Hi /adv/, at first, I have to apologize to make yet another """""dating advice""""" thread, I hate how /adv/ is constantly flooded in these thread and I won't go in the details with very long greentexts.
My problem is pretty common, I'm shy and I don't trust girls, even tho I'm pretty average and I get hit on on rare occasions.
I'm always very enthusiast when I meet a girl I like and she gives me attention, I'm good at being friendly the first time but as soon as I see the person again, I tend to be cold and ignore her, and that always make me feel bad. It's like I'm overthinking and then panicking, or I choose that she don't like me even if my friends tells me to go talk to her. I don't trust and that's weird.
I had a pretty bad mother who was a pathological liar and very cold with her surrounding (except with her lovers of course).
ANY TIP TO FIX THIS MESS ?? IF SOMETHING EXISTS PLEASE TELL ME I FEEL BAD EVERY TIME.
Stop being cold
>>18236409
Find the middle ground between trust and mistrust
I don't trust anyone that isn't family or a good friend, everyone else gets the middleground, or if they fuck up I dont trust them at all.
I always used to fuck up with girls in the past by being distant too much, gave them the idea I wasnt into them even though I was basically shitting myself from nervousity trying to figure out how to ask them out
Keep things lighthearted, don't get too serious over text and don't open up the floodgates of feels at the start of the date
Besides that dont let the wizards of /adv/ get to your head and just ask them out
>>18236440
Working hard on that one. I tend to be cold only with some people on some occassions, when I work by instinct.
>I always used to fuck up with girls in the past by being distant too much, gave them the idea I wasnt into them even though I was basically shitting myself from nervousity trying to figure out how to ask them out
Literally me, thank you anon. I'll dig this middleground trick.
But I have troubles wanting something out of a girl, even if I fantasize about being really close to her I don't want to be with her at the same time (not interested, not feeling worthy enought, know this is gonna end up bad, etc...).
I start wondering if the only way to fix that is to throw myself into suffering and spill my pasta everywhere on purpose.
>>18236498
Spill some spaghetti, it shows you're human and if things get serious she'll start dropping spaghetti too
>>18236538
Yup that's a good idea
When I think about it once I spilled my spaghettis on a girl and she couldn't stop coming back at me.