Alcoholism and Dating

>>18241096
>Any of you women or men have a problem with booze?

Yes

>I am courting this girl who has an "appreciation" for drinking.

She is almost certainly an alcoholic. Granted there are varying degrees of the disease, some more easy to deal with than others.

But she's probably addicted to alcohol, sorry senpai.

>courting
this aint the 1500s mate..

>>18241096

Sounds like my kind of girl, bro. Love a girl that can drink and have fun without turning into a fucking mess that I have to babysit.

That said, yeah, I'm an alcoholic. A very high functioning alcoholic, that's about 6 weeks sober right now. It's a tough line to toe for most, and it can really wear on people (which is why I made the effort to quit for a while). Two of my friends who seemed "functional" most of my life are now experiencing health problems and career problems, despite being two of the smartest people I know. Their lives, and relationships, are in shambles - and booze is a heavily contributing factor.

But y'know, it's not easy to just label someone an alcoholic, or determine how it's going to affect their life, or your relationship. Give her a chance, and get an understanding of what she does with booze, and how comfortable you can be around that.

I know that when I'm in a relationship, I drink less, because I don't want to be judged by my girlfriend. I know that my dad has had alcohol problems, but because my mom keeps pressure on him to monitor it, he doesn't abuse it like my grandfather did, and I do.

I'll stick around to answer questions.

>>18241119
What would you say are warning signs to look for when with a partner who is drinking?

>>18241096
>going to class drunk and generally partying most days of the week.
Living on campus I literally met a girl today and she told me she had a period while fucking a stranger. This is the kind of girl you're looking at. Porked on the norm by any Chad there. Just so you know.

>It seems to all be in the past though.
This phase will CERTAINLY never show itself again, you're right OP. It didn't come to this because it's a primal desire.

>What are the warning signs I should look for that this might turn into a problem?
If you worry about her health (come on man, you're not even dating her yet) then you'll find out when you get closer how often she drinks, and you should know how often she should be drinking. When she has a lot of guy friends on top of this? Red flag.

>>18241121

Warning signs that they're an alcoholic, or warning signs that they're a "bad" alcoholic?

I know that I personally make everything an excuse to go do some kind of drinking activity, but in that "fun" kind of way. Like "oh, let's go to the lake and paddleboard! But of course you can't go paddleboard without bringing a cooler of beers." Or "breakfast? Sure, but let's make it BRUNCH and get some mimosas!"

Most people that are really close to me say they can't tell the difference between me when I'm drinking and sober, so a lot of times, I've probably primed myself with 3-5 beers before you even see me. I'll sneak off to the bar and grab a shot when you least expect it too.

But I'm always friendly, it's never caused me a problem at work, I've never been an asshole to a girlfriend, I've never gotten into law trouble, all of that kind of stuff. I just enjoy a comfy buzz and laughs with friends. Everything is more fun to me when drunk.

Ever seen "Fun Bobby" in Friends? I'm like that. If you want to know problem signs, I can go on about my friends.

>>18241134
>If you want to know problem signs, I can go on about my friends.
I want the problem signs. I've done things you've done like slam a tall boy before a date to take the edge off. I think I have some form of alcoholism, but I don't drink more than five beers at a time due to a very low tolerance.

i just biked 2 miles in the pouring rain to get beer

>>18241138

I think the biggest problem sign is a complete refusal that there's anything wrong with how much you're drinking. A characteristic lack of control in things like driving drunk, or drinking until you're blacked out all the time and not learning from your decisions. Or, not accepting that the party ends, but will be there again tomorrow.

Take my friend K. She went to an Ivy League school, worked in high-tier finance, made more than $150,000 a year, and she loved her booze. No problem with that, right? But there'd be nights where she was sitting at the bar, drinking vodka tonics interspersed with shots, staying out later and later, pushing her boyfriend to keep going and keep the party up. She'd show up to work a little late all the time - clearly just showered, no makeup on, worn out. She got by because she did good work, but she got even more cocky. She'd skip out sometimes and drink, get cocktails during breaks, all that kind of shit. This and some other things led to her losing her job.

But with her boyfriend? The booze clearly took priority. She was always drinking, and then she'd turn mean. If he tried to tell her what to do, or maybe that they should take it easy that night, she'd double up, and insist she didn't have a problem.

At the end of the day it boils down to the same problems you have in any relationship - a person's refusal to compromise or hold the other person in any regard.

>>18241141
Was it good beer at least?