Long-term girlfriend suspicions

>>18225668
If you are unhappy and it's not changing despite the talks, just end it. You might miss opportunities for meeting a better girl, if you keep messing around with this one.

Talk. Seriously. You've been together two plus years. Your should be able to do that by now.

If neither of you are happy anymore and you don't have the will to fix that, bounce.

End things amicable while you can, and while you don't hate each others guts.

>Please excuse my brevity. This is sent from my iPad Air and I'm tired as duck, sleep deprived, and just typing random shit now because it makes me giggle

>she doesn't know why she's not attracted to me

Have some self respect and dump her. You know what road this is headed down, you're just refusing to acknowledge it.

>>18225677

I am pretty unhappy and have my doubts about the future of the relationship now -- but I never did before all of this happened.

We have our glimmers of good moments despite the rockiness, so that's probably what keeps me in the relationship.

>>18225690

A huge problem I had was weak self-confidence. I used to be so self-confident when I was single. I'm getting my self respect back and not taking any more shit... I mean for example on our recent vacation she was drunk and said "I'm going to fuck these guys" when I said we had to get going because we were going to miss our boat.

Jesus, writing this out it sure does sound awful.

She's not interested in you and is interested in someone else. You might as well let this one go.

>>18225677
>>18225685
>>18225690

I should also say that now she wants to rent a place and move in together.

Very confusing since we were basically on the verge of breaking up 1 month ago?

>>18225668
No mystery here, why can't you see it? She's into another guy. Relationship is done.

>>18225710

But I'm good looking, fit, and a hell of a nice guy. Why would she go elsewhere? It just doesn't make logical sense considering the other guy is like a 6 or a 7.

>>18225691
>>18225698
Just end the relationship, OP. I'm sure in 2 months or so after the break up you will realize a lot more wrong with the relationship. You will think about all of it more clearly. Here's a thing. I myself broke up from a 1+ year relationship recently. The reason being I didn't connect with the girl, mostly. But now it's like "WHAT IN THE FUCK WAS I DOING??" the more days it has been. I just realized that when we went for coffee somewhere as a couple she would have her cellphone in her hand and browse or some shit. What. It's like I didn't have any self respect. It's weird, man. Relationship easily becomes a... thing... that you have. That's why it's hard to just end it even when you will feel so much better afterwards. By the way I had to make the decision with my brain to end it, because the sex was regular. Now I feel amazing and am still single. Waiting for that dream woman to appear...

>>18225717

I had been in a 2 year relationship before, and that's how I totally felt after the fact. It's almost like I've forgotten that "it'll all be OK" in the end

>>18225707
>I should also say that now she wants to rent a place and move in together.
>confusing

Probably the concept as when couples think getting married/having a child/getting a dog will fix things.

They somehow trick themselves in to thinking that a shared responsibility and commitment will magically make things better.

I don't know if that's what she's ACTUALLY thinking, and even if she is, she probably has neve consciously had that thought, but either way: Do Not Do It. Not until your current issues are resolved.

I will repeat.

Moving in together will not fix things right now. Only add MORE complications.


But stop talking to us. Talk to her.

>>18225725

That's exactly what I plan on doing -- talking to her and resolving our issues before making that step and moving in together. I mean, if we can't resolve these issues, then there's no point in moving in together, and thus no point in staying in a relationship.

She usually is just quiet when I try to talk seriously, or will get defensive (even though I approach topics like sex in a very calm manner). But this, she won't be able to run away from.

>>18225725

Btw, we both live at home right now and we used to have sex all the time at night. But now she says she doesn't "feel comfortable" doing that because she doesn't feel like "sneaking around" with my parents at home.

And even when parents are not at home, she doesn't want to. And then when we were alone for a week, we only did it ONCE.

I thought her justification to move out was so that she would feel more comfortable having sex, but I feel like that's just bullshit.

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>>18225729
C'mon maaaan. You're in that confused state right now as we speak. And that makes you unable to see the truth. She's not willing to fix your relationship despite the opportunities she's had from you to talk and fix it. Instead she's throwing in more shit like this colleague. Talking to him at night instead of talking with you. Wanting to move together. Such a big step for anyone's relationship and she wants to do that instead of just talking and working for a happy relationship. Snap out of it, man! End it today. You will thank me in 2 months. You'll probably meet some goddess and while you're fucking her in a doggystyle after you talked like a true couple and had romantic night, you will think about that one anon on that creepy site and be fucking thankful!...

You're welcome, btw, but please. Do it!

>>18225748

Haha you know what man, I really appreciate it. Thank you. I realize I sound like such an idiot when I read this all of these problems typed out. Time to take action. Once again, thank you.

>>18225668
>Says she's confused
>Says she doesn't know whether she wants to be dating you
>Says she's not attracted to you
Bud even if you want to ignore the very obvious warning signs that she's also cheating on you (or about to), it's time to call it quits with this one. Have one last heartfelt sit-down talk with her to try to solve the problems with your relationship, and if you can't, break up. Either she'll stop being "confused" real quick or you'll find someone better for you later on. A one-sided non-relationship is not worth any further emotional energy from you.

>>18225762
You know when you've found the right one when she doesn't give a fuck when you're fucking in the same house as your parents. Or the same room...

>>18225771

Haha back in the beginning she was like that ..

>>18225784
...or the same bed ;)

Forgot to add that.

