship with me only because he had nobody else to talk to. Not very pleasant to hear about.

Denise I'm comming for you.

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so much of my internal self-critique is based entirely around whether I think you're attracted to me or not and it's so fucking unhealthy but it's just how it is at the moment
the idea of you ignoring me and seducing someone else literally makes me suicidally depressed and i am entirely aware of how pathetic that is yet it still happens subconciously
i just want to be fulfilled and i finally thought you were going to help me
but ultimately that's just me being naive and selfish, you struggled far more than I did
which is why I hate myself so much I guess?
idk lol thinking like this has never helped me in the past but there's something i can't let go about u and i hate it

>>18243239
>so much of my internal self-critique is based entirely around whether I think you're attracted to me or not

Go to the gym, mate

It helps this so much

>>18243181
>be me
>closet homosex, closet bisex ex-bf
>break up with him over the summer after I find out he got a girl at our church pregnant
>go back to college
>come home for spring break, and apparently he's told everyone that I'm gay and tried to hit on him and get him to have sex with me
>also told everyone that I'm emotionally unstable and that he only associated with me because he felt bad that I didn't have any real friends
so not exactly the same situation but can kinda relate

I'm practicing a therapeutic technique called "opposite action." You purposely act in a way that is contrary to every "fight or flight" reaction you are having to a person. I'm afraid of most people, so my opposite action is to go up to them and greet them warmly, perhaps hug briefly and say nice to see you. I tried this with you and you used the opportunity to hurt me. So now my opposite action is to ignore you. You make this difficult when you wander into my sight to hug everyone around me but me, but I refuse to be drawn into a fight with you. I just want to like everyone. Even you. You make it hard.

I'm way too stressed.

>My mother lost her job so i lost health insurance. my boss offered to pay my health insurance but because my mother didnt send me the letter when i asked, i cant get it til june, i fly twice in may and am very prone to throat infections, particularly strep, and im worried i wont have the money to treat it
>our landlord hasnt fixed the A/C in a year, so now i have to sue him
>on top of that my boss wants us to move out, so i also have to find an entirely new office while sueing someone for the first time in my life both at the same time
>on top of this were not making ANY money this month

I cheat on him a lot and he doesn't suspect a thing. I wish he wasn't such a naive pussy.

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>My only experience (at all) to this point is from a four-year-long, severely manipulative/emotionally abusive relationship.
>Have a close-knit group of 5 friends who all live together.
>Have known two of them for 2 and 4 years respectively, the rest since Nov 2016.
>Finally left relationship in Jan 2017.
>Have had some feelings for friend of 2 years (Call him T) since we met, and start something very casual with him.
>T is well known for liking to pick up babes. This doesn't make him a bad person by any means.
>We're very honest about the situation and I have no expectations. It's a bit of the fun that I missed out on before without having to worry about getting hurt when it inevitably ends.
>A while later, it comes out that the youngest friend (Call him C) has feelings for me.
>I was absolutely oblivious to this.
>As we spend more time together, I start to develop feelings back.
>Eventually my 'thing' with T also comes out to the rest of the group (everybody except C.) Nobody cares, we're both adults who can make our own decisions.
>The rest of the group come to their own assumption that I couldn't/don't have feelings for C.
>They say that he doesn't even really care about me; He's just latched on to me because he is very lonely and vulnerable right now.
>It makes sense. I can't believe that he could really care that much about me. Even if he did, he'd get sick of me eventually and I couldn't handle that from someone as sweet as him.
>I agree with them and promise not to lead him on or hurt him, because we do all care about him very much.
>In the meantime, T has started to let his guard down a little and is showing signs of feelings as well.
>One night we all decided to drop a lot of MDMA and just hang out together at the house.
>C takes me aside and confesses his feelings for me.
>We spend a very long time talking about why we're both in a bad place for this right now, and nothing could/should happen between us.

Cont.

I don't believe in myself. I hate myself.

>>18243362
>Once we've come to an agreement and seem to understand eachother, we keep talking for ages about whatever comes to mind. You know how MDMA is.
>Something to note right now is that he is clearly much more mature than the rest of the group gives him credit for. He isn't just the 'dumb kid', he's just very guarded.
>End up playing on a park playground and watching the stars on a lake-pier.
>He kisses me, things very quickly escalate from there.
>Afterwards we immediately recognize that it was a mistake, and would never have happened if not for the drugs, but it was both of our doing.
>Promise to uphold our earlier agreement of just being friends and seeing how things go in the future.
>A couple of days later, the 'leader' of the house asks me what happened between us that night.
>I'm not going to lie to him.
>Immediately he, and presumably everybody else, believes that I have taken advantage of C and then broken his heart. Speak of 'my' decision to sleep with him when I knew that he had feelings for me, etc.
>I try my best to explain the situation and apologize for going against my promise to protect C, but make it clear that it was a MUTUAL mistake, and not a conscious decision that either of us would have made if not for the drugs.
>Haven't spoken to any of them except C since. We have an understanding of the situation and don't really know what to do now.

T doesn't know what happened - And despite being a casual relationship with no commitment (I know he's still picking up on Tinder) I feel like it's a matter of principle to finish what I started with him. I can't just go "Oh hey, I've got two options now and this one likes me more. Seeya later, loser."

>>18243387
Have you heard of Churchill's "black dog"?

Everyone can feel bad about themselves
Doesn't mean you can be anything less

i am going to fuck you when i come out to visit in june

I miss my boyfriend so much, it's unbearable. I wish I died instead of him.

>>18243171
The right thing is to take care of yourself first. Its like you are on a crashing airplane. You cant help anyone else if you pass out because you didnt put on your own oxygen mask on first.

>>18243360
I hope you get dumped by both flappy roasty

I'm going to punch you in the face so fucking hard. Out of respect though.

Fuck all I feel is anger from this. When I was in elementary I was an early bloomer and doctors said I had ADHD.
Motherfuckers ruined my mind with "medication" ment to "calm" down a fucking child. I believe my memory is garbage and so is my ability to communicate because of my fucking worthless single mother who had no backbone to say no.
She also was such a coward when it came to me, as an early bloomer I started growing miniscule amounts of facial hair.
She thought the only way for me to look normal was to bleach my upper lip with this burning cream. I hated every moment of it but I would be bribed with pocket change.
Now I have a permanent bleach scar on my face that whenever I look at, I want to die

i love her so much but i know she doesn't love me back. she often prefers to sleep with me in my bed than going home and sleeping in her own bed, and we hang out every day and she only leaves to go to class, and she doesn't care that i call her my girlfriend, but she still uses tinder and won't call me her boyfriend. i can't take this anymore. i'm terrified of asking for clarification because if i do it, there's a massive chance it's going to lead to an instant breakup. i have a feeling that i'm not really her boyfriend even if she is my girlfriend, and i'm not interested in a fwb thing because my heart isn't going to be able to handle it when she finds someone else. this whole situation is fucked. i have never met anyone i've loved more in my life. she's literally perfection in every way. i think she loves me loving her and not me for me. she knows that something's wrong, because she can always tell when i get upset, but we are never in a position to talk about it because people have been around almost every time and i don't want to have such an important conversation within earshot of others. in a few days she's going to dump my ass on the curb and i don't know what the fuck to do. i went from the happiest i've ever been in my entire life to probably the most miserable within the space of two weeks

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>meet girl
>same age, she tells me about herself
>gives me her number and asks me to call her
>we stay up until 2 AM talking in drowsy voices, she had such a nice accent
>laughed, flirted, talking to her was so easy
>went to sleep looking foward to next day
>sent her a text the next day
>she didnt respond until a day later
>try to start conversation
>she replies late and apologizes
>only 7-10 messages exchanged
>she didnt respond
>send her messages on a chatroom
>she didnt respond to those either

its been weeks and i dont have anyone to talk to about it and i can still hear her voice so vividly

id do anything to hear it again

>>18243729
Have you called again since?

>>18243734
sent her a message asking if she was free to talk on the phone and she didnt reply

im thinking of calling her tomorrow one last time to see if she'll pick up

if she didnt want to talk to me anymore i wish she'd atleast told me

should be sleeping but I'm making an album of photos of ya face I'm going to post on /soc/ and /b/ because ihysfm

>>18243739
If she does, feign some concern like ask if she's okay or some shit.

I want to be a doctor, but I can't bring myself to study for the MCAT with all this shit weighing so heavily on me. I can't find my own reasons to continue on besides maybe finding happiness in the path I have chosen, but I doubt that will even help. I said the same thing going through my undergraduate and all it does is take my mind off the inevitable emptiness and lack of purpose I have experienced since I can remember. I can't stop regretting how I wish I had done more during my college years. Yeah I did well academically, but I forced myself to stay in a relationship for 3 of those 4 years that ended up crushing me when I finally came around, which lead to a short period of experimenting and finding someone new who also ended up crushing my heart. I find it so hard to stay motivated, battling depression and not knowing where I will find happiness. Part of me wants to blame it on my lack of religion since it is a recurring issue in my relationships, but even if I tried to believe, I could not. I guess the only way to find out is to keep going and hope maybe one day I will find happiness, or not and I will have lived without it, or meaning. Fuck you M and K for making me realize how hard it will be to find someone who won't tear me apart.

I just want all these mental disturbances and physical pain to go away once and for all. I'm done with being neurotic and having my brain thinking a million things all the time. I can't stand my own mental voice anymore, even if it's trying to help me out.
fuck this bullshit, I just want to be healthy and feel happy about it

I am listening to Crawling by Linkin Park unironically

Wasted a month, how will I catch up with all this procrastination?

Fuck it, I'm just going to start putting drugs up my ass, hanging out at strange truck stops, and meeting strangers at the sex shop viewing booths.

I have mood swings, either im really positive and have good attitude/personnality, or im depressed and Start to self Destroyer. My life style doesnt help. Still has car, good job and Nice appartement. But i hate my Brain.

>>18243964
musically unironically or emotionally unironically?
If the former, I'll stand by your side for appreciating their contributions to a genre that is made fun of unreasonably often
If the latter, I hope you feel better soon

>>18244018
That is a great question. Unfortunately I can answer it. Going to have to go with both.

I regret everything.

>>18243105
I fell hard for a girl with depression who is working two jobs (forgoing college) to support her two dead beat parents and her siblings (mainly for the siblings). We really connected well, but last night she told me she couldn't "develop feelings" for me because she was "incapable" of doing so or some shit like that. She suggested I push her away because she couldn't return the feelings, and so I did. I felt like an absolute piece of shit.

