How do I deal with alcoholism without support? I need to stop

Do you have access to health care? I'd strongly recommend finding a counselor/psychologist to help you get through this. There are counselors online you can talk to, which could help mitigate the social anxiety of seeking out a counselor in the first place.

>>18234823
I do have access to health care. i just wish they would fucking make weed clinics where I live already

>>18234849
Yeah, I must admit, I've been pretty spoiled having access to recreational dispensaries all over town. :-P

>>18234786

>How do I deal with alcoholism without support?

You don't. Without structure and/or a system set in place to hold you accountable its not a matter if you relapse, its when.

>I feel like if I go and seek mental help then I will just seep back into drinking again for not being afraid.

Well listening to your feelings up until now have lead you to be a depressed drunk. Maybe its time you stop following your feelings and consider doing something out of your comfort zone like, I dunno, maybe seek help for your alcoholism from an experienced professional.

OP, alcoholism is not only ruining your life when talking about your emotional state but also financially and the health.

You have to stop drinking first in order to fix your social anxiety and depression, especially the depression.
After you stop drinking poison or normally called "alcohol" you should seek some help about your social anxiety, since the depression could become lower once you stop drinking, but you will eventually have depression again because of your social anxiety.

Read about the harm of alcohol and alcoholism OP, don't believe the "benefits" of it, all of them are payed lies from the alcohol industry.

>>18234786

Google AA meetings in your area. Go to the next meeting you can go to. Sit down in the back. Listen to what happens and what is shared.

After the meeting, talk to the person that you related to the most. Ask them for help.