Sexual abuse

I think it happens to a lot of people and most of them are either too embarassed to ever say anything or they think people won't believe them. But most of the ones I know are horribly depressed and drink or use drugs, have borderline/histrionic personality disorder, so I haven't heard about many people who it happened to that just went on with their lives, showing no signs of trauma, except that they feel a strong need to protect children.

I haven't been abused this way so I wouldn't know how to deal with these particular feelings of what I imagine to be a combination of shame, paranoia, and/or wanting to be vindicated.

>>18238675
How to deal with it is usually by asking a professional. If you have some ptsd reactions, I heard CBT can be pretty effective but I don't know personally anyone who did it.

>>18238721
Yes OP should get some golden goat too.

>>18238730
Marijuana?

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>>18238675
>How many of you were sexually abused as a child?
Oooh ME ME ME and like 90% of this chan
>As an adult with emotional problems, how should one start getting over past trauma of this sort?
Supress it because it happens to everyone and you're being a faggot to yourself if you let this ruin anything beyond that moment.
>How to deal with painful/repressed memories?
Literally envision a cliff and you pushing those heavy thoughts off the cliff.
i.e. simply do not think about it and stop before you even start.
>Are there any resources I could read?
There's a lot of self help books out there, honestly I would just put this behind and read books about how to be better to yourself and how to excell at life. Start at a new spot in your life, not where you think you are currently wallowing, but in a place where seemingly nothing is wrong.
>How many people have this happen and then never think about it directly?
A lot. And a lot.
My fiance, my ex, my fiance's sisters, many friends. I've surrounded myself with the people that only want good for themselves and so they are actively pursuing better and better things in life. A lot of the people I know are accomplished, like, they have a degree or two or are finishing graduate or post-grad, or have a decent job, or are even trying to have families, or are travelling, basically anything except focusing on the past and the negative. I'm there too. I have a great job and will obtain my license soon, have a great stable home environment, all stuff that you can work up to. It took me almost 3 years after I moved out of my parents' and to a different continent to get to the level of comfort I am at now.

>tl;dr
Pace yourself. Talk to a therapist or psychiatrist. Smoke some weed. Find a small hobby, something easy like macrame or caring for a new houseplant, or reading, or audio books (they're better than I thought). Take your mind off the past, I acted like nothing ever happened and it definitely worked for me.

Remember one of the biggest reasons that people do this to kids is because it happened to themselves. That's not to say they should be sympathized with - plenty of other people get hurt in life, and still manage to retain their dignity and values. If your life is affected by this trauma then they got what they wanted.

I and my cousing were raped by some fat, ugly woman when we were kids...

now I'm 30 and have never had a gf, or even kissed women outside my family. in fact, I had many opportunities, but I got scared...

>>18238811
Don't be like this, OP.
DON'T LET IT GET TO YOU AT THE DEEPEST LEVEL OR EVEN AT THE MOST SUPERFICIAL LEVEL. DON'T LET IT HAPPEN. DON'T LET IT RUIN YOUR LIFE.

>>18238811
>>18238816
that's not the whole story, t.b.h. . I'm not saying anything more, though

I think I was, but I can't recall it happening.

I don't like being touched
I don't like baggy or on the flip side tight clothes
I have fucked up sleep patterns (can't sleep at night and am sleepy during the day )
And lastly a massive sexual appetite since I was a teenager, and lot of sexual interest as a kid

>>18238845
So who do you think did it?

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Does it seem like I was molested?

I never liked being touched
I have very few memories before the age of 7 or so
My mom would make me see her naked in my early teens, which was disturbing then
She would sometimes say that I had frequent erections as a baby/toddler and that she 'didnt know what to do about it'
I have a memory of being ~3 and getting uncomfortable groin feelings and her reacting positively while looking at me
She was pretty unstable and left for a year or so when I was 9, but I lived with her later
She kicked me out at 17 for having an older girlfriend
I was always uncomfortable about my penis as a young kid, touching it nervously
One time when I was 6 I got a bad skin condition from not washing my groin because I didn't like touching there
I was a very serious and quiet kid
I felt very sexual starting around age 10, several years before puberty, and would masterbate
When pubes finally grew in, I was terrified and ripped them out so that I still have a slight bald spot
My mom would be abusive later when I was young teen, but not sexually.

Sorry for the blog post

I'm finishing my bachelor's degree and working out and feel generally better, but I felt pretty miserable for most of my childhood.

>>18238960
Opposite problem. Read Sex Without Shame by Alayne Yates, M.D.

>>18238991
Sorry, but what do you mean by 'opposite problem'?

