welp im getting depressed again i spent three years depressed,

>>18225753
>>>/doctor/
?

>>18226004
doesnt work

>>18226026
Like you dont have health insurance, didnt find doctor, doctor ignored you or what? You havent managed to leave your room?

How do you imagine we will help you when all you tell us is
>bla bla bla depresion cycle?

How did you managed to
>cure depression
in the first place? And why do you think that life sucks? What have you tried to improve it?

>>18226043
already trired it again and again
therapy and medcation doesnt help everyone
i was expecting you to ask questions when you expect answers

>>18226043
>how did you cure depresion
very, very gradually started being more active and speding more time doing things, i signed for a class in something i always wanted to learn, i spent more time vsiting friends, dad took me on a trip that helped a bit
i gradually went from laying in bed not getting up for days at a time wishing i could die all day long to being able to act semi functional as in i still dont have a job and i still ignore my problems and i still get anger episodes and i still hate everything but it doesnt stop me from acting alive

>>18226073
>ask questions when you expect answers
All i risk by not giving right questions is boredom i will solve by jumping elsewhere, you on the other hand risk not getting help. Who has it worse? Me or you? :-)

See, you cured your sad state by hanging with people and filling void with activities. I say you should get a job, that will shoot you between people. Maybe get a friend. And ask your dad to help you again.

Also ignoring your problems seem like an bad idea, but i am still /adv/isor in training.

Also you can try some cool sport like running or swimming. It will give you an excuse to leave house, build sone muscle, makes you hungry so you may find more joy from eating tasty steak and it will release endorfins so you will feel better.

>anger
What are you angry about anon? Also anger is better than depression. Having depression is mostly about void. Angren isnt void. It is source of power you can use to do something.

>>18226098
>>See, you cured your sad state by hanging with people and filling void with activities
i never stoped being sad, i stoped being depressed
i cant get a job because im too busy with college
i have friends
my dad is an asshole and he is out of my life for good, so is most of my family. It was nice of my dad to help that one time but he caused the depresion in the first place and kept causing it after
i ignore my problems because not ignoring them causes me unberable pain
i cant run since im too fat, i had been going on long walks but whenever i feel depressed its impossible as i feel my legs too heavy and i struggle with it

i have plenty to be angry about, im angry at the mountain of bullshit i had to put up with, im angry that nobody ever tried to help, not even the people whose job is to help, im angry that i have to put up with this system that only harmed me and im suppossed to shut up and support it when its al fucking wrong and im living proof of it

>>18226138
Nice, we are finally getting somewhere.

So stop ignoring your problems and maybe solve them? Write them here?

And what are you angry at? Blaming whole world / system wont get you anywhere. You doesnt sound like depressed person to me. You sound like somebody with more issues than he can handle.

>fat
>>>/fit/ read sticky, count calories and get yourself into shape. Also even super fat peopke can swim without issues.

What are you angry at? And why arent you telling all this to them, but to me?

>>18226159
>>So stop ignoring your problems and maybe solve them? Write them here?
im too fat
i barely do anything useful at all
im too old to afford not to study since im too old to afford another year of college
i get angry
i issolate myself
i ignore people
i have piss poor sefl steem
i cant handle stress at all
i cant handle my horrible childhood and all the ways it damaged me and all that it has cost me
to begin with

dad abused me, he beat me, he treated me like trash, he made life impossible, he was a drunk asshole who took his bad life on me
mom all but abandoned me
they issolated me from the rest of the family
they blamed me for everything
they put me on horrible medication when i started acting out at school
the school psychatrist put me on medication instead of helping me while being abused
the school teachers sent me to the principal and targeted me instead of calling someone to help me
the principla kept making my life worse instead of calling whoever handles child abuse
the police was called a couple times when i was older like 13-14 and fought back against my dad but instead of helping at all they just tried to callm me down and got me to take some more dedication
the parents of other kids tried to get me kicked out of school
basically i was all alone surrounded by people who hated me since i was like 10 maybe 11 with nowhere to run to and nowhere to feel safe, i just retrived and spent all day hiding from everyone playing videogames no matter where i was
i have nobody to tel this to

I don't know if this will help you but I was in a very similar situation to you.

