depression

>>18220983
I usually think about how killing myself would hopefully be detrimental to some people which makes me feel guilty so i push it off another day.

>>18220983
Force yourself to do things. Just because you have no friends right mow doesnt mean you cant. Go out, be social. Any old things you enjoyed, try doing them again and eventually youll like it again. Dont give up on yourself. Be the person you want to be, not who you think yourself to be.

Maybe/possibly in the same boat as you, OP.

I'm not exactly hateful or spiteful of the world, I just feel bored of everything.
I also rely on /lit/ for any social contact

Are these red flags?
I'm young, though, maybe these are passings.

>>18221005
31 male
Very similar, sept not /lit/.
Live alone, rarely leave the house, live 10 or so minutes from the beach, rarely go there. Live 6-7 minutes from a very active pub, don't go there anymore (only once a year now for a highlight of the year event). Starting to feel like I should make a change, but frankly, most shit, no matter how interesting gets boring.
Gonna pick up a soldering hobby, electronics, etc. The only girl I'm interested in is a noise musician from a few states away. Just wake up, go to work, clock out, drive home, drive somewhere quiet on my days off.

meh.

>>18220989
ive done that for years, but i cant go on anymore

>>18221025
what keeps you alive? sound like a boring life

>>18221047
The prospect of being in a relationship with an awesome woman.

I can change my programming at any time. But I choose to remain this way willingly. I want to hold on to time, and release it all into the person I want in my life. If she rejects me, then with that same energy I will love someone else. But I would rather choose exactly that person.

>>18221073
have you had luck with women in the past? i havent and this is one of my main reasons for depression

>>18221025
Since when did american start using "pub"?

You know that feeling you get when you conquer a fear or a task or achieve a goal. That sense of pride and accomplishment. Think about this period in your life as another challenge and face it head on. Write down what's giving you this stress and then brainstorm ways to fix it. Dwelling in it will worsen your depression so try to problem solve. Next get a journal use a phone or whatever you choose to write down something good about every day. Granted some days will be harder than others but try to be consistent. It could be a compliment you receive, a funny joke you heard, a good experience, watching the sun set. Anything that helps remind you that your life is special. If u have a bad day you can look back on these writings to help lift your spirits. You can also distract yourself with books or art or sports or anything your passionate about. if you don't know your passions try different things to find them. When you look back at this you will have that feeling of accomplishment for making it through your struggles. I'm not saying your problems are unimportant but when I am down I also think of the people who have been oppressed for example many Jews who were tortured and murdered who lost their families and friends. Even so many persevered and made it out alive. That's strength and I think that we owe it to ourselves to give life everything we have because we are blessed. We came from the strongest sperm at the perfect moment to become a human being. Try to appreciate the beauty of the world and the beauty inside you. Really sorry I got carried away

>>18221078
Sure. But I haven't been in a relationship in years. And not without trying frankly. But I'm not interested in this chase mentality, I'm bored more than anything, by anxiety and desperation, as if they were people in my life. I want to be the reset button to all this shit. My request is simple, love and peace of mind.

>>18221084
It's an English type pub around here

>>18220983
You have given virtually nothing about yourself/life so I'm going to ramble on about why I use to feel the same way you do. Maybe we'll figure something out.

First off, I'd like to tell you don't give up. As dark as it seems, there really is light at the end of the tunnel. It might seem like it's endless, but nothing is forever; there really is an end to the tunnel and the sun will shine again. A mental health professional will probably get you to the end much faster than if you try on your own.

>i have no friends
that's probably a huge part right there.

You probably have a shit dead-end job, just like I did.
You probably get less than 8 hours of sleep every night, just like I use to.
You probably have a huge source of negativity/stress in your life (like 4chan).
You're probably bored.

I really felt like flooring it and driving into a tree or something just to end it all.
Finally, I got off my ass and started eliminating things like I've mentioned above. Just going to college can eliminate 2 (getting friends, something to do) of those things, and put you on the right track for eliminating a 3rd (losing the dead end job).

Stop browsing the internet, especially sites like 4chan. I swear it's just trolls, marketing BS and retards now days. When I stopped browsing the web I felt much better. It took a couple weeks but it really helped a lot. Now I only get on for an hour or two per week tops. Keep tabs on how much news you watch on TV, too. Facebook really seemed to keep me down, too, for some reason.

Sleep makes a huge difference, too. Don't go convincing yourself you're one of those freaks who needs only like 5 hours per night. You need 8. You might be able to get by with 7 each night if you sleep in a lot on the week ends. But get 8. Eight is the magic number.

>>18221092
So how is the one going to fall in your lap?

>>18221113
She will only perform here one time next year. My plan is simply to chat with her, get to know her better, if she's down I'll dance with her. If she likes me, I'll convince her to ditch the place with me and go somewhere quieter. I'd like to take her on a date somewhere just us two. If things don't go as planned, I'd still enjoy the show.

>>18221110
thanks for the post. i still dont feel like living but reading your post made me for better for a couple seconds.

>>18220983
I stay by myself and suffer. I keep everything to myself. None of my friends or family know.

Its okay as long as I dont affect anyone else.

>>18221143
Same boat bro. But it's making me just a tiny bit stronger.. this will come in handy someday..

>>18221041
Then just end it man. Don't drag that shit on.

>>18221153
i should. im just a coward

>>18221158
Aren't we all? The fear is all a lot of us have. I see fading every now and then but it's still quite the beast.

>>18221160
i've thought about trying to "force" myself into killing myself. like, i could send everyone in my contacts something embarrassing. or whatever, you get the idea

>>18221166
you are not cowards ,but strong men. fear is not weakness. it keeps you alive. don't give in to yolo mentality, value life because if you dont no one else will. the point of life is in your hands. it has always been with you, you are the point of life. try not to look or think about other's in jealousy, because you don't know them inside they could be suffering. hold on to what you have, just ride out the storm, you are what's important not the feelings of despair and sadness. You are more valuable than anything you can think of. the whole universe works through you, depends on you. you are the center that everything revolves around, all wait for you and sit patiently in respect. If man only knew how much power he possessed. with a flick of his wrist whole galaxies move that he can't see.

>>18220983
Travel

>>18221110
I think this is the best advice here

Play saya no uta

Anon I feel like you do most all of the time.

The brain is an organ and currently it's being battered by feelbad neuron signals and shit. This is because of reasons, both controllable and uncontrollable, but the main takeaway I gave give you is that the feelbads are cyclical in a way.
Distractions wear, but they are really good for just relieving your brain of feelbads, and I suggest you do something like watch a tv or download old vidya ROMs