Growing up

Growing up is what you put. It's realizing you aren't going to be 100% happy 100% of the time. Life is compromise. But compromise does not always mean it's shit. It means you give up some of the smaller things in order to get the larger things.

Yeah, life is unfair. There will always be people that get shit handed to them and those who have to work harder to get the same things. But guess what? That doesn't mean it's IMPOSSIBLE to get those things.

Yes, we would all have liked to be Paris Hilton and inherit her billions from daddy without having to do a thing. Doesn't mean that's the ONLY way to be a billionaire.

Growing up is being responsible for your own actions and choices, and not obsessively comparing your life to other's. Success means something different to every one of us. One person's success is not another persons.
You have to take responsibility man. If you give up, you're not being responsible. There really aint shit that you can't do if you didn't just work at it. It might come easier to other people, sure, but that doesn't matter. It only matters what YOU do.
So what are you going to do?

>>18239213
>priveledged

Careful on that word... Its all relative. Doesnt matter how much better they have it or how much money they have it. They can still have problems even if they seem trivial to you.

You can never know what theyve gone through. Also if you have clean running water, a roof over your head, a job, and had any form of education, youre already in the world elite by far. Makes it pretty fuckin silly for you to say someone else has priveledge and you dont.

>accept lifes unfair.

I also think you seriously misunderstood this. It doesnt mean "accept misery faggot!!!" it means not to worry about things. Brush it off and keep trying.

As in if you for example havent accepted it, you might fly off the bat and freakout over shit you cant control and let it destroy your life.

Whereas if for example you have accepted it and changed your attitude, then when bullshit comes your way you shrug and say "welp. Thats life." and instead of having an emotional break down you strive to be better and improve your situation.

Id also dare to say the fact you think you actually can be pissed off and freak about shit you have no control over does make you quite priveledged and even entitled...

>>18239320
>Growing up is [...] not obsessively comparing your life to other's
But how? It comes so natural to me that I can't even fathom stopping doing that.

>It might come easier to other people, sure, but that doesn't matter.
This part is an especially sore spot: how can it not matter? How can I be expected to put effort in something, knowing there are others who have it (way) easier? How can that not lead to a life of begrudgery?
I don't understand

>>18239342
Insecurity and mental illness most likely.
Let me ask, are you young? If you're still within your mid 20's or younger, this is pretty normal. You learn to stop giving a fuck later in life. You're still in puberty so you have this warped perception of others, once you're done with that hell you start to put more focus on yourself.

If you are outside that age range, then again, mental illness probably. Go talk to someone.

>How can it not matter?
Because it just doesn't. That's their life and this is yours. Again, you put too much focus on anything but yourself, and this is usually a defense mechanism of sorts because you don't want to take responsibility for your own actions and choices. You can do anything those other people do, you're just scared to do it. Or lazy. Or both.


Again, once you learn to stop giving a fuck about others and focus on your own life and your own unique issues, this will all go away friend.

>>18239336
>They can still have problems even if they seem trivial to you
>Silly for you to say someone else has priveledge and you dont
>You shrug and say "welp. Thats life."

I rationally know these things, but there are times when these thoughts hold no sway over my state of mind, and I'm just overrun with an inexpressible disappointment.

>>18239360
So much this.

Its an early 20s or younger something or a mentally unstable thing if youre so unaware of the options.

I have a university education (which i worked 2 jobs year round without any days off for before you tell me i had it easy).. And that degree fell through..

I wound up with a job i love and im making 2k a week after tax with a job that requires a grade 10 education.. Literally.

I also never blamed anyone for my problems, and kept looking for any and every option to make my life good.

I work alongside people from many backgrounds, some ex criminals and some people born well below the poverty line, some university educated.

And none of them got there by being bitter little panzies who compared their lives to others and acted like they were so down trodden.

I dont want to shame you here. Just trying to show you youre being a bit of a fucking moron. And thats ok. You can be better.

Also as this anon suggested if its really a problem you need a doctor because somethings off in your system.

>im an industrial carpenter if you were curious...

>>18239370
Ok. I get that. And it is frustrating sometimes. Noones strong 24/7. Work on your situation.

But bitterness is taking you nowhere.

>>18239374
This is me. sorry. I read it over and it sounds angry. Its not. My wording comes through that way in text.

Trying to be tough love here..

>>18239360
You're right.
My years of avoidance (in fear of failure) have become a habit, wherefore laziness was born, and I'm also scared of changing my life patterns, both because I have a low tolerance for exertion, and because I fear that will eventually lead to a significant part of me being somewhat destroyed: I'm afraid I will lose myself.

I don't know what to do with this.

>>18239381
>Work on your situation.
What would you suggest I do?

