Suicide

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OP Here: I would love to reach out to my friends, a shoulder to cry on but i know they would call some kind of suicide helpline or police. i know they would stop it. and that's not what i want. I just want to talk to them, make them understand that this is what i want, that they have been such good friends i honestly couldn't ask for better friends. But fuck

>>18228177
>ease the emotional pain of loved ones

Not really. You could leave a note, but they'll still blame themselves for not helping you. They won't think avout how cowardly and selfish you are, just how much they love and miss you.

>>18228205
They cant help me, but i know. This is me, the mistakes i made and the fact that i pretty much fucked myself over.

I could recover but like i said, why bother. Even the brightest future seems dark.

I know its selfish but fuck, every day i wake up and cry, the job i have now is just factory shit, its achieving nothing but money. The work will be forgotten, no one will, or ever give a fuck about it.

The spot i chose is in view from my house, but on someone elses property (it used to be forest when i was a kid) a tree i always used to climb with a friend, the only time i ever remember being happy.

I need to do this for myself, and i will but minimizing the emotional and economic impacts is a must, hence working to cover costs. but im so useless i end up spending it all on alcohol and crying myself to sleep.

>>18228288
You're depressed. Go to a therapist. If you care about not hurting others, hold off.

>>18228203
You can always leave a note. My best friend asked me for a beer a few days before it happened, but I couldn't make it. Still regret it to this day. He did leave a not telling me he loved me and that eased the pain. But there's always the guilt and emotional pain of losing someone you love.

>>18228177

Istead of risking your life, why dont you take worthy risks like moving to another country.

If youre gonna die might as well do something crazy and see how it turn out

and if you want to die join the army or something. Then your family can be proud atleast

but seriously take a good risk, like moving somewhere new

>>18228318
I went to a doctor, i stuttered and fucked it up. He got the idea that it was more of a i don't know what do now that ive left school phase.

>>18228323
So you think i should maybe attend some parties with friends, and engage in activities with them rather than cutting them off?

>>18228330
Its good advice, and if anyone else here is going through a hard phase, like being made redundant and having no friends then i would recommend this.

For me, i have friends, i have a supportive family i have everything. I look at my life and its privileged, but i cant find happiness in anything, ive tried so much stuff and my parents and friends have supported me every step of the way. Looking in on my life from an outside view it seems super good. But i cannot find happiness in anything, even when i think about the perfect situation, what would make me happy i come up blank.

>>18228177
I'm in the same shit.
But I'm such piece of trash disgrace I think my parents are delusional to want me alive.

They are now just as depressed as I am because they know what I am up to.

I just need a sure way out of life, falling from a height is something I can't because it would bring too much shame to my parents.

I can hang myself but I don't want to miss and end up crippled, so how do you actually hang your neck?
I'm guessing what I saw in movies isn't legit.

>>18228177
I'm trying to make my own family feel less pain with my own departure by being an insufferable asshole to them. I mean, they've been assholes to me during my whole life anyway. Guess it's time for payback or something.

But I dunno about you, though. I think you might still have a reason to live. If you still care enough about your family and friends as to not wanting them to suffer...

>>18228407
They care about me. If i told them what i was going to do it would be stopped so fast and i would be on watch or in suicide proof room

For me i think its different, you have issues with your life and relationships and that sucks. For me its inner issues, the fact that i don't even know any of my interests, hell i don't even know my favorite colour and its been like this for years. Everything i do is to waste time, to get to the next day which i do the same thing. I tried to study different shit, phyc, comp sci, edu, spol, language and i mean, i just don't care. I cant find the motivation to keep myself doing it, for anything.

Half the time i don't even eat because i don't have the motivation to cook, most my meals are just a bunch of raw vegies like broc, carrot, coli on a pate, or easy to cook shit like nuggets.

You having issues with others and you can overcome that if you want, but for me i cant see an enjoyable future in anything, no matter the circumstances.

You could do >>18228330 or something ? You might also feel the way i do on top of what you said. I don't know anon. But feel free to just vent and talk in the thread <3

>>18228177

Checked.

Thing about suicide is, is that if you have the courage to go through with it, you also have the courage to at least try and fix whatever is making you want to do it in the first place.

Whether it's a difficult conversation, therapy, quitting a job, taking a risk, asking someone something, moving away, moving home, whatever, there is something only you can do that might help. It also might not, but if you at least try, it builds self esteem, and then the desire to kill yourself goes away, at least for a while.

Of course, if you don't have the nerve to go through it, or fix your shit, I have no answer, I'm currently in that phase. You just feel trapped, the bright side is you're safe, albeit suffering.