MY NAME IS MARCUS AND I LICK GOOSE BUMHOLES

https://youtu.be/v9U0qMHHkSo

I make good money, but I'm a low 20s kissless virgin who gets drunk alone on weekends. Not sure if it was all worth it.

I hope i manage to get a good grade on that exam.. And that I understand this.

>>18243171
>shes pregnant with her ex's kid, didn't want to tell me
if she didnt want to tell u such an important thing but wants u to move in with her, she's using you.

>>18243171
She wants you to care for this kid don't do it. It's a trap. Sometimes you gotta cut someone loose.

Come on come over
As fast as you can

For fucks sake Abbie

>>18244142
i remember you from the last thread

I live with my parents. My mother suffers from sarcoidosis and COPD, and my father is getting n his 60's. We have a 50 acre land and starting a small farm, and being an only child they have no one else to look to for help. They helped me when I was a child, so what's wrong with helping them when they need it? You don't have to laugh at me and say "it's a red flag if a man is still living with his parents". I'm not a fucking parasite like others, I do my work both inside and outside the house. If you can't except the fact that my parents need me, then fuck off. They're better friends then any of you shits have been, and they understand that I don't want a relationship at this point. I'm an only child that's most likely going to be a male spinster and hermit, and I fucking happy with that. Fuck off with judging me, I'm happy and they're happy, and my family's happiness is the only thing that counts in my eyes. God I fucking hate other people as of lately.

I want to find someone again who can hug me without me feeling scared.

I just want a fucking hug.

>>18244585
You could probably sell some of that land.

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My friend basically broke my heart yesterday
I always have been attracted to her and we hang out a lot and she had said before "You know, if I was into girls I would totally date you" and has said I am sexy and that she has always been attracted to me.
We were hanging out a few days ago and she brought a friend, super tall, flat ass, literally autistic and "nyaaa"s at people and is an extremely manly transwoman
She told me yesterday that she is going to start dating that girl and her curent boyfriend.
I am fine being friends with her and all but this just breaks my heart a little. What does she see in this person that she doesn't see in me? I have been a good friend to her and we find eachother mutually attractive and she has even said that she would date me if she was into women... Now zhe is into women and she dates a 3/10 cringey autistic tranny instead of me.
It just hurts. Like ouch

Just a short question.
My parents always lied. They tried to bosot my confidence as a child, which to them meant that I was good or great t everything. Of course that wasnt true, and it only raised my expectations and eventually disappointed me when I found out I wasnt so great and that they had been lying.
I remember my father once straight up saying that even though lies are bad, if they make someone feel good for awhile its alright. Its not. you are deluding your child.
anyways Im an adult now and Im over that.
I do however, have much younger siblings. And theyre making the same mistakes again. And I can see that its affecting them in a negative way.
What can I do about this, do I just tell them in kind manner that this is wrong or let it be.
My mother especially has never really listened to me so I dont know if its even worth the effort but I do love my siblings and dont want them to go through the same things I did.

>>18244662
Don't do anything. I don't really consider what they are doing as wrong. My parents for example have never supported me. I felt all the time that i was never good enough. I had straight A's - they didn't even look at them, they never praised me, never aknowledged my success /when i was a chess player /which i became because my father loved that game// and when I decided to become an artist they said i wasn't good enough at drawing and i would never be. They were even SO DAMN sure i won't be accepted in the academy. As a result of this whole attitude I am never cofident even if i am doing a great job and i am always so hurt by the oppinions of other people. Your parents are doing ok. Everyone needs support, someone who tells them they are beautiful, talented and that they believe in them

>>18244721
I think harsh truths are necessary at times.
what you experienced wasnt nice but that doesnt mean that lying is good.

>>18244732
It's not exacly lying. I think they are just trying to help. Show their kids that there is someone who is on their side. There will always be people who criticise you and if you are really selfcritical like i am you could appreciate someone who is always supportative of your work

lmao it's retarded you accept drinks from guys when you go out and you have a boyfriend.

That's some retarded logic, you'd never talk to me again if I did that.

I want to cum all over your ass come here

>>18244197
the fucking jackass

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I did it, unfollowed all my ex's friends and family I am free from her, one of her guy friends recently posted a picture with her and all it brought me was pain. Hopefully this will help me heal fully.

>>18244660
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Any woman who would date a tranny is screwed in the head.

>>18243105
So I'm at that point where I start hitting myself in the head or smashing my head against walls, again. I'm at that very same point that I was when I was a kid and everybody would fucking terrorise me, bully me, walk all over me and destroy my reputation for cheap laughs.

Am I finally fucking allowed to say I have a problem or is it still "Just change your daily routine man" and "Just put yourself in perspective" to you fucking assholes? Am I finally beyond doubt or are you cunts going to keep looking at me with disdain for being childish enough to express my hurt? Do I have a fucking argument that isn't going to be refuted by evasive rhetoric and deadbeat "It's just part of life" answers? Can I finally expect some unconditional empathy or will you garbage people still try to weasel some self-righteous message in the dialogue under the guise of teaching me something?

I hope they press the fucking button already and blow this hell on earth to pieces.

>>18244642
I could, but neither me nor my folks want to. We're not hard up on money, we make enough to survive and a little for pleasure, but for the most part we're happy. My angry is more coming from so called friends who keep badgering me to leave my parents, even though they know my parents need my help and that I'm actually happy. Same way my "friends" keep telling me to get laid, even though sex is the least of my concerns, and the few women I've gone on dates with have always laughed at me when I said I lived with my parents. I realize that I'm happy and my parents are happy, but I'm getting pissed with the rest of society telling me I'm living my life wrong. Even more laughable though is when one girl laughed in my face because I lived with my parents (literal quote "How pathetic. You should of left them and lived your own life. I would never date a guy who couldn't man up"), and then weeks later she get's beaten and put into the hospital because she started dating someone who was notorious for cheating and beating on his girlfriends.

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I miss my ex

>>18244370
Who are you?

>>18244804
my ex loved horses and animals haha

>>18244897
We'll find our sticker again one day. Keep climbing the couches my friend. One day.

I devote all my free time to you. Yet for you that is not enough. YOu get mad whenever I'm not in contact with you, so doing anthing for my own pleasure slowly became a tabooooo. and you demand more and more and more...

>Dated someone since November until easter.
>they say theyve been single for a year upon us meeting
>says their ex abused them profusely for 5 years
>their ex starts blowing up their phone and social media, Im told to ignore it
>ex always texting and calling to "meet up for lunch" or "catch up"
>one night at a bar, their ex approaches me and says nothing and no one will come between them
>partner understands my frustration and agrees to cut contact with said ex
>goes well for a few days
>Find out my partner has been meeting up with their ex behind my back at the bar.
>break up

Am sad.

I guess it really is over now.

No reply, I nearly died.

I left that house/have stayed away from drugs. I'm going to the gym and spending time with family and eating healthy. I found a guy who loves me for all the things you didn't and is understanding of my situation. I'm taking medication to help with the depression/PTSD.

I have a good, stable office job, am paid well and there's room for advancement.

But I can't get over things. I love you so much, Moe. I love you so much. I wish I understood all the things I do now and could've been better with you. I know every day you're happy with someone else, glad to be rid of me, resentful of our time together. That I can never have you back, that I can never be with you, makes none of it worth it.

I have severe ptsd and chronic nightmares from everything that happened, but I'd relive it two fold if just to be near you.

It's so hard to admit to yourself you love someone so much and know that they have no semblance of feeling the same.

I don't know what is keeping me going. I'm trying so hard but my happiness was with you, not through all this convulted bullshit.

I wish I could understand. I really do hope you're doing well and are happy. I really do. I miss you every day. You're such a good person, I wish I could have been able to show you that. I wish I could take all the awful things back. I wish I could've helped you.

Depression sucks. I don't like thinking about killing myself all the time.

More like a question that doesn't deserve its own thread but:

Friend went on a date with this girl, he thought it went really well, then she didn't respond to ONE message and now he's just done with her.

Am I alone in thinking that's really stupid? Like he was really into this girl and she might have just not seen it. 2-3 messages and no reply, than yeah she's not interested, but one?

Why'd you kiss me? Why'd you kiss me again? Why'd you stop kissing me?

I'm just curious.

>>18244940
I'm in a similar boat. THought I could ring in my birthday with my first real relationship after things had been going so well.

Now it'll be another lonely B-Day.

At least we'll have other opportunities, and it seems like you got out of a bad situation. Good job.

>>18244955
Nah, he sounds incredibly insecure. He needs to figure out that part of himself before he'd be capable of a relationship.

That or maybe even though things went well something just didn't click and this was a lame excuse/out for him

dont have kids if youre ugly.
nobody wants to be ugly.

>>18244961
He did end a relationship about a month and a half ago (he made it clear that HE ended it). And he's had pretty substantial relationships in the past.

The lame excuse theory makes sense but they seemed to be getting along so well up to the date.

>>18244921
in the long run.

>>18244975
Even though he ended it maybe he's still coming to terms with/doesn't want to admit he's not ready for something new?

Shit, who knows. Probably wasn't meant to be if he dismissed it so easily, even if it seemed good

Why is it okay for others to lie and treat me like shit

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I'm not sure how I feel about my relationship
We get along well, but I feel like something is kind of missing somehow... she's into the same things as me, we joke a lot and both like cosplay and anime and she is sweet to me and caring but I don't know
She gets jealous even if I talk about attractive anime characters with her, she has some strong emotional issues, like she has fun on our dates but she always cries once she gets home and says she loves our relationship so much that she is just scared she'll mess it up and I comfort her, and I am not an avid messager but lately she has been getting really frustrated lately if I don't message her back right away even if I am at work. Sure I might like a post on Facebook but I don't have time for a whole text conversation there and can call once I get home like I always do.
She is sweet to me and we have a lot in common but something just isn't right... I'm not sure if I should stay with her or just end it, it seems like it should be right but I'm not feeling something

I don't know why I'm so attracted to you. I don't know why I love you so much. I'm just a quick fuck when you're feeling shitty about yourself. My feelings count for nothing with you.
I wish I could be brave enough to tell you no, the next time. I'm afraid I won't be.

The only reason I'm a 20yr. Old virgin is because my dick is 5in. Hard and not too much girth to it.
Been with 2 GF's before but never went anywhere with them as one was a virgin (not sure if it was true) and didn't want to have sex, the other was when i was younger.
Im afraid to get in a relationship and catch feels and later be crushed or cheated on.
I feel like a man dehydrating in the ocean, and it fucking sucks.
I don't even want to just lose my virginity but i want to find someone i love who loves me and would be willing to start a family, but i don't see it in my future, and all my friends are starting to think im gay because i am and have been single for awhile. Why is this shit common for me.

