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Anonymous
the friendship seesaw 2017-04-17 08:19:43 Post No. 18231485
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the friendship seesaw 2017-04-17 08:19:43 Post No. 18231485
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If you're wanting to be friends with someone of the opposite sex with no intentions of going further, and everything is cool for the first couple of months, but then they no longer want to hang out with you and just keep giving you lame excuse after lame excuse instead of just telling you the truth, who does the fault lay with?
The person who got just a tad too needy/clingy and didn't get the hint soon enough even if they weren't being overbearing and asked the other person to hang out too many times in a row, or the person who just keeps making excuses and doesn't have the courage to just say they don't want to be friends anymore or that they are hitting them up too frequently (In this case once a week max, usually once every other week on weekends) and just idly letting the other person keep on initiating
Cause I get it, friendships and relationships are a balance, and nobody likes it when someone is desperate to hang out all the time, but equally worse when they never hit you up and seem to have no interest in your life either. Sometimes you are either trying too hard or not hard enough at all, and everyone has their own preference, but everyone is human and nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. Yes there is an agreed upon push/pull ratio, but if that boundary is overstepped once why is suddenly everything a no go from there on out?
If you couldn't figure it out by now, I am the person that possibly got a little too needy/clingy, even though it wasn't even that bad at all, I think I just barely stepped over stepped the line. I've been on the other side too so I know how it affects things.
Does over stepping this line once or twice really make me a bad person and unworthy of friendship, or at least the truth? Or is that just 'awkward' and I should just 'get it'. If so, why does the other person (in this case a girl) not just say so? Why not just say hey you are hitting me up too much for my liking, I'll let you know when I'm free and we can hangout then.
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>>18231485
Maybe she stopped talking because she wanted the dick not just friendship?
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>>18231485
>why does the other person (in this case a girl) not just say so?
Because they're a girl. This happens to me on a fairly regular basis. Of course, I really am trying to smash.
But it's still really annoying, I don't understand it either. I've just accepted it and cut ties with the person who's giving me the cold shoulder.
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I don't personally think it's a gender thing, based on my experiences. It just happens with friends with different levels of interest I guess. I wish I knew.
I do think it's more a friends thing though.
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>>18231485
I wouldn't be friends with someone of the opposite sex if i were you. Especially if youre a guy trying to find a genuine female friend. They'll attempt to use you, berate you, leave you hanging somewhere because something better came up. Women will be really petty to you if sex isnt involved. Not necessarily saying this doesnt happen the other way around i just dont see it as often
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>>18231496
Maybe, but I got 0 signals and I'm pretty sure I'm not her type. Plus she's older than me.
>>18231497
Yeah honestly I feel like I'm pretty socially aware but this has me doubting my own social skills.
>>18231502
Yeah that's fine, I just don't understand why she wouldn't say something.
>>18231506
Yeah it's never worked out for me either but honestly she is pretty cool and we kind have similar background and I kinda just need casual friends so I don't really see any reason why it couldn't workout.
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