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TL:DR: My Dog died today. Am an asshole and how to help my kids grieve?
So /adv/ my dog died this morning (pic related). I had her for 14 years and she outlived several girlfriends, a few dead-end jobs, a few houses in a few different cities, and eventually saw the birth of my three children.
During the last year or so she had been having issues. She began to grow small tumors, lose teeth, and lose bladder control. My gf of eight years was never a dog person (allergies) and seemed jealous of her at times. That combinedwWith a family and a job that I have to put a lot of time into, I frankly began to lose patience with the dog. This morning when my kids came to tell me she wouldn't wake up, I felt a little bit of fear that she was dead and a touch of grief, but also a bit of relief. I bagged her up, took her to the vet, and allowed them to bury her.
At this point I haven't cried at all and I worry that my family may realize that I am a bit callous when it comes to death. I spent time in Iraq and saw people die, blown up, etc. and I tend to approach all emotional things rather callously. Death is a part of life and my outlook is that I never truly expect anything good to last. Even if that wasn't the case I have never been an emotionally expressive person. It's a character flaw I suppose. While I acknowledge this, at the same time I want my children to know it's okay to grieve and they don't have to be a robot like me. I tried to tell them that, but not sure if I did a good job. My question I suppose it two parts.
One, am I a callous, asshole devoid of emotion?
and
Two, how do I help my kids display normal emotion that I obviously don't possess?
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>>18240274
>normal emotion
I havent been to iraq, but a lot of people are like you (me included).
If you dont feel like mentaly collapsing over dead dog, why do you think your kids would be different?
There is nothing to talk about. You and your kids will be fine.
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>>18240274
Nah, you might be subconsciously hiding the emotions or rejecting anything that could cause said emotions. I don't think a human could completely become emotionless. Just try to connect to your kids more, bond with them or at the very least help them bond with you. Say I love you and all that good stuff. Ask them about what they did at school and give them advice.
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>>18240299
I suppose. I just see a lot of people who get very wrapped up in their pets and who would be devastated if their animal died. My mother for instance was a mess for weeks when her dog died. I got none of that.
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>>18240274
Nope ur not an asshole im very similar emotionally and everyone grieves differently anyway. As far as the kids go im sorry ï cant rly offer you any advice. Have u talked to ur wife about this? Maybe she could take the ĺead in this situation.
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>>18240320
Yeah, she wasn't really close to the dog so I don't think it's the same. Also, I feel it's important for kids to take cues from both parents and I think they watch both to see how to react to things. My youngest keeps asking when the dog is coming back from the doctor and I keep responding with patience that she isn't and that she's dead, but that doesn't feel like the best approach.
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There was this this lady who slept with her large, pet snake every night and treated it like a kid. One day she noticed her snake had stopped eating so being a responsible pet owner with an unhealthy fixation on a snake, she took it to the vet to find out what was wrong. The vet did his thing, looked the pet over, and asked the typical questions including about its living conditions. The owner went over how she lavished love and attention on the snake and described the daily routine. Eventually the sleeping arrangements came up as part of the discussion. After learning on this, the vet determined the snake was starving itself so that it could eventually eat its master while she slept. I have no idea what this has to do with anything.
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>>18240839
That story is fake you know
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