You need to control your emotions, it's the only way you're going to ever get better. Obviously that isn't easy at all. Look into Headspace - it's mindfulness meditation which focuses on becoming at peace with yourself, and understanding where your emotions come from, and how you can cope with them.

You say about how angry you are, you blame your sadness and your anger on everything that is "making you upset/angry". "My relationship with my dad is bad, so I'm angry". "I'm too fat to run, so that makes me sad".

I have a shit relationship with my Dad too, but I'm certainly not letting it ruin my life. And before you say "you probably weren't even depressed", I was, for over a year I was suicidal. Literally no one can help you but yourself.

Take the steps which are going to help you - practice Headspace, and get a grasp on WHAT you are feeling. That way you can stop blaming things for making you "feel" something. Nothing can you make you feel anything, as long as you know how to react to it. When you stop linking things to how you feel, you'll stop feeling so bad. Especially because you will be able to appreciate the times you are happy, and understand when you feel sad. And when you do feel sad, you will be able to accept that and still be able to change emotion if something comes along to help.

>>18226184
>You need to control your emotions
i literally cant

>meditation
never worked for me

>where your emotions come from
i have 0 trust for people, ihave 0 empaty for people, i dont want to be around people or near people, people only approach me when they want to take something or harm me

>my relationship woth my dad is bad so im angry
its more like my dad got away with abusing me and never suffered a single consequence for it, im still suffering the consequences of it and im told to get over it when i bring it up by people who dont understand how abuse works
i dont want a relationship with my dad, seeing my dad half as miserable as i am would help me greatly tho

i have no idea who you are, what you went throwgh or if you ever were depressed or not i know you arent me, you arent me at all, you are you

>practice Headspace
i dont know what that is
>get a grasp on WHAT you are feeling´
i cycle between anger, sadness, anxiety, tiredness and nihilism
>stop blaming others
its not my fault i was born into shitty circumstances and im currently living the only life i could have ended up with, its my responsability to fix it but its a monumental work and i dont even know if it can even be fixed in the first place
>appreciae when you are happy
it barely happens at all

>>18226182
So, your dad and mom failed at the first basic thing. But you should realize this means you just skipped the tutorial part of your life and went straight to hard setting mode. And it is not your problem. It is just YOUR SHITTY PAST. NOT A PROBLEM ANYMORE.

Start with baby steps.
Work on your education and get
>>>/fit/
Also try to realize that not all people are assholes. Like me for example. I am trying to be nice guy. If you call everybody as bad people, you call me the same :-(

Tldr:
Finish your education or get a job, get fit and realize that not everybody is asshole. We will see you next year on /adv/ after you will have degree, job and be non fat.

Cheers OP! It is hard work, but you literally have no other option. Bitching will get you nowhere.

>>18226199
You see, here's the excuses. Meditation never worked, therapy never worked. When you're given a solution you immediately throw it out.

You're not that unique, a lot of people suffer from depression. Those that put their minds to actually getting out of it recover, and no, it's not fast, but you do recover.

You say you don't know what Headspace is, how about you look it up? You say you know what you're feeling but have you ever looked inside yourself to truly know?

Listen to me, I'm not trying to make you feel worse, I'm trying to help you. If you want to be helped, you have to start acting like you want it. You'll never recover if you are so set on "never being able to recover". The brain works by going towards whatever it tells itself. Tell yourself you want to recover, and start working towards it.

>>18226207
if you are talking about the only game were the tutorial is the most important part and the one you are suppossed to enjoy the most and not getting the tutorial harms you forever sure
>not a problem anymore
you clearly dont know what you are talking about
>like me
you sound like an asshole to me and i barely interacted with you at all
>next year degree
in what world it takes a year?