>>18245040
What if he loves you tho

>>18245055
It happens because you are so insecure about your dick. I was with a guy for a couple years who had a 3 inch dick but it didn't matter to me. If you find a nice girl, what should matter to her is your personality amd emotional compatability.

>>18245056
He doesn't. I know. He never returns my messages,so I've just stopped. He keeps pursuing other women. I won't hear from him for months, but when he's going through a rough patch, or breaks up with them, I'm the one who's always there.

goodbye

>>18245152
don't go

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I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN MONTHS YET EVERY TIME I AM REMINDED OF HER I FALL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN WHY AM I SO INFATUATED WITH HER FUCK

god damn, all you guys talk about this evening while drinking a beer is about how atheist must be beleving in some sort of god. sad point is i'm the only atheist in this group. you guys know i hate talking about this subject because you guys don't accept my opinion about this. fuck off. talk about bitches or something. just fuck off

>i have a porn addiction
>i'm obsessive
>i'm needy
>my meds are pretty much the only reason i'm productive and doing relatively well right now
>i fear that once high school is over i'll be alone with no friends again
>i have low self esteem
>i'm a very jealous person
>even when i'm with my friends i feel so uninteresting and dull
>i just feel lost in life

>mom tells me it's okay if I never have children
God damn mom, that shit's ruthless. I'm only 24. Do I seem THAT fucking hopeless?

I'm in love with a girl that I'm too scared to confess to. I don't want to ruin our friendship or make things weird, but I'm getting super jealous when she talks to other guys. I just want to hold her and kiss her forehead, and I don't think I will ever be able to.

This year and the year before that have been horrible garbage.
Financially broke and in debt as hell.
My mom had hip replacement surgery. Then she had heart attack. Then a triple bypass surgery.
My dad has melanoma. My sister has lupus.
Just recently my my boyfriend had to get a cyst removed from his kidney. He might have polycystic kidney disease. I just found out that his mom might have cancer. They found a tumour in her stomah that might be cancerous.

So you're saying Tim did something as well? With Iris? Renee?

I truly don't care anymore, I don't. They can all go and do what they want... it's them that have to live with their decisions.

I realize that everything I have known about the people in my life has been an absolute lie. The people I thought that were nice, that were loyal, that had my back... never had anything but their own interests in mind. That the person they were in reality is completely different.

I don't know if anything is true or not. Or real or whatever. I don't know why this is happening to me. I just want it to be over with... I just want the truth.

Whats with the eye patches? Whats with the winking? The one eye shut.

Just keep one eye shut to make everything seem alright.

What the fuck is going on.

Just what the fuck am I? Who am I? What am I? Why is this happening?

>>18245170
I feel the same! Everytime i think of my ex bf i fell deeper in love with him even though we broke up and he told me to delete his number and to not contact him at all.

I knew you guys were going to get her to come back but will it even be her? Or will it be her brother (they are twins right?) dressed as her? Or is she not dead for real? Whatever, I don't care. I understand now the entire relationship was fake and a lie.

Sometimes the songs you put up are a bit more on the nose than others. "I'm not the Cash and you're not June"

So whatever. Just end this already please. This is not how you go about this. You're doing it all fucking wrong. You might think you're helping, that this is the best way to tell someone their entire life was a lie (because hey, it's never happened before... right?) This isn't easing the blow, it's fucking dragging it out in the worse kind of way.

>>18245484
Like, this entire fucking time I could have been getting over it but instead you made me obsess and suffer every moment of every day.

How the fuck is that better?

>>18245484
What's your story anon?

Sounds like you got catfished or something

You're so much better than I deserve and I don't want to scare you away by asking to spend time with you but I can't stop missing you and the only thing that makes my head stop spinning is you and your beautiful eyes looking up on my bed

>>18244580
I can't even remember what I posted last thread

I wish your cock was bigger. So need to bounce on a big one. 5 inch is no fun.

>>18245513
Fucking creep

>>18244385
>if she didnt want to tell u such an important thing but wants u to move in with her, she's using you.

she thought it would change my mind. in some ways it is. the thing that gets me the most is the backstory.

me and her dated, and SHE broke up with me, because "you're too independent and don't need a girlfriend." we stared talking again about a week and a half ago, and she started to open up to me a bit. he was abusive, and she ended up leaving him. about a month ago, he suckered her into fucking him, and she ended up pregnant.

the thing is, she took him back after he was abusive, but wouldn't take me back because i was "too independent" or some shit like that. thats really the only thing pissing me off about the whole thing.

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I am the fitting image of a geek. Tall and lanky (6'1", 155ish pounds), wear thicker rimmed glasses, rockin an ivy league haircut that I tend to let overgrow and become unkempt, wear either plain t-shirts, gray sweaters, or graphic t-shirts involving astronomy, Legend of Zelda, or Star Wars with a pair of slim fit jeans. I enjoy shows adult men in rubber costumes beating the shit out of each other. Not to mention I'm shy as fuck and I get upset over getting B's on college assignments.

The only thing really separating me from that stereotypical image is my two bear paw tattoos on my forearms.

Anyway, I should try to accept that image that being myself gives off instead of trying to be some sort of friendly, average, middle class white guy (I'm actually poor as fuck).

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i am upset because people around me seem to be in flourishing, content relationships whereas i'm alone, and pretty much have been for a good time now

i am upset because i drove to a bbq a few days ago, i sperged out massively and someone caught on to me, which flows nicely in..
me being upset because i poured my heart out to a girl i like, and if nothing else, did it so i can know if she'll friendzone me or not, and now, she's all over one of my best friends(through which i met her in the first place)

i am also upset because i have been a massive pussy, and didn't take action earlier. especially upset since she told me, quote "if you had let me know earlier, who knows, maybe we could have had something

last but not least, i'm upset because i can't let this whole thing go, no matter what i try, and i made a fool of myself.
i wish i could run away to buttfuck nowhere, let nobody know and start over

GO TO SLEEP

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I got this HUGE anxiety feelings of embarassment over some blackout drunks i had 2 years ago and some minor shit i did while blacked out. [spoiler]Puked on a girl and did not remember a single thing next day[/spoiler]

Sometimes the feelings are so strong that i cant even sleep thinking about it, i wish i could wipe my memory.

I am afraid to go to college because I don't know algebra.

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I hope I didn't scare you by writing to you on soundcloud.

you deleted your account, God knows why.

I'm hoping ..almost desperately that it wasn't because of what I wrote..

a part of me simply assumed so much.. and my crush on you is admittedly, pretty strong..

I barely know anything about you.. your age.. upbringing..

I imagine the reason why you deleted your account is different maybe, and it's all in my head.. could be you got tired of so many messages from multiple ppl.. could be you have a bf and felt it a sort of disrespect(?) I dunno..

I don't expect you to reciprocate something so ..repulsive? strange? unappealing? Maybe I'm just assuming again and it's far more insignificant.

Sometimes I don't know the measure of my own stupidity.. until I get the recompense of my error realizing the intensity of my honesty. Only to feel like it's insignificant to you.. or ..I dunno.. I just don't know.

Why does she have to be such a slut?
She would be a great gf but this ruins everything. Guess I'll just keep her as a fuckbuddy and do the most filthy depraved shit to her to ruin her for the cuck that actually settles down with her whore ass.

>>18245581
khanacademy

free learning online.

I'm a pedophile. It's not something I can control emotionally. I cannot help what I find attractive. I've lived in denial for 8 years and I'm tired of living a lie. Nobody knows, i wouldn't dare tell anyone. I've had girlfriends, i lead a normal life with a job and career prospects and a nice apartment, but deep down i am a pedophile. And I always will be. I'll never act on my desires, I'll never harm children, and being someone in their late 20s I don't know any children either. I just wish society would understand that.

Meet a girl, we hit it off. We hang out a lot, acting like a couple. She tells me she isn't mentally prepared for a relationship and then we go back to a lighter version of our couple shit.

Find out she's dating some guy and my friend angrily confronts her about it which causes her to call me crying and apologizing and saying she went with him because there was a period of uncertainty with what was going on between us.

She sends one of her friends running after me to stop me from leaving so that she can talk to me. We talk she cries into my shoulder about how she made a mistake being with him because she's happier with me and that she told him about this.

Today she tells me she doesn't know what to do because her guy got angry, she got anxious and now he keeps trying to make her happy.

I'm just pissed and sad and I already feel like even if this "works out" I'll have to worry about this behavior in the future. Fucking sucks because this is the first girl in a long time that I've felt this way for.

I love you and am waiting for you

>>18245619
Some of us do. I don't condemn you. But yes, you should keep it inside and not hurt anyone, or openly talk to someone you trust about it to finally vent, or take medication. Some of us have gotten a serious urge to kill, rape, destroy, cheat. But because something can be done, doesn't mean it should be done. There is no peace of mind in that extreme form of escapism, it only takes you to a darker and darker place. Sadly, very few can probably find it in their heart to forgive that sort of behavior unless they themselves crawled in that hole and made it out alive. Listen to good music, exercise, eat healthy, try staying away from bad influences/urges.

I feel this hollow caused by loneliness and rejection

>Go to class with this guy
>Weird guy, talks about paranormal shit all the time like third eyes n shit
>Hang out with him
>My other class mate who I car pool with is a girl
>We hang out more often the three of us
>Weird guy spreads rumor that I'm going to rape her
>Would never do such a thing
>Guess she believed it, spreads shit too

what to do? He's just been getting into harder drugs and he was kicked out of home and moved to the big city.

>Classmates several cousins doesn't seem to buy this shit
>Get invited to one of her many cousins birthday I was too tired to go so I refused

Was it my chance to prove that I'm not that type of person. How can I clear this shit up? I want to kill the other guy but I'd rather watch him suffer from addictions. Knowing addicts their already in their own hell. I informed his older brother and gave me updates on how he's getting into coke and MDMA. I know he's got an addictive personality.

I need snugs...

I'm so fucking lonely and dealing with whatever this is... it's killing me. Why do I have to do it alone? Why is it so important to you all that I have to suffer? That I have to be made to feel lonely and unloved?

Every day I wake up thinking the same thing... "I want to die." Every morning I wake up I'm disappointed.

All these sex hints are weird and kinda insulting. The "teaser", "Peace sign (use two fingers... really, no shit?)" "Take off all your clothes. (fucking of course, duh) and apparently you want me to eat ass.