>>18239395
Well i need more info. Im full of advice man. Some of it good some of it terrible but if i knew why youre so "underpriveledged" maybe i can help...

If its financial boy do i have you covered if youre willing to do a bit of hard work.

>>18239384
I feel ya dude. What you're going through is far more universal than you think. Again, I'm in my early 20's. I'm a college student. I'm far better off than most students I know. My parents were wealthy enough to basically send me to school without me having to pay hardly a thing. The only thing I'm expected to make money for is gas and food. I've got a pretty comfy life compared to others and I'm totally aware of that, and I'm not trying to brag or anything.
My point is that I'm probably one of those more privileged people out there, and yet, I'm still taking the same struggles you are. I'm scared of changing my life too drastically too. I'm scared of finding a job after college, I'm scared of disappointing my parents who gave me such a wonderful gift of education, I'm scared I'll end up alone. I'm afraid of a lot of shit too.
Yes, I understand that I probably have more safety nets than others, but life is still moving forward. Regardless of where you came from, you cannot just stop the world from turning. You have to keep moving. It's scary, it sucks, but the rewards are coming.

So long as you can continue walking towards tomorrow, you're gonna be ok in the end. As I said, I think the most important thing is, assuming you too are in this same stage of life, it's temporary. I took an adolescent psychology course as part of my degree and I'll tell ya, it did make me feel a whole lot better. It's like sneaking a peek of the picture of the whole puzzle you're piecing together. You start to see that "huh, everything DOES fit into place eventually". Everything that's happening is not unique to you. Everyone does it. If you stick it out, you'll come out on the other side and it'll all be behind you. You just gotta keep moving.

>>18239384
just fucking meditate and all your problems will be solved.

place your mind on one thing, like your breath for as long of a time as you possibly can. then passively notice when your mind moves away/wanders from your breath... then remember/return to your focus (your breath)

or use a mental visual stimulus to attach your mind/anchor your mind to something stronger... like everytime you breathe in, waves from the beach come in, every time you breathe out, waves from the beach get taken back into the ocean.

do that and you will see how FUCKING STUPID YOU SOUND

you will see how you follow your mind constantly, instead of you just being you.

suffer now and meditate any chance you can or suffer later and follow your mind where it chooses to take you during any emotional moment


also focus creates wandering as proof by no wandering exist if no focus exist, so focus to dismiss wandering........

this is proof by, thinking about goals.... if your goal going to the super market is to buy chocolate milk, then everything else in the store becomes irrelevant and you don't want it, but it is only when your goal is to buy chocolate milk that all the other food in the store become irrelevant......

same thing with a focus, you cant see your mind wandering until you have a focus (focus = place your mind on something for as long of a time as you possibly can)

so focus to dismiss wandering

>>18239409
Honestly, when you suggested I'd "work on my situation", I assumed you meant something to help me better take the frustration.
Is this what you meant?

Also, I'm curious as to what your financial advice is.

>>18239423
by the way I am a registered nurse student. I graduated from university of Miami with a bachelors in biology. I am also a licensed practical nurse. and will be a registered nurse in 3 months and am married to a black woman with a gorgeous ass. I love meditation

>>18239433
Oh. The other anon said meditation.. That helps.. A doctor helps.. But if your problem is in fact related to your life actually being difficult then its fixing that that will help you.

Financial advice, basically: get a trade skill. That includes but isnt refined to construction.

If youre not way overweight to the point of unhealthy, then id strongly recommend an apprencticeship as a carpenter ironworker or plumber or electrician. Go union. High pay high demand and a fun job.

If not, then learn something you can sell. Get to a library and take out books (BOOKS!!! internet research does fuck all for you!!) on home businesses and entrepreneurship and learn. It will become less indimidating and "undoable" the more you learn.

You could literally go buy a carpet cleaner and offer to clean peoples cars in their driveway for a reasonable price. If its in demand youll make better money on less hours.

You could also learn to do web design or program and develop apps and sell your services online. A lot of companies just outsource that shit now. There are websites you can go where a project will be posted and youll be paid to just fulfill their request.

You can even buy a shit tonne of cheap stuff from china and sell them at a mark up on ebay.

i happen to have worked for a pest control company when job prospects were low, learned how to do it, then i started the business, advertised on kijiji (yes.. Kijiji).. I got flooded with emails from customers.. Thousands of dollars in a week.

Then i had to shut down the company because i got called in to work on a huge project for my day job which is guaranteeing that kind of money constantly for awhile, so i opted for that before committing to any customers.

I dont know if it was a demand one off, but my First attempt to start a company flew off to a great start because i offered something people wanted.

Capitalism works!!! Make it work for you!!!

>>18239433
>>18239466

Comment too long. Had to remove this fact.