Thank me once you're fucking that goddess in doggy position. I try to to be doing that very same thing when that's going on...

>>18225716
I think you're old enough to know that feelings don't follow logic. If he makes her feel excited and you don't then it doesn't matter who's "better".

>>18225796

True enough. Some people just are not compatible long-term, I suppose

>>18225668
The passcode on the phone would be completely irrelevant had she put it/had it on before things in your relationship started going downhill. Considering the other circumstances though, it likely means she feels like she has something to hide from you. She's probably cheating, or intending on doing it. Break up with her unless you want to deal with a lot of pain and disappointment.

My (ex) girlfriend of 1.5 years and I had a similar falling out. She got distant and fell out of love with me, started hiding things from me, texting a lot while we were together. Turned out she was cheating.

She changed her mind about it and tried to crawl back to me when the guy turned out to be worthless.

Point of the story is, don't be her home base. Have a conversation with her, demand honesty. Maybe you can work things out with her. Good luck.

>>18225864

I totally agree. I really want to see what's on that phone. How do I breach the topic of needing to see her phone, without her pulling the "Oh you don't trust me!" card.

I've tried asking to see her phone before and she just calls me annoying, and then 10 minutes later she'll be like, "OK you can look now" ... yeah as if.

>>18225892
You can't. And even if she lets you see the phone, she's gonna do what you said she's done and give it to you later (likely after deleting anything incriminating). You should definitely break up with her. The chances that she isn't cheating on you are slim to none.

>>18225892
>I've tried asking to see her phone before and she just calls me annoying, and then 10 minutes later she'll be like, "OK you can look now" ... yeah as if.
Yikes. Combined with the other stuff, I don't know how much more obvious it can be that she's cheating on you short of you actually walking in on her during the act.

>>18225899
>>18225903

>>18225899

Hmm in a strange way I want you to be right, just so that her behavior makes concrete SENSE: but where would she even GET the time to cheat? She's 90% of the time with me during her free time.

>>18225907
Everytime someone suspects getting cheated on, I've noticed this trend of "but we're together during all of her/his free time", and it's usually never actually the case. If someone wants to cheat, they can and will make time for it, and the person getting cheated on likely has zero clue of what happening.

Of course, she could always just be sexting another guy as opposed to actually physically cheating on you.
All of the things you've mentioned and the timing of it all makes it pretty obvious that something is going on though. She's definitely trying to hide something from you.

>>18225668
In my experience her words and actions mean she has already checked out of the relationship and doesn't have the will to make a clean break from it.
You need to express your concerns to her and have a sit down to talk it over.

>>18225982

She's actually used that phrase, "I've checked out and I don't know why" during our rockiest phase about a month ago. Should've dumped her then

>>18225993
Fucking bail man.

>>18225698
It does sound awful and more and more shit will come to light as you're honest, it's like another anon in the thread said. Give it 2 months and your brain will start unraveling from its phallus-driven grandiosity. This bitch has been completely fucking rude to you.

>>18225707
DUDE NO NO NO NO NO
My last girlfriend tried this shit. "Hey I know every other time we talk it's an argument and we're getting steadily more conceited and unfulfilled with eachother but when can I move into your place?"
Bail bro, I was even getting a decent amount of sex but I ended it because she was making me miserable. DO NOT WANT, the next month or so it was hard to forget about her but as I thought more and more I realized she was a disrespectful cunt in a lot of ways but my phallus feelers were cutting off oxygen to my brain. Rid yourself of this crazy woman

>>18226077

Man... everyone around me agrees that she's a complete cunt to me 60% of the time.

I think the fact that she's good looking is the only thing keeping me here. But then I think that's just because I want to have sex and it's been another month without it -- when realistically I could just fuck another girl easier than her

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>>18226097
Listen to your friends bro. Think about it this way, if you had a dude friend that you spent a lot of time with and he treated you the same way she does 100% of the time, would you respect him or want to spend time with him?
Especially if a significant other is avoiding intimacy or incapable of it they're no more special than a platonic friend and therefore shouldn't garner special privileges in my opinion.

I think your friends are right and you need a good solid dickpunch man.

No shame though, you got 2,000,000,000 years or whatever of biology working against you, happens to the best of us.

>>18226141

God bless all of you anons. You don't think it's selfish that I'm this concerned about sex and intimacy?

>>18226153

in the sense that I highly value sex and intimacy in the relationship.

She's definitely cheating on you... playing it safe by saying she doesn't know what's going on so you'll have to be obliged to end the relationship yourself and free her. You need to fucking bail out dude

>>18226153
Why are you in a relationship with someone who doesn't provide you with intimacy? Nah it ain't selfish man. Good luck to her if she wants to find someone who will enjoy a "relationship" where she hints and makes obvious implications at the possibility of cheating, essentially tells you you're not attractive and then has the nerve to suggest you should get an apartment instead of breaking up if she wants some other dick. By the by that thing where she tells you "I just don't find you attractive anymore when I know you're good looking" fuck that. That's a way for her to alleviate guilt by giving you an offhanded compliment so she can avoid telling you why she's not attracted to you anymore. You aren't selfish man, she's just a wishy-washy bitch.

>>18226168

Yup this is all starting to make more sense. She would say "well what do you want to do then?" and imply that I should be the one to make the call for a "break" or otherwise end it.