I haven't had sex in like.. 2 years and you want me to film a sextape? Really? FUCKING WHY? Do you have any idea how incredibly anxious and nervous knowing I'm being fucking recorded is going to make me? It's going to be a trainwreck. I would need a fucking entire MONTH of practice before I would feel even remotely comfortable doing something like that.

Especially with the type of girls that are going to be involved. Basically the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my fucking life (MM) and then with another incredibly gorgeous girl. So being sexless for years and then with them... I'll last maybe 5 minutes, tops.

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>>18245574

>>18245729
It gets better. I promise.

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>>18245771
Using the darksouls message system and deaths to give me hints is cute.

I don't want to wait until June to do this. I wish it were much, much sooner.

>>18245782
NIGGER DON'T

Shit fucking scares me

I just looked at her instagram and god damnit I will die. I will literally die.

Tonight my friends will go clubbing. They always go to the same club, I don't like it. So I decided to stay home, but I feel bad for my decision. I really wanted to hang out with my friends, but not really to that place. How do I stop feeling bad?

Just fucking end this so I can start sifting through the fucking ashes. To see if there is anything worth salvaging. Doing what you're doing to me is just fucking with me more. I just want to get this over with so I can move on. Please...

Sometimes I miss the days of being a teenager where I was apathetic towards everything. Now that I care about what I'm doing life is much harder and anxiety/stress is through the roof. Damn

Really fucks with your self worth when the only reason someone will be with you is because they are being paid.

I'm never going to be able to trust anyone ever again. I will always be wondering if they are an actor or not.

I'm always going to be a wreck of a person because of this.

I have so many questions.

I don't want to be alone...

>>18244585
Hello former me, except I am a female. People can be aholes. If they mind, they don't matter. I know a ton of people who don't live at home and leach off their parents and treat them poorly. Find people who don't mind.

>>18245653
You must be a female

Ya know... if you could have responded with only a fraction of the enthusiasm with which I responded to you, I might not be so fucking disappointed right now. It's taking you this long to reply to my catch up email? I mean......

What's happened to my old friend? :(

>>18245973
Don't let one experience destroy possibilities.

>>18245803
Watch tv

>>18246042
one experience?

It's been my entire fucking life. Every relationship I have been in they were paid for it. Every person I have ever had an interaction with has been an actor. My entire life has been an absolute lie.

I need you, is that what you want to hear?
My mental health is in the fucking shitter right now and you're the only person I feel like can help
I'll do whatever you want, you can beat the shit out of me or I'll give you money or suck your dick or whatever the fuck it takes but please be my fucking friend again so I don't have to be alone right now
My mind has gotten so against me my only out would be to beg for help from the one person I know wouldn't give it to me
Fuck

>>18246055
What is your circumstance?

>>18246080
I'll be your friend, anon. Don't jump back into a toxic cycle

>>18246113
I'm the toxic one, that's why he'd never take me back
I just want to feel like someone cares and he's the only person I know in real life

>>18246123
I get where you're coming from, but I don't have to know you in real life to care. I'm here if you need someone to lean on.... you aren't alone

>>18246141
I think I need somebody in real life, though
I need someone to help me out of the downwards spiral I've been in for the past year
But I have nothing to offer in return, so I guess that's that

I walked away from my friends about half a year ago now and even though I'm feeling better I don't want to go back.

I also dream to become an actor. I've been looking back on my life and all the theater I used to do in hs, and that I actually enjoyed it. My teacher was a fucking crazy dictator who played mind games but when I got to be in student directed one act plays I enjoyed it. Was even a good romantic lead, made me feel good to be able to do shit I couldn't do well irl. A lot of my old friends pursued theater in Uni but I prefer film and I don't approach acting in the way a University program would want me to. I'm not someone who wants to learn how to do movement pieces or be a ventriloquist or a stage entertainer or an improv actor or a million faces. I want to sit down with a script and embody the energy of a single character, work with a director and fellow actors and talk about our project in minute detail as well as the big picture. I want to express things that I simply can't express without everything being put in place.

But it's just a dream

>>18244795
I hit that point like 2 months ago. Get stressed, go to the restroom and slam my head off the stall door, it would swing closed, then bounce back to me and I'd hit again and again. But I just kind of stopped. I'd say change your routine is useful advice and change your perspective isn't realistically going to happen, perspective takes time to form.

>>18245619
Talked to a guy who told me he was a pedophile. Knew him for a while beforehand. Nice guy. I can't offer you much else, but I wish you luck.

>>18245679
What the fuck was his deal? That's a needlessly harsh rumor to spread. Even if this guy is a two faced manipulative little shit, why did he have to take it to rape? Hope you recover, and I'd say confront the girl and tell her it's not true, which I realize would not be pleasant but... I mean, what else can be done?

My life is empty and dull, and ive begun fantasizing about getting back together with an ex that i broke up with several months ago to fill this hole. Im incredibly self destructive and i need something entirely new to re-wire my fucked up brain. I saved some money and im hopefully going to go on a trip some time soon, i hope that gives me a new perspective, because if im the same fucking asshole when i get back im going to jump into a woodchipper.

Today was my moonbeam's bday and she got her first tattoo. Life is good.

>>18246170
What would help you out of the spiral? If you live near me I'll totally come hang out.... I'm a grill so no neckbeard weirdness here

>>18246185
Just something to keep me in reality so I can sort out my life, I've been stuck in a dissociative episode these past couple of days and it makes it hard to deal with the day-to-day and it just piles up
That's a really kind offer, anon, but I doubt you are another Brit awake at 4am

https://youtu.be/FQ0iq10ULNA

Today I had the opportunity to ask for the number of a girl I really like. We were in the parking lot and she said bye and walked away. I just let her go and couldn't move a muscle. I feel like shit

>>18246177
Your moonbeam is gonna choke on another guys dick in the near future and youll cry about it.

>>18243105
I've felt so pent up in my life. 2 weeks in to this NOFAP challenge and I feel like I'm about to lose it. This isn't even some addiction, I need help bullshit, I just want to see if I can stick with it for a month. It ends on May 4th, but I don't think I can last that long.

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>>18246234

I have this stuffing fetish and it drives me fucking nuts. I want to stuff a girl until her belly is distended and bloated. However, I don't want to be the cause of the various diseases health issues that come with that fetish. I keep trying to find some way to toe the line but I just want to dive balls deep into that fetish.
Fuck me...Who the hell can live like this?

I'm the weird guy at work that everyone hates.

It hurts to live.

>>18246080
Fuck you. You cheated on me and wouldn't even admit it. You deserve to live the rest of your shitty days in hell. I'm glad your grandfather died too. He was a real piece of shit.
I wasted all my time, energy, and money on you, and you easily through me away like garbage. But you know what? I'm glad you did, because I don't have to deal with you no more. You were a whiny bitch, and God you acted like a fucking child like 99% of the time we were together. Plus I spent a shit ton of cash on you.
God do i ever regret even talking to you. You were fucking crazy. Always crying for some stupid shit, always whining about how much you miss your dead mother. Now, since I'm finally free from you, I've been fucking tons of chicks, have money to blow on the shit I actually want, and have all the time in the world to do the things i want to do. I thought I was happy with you, but the truth is I was deluding myself.
You are the worst human being in the world, and i hope no man has to go through what I went through. Death isn't even a punishment for you. You need to suffer. And my only wish in life, is to be there to see it happen.
Fuck you and your dead mother.

You say you're in love with him, but you fail to see that he's treating you as a fuck toy. He's 10 years older than us for fucks sake and he married a young girl to begin with. He's reading her out for a younger model and you're stupid enough to believe he'll keep you around after the divorce. I'll play along for now because you threw a fit when I spoke my concerns the first time. But fuck him. I know that this is all going to get fucked up fast real soon and you'll be over your head in shit. You'll need me then and I hope you'll listen to me in the future.

>meet girl a few months ago and we hit it off really well
>she turns out to basically be my dream girl in every possible way, not only beautiful but everything i've ever wanted in another person
>we spend a few months just hanging out and being friends, although i never stop making it clear that i'm in love
>she starts sleeping in my bed with me on an extremely regular basis
>one night shit finally happens, we finally kiss, she confesses her feelings
>i autistically jump the gun and assume we're in a relationship now because of the long period of doing stuff leading up to this (she literally slept in my bed for a full month), i state this aloud many times, she never says anything to the contrary
>we hang out every single day, i kiss her goodbye, etc
>notice over the past week she's started getting distant
>i start getting moody while we're hanging out because she never acts like she likes me in public, only in private
>she starts calling me out for it, i keep dodging the question of why i'm upset because a special event is going on (a friend of hers is visiting) for the whole week and i don't want to cause a scene in public or ruin her fun, sadly i can't hide that i'm frustrated
>tomorrow we're hanging out and the friend is leaving but once again someone else will be around, so getting any answers will be difficult even though the friend is hip to what's going on
>fucking terrified and anxious and feel like i'm going to throw up

i thought love was supposed to be fun. if tomorrow doesn't go well, i'm throwin in the towel

>>18246190
I'm in the states so unfortunately way too far.... But I'd be happy to give you my email if you wanna be semi-real life friends.... Or something ...

To keep you in reality? I'm not sure how dissociation works so bear with me here
.. but can you do something similar to Leonardo dicaprio in the movie inception, where he keeps a little spinny top charm thing to remind himself he's in reality not dreamland? Or wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap yourself when you feel you're drifting off.....

I feel like an idiot but ah well...
I'm genuinely interested in how you keep yourself grounded when it comes to that

>>18243679
Have you seen tattoo scar cover up? They match your skin color.

>>18243105
Thanks for making it fucking awkward again.

If u wanna be friends stop being awkward trash u fucking excuse for a human being.

Jesus, its shit like that, in which i contemplate how much of a fucking nigger you can be, that i forget your tiny ass head cant formulate a response to save your life unless its normee shit. God damn i need to handle my fucking anger better.

>>18246353
That sounds like it would be nice but I feel like I would mess it up very quickly, I am not very good at conversing with people

I have only recently became acquainted with the term dissociation and how it relates to my situation so I'm not really very sure myself, but I'm not sure if something like that would work
It's less of a "dreamland" and more of a void where I've completely checked out, the period of time where I feel I'm going there but it's not already too late to pull myself out of it is very short
I am going to spend the immediate future better understanding what's wrong and experimenting with ways to keep myself grounded without outside help, but right now I don't have the answers, that's why I'm up at this time at all

It's sincerely heartwarming of you to take an interest like this, anon, I am glad to be talking to you right now

>>18246345
a few other deets because why not

>she happens to be an incredible catch and i on the other hand am pretty much nothing
>she's obviously frustrated that i won't tell her what's going on but the conversation i need to have with her is very personal and private and she keeps trying to get me to talk to her in the middle of, like, crowded department stores or party places
>i realize that i fucked up by being too anxious to tell her anything or at least say "i need to talk to you in private", but it's too little too late
>i'm pretty sure at this point that she's going to dump the fuck out of me because now it seems like i'll never be straightforward with her
>my friends are so pissed off at me regarding how i've handled this situation that they've all abandoned me
>i'm going to end up lonely and with absolutely noone and nothing, all because i fell in love

time to drink

okay, vent over, i'm going to bed to prepare for tomorrow. wish me luck /adv/. it's very possible that i'm overthinking everything and it will all be fine, but i can't help but expect the worst, because i fucked up majorly.

