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Anonymous
I feel like I am screwed 2017-04-17 09:23:11 Post No. 18231652
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I feel like I am screwed 2017-04-17 09:23:11 Post No. 18231652
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I have plunged into depression couple of months ago. I ended up getting shit grades in college and missing some important classes. I had to ask my acquaintances and friends for homework help way too many times and I get the impression that some are avoiding me now.
I'm currently seeing a doc and am currently in a recovery process. However, I feel like my reputation is already fucked given how my peers seem to be avoiding me. I want to work in an industry which is relatively small so networking is key and I think I am fucked in the sense that everyone else seems to have friends and I don't.
I tried to take initiative to stop being a pile of shit and I actually messaged a prof to ask about summer research jobs and I also messaged another department at my college asking if it is possible to start a series of activities which a funding program seems to cover. Both didn't reply. I think they didn't reply as they already see me as screwed and that people at work tend to want to do as little work as possible so the last thing they want to do is to reply to an email asking such "trivial" stuff.
Any advice for success, happiness or whatever?
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>>18231652
There are two parts to your post.
1. Making up with your friends. Just be honest. Talk to them one at a time. "I know I wasn't much of a friend for a while, but I was going through a really bad time. I'm on my way up now, and I want to apologize for [what I did to you]. I hope we can get past this and rebuild our friendship." Some will reject you but I think you'll be surprised how many will understand.
2. It is very, very unlikely that the faculty think of you as a loser and base their treatment of you on that. Frankly, it is very very unlikely that the faculty think about you (or any other students) much at all. They don't get involved in personalities or the way students interact with each other. So if you haven't heard from them the most likely explanation is that they haven't finished the deciding process yet. And if they eventually turn you down, it will be because there are stronger candidates, not because they think of you as a shit.
Meanwhile, it can't hurt to go to the professors involved in person "Prof X, I applied for [the program] and I just wanted to stop by and tell you I am really, really interested in it and hope I'll hear from the committee soon."
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>>18231711
I felt really suicidal in the past and sometimes posted about wanting to kill myself on the web during lectures. Maybe someone saw my posts and think that I was psycho.
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>>18231722
Once again you are falling into the trap of thinking the universe revolves around you. If anyone on the faculty had noticed those posts and taken them seriously, they would have intervened then. The fact that they didn't is solid evidence that they didn't notice or didn't care - and either one means they're not using it against you now.
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>>18231856
Depression is kind of stigmatized and I feel like some people are avoiding me on purpose
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