Sexless Relationship

>>18219728
You forgot to ask question.

Is she on hormonal anticonception? Is she fat? Have you ever gave her orgasm? Isnt she just faking it? Do you even love her? Why are you together?

Not sure what to ask, really. I want more sex, she doesn't. Dunno how to proceed.

She's got a copper IUD, so no hormones the entire time we've been together. She isn't fat, but she has gained about 15lb in the past year.
I've given her orgasms but she's often not into having her clit touched. She doesn't masturbate or own any sex toys. Doesn't want anal, claims she doesn't have any fantasies. Despite this we had great sex for 2+ years.

She agreed to make Sundays our date/together time, but often flakes out saying she's too tired.
I love her, and we have a good, communicative relationship for the most part. We match well intellectually and
She's trying to start a business and I'm helping with that. We moved 800mi to start this ranch together. We could disentangle our lives fairly easily (we aren't married, so no divorce legality) but I'm not ready to take that step.

Sounds like she isn't willing to try.

>>18220081
Sounds like she didnt like sex from start and just put up the show to keep you. Now she takes you for granted, so she stopped trying.

Or she lost "spark". Some females are like that. Once the routine sets in, the lose the drive.

And the part with clit sounds strange. You sure she wasnt faking orgasms?

Try different aproach. Tell her that you as male definitely need sex. That without it, you feel worthless for her. See the reaction. Suggesting open relationship (fucking other girls with her approval) sounds like very risky move. Be prepared for the worst.

>>18221223
This

>>18220081
Went thru the same shit, endometriosis lupron Plus depo shots sent us on a summer break where we both slept around, do what ya gotta do tho, sometimes it takes going thru shit to set things in perspective

>>18221223
Interesting. What do you mean by "feeling worthless for her?"

We've been talking about this, off-and-on, for a while now. I'm going to bring it up again this sunday.

I suppose she could be faking it, but it seems she just has a low sex drive. Never met a girl who didn't always enjoy clit stimulation, but there's a first for everything.

Of course there's always the possibility I'm just shit at sex and she's lost interest.

>>18221223
>as a male
She as a female needs it just as much. I agree that she probably wasn't that into it from the start, and that's the root of the problem. Even if she was into it at first and then changed, it's still worth seeking help so that both of you can enjoy physical intimacy together. Try a sex therapist or couples counseling.

>>18221392
Sorry to say this, but your girlfriend might be a lesbian in the closet. I've seen similar cases. She loves you, but what would possibly drive her mad in bed would be intimacy with another woman.

Cheating is a risky option. What could help is if you first try to discover if she would be willing to do a kind of threesome. You both would choose and pick a girl, then you see how excited she gets as things move forward.

If confirmed as Lesbian it ain't bad. You'll get more threesomes and opportunities to fuck other girls without cheating.

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Read this book and run the MAP

>>18221570
Excellent, thanks. I've heard about this book before, will check it out

>>18221490
Would be down with this. Kinda doubt she's full lesbian though. Before we moved she pointed out a girl at the food coop she went on a date with. Said it was akward. I like to discuss sex and attraction with my partners but she's not into it. Like when I'm out and see a hot girl, I'd point her out and talk about what/why she's attractive to me. Encouraged my girl to do the same but she was not receptive. I don't do that anymore, which is disappointing because I think it's a fun way to build intimacy and share desires.

>>18222469
Would say this confirms the latent attraction to women. It's not easy for her and she is very likely in conflict, thinking something is wrong with her for liking women too.

Like you said, most men are quite OK with a threesome. Don't mention that you know about her attraction to women. Next time when having sex, whisper in her ears an erotic story where she has to satisfy an other woman while you watch. Ask her how would that woman be touching her, and replicate that with your hands. Watch and observe..

>>18222773
This

My gf was bicurious and she still struggles with admiting that she's totally bi even after a few threesomes where she came heaps with another girl

You have to be more reassuring op

>>18222782
lol what's being with a bi like?

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>>18221404
>couples counseling
We were going to counseling before we moved, for different reasons, and it was really helpful. Now we live too far from town, and are too poor to afford that.

>>18222773
>>18222782
>Struggles with attraction to women
I think some pieces are coming together here, but I don't think it's the whole story. She's made some off-hand comments about fucking women, but not in a while. I thought I was accepting and non-judgemental but clearly I didn't handle things well. I've tried to be supportive and encourage her to talk about that, and other things, but without much result. I know from our therapy sessions that she has trust issues so I'll work on exploring that.

>>18222991
I don't think getting her to talk is the answer because herself doesn't have a clue about what is happening and it is something too intimate to share. You are very outgoing so this might blunder your capacity to see that she isn't comfortable, nor willing to talk.

For that matter, counselling is counterproductive. Like mentioned before, take a soft approach. Help her realize her fantasies with you next to her. Start with storytelling, then of you see excitement grow that action to one day bring a female that you both agree. I'm talking from experience.

Closet lesbians give outstanding sex when you learn how to push the right buttons, and they'll be faithful to you. Like you noted, great women to build a life together.

>>18219728
OP. You are doing EXACTLY what you should be. State your need for more sex, from somewhere else if need be, and end the conversation. Don't get emotional if she does use logic. You have needs shes not fulfilling. End of story. Any problems with her is not a factor. If there is something she needs to fix to start having sex again let her do it while you handle your issue. Her keeping your dick hostage while she just now decides to fix the issue is not a valid solution.