>>18243407

Holy shit I just looked that up and it's actually really interesting, eye-opening, and helpful.

Thank you anon.

>>18246227
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhhkk69CxXc
>>18246383
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqCebME-qnU

>>18244563
Fuck Abbie. They're all bitches

>>18246394
Amen!

I'm worried about what friends think of me sometimes. After being ghosted twice, it fucks with your head. I now worry a lot as to if I'm doing something wrong or thinking what if my friends don't really like me? It sucks because now I care even more about what people think of me. Wish I could just delete the memories and accept that not everyone likes everyone.

>>18246402
Did you date one too?

>>18246334
They're all probably weirdos too, try not to worry about it too much everyone has strange habits they rarely show it.

>>18246407
Yes. It was horrible.

>>18246411
Mine was my high school sweetheart. Almost proposed to her. Then I found out she was getting a hysterectomy. She didn't want to tell me because she knew I wanted kids. She was just going to play stupid when we couldn't get pregnant and let me think it was infertility.

>>18246391
good song, but i absolutely know i love her with everything i've got and i'm going to go down with the ship if it's necessary. not the smartest move, but she's literally the most important thing in my life at this point, and i've made a lot of positive choices as a result of her influence on my life (getting my license, getting a job, working out, etc.). she's basically become my best friend, too... but i don't think i can handle her being with other people, so if she says we're not a thing anymore, then i guess everything has to end.

i'm just praying that she's willing to try to work things out as opposed to trying to quietly slip away. i'm not even religious! love does absurd things to us, i guess

It's depressing to realize that some people are born to be loved as people and someone like me was born out of selfishness to be used as a resource once my novelty wore off. People only deal with me wanting to know what they can get out of me or how they can use me. Never do I meet people who just wish to be around me. So what's the point of trying to be social? Why should I make it easier for people to use and take from me only to leave me with my sadness and loneliness once they're done? I really shouldn't have been born.

>>18246418
Mine cheated on me like the whore she is. She would always say, "oh I'd never cheat on you, only hoes do that". She was really annoying too. I honestly don't know why I dated her.

>>18246382
Nahhh there's no way you could mess it up... There's no pressure here, anon, so if you decide you're up for it, don't hesitate... Ashley1_9 @ hotmail

I'm kind of a chatterbox so even if you have probs conversing with others, I'll make it easy for you, I promise :)

That's really interesting. So it's like you drift off to la la land, for lack of better phrasing? You don't have time gaps where you don't recall what you've done? I wasn't sure if you were speaking of multiple personalities or what

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I just want a cute white boy with a nice thicc ass that's somewhat sexually submissive... But it seems like no white boys want a mixed girl

>>18246427
At times some pussy is better than no pussy. I can't stand the name now. She spelled her Abbi. Any girl I meet spelled that way I automatically hate. I think they're a liar.

>>18246434
lol, the girl i'm describing above (not gonna click the posts just in case she somehow miraculously finds this thread and puts two and two together) is mixed and i'm as you describe

>>18246428
I will consider it, I greatly appreciate the offer.

La la land isn't a bad way of putting it, yeah. Like I go on autopilot for a while and indulge in some mindless entertainment. When I come to there are gaps in memory, although I wonder if that's because I've done nothing worth remembering.
Multiple personalities is under the umbrella of dissociative disorders, but I'm pretty sure that isn't what I have, it's less becoming someone else and more becoming nobody

>>18246441
Any Abby, Abbie, or Abigail, or anything close and I don't associate myself with them. I have a hard time trusting women as is.

>>18246265
Are their dating websites that cater to this sort of fetish...I'm not even looking for love, just a meet up or one night stand to see if this fetish is even all that.

>>18246446
If you like her, I encourage you to go for her, familia.

>>18246461
Im guessing she was pretty close before the split.

How to tell when someone is really OCD or suffers from a mild case of autism and it is not just using it as a way to be an asshole. My significand other is quite normal but whe. He decides its apropriate he blames it on being autistic, I am at my limit now on trying to understand him and as much as I love him it is taking a toll on my health and my self steem. It is just so weird how everything is fine but if something doen't go as he pleases then he explodes.

>>18246495
He has never been diagnosed because he refuses a profesional to see him, he believes in the master google knows it all.

>>18246495
as someone who is having issues with their relationship due to autism and OCD, it all comes down to if they are willing to admit that, despite their issues, they're being an asshole. do they show any signs of regret for when they are an asshole, or any self-awareness at all? if not, then they're probably being a dick in a defensive manner, which could still be caused by their mental issues, but if they're not willing to work on it, then they're not worth it. have a serious talk with them about it.

>>18246502
oh, in this case, you need to tell them to get an official diagnosis. if they know they have problems, then they should know that there are medications out there that can help them, as well as therapy that can give them coping mechanisms to be better to the people around them. if they're not willing to do that, dump.

>>18246505
He usually blames everything on me and in very extraordinary rare ocassions he apologizes, but he has hurt my feeli gs multiple times without him caring about it. Talking to him always end up in a massive argument and I am honestly tired. He can be nice but as I told him, is like walking on eggshells everyday.

>>18246509
I have the feeling it will end up like that :(

>>18246491
Yeah but I'm glad we broke up. I wouldn't want to be dating a whore anyways.

>>18246513
yeah, unfortunately there's not much you can do in situations like that. :( hope everything goes well for ya, anon. sending good vibes!

>>18246544
Thank you so much for your advice,I seriously appreciate it.

>>18246451
I think even the most popular person would agree that everyone needs to be a nobody now and again... Just a form of escapism for you?
Why is this one person your remedy instead of any other stable presence in your life?

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My bestfriend and brother are assholes who don't want to spend time with me anymore now that they have girlfriends. Its fucking bullshit. Whenever I was dating a girl, I still made time for my friends. Life is lonely enough as it is. I miss the fuck out of my ex, who I just found out is getting engaged to this guy she has been dating for 5 months.

I'm trying to be strong, but life just feels so lonely. I felt like nobody understood me like she did, and even without her my friends aren't there for me.

Nobody cares about my interests or wonders how I'm doing. Thats how it feels anyway. I always go the extra mile for everyone but nobody can for me. I hate football, its fucking boring but I still watch and try to make conversation about it. The only thing keeping me sane is training for MMA.

>>18246555
Not really escapism since it's not something I have control over, I have read that it is a defence mechanism in response to trauma
I don't think trauma is an appropriate word, it sounds too extreme, but it seems like it may be a symptom of depression/anxiety disorders I have struggled with throughout my life but have recently worsened
He had helped me through times like this in my past before we fell out, I cannot think of any other stable presence that could offer me what I feel like I need right now

>>18246568
Anon, you have to accept that people are going to come and go. It's not that they don't want to spend time with you, it's fucking hard to make time for friends when you have a girlfriend, especially if they are fairly demanding. When someone has a choice between spending time with someone they love or spending time with a friend that they love platonically, they're probably going to choose the romantic option.

But don't let that get you down. What you need to do is get out of the house and meet new people. Do you have any hobbies? Are you interested in any things? Look on meetup.com, or check out Craigslist and see what's going on in your city. Get involved with the music scene, start doing DIY stuff and selling it, the sky's the limit. There's a whole world out there full of people worth meeting, you just have to put forth the effort to find them. Who knows, maybe you'll meet someone new who'll help you forget all about your ex. ;)

I was you a few months ago. I was an idiot. Trust in what I'm saying. Sending good vibes, anon.

>tfw you lost track of how many years you've have been single for
>tfw you just aimlessly scroll through your accounts occasionally accidentally clicking something
>tfw life has you completely detached from relationships

>>18246381
Im a awkward piece of shit. Got that special snowflake anxiety disorder.

I'm not fucking racist and I don't hate black people. How fucking retarded are you?
I hate people who are loud, rude, or obnoxious.

It's incredibly ironic that you looked at their skin color, while I looked at their actions.

>>18246394
>>18246402
THIS

Abbie is a dumb, attention-seeking worthless whore who will sleep with anyone.

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>>18246624
Right now, my hobby is just MMA and I'm really passionate about it. I'm trying to move on from but its been kinda not going according to plan. This one girl said yes to a date and just ghosted me. Oh well, one of these days my luck will turn up

Freya, you might be reading this for all I know I really do still love you and I hope you talk to me soon. I'm legitimately concerned about you and I'm just hoping you've been acting like this because you haven't been on your meds but I'll admit I haven't been handling it gracefully either. You just have been difficult lately. You last updated about wanting to kill yourself so I'm getting really worried becasue you've been acting so rashly. I can't believe I almost was in the clear and had you back and then couldn't deescalate the situation over something as stupid as shitposting. and i hope you aren't worried about Denise because there is no way we are getting together and my feelings about that are irrelevant. If this really is it then I'm sorry it ended so poorly. Last time it ended really picturesquely and I wasted my best line because you came back but oh well, things can't end like in the movies can they?

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People I know never call me on the phone yet complain they can never reach me because I don't use social media much - even though they know my phone number.
So I stopped using social media altogether because fuck their stupidity.

I'm reporting you whoever you are, stop harassing people and annoying them.
This is to random person and I might or might not be paranoid. Sorry if it weirds anyone out!

I have never had a relationship that lasted longer than two months and i cheated on probably the only one of them who actually considered me her boyfriend.

>>18243105
I did some introspection and realized just how alone I have been my life. I was that guy who had to have the teacher pair up for group work because no one would work with me unless forced to. In college I had to do everything myself since I was actively rebuffed. I don't have friends, even at work only my bosses will talk to me, not even my coworkers will unless they absolutely have to.

It feels pretty shitty seeing everyone having fun but I am so isolated.

