I have a serious problem with my girlfriend. All femanons and

My girlfriend and I have a lot of issues but most of them are trivial and only result in her being pissed for an hour and then calming down again. Anyways, today was really bad. We made out a bunch and she got quite horny, as did I but I couldn't get a proper boner. Thought it was due the fact that I really needed to take a piss and so I did. Afterwards we tried to have sex but I couldn't keep a boner. Thought it was due the fact that I was hungry as fuck. She didn't believe me and thought I was making excuses. She got all sad and started posting in a thread here (will post screencap). She said she thinks it's her fault, that I don't find her attractive enough (which is utter bullshit, she is the most beautiful creature under god's sun) So I thought this has to be on me. I got on /gif and looked for a proper thread and still couldn't get a boner. After some searching I found something that aroused me and hence a boner. Told my gf and she wanted to get in. We sat down and watched shitty porn while she was stroking my dick and I fiddled around in her panties until she said "let's fuck", and so we did. I was really horny and so it was over quite fast. We hopped into the shower and she had this slightly sad/pissed look on her face. Asked her if everything was Ok, she said no but she won't talk about it with me.
>fuckyou.png
We sat down, had a cigarette, she started talking.
>it's fucking obvious, anon.
>It's me and you won't tell me because you always tell me what I want to hear.
>I don't believe you, anon

So here's my problem. The women I love won't believe me shit.

>>18222608
Your girl's got two problems:
1) Low self-esteem
2) The belief that it is impossible for a man to not be in the mood for sex

Has there ever been a time when you wanted to have sex and she wasn't in the mood? If so, point that out to her. Ask her whether that was the result of her finding your unattractive or something else. Explain that it's the exact same situation for you. If she keeps trying to turn it into a pity party for herself, tell her that you don't appreciate having her take your inability to perform sexually on demand as a personal affront.

My wife used to do this all the time; trust me, you can tell her how attractive she is until you're blue in the face and nothing will change. Unfortunately, the solution here is to find a way to snap her out of it with logic, not to keep stroking her ego (even if you mean every word you say from the bottom of your heart). You need to make her understand that, because of how much you care about and love her, it's hurtful for you to have to listen to her not only putting herself down but pinning the blame for her negative feelings about herself on you.

>>18222627

Thanks anon, some good advice right there. I tried it with logic and said to her that there have been plenty times when I was in the mood but she wasn't. She accepted that and said to me that for future reference I should tell her when I'm not in the mood and not force myself to sleep with her because that is what makes her feel shitty.
>how would you like it if I started faking orgasms?
I totally got that and thought the issue was resolved until I tried to get a boner and the whole thing got real shitty.

She has a lot of trust issues towards me because her last relationship was basically build on lies and destroyed her pretty much. She won't believe me anything because she know's that I lie a lot about the most banally things although I try to be as honest as possible towards her without hurting her. I sometimes feel like she wouldn't handle the truth and I couldn't stand the thought of hurting her since she's already quite fragile. I sometimes feel like this whole relationship was build on quicksand and sooner or later we will suffocate each other with our insecurities and narcissistic self hate.

Also yes, you're right. Her self-esteem is very very very low.

>>18222656
There are definitely some issues for the two of you to work around in the long term, but it's nothing that can't be resolved with a lot of patience and understanding (from both sides). Promise to be honest with her; even if you have a habit of telling other people what they want to hear, let her know that you'll always be sincere with her because she means a lot to you and you know that open honesty means a lot to her.

Also, in general, try to drop that habit. I know it's a really easy thing to do without thinking, but there are really very few situations in life where it's not more trouble than it's worth to try making everyone around you happy. Try to catch yourself doing it until you learn not to do it at all.

>>18222700
>>18222700
Thing is, that's actually a quite new habit. I remember in my early teenage years I was that edgy kid who told everyone what he thought with all honesty. Some people found it cool and refreshing but it actually got me nowhere. Lot of people hated me for it and half the city knows me now for being a twat. Thought it would be easier to go through life like this but it's not really easier it's just that all my friendships are superficial and shallow now and the only honest friend I have I cannot stand half of the time. But you're right, I'm 20 now and I should get rid of that habit. Time to grow up and all that shite.