I repressed it for a very long time, it seems. Memory has never been great for me but when it was told to me again, I was shocked not only that I had put it past me, but it was the perpetrator that revealed the memory.

For a good, long time, I had a semi-stable life with friends, girlfriends, jobs and hobbies, but once things started going down, things like that have become hard to forget again and get in the way like it would before, almost like a black magic spell.

Male 31.
Attempt of rape/molested around 9-10 years old.

What was worse than the actual experience, was the fact that my mom remained with him after I told her about it when I was 20. Which made me lose all if not most respect for her them. Made me wanna kill both her and her bf.

Years went by, they broke up (really because I told her it was either I go, or he goes) they had been on and off till I put my foot down about it.

We managed to forgive one another for a lot over the years. But I'm mostly dead inside as an adult. Falling in love made me even more fucked up after she left. We were way compatible. Old news now. Life goes on, I don't smoke, or drink, I haven't had sex in 9 years, oral in 7 years (which wasn't a fun experience at all).

All all can tell you is to forgive your abusers.. just forgive them, that you may have some peace of mind back.

Exercise, go running, eat right. Forgive people, because no matter how much suffering you endure, others are enduring hell, and one is not exempt from sin or error.

I was sexually abused as a child, I was too innocent and I don't remember the moment I realized what happened to me (probably years later).
The memory is not always there but when it appears it makes me question if all my deviances are attributed to it, if I'm broken or what, I feel shame into not being able to pretend I had a normal and nice childhood, wish I could rescue my child self but that can't happen.

My refugee for every source of anxiety is philosophy, I feel encouraged to maintain my own existence in service of the Good by my own belief.

>>18238675
I was molested at age 8 by another girl my age. She emotionally and psychologically blackmailed me into doing lots of shit I didn't want to do (smoking, sex, and shoplifting namely) the sex stuff she also physically forced me to do a couple of times too.
She moved away the following school year thankfully. I never knew how to handle what I went through, I think if it weren't for the smoking and shoplifting I probably would have told someone. I didn't really know what sex was or that what was happening in that aspect was inherently wrong, but I felt I couldn't talk about any of it or I'd get in trouble for the shoplifting.
Once I had gotten into 5th grade and got the shitty watered down american sex education, I could finally understand what exactly happened. Since the sex ed was such garbage, I spent the next year or so terrified I was pregnant (because all we were told was 'sex is touching genitals and sex makes you pregnant so don't do it') After I matured a bit more, I realized I was retarded and there was no way I was pregnant and just sitting on a growing lesbian baby for 4-5 years. But after that came this anxiety I had an STD, that I still sometimes get panics about to this day, despite being tested.

Around middle school I repressed the whole thing altogether. I just shut it out of my mind and it really welled up and boiled up inside of me. It gave me these underlying issues and irrational fear about all sex and intimacy, which I still deal with.
When I started college, that was when I finally came to terms with it on my own. I acknowledged what happened, I thought long and hard about it. It wasn't easy, and I did it solo. I only ever told 3 people about it my whole life, none were family though. But I'm much more open about it now, even if just with myself.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my story first, more to come with actual advice or help in the next post

>>18239137
Now every situation is different. Mine is actually pretty unique compared to most rape/assault cases so idk how much any of it will help.
The hardest part for me was due to the age of my attacker, it was hard for me to really blame her. So I instead blamed myself. Now, if your case was an actual adult knowingly doing something shitty, you can def put the blame on them. It might be hard, but you have to remember you're not at fault. It's easier said than done, but you just have to get to a point where you can rationalize yourself as the victim. That took me a long time to do. Especially as I got older and realized the only way another 8 year old girl would probably have that kind of sexual knowledge was because she was likely just mimicking something that had happened to her. Probably by someone far older. She had a really creepy step brother as I recall.

Anyway, the best advice I can give if you're not gonna go see a professional, which I HIGHLY recommend you do, it will fix you up MUCH faster.
But you have to think about it. You just have to relive it, you have to come to terms with it. You cannot shove it back away, thats how these life long issues manifest. You just have to reflect on the experience long enough until you reach the point of thinking "What happened was terrible. But it does not define my future. I can move past this to some degree. My life is forever changed, but I still have control. I cannot change the past, but I can control where I go from here. What happened was not my fault."

>>18239050
>it was the perpetrator that revealed the memory.
what the fuck, what kind of bastard does that? what did you do?