I've been into art ever since I was young but now as I'm coming to the end of my first year of fine arts I'm realizing that maybe I'd be better off just doing it as a hobby. I feel like art should be an expression of yourself and not an attempt to make money, but I have never been been passionate or "good" at anything else in life. I don't even know what kind of artistic career I'd want either if I continue down this path. These thoughts demoralize me so much I've sort of given up on my last two weeks of this semester. I had a 4.0 last semester and now I'm just hoping it's at least a three.

>>18246835
I don't blame you

>>18246835
I did this, but no one contacted me on anything anyway.

>get married
>wife goes crazy and leaves me
>tells cops i raped her
>now have serious anxiety around all women
>had a panic attack last time a woman was flirty with me


Am I Elliot Rodger now?

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>>18246908
not quite yet

When you live in luxury itll only get you so far. I wish to be as old as you, but as wise as I. I would've chose different. Even now, I choose negligent and I ask for youth. No one is too late

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>>18246890
Post some of your art.

The thing with art, you can make a career out of it while expressing yourself. Like yuumei, she does mainly activist art and is amazing at it.

You need to be very good at art to make a living off it these days, so post some art and we can tell you what we think?

pic related: Better tomorrow by yuumei

I have a crush on a guy thats absolutely the opposite of me. Hedonistic, polyamorous, kind of douchey for moments. I dont really know why I like him. All we do is fuck and cuddle.
I just feel so lonely. I want to feel like i actually like someone, and dating apps make me feel even worse because it seems so superficial and meaningless. I have a very lonely job and im somewhat shy so that doesnt help.
I wish i just had someone to have sex with, cuddle and that actually cared about me at least a little.

>>18246434
Im a fat white boy that is sexually submissive.

I have heaps of skinny/thicc white friends that are subs.

sub is the most popular role, for both sexes

>>18246921
>I wish i just had someone to have sex with, cuddle and that actually cared about me at least a little.
No, you don't.

>>18246434
>But it seems like no white boys want a mixed girl

They do.

But white guys (especially those of us with thicc asses) are normally to shy to show it.
Especially if they are sexually submissive.

>>18246908

Man that sucks.

I'd have gone full Elliot Rodger by now, or locked her in a barn on some remote cheap-ass piece of land I bought in someone elses name or some shit by that point.

Cunts like that deserve any pain they get.

Im 19 and going through hypoglycemia from alcohol withdrawals, te shit thing is that none of my family takes it seriously. It's been of and on for 3 months and right now its 2:00 am and i can't sleep because my heart goes crazy, im light headed, i have whole body tremors, i am randomly falling into anxiety attacks, and I've been sober for 58 days. I fucking hate everuthing right now. I grow and have jars full of bud but yet i can't smoke any of it without felling like shit because of hypoglycemia. I don't have a job, no car, ad the closest hospital is 6 miles aeay from me, with my fatigue issues i can't go that faron foot again because of this shit. All through 1 year of drinking... i fucking want to die but im afraid of death at the same time, and neither my mom or my dad give a fuck. I haven't been in a relationship in years and my clisest friends are all growing up and starting families while im here paying for my life choices. The past 2 montys have been hell. I fucking hate everything right now!!!

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>tfw contracted oneitis for the first time
>now no other girl can compare to the one I like
It's both exhilarating and irritating.

>be me
>desperately chase girls in my teens
>all reject me because Im an ugly fuck but I didnt realize that yet
>some do however enjoy conversations with me
>talk to one girl all the time online
>she doesnt know yet what I look like
>we talk basically everyday for hours
>she wants to know what I look like
>after doing some digging she finds some random ass video with me in it
>cancels plans to meet inrl
>slowly stop talking to her
>still wishes me happy birthday and occasionally asks how I am doing
>other girls all just basically ignored me after they saw what I looked like or tried to use me

is it a good idea to ask her if she rejected me for my appearance or not. I know its basically set in stone already but I feel like I just need to confirmation.

>Grow up autistic and bullied
>Constantly think Im not deserving of happiness out of other people, yadda yadda.
>Get oneitis
>Start getting close to her, takes months
>Muster all of my fucking courage
>Ask oneitis out
>First time doing this ever, knees weak arms are heavy mom's spaghetti etc
>She accepts
>I'm so happy
>The day comes
>She isn't answering text or phones
>Get stood up
> She never speaks to me again, me neither
>Feel the treason of not being even worthy of a reason for it, much less an apology
>This was 2 years ago

I'm now 19 and even though I still find lots of grills attractive, I just end up making excuses or not trying hard enough. I've gotten rejected casually again here and there, and honestly it all seems pointless. I'll never feel the butterflies of love in my stomach again because it just makes you miserable if you aren't able to get the grill.

I've already accepted it, all of it, it's part of me already.

I'm here because I need to unfuck myself out, and it can't rely on external feedback

>>18246921
Trick him into going out with you.

>>18247419
there's no point asking now, especially since it sounds like this happened months ago
if for whatever reason you have a conversation and it would make sense to bring that topic up then maybe mention it for closure. it might just come off as petty/insecure though

>>18247393
I hate that feel bro, anyway good luck I hope you get the girl, if you don't I trust that after a while you'll manage to stop caring about her. Pay attention to anything you can notice as a flaw in her. I know it may seem like she doesn't have any but hopefully she's not taking full care of herself or being at her best 100% of the time and you'll notice.

You're the worst thing that ever happened to me.

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>>18243105
I QUIT MY JOB I LIVE WITH MY MOM AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It seems like every guy I meet skips all the steps of any kind of relationship and goes straight to the worst step - the trying to control me step. Okay, that step comes with every guy but it usually comes AFTER all the good stuff. Like sex. And getting to know someone. I was in a relationship for 12 years. I know how this shit works. Something is wrong with people today. I meet a guy and then bam without even going on one date they start up with the being a whiny bitch. I'm just done with this shit. Something's just wrong and I blame cell phones.

>>18247544
Same

>>18247568
>Okay, that step comes with every guy
Really? Is it actually that common with guys?

>>18247572
Wanna jump off a bridge together anon?

>>18245672
me 2

>>18247602
Yea, man. Before we do that would you tell me your story?

>>18245542
so basically:
>she leaves ex
>gets together with you
>dumps you and goes back to ex, who was abusive(!)
>gets pregnant
>wants you back to pick up the pieces

If you were too independent for her once, why aren't you now?
Also, she did this once to you, who's to say she's not gonna leave you for her ex or some other guy again? Especially when there will be a kid involved in all this, which you will be emotionally attached to? Think about it.

>>18247613
Was in love with a guy for several years, he kept me wrapped around his finger for sex, saying he didn't know where the future would take us. He knew I was in love with him, and he knew I'd had a similar situation happen once before. I don't even enjoy sex (I was raped twice), I did it for him. I gave so much of myself for him, I took care of him when he was sick, I drove hours to see him at a time and he met someone else.

>>18247559
hiring agency

I really wanna end things with my long term gf so i can fuck sluts without repercussion.

Love is overrated.

>>18246890
I dropped out of art school and kept it a hobby for the same reason. Now a days I don't even draw. Art was more fun when I drew with my friends, later it became a sort of chore almost.

>>18247630
Sorry to hear that femanon

>>18247664
What's your story anon

Almost
Several times

I want to absolutely stop giving a shit and not care about other people's feelings, about disappointing or betraying other people. People in general have not been nice to me and I think it's time I stop caring about other people's feelings and needs and just do what I feel like doing, or that I *need* to do, only caring about my own well being.

>>18247568
Why does every guy you meet feel the need to try and control you? Are you untrustworthy? Are you a drug addict or alcoholic or something?

>>18247568
>>18247749
And why are you getting so close to them so fast that they are even aware of what is going on in your personal life before the dating/sex phase? They shouldnt even know what you are up to when you are not around.

>>18246921
Don't settle for mediocrity if it's taking a toll on your spirit. Believe in yourself.

>>18247559
I did too! Running out of money fast and worlking 24/7 in a portafolio to get a better job to avoid falling in another hellhole as before. You can do it Anon!

>>18247839
what kind of portfolio are you working on?

>>18247914
Design :)

my girlfriend is way too pure, after about 5 months of dating, the most we have done is some minor tit grabbing. am i expecting too much?

>>18247640
Maybe you never fell in love strongly? All the temptation and desperation I had at an art school surrounded by girls very much like her, but not nearly close to what she was to me -still wasn't enough to break me. I left school crazy about wanting to see her, insanely in love with her. The thought of her alone was very healing, distant as she was. I can see people getting tired of one another, but more than likely if there isn't much of an attraction to begin with. Usually people in love will reach a neutral state of being simply content in one anothers presence.

Abundance does degrade endurance though, the more you surround yourself with vulnerabilities and opportunities to fuck up, the higher the chances when you're spiritually weak. This is why I tell ppl to stay away from social media, it injects seeds of possibility, girls end up sending pics, doing shit behind their partners back, etc.

>>18247993
of course not everybody turns out that way, but clearly a few do. even they can be forgiven, but trust becomes an issue needlessly.

>>18244563
>>18246394
God damn it, Abbie. I don't want to be friends. Just leave me alone.

>>18248243
Maybe we should start an Abby hate thread

I miss her already. She is the moon in my night sky. She is strong and always swims against the tide. How she carries herself and expresses her thoughts calms the waves that crash against my skull.

Maybe I've just never been good with saying goodbye.

Maybe I'm autistic and undiagnosed. I struggle with eye contact and I always want to replace my words with something immature and silly.

Maybe I'm hard to love. Often times I find myself struggling to open up and trust another person with my feelings. I've learned people take advantage of my kindness and my generosity with money and gifts.

Maybe I should be alone. I don't know how to initiate and return feelings of love.

Maybe I'm glad I've gotten away from someone who abused me and used me as an emotional punching bag.

Maybe I'm speaking of anger and resentment so I won't continue and begin to draw instead.

I'm going to die soon.

And I will be forgotten in 100 years.

https://youtu.be/szIDM99kRNM

I'm angry at myself for how I treated this relationship. I had no life outside of you, and I depended solely on you for my happiness, I was needy and insecure. At some point I forgot I had to keep the flame alive. I was happy just seeing you every night, hanging at your place and sleeping together. I guess that wasn't enough. But you made me feel things I've never felt before. You took me to my highest high.

I'm angry at you for not saying you were unhappy sooner. For telling me you're not in love with me anymore, and you've been feeling this way for a long time. I know I should have figured it out by myself, but I was crazy in love and I thought you were too. I'm angry you didn't try communicating with me so we could fix our problems, but instead you walked out on me. You brought me back to my lowest low.

>>18245653
She's not coming back

>>18248255

everyone and everything will be forgotten eventually, even Hitler

>>18248321
awww

:(

But I planned on living forever.

>>18248339
or dying ASAP.

