Dream where I resisted cheating, kinda wish I didn't

>oh man I'm having thoughts of cheating this is really bad
>am I in love with the wrong woman?

can you speak in Real Talk for like two minutes, so we can have an actual discussion?

>there must be something wrong if I'm thinking about having sex with another woman
again man, get Real

are you like, kidding yourself here?
I'm not for cheating on your spouse, and I'm certainly not for getting caught cheating on your spouse, but you can't sit here and pretend that the thought doesn't arise

>>18230836
Well for a start I don't think it's really bad, I think it's usually quite normal to dream of cheating isn't it? And I don't love this other girl, but I have been attracted to her in the past. Maybe I'm just overreacting but today I've been doubting my current relationship. I'm afraid I don't follow about how I can 'be more real'. Came here for a friendly chat on the matter but it's clear you're not interested in that.

>>18230854
I'm just a hostile guy. I can be nicer.

Yeah, it's normal to think about having sex with other people. Why are you doubting your current relationship?

>>18230868
Well, I doubt its longevity. I'm career and money motivated and I will likely be moving away from where we currently live to pursue careers (while she will stay). I also doubt that her education and experience and her attitude to careers will get her a good career. She is quite family motivated.

She comes from a foreign, traditional and very Catholic background. I have a similar background but I have many more liberties than her in terms of what I can do according to my faith and what my parents will let me do (pretty much anything, while hers are very restrictive and protective).

We may have been together a year but I still think about the future critically.

>>18230893
seems like the only way this would work is if she moved with you and you guys had a family...

you know a housewife really isn't so bad.

>>18230899
That's the current plan that we're working at. I'll move away and eventually settle with a job, and hopefully she can eventually join me.

Regardless of the future however, I'm fairly certain that there is a mutual desire between this other girl and myself, I see it myself and hear it from our mutual friends. I don't really know what to think.

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I had a dream similar to that. I don't regret anything though, the dude was married and looked like a shitty patrick swayze, the point of the dream was to teach me how fucked up and vulnerable people are after they have kids. His family was right there in the building. He was *gross*

Ever since then my dreams have been centered around being pregnant during a zombie apocalypse or a flood or something similar. What the fuck is happening to me?

>>18230919
Too be honest on the rare occasion I dream, I typically die in the dream, car crash, helicopter crash, gunshot, fall from height you name it. I guess this was a refreshing change!

>>18230929
Do you remember the part where you die, or is that just when you wake up and the dream stops? I can't tell you how many times I died because I had to get up to pee two times.

>>18230915
this is what's frustrating me though. just be real with yourself and what you want

>I fear I'll have an affair with this woman
there's nothing to be afraid of. just do what you want, and don't do what you don't want. stop overcomplicating matters. it seems as though you're just trying to remove yourself from responsibility, which I think is pretty shitty.

>That's the current plan and we're working at it
You just said you don't see a future a year ahead of you guys, and now you're saying that the plan is for her to move for you and marry you and have your children?

fuck dude. why would I be nice to you rn?

>>18230952
I don't fear an affair, I'm just confused at my emotions, for which I am entirely responsible. I'm just trying to understand them, I feel the best way it to talk about them to people who might understand or have experience.

It is the plan and I do see a future, but as I said, I am critical of it and doubtful to an extent - please reread what I have written, I never said I don't see that possible future.

Your comments are useful because I need you to be critical, not nice. Get over yourself.

>>18230936
I do remember the parts where I die yes. It's not just a need to wake up, it is a sudden waking at 4/5am during an otherwise normal night.

>>18230967
>you and I aren't going to have a pleasant conversation
>get over yourself, be critical
well you're pretty fickle in general, but you gave that self-critique

so stop trying to fence with me and just spill more of the details. you're not writing enough.

what is so concerning about wanting to fuck this friend?
why don't you think the relationship is going to last?
what the hell do you want to happen?
do you recognize that you are in control of what happens?

>>18230991
It's not just fuck, I've never been about just fucking, I want more with this other girl. That's what is concerning, I shouldn't feel like that when I'm this deep into my relationship.

I sometimes doubt this relationship will last because - see above - culture gets in the way, careers get in the way.

I don't know what I want to happen, I'm trying to think about the whole situation and how I feel, and have a dialogue with people to try and figure things out.

I realise I am in total control.

>>18231023
What is wrong with your current relationship, more specifically? It's better to focus on that rather than branch-swinging to a new woman, because we don't know how that would even work out in the long run, you know?

So what's the problem with your current girlfriend, in greater detail?

>>18231063
The arguing we do sometimes is natural, everybody argues. We've come to an agreement lately but it was always over an insecurity of hers that I would get a word or two about. She is naturally insecure, and I'm always willing to be supportive of any trust issues she may have but it was new to me, and I started to feel like I was being gaslighted. To the point where it felt like I was going to have no liberties.

In addition to the fact that she wants a family, and I don't, I want to travel around on graduate scheme jobs and she wants to stay where we are now. I feel like our religions clash too - we fundamentally disagree on those things but we haven't had to deal with them yet, eventually we will (marraige etc.)

As trivial as this detail seems, she annoys me an awful lot with her lack of common sense combined with her occasional self-righteousness and I find myself having to bite my tongue before my temper takes over. It's over the most trivial things but consistent ditsiness and lack of thinking things through with regards to our plans, her work and almost any affair has wound me up.

>>18231095
it sounds like you don't even appreciate being with her, because of the way you two clash

I would try to find a way to address the issues if I were you, and to see if any kind of agreement can be reached. When you start telling me (albeit a bit vaguely) about problems with starting a family and with religion, that is a red flag for your relationship.

Either way don't cheat. Just be an honest man and face the problem.