>>18228177
Just do it famiglia.

If you were serious, you wouldn't care about your loved ones and you would simply go through with it, you certainly wouldn't seek advice on a forum. My best friend committed suicide a couple years back. We were out drinking at a bar, said our goodbyes and the next morning I had a text from his dad telling me he'd hung himself in his flat.

Whether you accept it or not, you are currently crying out for help. Call someone, if you're in the UK I recommend Mind. I've been very actively donating to them since it happened and they are truly amazing at what they do.

Don't do it man. Please help yourself.

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/

>>18228177
Noose would be painfull.

>>18228475
The only help I need is knowing how your friend did it.

I've had enough with the "things are gonna get better" "there is a solution" "you have your whole life ahead"...

>>18228482
Just so you know, nobody ever truly recovered from his death. The pain of knowing somebody you love will never come back and that they died so young will stay with us forever. What you are talking about doing will devastate the lives of those around you whether you care or not.

>>18228177
Try drugs OP. They change your life. They also fuck you up sometimes but it sounds like you've got nothing to lose. Candyflipping can be magical.

>>18228488
Nobody loves me but my parents, and like I said, I'm a disgrace.
Even if they don't recover from the loss I think they will be better off without me, and lately all I was good at is calling then at night for whinings while drunk.

I'm not OP btw.

>>18228498
I know how you're feeling mate. The world is a scary place for you right now, I've been there. A couple of years ago I tried to hang myself with my belt but I was too much of a fat shit (lmao) and it couldn't support me and I had to get my mum to drive me to the hospital with a broken collarbone and tell her I fell out of bed.

The point is, I thought everyone would be better off without me. Two years later and I'm in the best physical shape of my life, I have a beautiful girlfriend and a job I never dreamed I could do. I know we probably have different circumstances, and I know it's a cliche, but things can get better. It won't happen by coincidence and you'll have to work for it, but you can drag yourself back up if you work at it.

Or you can give up and selfishly duck out early and ruin your parent's lives in the process. You really think they'll be better off living with the guilt that their kid killed himself? You gotta be real man.

>>18228510
No bro.
You don't know what shit I'm going through right now.

I've worked hard to achieve some stuff I didn't ever dream could happen but it gave me no result in the long run.

I've waited years for things to get better.
They only get worse.

>>18228177
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I've stated this and the fact that I've been in same situation several times here. And again I can only say that it will get better but that getting to that requires professional help and even medication. Go to your doc and explain the situation

I wish my problems were as minimal as yours OP, and I don't say that to mock you. I was used in my past and had a lot of people hurting me so much that it left an emotional scar on me to the point that if I was reminded of it I'd hurt myself and want to kill myself. I wish you could see that your life is much richer in purpose, I'm literal garbage and wished I was just bored of my life.

However I believe in god and afterlife, so in case you do decide to kill yourself and end up in a bad place, I'll pray and think of you so you will find light. I did so for my brother who died.

>>18228538
I believe in god and afterlife too.

But I can't bear to live that shameful life any longer.

>>18228550
Where do you currently stand in life? Have you been working hard, do you wish to be on a break? I wonder if maybe all the failure just comes from the stress of building yourself up too much, leading to greater depression. You should take it as a sign that maybe you don't fully live for yourself.

It's not shameful to care for your own well being and right now it's threatened. I can't talk you out of it, but I hope you find insight if it's the right answer/solution.

>>18228527
>>18228562
I stand as finished high school and unemployed. I've got a few job interviews here and there but never a job, im terrible in social situations, always freeze up and go blank.

So i mainly sit at home all day and give people /adv/ice. its the only thing that gives me any self worth.

Every time i think into the future i don't see enjoyment. I see nothing. I don't know my own interests and cant even get a job in labour or retail it really wears me down.

Its not that im sad, its more bored and not getting enjoyment out of anything. Im so impartial to everything and lack any motivation for anything. I try to study something for a career and then i just cant, there is no motivation even when i think about end goal and me being happy.

I just don't know, even if i could fix it, life is only life. people hold its value far to high. Everyone has down points in there life and honestly i would rather be dead. Its not that big of a deal, sleeping is when i am happiest, even before depression i loved sleep. And i don't dream much, or at least remember many i just lose like 10 hours of a day with nothing, like insta skip time and i love it

>>18228642
this was LITERALLY my life for three years when I left school. Guess the fuck what? I picked my ass up, took a national diploma in computing and then went to university. You can make a difference. Stop being a pussy.

>>18228375
go back to the doctor and tell them you've got suicide ideation