Either one.

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>>18246928
>>18246990

It's me, op mixed girl, i didn't know a lot of white boys were submissive. And the fact that many do look at mixed girls now gives me hope. Thank you, anons

This weekend is the worst, make it stop or make my life stop I don't even care anymore.

https://youtu.be/POZ-Kuj0zN0

>>18243152

I myself have moved to NC for a shit relationship and all I can say is I wish you the best in your time of grief when this all goes horrendously wrong

You can fuck off with your "not in the mood" bullshit if you're going to jerk off to your new "waifu" minutes later. I have feelings too you piece of shit.

>>18248407

Eh, I appreciate your concern. But I've known her a really long time and am finally following through with the many promises I've made over the years to get to her. If I were moving there exclusively for me, it would do me good. I haven't traveled very far from where I was born.

>>18248424

Omg you do care

>>18248431
There's nothing more pathetic than being jealous of a woman that doesn't even exist right? I'm 100% fine with him finding other women attractive whether they're real or not. But now that it's getting in the way of our sex life, yes, I do care.

The absolute control you guys have over... literally FUCKING EVERYTHING is... it's impressive. It really makes me question if there truly is something supernatural about all of this.

Or the world is completely different than I ever could imagine. I hope you guys understand what this means to be me, right? How fucking badly I want to know how this is all possible. How badly I want to know... more.

>>18247450
I dont want to tho. We wouldnt be a good match. Im an ambicious workaholic and he is very carefree and a free spirit type of person. I only like those traits from a distance i guess,
Also how can you even trick someone into going out with you?

>>18247804
I know :( makes me feel even more lonely. As if im not going to find anyone that im compatible with and whom I can just be myself. Thank you anon

When I flew to mexico city that first time... I was puzzled why they all had blue lights on their roofs. For miles, every other building had blue lights.

That was for me, wasn't it?

When we were in the taxi ride home from the airport, half way there we had a police car tail us to her apartment. Was that an escort? The patrolling police cars all day long outside as well?

I really liked it in Mexico, I truly did. The food was fucking amazing and I could live off of churros and tacos al pastor forever.

I don't like going outside. I can never see myself enjoying the outdoors ever again. I DO NOT WANT TO GO OUTSIDE.

>>18243181
Fuck that

>>18243277
or buy some weights if the gym isn't your thing. do sit ups and lift a little every day if you can, really does do wonders.

>>18243524
best of luck

>>18243653
Deepest condolences
thats so fucking harsh.

honestly I'm getting ready to leave you and it will probably happen soon and I'm nervous and I'm excited and I'm living and I guess this is how it's going to go

Why didn't you leave a message? Why did you do it without saying anything? Were you afraid that I was going to change your mind? Was I wrong to have changed your mind in the past? Did it just make you more miserable?

I always thought you were talented. That one day you would overcome your depression and your anxiety and lead an awesome life.

I had this image of us two as old men still talking about music and video games. Now I can never talk to you again, and there's nobody who can fill that space. There is nobody that understands me or even knows me the way you did.

Fuck

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I fucking hate foreigners.
Thank god they stick to our capital city, but even here they piss me off. Just going out to the city angers me, because I fucking hate seeing all the non Finns litter our streets.
Even more, I hate the treasonous cunts that advocate for even more immigration and "multiculturalism". Bunch of lunatics the lot of them, that actively work against the interests of their own fucking people.

God fucking dammit I hope we can get rid of both of them them soon. I do not want to live in a future where my people will be minorities in our ancestral homeland.
/vent

How the fuck do I meet people? I don't want to be the creep looking for guys at a coffee shop, or at a bar. I don't want to be unwelcome. Why does nobody like me? Fuck.

>>18248643
I mean I'm so inspired and ready to meet people but there are just no fucking options for me. Nobody matches with me on Tinder, volunteering with people not even my age is in a month and - well fuck that's it. I'm going to die alone.

I want to sleep but there is so much work that needs to be done. Wish i had someone to say goodnight to

>>18248666
Goodnight, Satan.

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>>18248666
Guten nacht

>>18248641

Finns are really annoying, your culture is getting naked and setting wet huts on fire, you're the worst kind of people

can you guys give me a day or so advance for when things are going to happen? So I can properly bath and hygiene myself? Can I get a haircut before? What about hair removal for the rest of meeee.

Maria got her hair dyed the EXACT color I wanted for myself. Would it be weird if I just got the same haircut as her, dye and all? I want my hair to still be long though... it's kind of a wreck right now.

God I wish I knew what was going on. I hate this waiting...

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>>18248669
I don't care if we are annoying, let us be annoying in peace. I got no interest in bothering the rest of the world, I just want the rest of the world, and it's people, to leave us the fuck alone. Fucking foreigners bringing their problems and disgusting, violent cultures here.

Also, Saunas are maximum comfy. There is nothing better than just relaxing in a sauna with a bunch of mates, talking shit and drinking beer.

>>18248667
thanks :*

>>18248668
thanks anon, i would have said it in german but i have no idea how

When I posted that picture that looked like M with russian text saying "Princess"... I saw a post on here that said "I will fucking kill myself."

Was that ICL? Was she the one that also left the crying voice message "I want you..." ? And recent someone made a post about a jealous coke whore...

It has to be her. She hates M sooooooo much that it's hilarious.

I hope that she didn't really kill herself though. Same for R.

You guys really need to give me answers.

>>18248675
You sound like such a little bitch. kys.

>>18248705
No u.

aaaannnddddd

The reason why people got so hostile about RenRen, the reason why I should no longer think about her or chase her or have any desires for her... is because just like Black Wolf.. I'm not meant to mate with my fucking sister?

How is that even possible? How could she possibly be my sister? Do we have the same mother? Same father? Fucking HOW?

WORSE THOUGH...

IS WHY THE FUCK DID YOU FUCKING HOOK US UP TOGETHER? IF SHE WAS MY SISTER THEN WHY DID YOU PUT US TOGETHER? WHY DID YOU MAKE ME FUCK MY SISTER?

How could I have EVER even remotely think that she would be related to me? She lived in Mexico, looks mexican/asian, and just... how? Why? The fuck is wrong with you people?

Did she know we were siblings? She had to, she was in on this and if she knew she did so knowing this?

Why am I the only person in the fucking world that doesn't know what the fuck I am?

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I used to watch Adventure Time and laugh at how the Earl of Lemongrab went crazy when things didn't go his way.

Now I understand him. And it makes me lose sleep.

Its not like I'll actually ever lose my shit and stab my oneitis because she won't be with me romantically. But dealing with my unnaceptance towards it has been real hard. It's even harder to do so because of my overreactive being that laughs at the walls when she sends me hearts but wishes for the world to end when she doesn't initiate anything in a second-intentions-free manner. All of that stops me from being chill with boredom, and fuels a whole new level of overanalyzing in an effort to form an interpretation of her sayings where I have a chance to make the turn from friend to lover.
If possible I'll go to a party with her. Maybe seeing her as a wingwoman will make me stop overthinking.

I think I need to find something to do, maybe become better at drawing, I don't know. Satisfaction will come, I hope.

What the fuck?

Why was the 25+ thread pruned and blatant troll threads left to fester?

So let me get this straight.

Renee cheated on me, got pregnant, and then still went out drinking every night and did drugs so now her child is literally retarded?

So who is the father here?

Also, I get it. I'm fat. How about you faggots start giving me answers instead of playing this retarded as fuck game which STRESSES ME THE FUCK OUT? WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING TO FUCKING DO SO I'M NOT BORED OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND? WHY NOT GIVE ME MY FUCKING MEDICATIONS? HOW ABOUT YOU STOP FUCKING DRUGGING ME WITH THC AND OTHER BULLSHIT THAT FUCKS WITH MY WEIGHT AS WELL?

I fucking hate you all. There is no forgivng what you're doing to me. You're all fucking terrible people.

Natalie, I can't stop thinking about you. I really tried, butit just didn't work. I never usually admit such feelings to myself and usually they go away. But not you. You're always at the back of my head and my heart.
I'm pretty sure I'll never be what you're looking for. I'll never be strange or "broken" or "damaged" enough. But if you ever tire of those wasted fucks, and you find a little spot for me in your heart, give me a sign even daft old me understands and let's give this a try.

Why do you ignore me all the time, then claim you like being friends? It feels like you only do things with me when you have no one else

Also no I don't want to have sex with a girl that has a penis. Do you guys understand that I like girl bits? If she was born a guy but had a surgery to be a girl I would be ok with that. As long as she had the proper bits. That's not a bad thing, its just not something I would be into.

I do not want anyone to put anything in my mouth or butt. I have a very very bad relationship with my asshole ok? Whatever the fuck is wrong with my stomach, be it crohn's disease, IBS, or fucking cancer it has absolutely wrecked my digestive tract. I've had fucking hemorrhoids since I was a teenager. DO YOU THINK THAT'S FUN? Just thinking about taking a shit makes me want to fucking kill myself. The stomach pains, the cramps, feel like a fucking bayonet being twisted in my intestines. It's agonizing. Doesn't matter if it's solid or liquid, having to shit 3-4 times just in the morning while going through those pains is the fucking worst.

So thinking about someone putting their dick in my ass makes me want to vomit. For fuck's sake, having anyone even TOUCH my stomach or butt makes me so uncomfortable I want to vomit.

Tinder is still an unknown entity to me, and yet people here treat it like an everyday normal thing.

Then again, I'm pretty much a shut-in.

>>18249399
Don't lose sleep m8, people here are the reason its dying off.

>>18246835
Yep...

>>18246334
Awww... I'm sure there is one special person there that loves you...

I just don't understand what her problem is then. Why the fuck would she cheat on me? Is she really as fucked up as I thought then? How many times? With how many people?

Did she never consider our relationship real because... well... she was paid for it? She spent that entire time faking literally everything?

What about her art then? How the fuck can she even look at her paintings without feeling absolutely disgusted with herself? They are so similar to mine...

Is that what the post that said "I paid the cheap whore $400 and she's such a slut she went down to $200 easily the next time" was about? When I tried to find that post again you guys actively started closing my windows. I know which days it was posted even but you guys got them deleted from the archive.

What about the Elliot Rogers shit?

All those times she asked me "Am I psychopath?" was because she knew she was pregnant and still kept talking to me. Why, though? Why would she keep talking to me if she didn't give a fuck about me? Was it just for the attention? For the fame? For the money? Is she a straight up psychopath?

You guys realize I will never be able to trust another human being ever again, right? I will never start a new relationship until I hire a fucking PI to do a thorough background check on the girl. I don't want to keep being manipulated, fucked with, and used anymore. I fucking hate this. I hate all of you for doing this to me.

