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Anonymous
How do deal with a spouse that is arrogant? 2017-04-18 02:08:45 Post No. 18235361
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How do deal with a spouse that is arrogant? 2017-04-18 02:08:45 Post No. 18235361
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How do deal with a spouse that is arrogant?
Anonymous
2017-04-18 02:08:45
Post No. 18235361
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My wife is an intelligent woman, there is no doubt of that. I can have very interesting conversations with her if I introduce a new or higher tier issue to her that will last for an hour easily. The issue is that she's the sort of smart where she was a big fish in a small pond and can't accept the fact that she could be wrong. She will do things out of spite if she feels she's being told what to do(even if she had requested it at an earlier point).
For example, her stepfather is most likely a pedophile, and we were discussing his involvement with our upcoming child. She said she wanted to remove him from our life for the safety of our child and wanted me to make certain that point was made "down the road when [she] was crazy hormonal." I concurred and said I'll simply say he can't be a part of our child's life. She immediately responded(almost reflexively) in full seriousness, then I'll make certain he's the most active grandparent.
I hold no hatred for my wife, but constantly being belittled and berated will whittle anything down. I'm afraid I'll lose my patience as time goes on and I fear for our relationship, especially with the introduction of a third party(the baby) that will act as a catalyst for the "I DO WHAT I WANT, CONSEQUENCES BE DAMNED" aspect of her personality.
If anyone has any advice, I'll openly welcome it. They never covered this one in Carnegie's people books.
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it could be that your wife has personal problems from that past that causes her to be so defensive. Does she suffer from any mental health diseases? Maybe a lack of self-worth or respect? Could it be that she doesn't like herself that much so when you tell her something or ask her something, she gets defensive because she sees it as a personal attack? You'll have to do some research into this case and find the real reason for her acting in a unreasonable manner.
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all women are crazy
they will put their crazyness on you and you will have to present the common sense solution and stick to it
they whine and complain but they will respect you for it
stand your ground, argue, reason and dont be a fucking slipper, its called shittests and its part of being a woman
im usually telling mine she is being retarded if she still wants to do the crazy unreasonable thing after long hours of discussion
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>>18235361
>a third party(the baby) that will act as a catalyst for the "I DO WHAT I WANT, CONSEQUENCES BE DAMNED" aspect of her personality.
You can stay with her as long as you don't have that baby. Because she will toss any thought of trying to compromise with you right out the window if she thinks she has to for the sake of the baby, and she WON'T be thinking rationally, she will be excessively cautious.
People need to be loaded to have kids without this kind of thing coming between them.
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>>18235448
>don't have that baby
Oh nvm just read she is already pregnant. Welp.
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>>18235361
This is exactly the sort of thing couples counseling handles well.
What is happening is a classic failure of communication. You say something that you intend to be innocuous, but either you accidentally say it in a way that offends her or she mishears it as offensive. Or she says something and you hear something else.
From that moment on you are inhabiting separate universes - you're in the one where you said the innocent thing and she's in the one in which you were offensive, and everything from that point on is impossible because each of you will say things relevant to the universe you inhabit and the other will hear things in the context of the universe they inhabit.
A neutral third party, who can say "What do you think you said?" and "What did you think you heard?" can get you out of the loop and help you spot future misunderstandings before they happen.
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>>18235430
pretty much this...
her being smart isnt a excuse for her being a petty,immature bitch
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>>18235413
I can't post from pc, so I had to go to mobile. Connection issues it says.
To your point, she has maybe one friend outside of me. She's always had trouble making friends and moreover keeping them for as long as I've known her. They either use her or "drift" off to find other people as friends. In certain this is reflective of a larger issue but I have no idea where to start looking.
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>>18235456
This is good advice. Thank you.
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>>18235361
Woman .. intelligent
Choose one
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>>18236093
One was dumb enough to give you life
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