How to deal with rejection?

Normal people don't spend months building crushes. If they like someone, they ask him/her out immediately. If rejected, move on. Your mistake was investing far far too much emotion into this one person before doing anything concrete.

>>18232954

its kinda like stubbing your toe. it sucks, and you admit it sucks, and maybe you do something like rub your toe or swear for a second, but then after that you go back to life. its a small pain, not something that defines you or takes awayfrom who you are.

>>18232954
So here is what 'normal' people do
>like someone
>never act on it
>chad just knock her up at party
Life is great

>>18232954
I don't get feelings for girls I haven't slept with. And even then it takes a long time to build up my trust. That butterfly feeling has been gone since I was 18.

>>18233036

This

>>18232954

Tbh, there is no way to stop the hurt. Its completely fine to feel down, cry for all you like there is no shame about it. But remember that this is just one human being who didn't like you and maybe its for the best. Just remember there are an extra 320 million people in your country (I'm assuming you're an Americuck) and at lest half that number are female.
There will be more people out there who will like you and dislike you, so just wait for it, time is your main balm.

>>18233141
What happened? How did you killed it?

>>18232954
The best thing to do is to show them what they lost when they rejected you.

Become a carpenter. Buy sick stuff with your carpentry skill. Show them all the stuff they have lost.

>>18233324
I don't know. I started valuing myself above chicks. Realized they're usually stupid and shitty. And if you actually talk to them they're never that special or great. But once a chick establishes that she treats me well, respects me, communicates like an adult, and the sex is good I start catching feelings and don't want to lose it.

I got dumped on valentines day by one of my early gfs and I made a sappy card and shit. Never was the same after that. I ghost chicks the second they disrespect me at all.

>>18233405

Man, I wish I could do this.

I can't stand wasting my time on a date or fucking someone I don't at least already have some interest in, so I've always gotta play Russian roulette about whether or not I'm gonna get kicked in the dick when I ask someone out.

>>18233414
You should be able to tell by talking to them if they are smart enough for you and have good values.

Personally, I habitually shit where I eat. My coworkers always come onto me and if they are good people I end up dating them.

>>18232954
that was an opening, retard

>>18234351
Opening for what?

Move on op. Act faster the next time. Keep looking for girls to make out with. And get the goods beforenhaving feelings: at least make out regularly with a girl beforenbuldingnexpectations about her

And it hurt. I just got rejected by a girl who I had sex before a few times, who was coming for the weekend and starter seeing another guy from her city. It hurts but fuck her, I'm downloading tinder again right now

>>18233036
PERFECT EXPLANATION

>>18232954
Real talk: what does it matter what normal people do for break ups? i mean if it doesn't work for you, i think you shouldn't really much give a shit.
If you dig drinks go buy a beer or 3, maybe mix yourself a drink if you have booze laying around, watch a movie you really wanted to see, play a vidya you liked or want to try out, listen your favorite (pump) music album, cook yourself some spaghetti carbonara, ask a pal to hang out with ya and do any of the above with him, maybe do some exercise like squats or push ups till you feel kinda well, etc, etc.
heck i remember one of the times i broke up i just walked home instead of taking the train, like a 3km walk while listening to Nujabes. halfway trough i wasn't so sad and was a bit under the weather, when i got home i felt like "meh, ill survive".
just do shit to keep your mind off it until you end up coming to the realization: "eh, whatever"
what's done is done, just shrug it off, 2^gazillion more fish in the pond, feel like you can't be bother to spend so much time thinking about something that is already done and gone

Easily.

Basically the mistake is getting attached before asking out.

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>>18232954
>When I said I was feeling some stuff for her she said "You better stop it or you fucked"
maybe she meant that if you wont stop feeling some stuff for her she will fuck you

You move on and realise it's her loss because you are awesome as fuck?

That's what I do.

>>18232983

I hate this mentality. What's the fucking rush? Why am I such an awful person for building up feelings and allowing myself enough time to know if I actually like the person or not. Its so dumb.

>he still pursues women

>>18232983

Pretty much this.

>>18234904
>I hate this mentality. What's the fucking rush? Why am I such an awful person for building up feelings and allowing myself enough time to know if I actually like the person or not.

Here's the thing. I know where you're coming from. I've been there.

When I was 23, I met a girl that I thought was the one. I just randomly met her one day and had a conversation that changed my life. Bumped in to her again a few months later and spent over a year getting to know her as a friend, before one I day I started to realize more and more that were turning in to something more.

And then I told her that, and I got a kiss, and then I spilled spaghetti, and then I got rejected.

And the entire time I was spilling spaghetti, I KNEW i was spilling spaghetti but just couldn't help myself.

But I did it anyway.

After that I kind of realized, I was over-investing and overthinking shit. I was giving too many fucks. I was being overwhelming as mother fucking hell and neither her, nor I could handle it.

From that moment on I realized I was using, "get to know them first" as an excuse for, "wait 'til I'm sure because I don't want to get hurt".


So It's been a while since then and I've done the dating thing, to success and failure, and am currently in a long term, happy relationship. I can say I've got experience with both sides.

The reason why the "wait and see" approach doesn't work is because no one else does it. Everyone else is not in the same frame of mind as you. Everyone else is not thinking of this in terms of potential romance.

You are put the other person at an awkward disadvantage because you've been trying to foster potential feelings for weeks/months/years, and they have never had the thought cross their mind. You're effectively blindsiding them.

When you go in with a "Hey, you want to go on a date" at least you both start off on even ground, both aware of what's going on, and can both progress at a relatively equal pace.

>>18234904
You aren't awfull but you have to understand while you are doing that the woman is building feelings with a different person and it will just hurt you more when you do get rejected

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>>18234904

>What's the fucking rush? Why am I such an awful person for building up feelings and allowing myself enough time to know if I actually like the person or not. Its so dumb.

Because thats how bitter neckbeards are born. They spend their entire lives wringing their hands and developing these one sided long distance crushes on girls without ever making concrete steps to interact or bond with her and then they fly into a rage about "Chad" whenever another guy with an actual set of testicles steps in and asks her out.

They get bitter and frustrated and start visiting /pol/ and /r9k/ and develop all these intense theories about how nothing is their fault and the world is just out to get them and women owe them sex for having a STEM degree, driving a nice car and wearing designer long sleeve button ups. Then they start downloading pictures of homemade meme stats on single mothers and black crime rates and slowly but surely turn into your average 4chan born and bred waste of space.

Seriously, dude, even if you have the brains to avoid becoming a bitter husk of the man-baby you once were there is literally no upside to developing such a stringent system of deciding whether or not to ask someone out. Take a fucking chance, kid. "Building up feelings" is a meme. Lets be honest, you're not building shit up, you're just dragging your feet until the girl has to erect a flashing arrow sign pointing towards her vagina because you have absolutely no confidence or ability to process the stress of a possible rejection from a girl you've been staring at from across the coffee shop for the past 6 months.

Life doesnt wait for anyone and you could die literally any minute. Get a fucking move on.

>>18234912
>he still shitposts on Vietnamese pottery forums

dont
>get butthurt
>get mad
>think less of yourself

do
>have a sense of humor
>persistance, youd be surprised how vaginas go from dry to wet just because they see you are absolutely sure youll end up bedding them
>get to know chicks a bit better so asking out becomes a formality

>>18234960
>you have absolutely no confidence or ability to process the stress of a possible rejection
Not the anon you're replying to but if this is true how do I change that scenario for myself?

>>18233324

I, personally was sexually abused frequently when I was younger :)

>>18235088
Practice. Get rejected, learn to handle it, move on.

What a fucking great thread.