I made no money with my business so i didnt want to exagerate to you because i want to be honest and help you. But the explanation is there.

And the tl;dr point was:

Theres a million and a half financial opportunities you can do you just dont know about.

Read books.

>>18239466
VERY TRUE.

actually wish I would have done something along the line of trade skill than medicine

I'd be having fun a lot sooner

>>18239474
my wife's father is a pipefitter.

went to school for 6months makes 2k a week.... been doing it for 30 years

>>18239486
Yeah.

As i said. Im uni educated too. But i never loved my job or life until i put on a tool belt. Im loving it.

If you want to try it why not? Even if you already have your nurse training, a good poker player knows not to chase pots just because hes committed.

>>18239466
Gonna have to second this.

Work night shift stocking grocery. These electricians have been coming in the past month to install a new security system. They do jack shit in comparison to us and are likely being paid 10-15 times as much along with a bunch of benefits I'd have to guess. Good-ass deal. Kind of silly how much more of a financially-comfortable life you can achieve for yourself if you get up and do something with a little bit of thought behind it.
In any case, maybe their other projects are way more physical, but I doubt it.

>>18239497
Same anon who said this.

They probably are making insane money and benefits.

As i said i make 2k a week. I have worked way harder to make a quarter of that.

I am most definitely not worth that money, nor is the amount of work i do..

all right bitches i'll see you all later, have to go to class

look into my meditation thing, I am literally care free 100% of the day no matter what bullshit flies my way, and I have a lot of shit going my way..........

regardless getting involved in a trade is single best thing you can do if in poverty and are well put together, in the case of not being well put together, fucking meditate why wont you?

>>18239360
Wouldn't this be implying that other people's lives have no affect at all on your own? That's a bit silly, considering the obvious things like making friends, established relationships and obtainingjobs/ career. Everything you do publicly highly depends upon how others treat and react to your situation.

>>18239506
>>18239515

Yea I'm going to have to assume the only drawback to going into a trade is that you could be injured and if so, you'll have to take time off most likely (i.e can't work from home, or be fine sitting down at an office desk, etc.)

Nonetheless, such a great opportunity.

>>18239552
You could be injured in a car accident too.
Same deal

Also a good way its been put to me is theres a thousand ways to die at home. You dont take a radio in the shower to jam out while you clean. You could die. But you know better.

Same on the job site. There are new hazards, but learn them and respect them and youre fine. Im a scaffolder. We die A LOT compared to other trades. Still none of my co workers dead or injured. Several in car accidents though.

Also there are benefits and worker compensation if you are injured.

>>18239466
>get a trade skill
I actually worked as a plumber's assistant (albeit for a very short time), but both he and I didn't see it actually working. Other people - who know me - have also said that I'm probably not "cut" for this kind of labor, but rather for more "intellectual" work, so to speak.
I don't know if that's true, or if there even is such a thing as "being cut" for a determinate job. Would you still recommend it in light of this?

>>18239591
Id keep trying. One persons opinion isnt all declared.

Or read the rest of the post and try another thing.

>>18239521
Yes and no. Just because your buddy got a promotion and you didn't doesn't mean you'll never get a promotion. Is what I'm saying.
Now, your coworker getting a promotion might mean that your likelyhood of getting a a promotion because then the position has been filled, but even still, doesn't mean your life is shit or you'll never work your way up yourself.
That's just being a sore loser if you're gonna piss and moan that someone else got a promotion over you. That's ignoring your responsibility for it. Instead of that, you should be thinking "What do I need to do better to deserve the next promotion? What did this dude do better than me and how can I improve?"

I disagree on that publicly shit though, because unless you're behaving in some radical way to the public eye, your credibility as a person is not taking any significant hit. If you take a shit in the public fountain and that makes the news, yeah, you're probably not gonna get a job. You fail at flirting with a chick at a bar, literally nobody cares. Nobody is gonna remember or know about it, because that kind of shit is such a common everyday occurance.
Be a normal person, and your reputation is fine.

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constant struggle? are you retarded?

are you mad because a kid was born with blue eyes and you weren't? it makes no sense, you can be 10000000% happy and enlightened with whatever you have, you literally L I T E R A L L Y don't need anything to be happy, just focus on the moment, don't be afraid to lose your thoughts, they are worthless most of the time and only make you feel pain.

It's harder than it sounds but it's totally doable and will bring you infinite peace and happiness.

To grow up is to realise the saddest truths about life.

>>18239213
Be practical.

Does the realization that some dumb undeserving fuck and his kids and their grandkids can live on money his grandparents stole and never have to do anything they don't want to change anything for your own life? Your situation remains the same and bitching about it is pointless, while you could've improve it instead of focusing on others.