>>18226211
>When you're given a solution you immediately throw it out
except i really fucking tried therapy, i tried everything but it all goes back to normal eventually, normal being shit, shit is normal to me
>You're not that unique, a lot of people suffer from depression
i never said i am
a lot of people commit suicide, a lot of people live long horrible lives and then die too
>You say you know what you're feeling but have you ever looked inside yourself to truly know?
if you mean obsessing over everything wrong then yes
>If you want to be helped
nobody ever tried to help me at all, people who want to "help" just want to fill me with expectations i cant fufill and then get angry when i fail once again
>want it
i want a lot of thing, superpowers would be cool, i dont expect to get superpowers tho
>the brain works
i learn from experience
experience taught me things never get better, they get worse
>reciver
doesnt recover imply there is some state to get back to? my life was always bad

>>18226236
Maybe if you could take a step back and see how you're acting you would know what I mean. But, it's up to you. Like I said, no one else can cure your depression. It's literally only you that can do anything about it. I know that for a fact.

Even when I was depressed I didn't act like this. You've got to take a grasp on this, because at this rate you're spiralling further. I mean, you're clearly adding a slant to the stuff I say that makes it seem like I'm not being helpful. But you're right, you'll never recover because you don't want to. You'd rather just "accept" this is how it is, that you'll never "be happy". You're missing the point. Nobody is happy all the time, you've got to appreciate the times happiness is there.

Do what you want, I'm not replying to you anymore. Think about what I said, and act on it. Or don't, it's your life.

>>18226244
>Even when I was depressed I didn't act like this
im not feeling depressed right now, im feeling angry
i couldnt be bothered to type this much or do anything really if i was depressed right now
>you dont want to recover
i want to recover, i dont expect to recover, if i expect to recover i will only end up feeling worse when it doesnt happen and then maybe i try to kill myself again who knows?
>nobody is happy all the time
but some people are never happy

>>18226223
>suppossed to enjoy the most
Nah. The best part of life is when nobody is telling you what to do anymore. Now i am old enough to know that swallowing leggo is bad idea, but i finally have freedom to do so without annoying parents yelling at me to not do that.

And sure, you have problems which were caused by shit upbringing, but using it constantly as an excuse wont improve your life in any way.

I am sorry for sounding like an asshole to you, but that is probably part of your
>i isolate myself
problem. You see, if you never give anybody chance to prove themselves, you will stay alone forever.

Your attitude is the biggest problem. You throw all advice to trash, blame everybody and dont do any step forward to solutions.

Also if you havent started uni, consider getting some job. It is bad idea to waste time in uni if you dont have dedication for that.

I would like to help you, but you certainly arent making it easy for me.

What are you going to do tommorow to improve your life? I want to hear. Even small step forward is better than this.

>>18226257
>and dont do any step forward to solutions
so going to college, going on long walks and going to the doctor is nothing now? great
>you arent making it easy
can you even help me at all?
>tomorrow
i have dinner with my grandma for easter because i refuse to show up to have lunch if my mom is there
not much else, i was suppossed to study this week, i didnt, we are not seeing snything hard yet but im pussosed to study in advance wich i havent done yet
i could draw i guess, but i dont plan on drwing i do so when i feel like it

>>18226268
Dude. Stop attacking people. Give them a chance before you disregard them like trash they are. I dont know your life like you. You came here for help with something /adv/ is not very effective in the first place.

We can try talk you out of your misery by making your problems as non problems or easy to solve ones.

Stop being fat, post your art online (devian art?) so you can bask in glory of admires and hates and more importantly, why dont you want to hang with mom?

As far as i know she didnt abuse you. Also studying beforehand is a meme. Nobody in human history was able to force themselves to do that unless they were interested in the subject beforehand.

Dont be so hard on yourself. Also long walks are probably good for you, but losing weigth is 90% food, 9% genetics and 1% sport.

Good luck on your quest and forgive me if i sounded rude to you, i simply dont know any better.

>>18226322
i want to post my work online but im not good enough yet
my mom is just as bad as him
im just tired of all this shit, i didnt deserve this and now im stuck not being able to fix any of it and it get worse every year
this has costed me so much and it continues to, not getting depressed right now seems impossible

>>18226363
>not good enough
Nonsence. Part of socialization is to learn how to deal with various behavior. Yes, dealing with shit comments on your art is one way how to do it. It can also boosts your ego and help with depression thing. Draw naked girls to attract views instantly.

It will get better. Cheers and upload your art.