>>18238999
Infants and young children learn by reading expressions and tone of voice and attaching them directly to the current situation. Many women are uncomfortable or distressed when confronted by their children's sexuality and their own feelings (parental love and romantic love are not so wildly different as people like to pretend, which causes emotional confusion in many new parents), and that discomfort is interpreted by the infant as "this thing is bad/dirty/untouchable". So now the infant grows into a child ashamed of his or her body and unable to explore his or her sexuality at the time when curiosity is at its peak.

In your case, seeing your mother naked was a big deal for you because you understood from a young age that nudity was something shameful. Presumably she dismissed your disapproval as being an ungrateful little shit, which probably didn't help anything.

So yeah, your mother fucked you up, but it probably wasn't for her own sexual gratification. While it's not impossible, the fact that you don't remember it (repressed memories are a meme) and the fact that it's incredibly uncommon for women to sexually abuse their sons (mother/son incest is a taboo that predates humanity by millions of years: male bonobos will fuck literally anything that isn't their mother and females will fuck literally anything that isn't their son, and most if not all other mammals show a similar aversion to mother/son couplings) mean that there's more likely another explanation here.

>>18239243
Thank you

>>18238675
My experience with this topic is probably different than everyone else here's. It's a long story. Let's greentext it

> be me
> be 12 years old in 6th grade
> be homosexual
> be ostracized by peers
> be bullied by peers
> literally everyone save a couple people have, at some point, picked on me or made fun of me or went out of their way to make me feel like shit
> I get beat up, constantly
> they break my things
> I have no friends
> I want to die

> one of my neighbors(32 years old) is pretty cool
> he has video games and I dint have any
> he lets me go to his place to play pretty much every day
> we grow close.
> for like a year, we hang out all the time
> we talk a lot, I tell him about what's happening to me, he is a pillar of support
> he talks me out of suicide multiple times

> be maybe a year of hanging out with him constantly, when I was 13 and in 7th grade(and the bullying had only gotten worse)
> we have sex. I initiated it, for the record, but I know it still counts as sexual abuse or whatever
> we have sex on a regular basis after that. Almost always at my insistence, even with him not being in the mood and flat out refusing a bunch of times
> I liked it. I loved him

> even today, I still don't view the experience negatively, and still remember what we did fondly.

So... honestly I can't really identify with the pain you're going through OP. But I have been told by many people that I should be able to, and that what happened to me was rape and I should be feeling the pain you are. But I don't, because of the nature of what happened and because of how I choose to feel about it.

If I could offer any advice, it would be to try to accept what happened. Repressing it or trying to forget about it will just mean that you're grappling with the same issue forever.

You need to face it head on, come to terms with it, and accept it as a part of you. It's hypocritical of me to say this because your experience was clearly more traumatic than mine tho

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I've got a weird situation. I don't remember every being molested (except for possibly this one time, but right now I don't really count it). However, I feel insanely creeped out by my grandfather. He's never said or done anything inappropriate to me that I can remember, but I make sure to wear baggy clothing around him so that he can never sneak a peak at my cleavage. I hate when he hugs me because he can probably feel my boobs squishing against him. I hate eating dinner at the table with everybody because just him looking at me makes me want to vomit. If I could kill him and suffer no consequences, I would do it in a heartbeat. I hate him so much and he's never done anything to me. I have the same feelings about my dad, but not nearly as extreme.

What worries me is that when I went to a therapist, she said that it's likely I was molested as a child at some point because I show a lot of signs. What makes me even more worried is that I've had people that I was either close to or neutral towards, and after they did something creepy to/around me, my feelings towards them changed to have a lot of the same emotions I have towards my grandfather and dad. However, the therapist said that if I am repressing memories somehow, it's likely that I'm not going to get them back--"If your mind is hiding some of your memories, it's likely going to keep them hidden."

tl;dr I don't remember being molested but my feelings towards my dad and grandfather are the same as my feelings towards people who've been actually creepy to me

Stuff happened, my personality fits a few of the borderline personality disorder criteria and I'm generally very fucked in the head. My plan is to do some hardcore hallucinogenics in the future. Knowing the problem and talking about the problem... it does nothing. No amount of talking is going to fix it. It's chemicals or death for me desu

>>18238675
Hey OP

I had something like that happen.

I'm in a good headspace myself but I don't have any friends. I go weeks without human contact.

It's just who I am, I don't think about it but my eye twitches every now and then

I can only assume from stress.

>>18239305
oh

My advice is just be nice to people, be kind and good and people will treat you the same.

I'd probably kill myself if I didn't have that slight feeling people like me.

I guess I substitute genuine human interaction for just a pleasant smile and wave

>>18238860

Idk

>>18238675
Go to a therapist or psychiatrist