Relationships - how the fuck they work?

>>18226566

romance / relationships are supposed to be unique, that is what makes them special. the reason online dating has been mostly distilled down to hooking up is because there is no natural chemistry involved with it. people have the same problems with speed dating.

in order to really date things have to arise somewhat naturally. not that you shouldn't pursue women, but if there was some 'step by step' that guaranteed a girl it would already be known first off, but it woudl also not make the relationship special.

the best we can describe it is
>meet people
>if a girl interests you ask her to hang out at some event / date
>when you are with her, don't be afraid to 'make a move', be close to her, tease her a little, put an arm around her. and if the vibe is right, kiss her.

now you're probably saying
>HOW DO I KNOW IF THE VIBE IS RIGHT?

trial and error. no, you wont get accused of raping someone for trying to kiss them on a date.

>the problem is: okay, we got to know each other a bit, but that date didn't do any progress

what do you even mean by this? like it didn't end up turning to a relationship? did you ask her on another date?

>18226584
>>18226584
Well, after the date I send her some photos we took on that "date" and write something like thanks for a good time.

I didnt ask her for another date.

>>18226616

okay, well how is it supposed to progress if you dont try to progress it?

or were you just not itnersted? because by your own account you only went on one date with one girl and would now be acting like that means NO girl will ever make you happy.

so which is it?

>>18226620
So basically I have to initiate every move? I dont want to be to aggresive, intrusive or something...

Im interested in her but Im just clueless what should i do. I guess i have to read about "making moves"

Btw. Thanks for advices, u seem like a really nice person :)

>>18226670

>so i have to initiate every move?

as a male, more or less, yes. men are expected to guide the relationships and girls just respond. thats just how dating dynamics generally work. once in a while a woman might put a little effort in, but its usually in the form of correcting something she disapproved of.

so yes, if you liked a girl, and you want to go on another date with a girl, you ask the girl on another date. and each date you take it a little further. the first one was just having fun adn talking. the second one you might try to hold her hand or wrap an arm around her or some other physical contact. the third you might try to kiss. the fourth you might try to sex. each relationships a bit different but the point is you have to keep making moves and keep initiating.

>i dont want to be aggresive

just take a no when she says no and try not to escalate to ofast. you can't always tell whats too fast or too slow so dont get hung up over it. its life. the relationship is not meant ot be perfect. she is not judging you on your perfect ability to read her mind. some relationships work. most dont. so dont get discouraged just because you guys didn't have the exact same mindset at the exact same time.

as long as you stop when someone says no, you are not being too aggresive or too intrusive, and even if they say you are think of it logically.

if you say
>wow i had a lot of fun, id love to take you to a movie next week
and she says
>UGH ANON THATS TOO AGGRESSIVE OR INTRUSIVE OR SOMETHING I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE DATED YOU IF YOU DIDNT ASK ME ON A DATE!!

doesn't make sense. she either likes you or she doens't. if she likes you she has no reason to think that asking her on another date is agressive.

>>18226682
Fair point. I will ask her on another date after easter. Hope it works out, thanks.

>>18226690

good luck brother.

Thing is hun, a lot of people will have a lot of dates before they find someone that might deeply affect their life or become a huge part of it. For all you know maybe you & this girl won't go anywhere or she could be the love of your life and you don't even know it!

Just put an effort in, really get to know this girl & the person she is & let her get to know who you are, something might come of it & at the least you could gain a new friend :)