I just wanted to love and be loved in return.

Why are you doing this to me?

Can we please end this already? I don't want to wait until june 4th.

I'm sorry it's not the fucking 60s where "some elbow grease and a spit-shine" or whatever dumb shit could land anyone a job! I'm sorry you moved us up to the middle of fucking nowhere and there's ten times as many people as jobs! I'm sorry you raised a piece of shit and never tried to teach me anything about work or responsibility until now! Just leave me the fuck alone and let me enjoy my stupid video games until I decide to hang myself, you backwards fucking moron!

I just want to fucking die. I'm sick of this shit. There is no end to it.

It wouldn't be so bad if it were just bad luck but it's 100% people fucking with. People are going out of their fucking way to fuck with me and there is nothing I can do about it.

Except kill myself to end it.

Fuck all of you.

I hope you go through with your cops arresting me so I can fucking charge them with a knife and I get shot to death.

Fuck all of you.

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

I FUCKING HATE EVERYONE

I just want snugs. I just want to forget the world exists. I want to forget everything I've learned. I just want to be loved...

You're not mine anymore since you left me because supposedly you were in a "weird place".

Soon you'll be sucking new dicks.

But I'm ok with this.
Because I know you won't find anyone who will love you that much unconditionally.

And you will come back to me, even if it's only for emotional support.

But it will be too late

All I asked for this entire time to help me get through this game was my medication. I would stop taking everything else if I just had adderall to clear my mind and help me focus for work.

But no, you stupid fucks think adderall is the same as crystal meth. What kind of fucking retard thinks that? They SERIOUSLY need to do some research if they truly believe those two drugs are one in the same.

40mg of adderall a day is not going to ruin my fucking life. In fact, it's going to make my life livable.

No, instead you would rather have me smoke weed, drink alcohol, and take fucking xanax instead.

It's clear the only reason why you WON'T give me my medication is because it actually helps me. That's the only fucking reason. Because you are fucking assholes that want me to suffer on purpose thinking it builds character or whatever fucking bullshit you dumbfucks believe.

Patting your selves on the back, saying stupid shit like "look how much you've grown!" while I'm fucking on the brink of killing myself. You had to take away my fucking rope even.

WOW. GOOD JOB DUMBASSES. YOU RUINED SOMEONES LIFE.

I'm so alone, I hate it. I feel so worthless, why has no one ever loved me? Whats wrong with me? I wish I had the courage kill myself

I'm finally getting bored of /adv/. Thank fucking goodness.

You have officially made me hate my mother as well.

Lying and manipulating someone is not what good people do.

>>18249494
Where ya gonna go m8

My anger comes from you cunts refusing to end this. Refusing to just give me straight fucking answers. Refusing to give me just... one good fucking thing to help me through this.

Yoiu're just making me hate people. Like, genuinely hate people.

If it was Bunny making all those disgusting posts like "I'm going to fuck as many girls as I can so I don't have a hard time getting it up when I meet you :3" // "I want to fuck you in the ass." and other shit like that... I don't want anything to do with her.

I'm sick and fucking tired of people putting up a front when they are with me. I'm sick of people being so fucking two faced.

You all know me. You all know that who I am to your face is who I truly am. I never, EVER pretend to be something I'm not.

My mom mentioned "I don't know how you and dad didn't get sick." and I asked her what she meant and she just repeated herself.

So that makes me wonder... did he pay Vicky, Renee, or Iris for sex? I know he fucked around with one of them at the hospital and I have a feeling it's Renee with how he reacted with it all. She fucking still called the house before as well at least once that I know of.

Then the hints that she has fucking AIDS. So I guess that's what my mom was talking about.

You're all fucking dead to me. I want to leave NOW. Like... RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

there's your fucking show assholes. I hope I made you expend a shitload of time, energy, and resources to get it.

and you, I don't know what the fuck you are or if you're just here to be another person that fucks with me by talking about vaguely similar shit, but if I ever learn who any of you people are I'm going to hunt you down.

File: this is boring.gif (491KB, 245x245px) Image search: [Google]

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doesn't it ever get boring? cause this is really boring and predictable for me.

what you are doing is morally bankrupt, emotionally reprehensible, and overall an affront to the gods. may you live in interesting times and may the gods bless me with you fucking up and giving me the opportunity to kill you all.

>>18249598
and all I want is to go home.

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>>18249571
Jace Allen Wallace
638 leopold st
huntington IN 46750

>>18249592
Incredibly fucking boring.

FUCKING END THIS FUCKING SHIT.

>>18249607
who's hair is that?

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>>18249622
It's Jace! Wakkawa! Eve!

Can I be honest?

I'm not very... educated in the cunnilingus. It's not so much that I don't like doing it, I just never had much practice.

It makes me nervous with upcoming events. With this girl, oh me oh my how I so fucking want to do it too. Like, a lotttttt.

a lottttt.

>>18248455
It's all in the testosterone ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>18249768
how does that even make sense?

>>18249551
>>18249571
>>18249543
>>18249524
wtf is happening jesus

>>18249779
Dude same

Long story short, asshole husband just told me to fuck off after telling him my family had an accident and 3 died, got a call telling me my aunt is going to survive and went to tell him the good news. He literally told me, get out! I don't want any of this! They are dead they are not dead, tell me when you know. I question my life choices so much for being with such a cruel person and still somehow finding reasons to be with him. I guess at the end I do need to have some balls and make a decision regarding my future. I am not complaining, just venting. I am already stressed out for several things and on top this! Fuck you 2017! You are the worst year ever! Fuck you fuck you fuck you

not too long ago I realized some of the people I've been friends with for years are in gangs. I knew they sold drugs, lots of drugs, but not that they would kill someone for me.
I have shooters. If you told a younger, socially retarded version of me that I'd end up having shooters and getting put on guest lists for sold out rap shows I'd think you're lying. My life is just a lot of scenarios that I'll never understand

I have so many questions. So so so so many questions.

It's cruel the silence you are giving me. What's the point in playing this stupid game? Seriously, what the fuck is the point? People's entertainment? This is boring. This is incredibly boring. Wouldn't it be more entertaining if I was out doing things with people? Or... even by myself?

This hurts you know. It hurts a lot...

>>18249779
>>18249781
oh shut the fuck up.

>>18249800
Pfffffffffft... You are hilarious and in urgent need of medical care.

Why do I can't resist the urge to tell someone's secret to anybody?

>>18249806
What I need are answers.

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Do you think denying these things has any effect on me at all? It's mildly annoying at most.

Holy shit. He's dead. Holy fuckin shit.

>>18249838
Who died?

Also so like, is my dad really trying to fucking kill me? Poison me? Electrocute?

he seemed really... off that night I left in January. When all my food smelled like rank ass was added to it.

>>18249838
No he isn't... text me now.

>>18249790
This year is not over yet! I bet something good will happen sooner or later. I am sending good vibes to you!

>>18249892
>my family died
>lol have my good vibes
holy shit

>>18249790
I'm so sorry.

Why am I... orange?

It's confusing.

All of this is confusing.

I want it to be over already.

Suck my dick I'm a shark.

Sad. When the. World is full of idiots, thanks for ruining the gene pool please eat a shit load of cake and keep spitting out children who are directionless, thanks again for flushing our world down the toilet, ps you're lucky I keep my lip buttoned down, the sonic assaults from my mouth would lacerate your ears.

My urge to just drop everything and live a nomadic lifestyle increases by the day.
>School isn't working out, only possibly useful skill is singing, but getting into music is too hit or miss to be reliable
>Closest thing I've had to a relationship in 4 years is going to join the marines in August
>College has become too pacifying to ever make progress for me in both the professional as well as the social, since I have more cobservative views
>I've lived in the same town my whole life, and only about 3 major changes have been made to it in the past 20 years. It feels like this town has been stuck in 2005.
>WW3 might be starting soon, and I have a 99% chance to be fried by nukes since I live off of the east coast, and I basically have no incentive to just stay here waiting for that to happen
>I have $40000+ in savings that's just being wasted by my own incompetence
>My cousin who's only 4 years older than me just got married, and there is literally no wife material for miles, so I'm kind of paranoid about that
>My sister bosses me around both at work and at home, so I feel like i've lost a lot of control in my life. I know what you're thinking, but 99% of job opportunities are at restaraunts around here. Plus, my sister is almost impossible to cooperate with and is extremely stubborn, so I feel she isn't worth the effort
Now you can call me lazy and incompetent for not being good at school, you can call me selfish for leaving behind my family, you can call me a coward for not standing up to my sister, which I have, and you can call me a goddamned idiot for essentially wanting to become some glorified travelling hobo and most likely get killed by god only knows what, but I don't care. With what could be coming in the next few years if not less, can you really blame me for wanting to get away from it all, at least until the world is straightened out a bit more? IF it gets straightened out and not flattened, that is.

>>18247568
Op here I'm not a drug addict or alcoholic. And I'm just talking about guys I meet casually, talk to a couple times... I try to keep good boundaries but I get misunderstood. I'm not trying to manipulate anyone, I'm just wanting to socialize and maybe meet someone I actually like.

You only think about yourself, always saying you are the man of the house and that you are taking care of me. The reality is that you are not! You are an asshole, a complete and total narcissist, you are so very cruel! You are deciding to end up alone yourself! You always ask and ask and ask, I am not your fucking servant and I am fucking tired to be ridiculously nice with everybody, specially you. Now you are angry because I told you a thruth... You are an asshole! And you are waiting for me to say sorry! Not anymore! You can go and fuck yourself.

I don't know if I should stand you up tonight and ghost you or keep trying. I'm so close to giving up on you. You're perfect. But the time you talked about how you know what you want and you'll make your move if you wanted to with a guy you like rings in my head every night.

The girl I loved died in that operating room.

Her heart still beats, her lungs still breath, and her mouth still speaks.

But she died.

>>18249959
Omg, omg. Let's get fried together.

>>18249867
if you're not dead then guess my favorite color and I will text you

been anxious as fuck over a thing

I don't want to quit just because of anxiety

but I also just don't know if I even want it

but then again I don't know if me suddenly not caring is the depression talking

like I was excited a few weeks ago, like, i felt ALIVE

but was were those feelings real or were they just born from me deluding myself about what to expect from the thing

like maybe there was never anything to be gained from this, no reason to care about it, and all I did was make up shit that appealed to me

are my fucking mental problems getting in the way of something that might bring genuine happiness? or is this whole thing a waste of time, just me pretending it's something productive?