So I just got dumped by my bf and I'm feeling really terrible.

>My biggest fear is having to take care of myself
t. the modern woman

I'm not talking about money, it doesn't involve that. I just can't stand the thought of being alone in the world. Btw, I'm a guy, not that it should matter either way, the pain is real just the same

>>18217655
>>18217671
If you are afraid of being alone, take steps to not be alone. Whatever that means, for you. Look to meet new friends or a new BF, or join a community for a hobby or religion or something.

Once you know you aren't alone, you won't have a reason to worry about it.

That sucks OP. Do you have anyone to talk to irl about this? Friends, sister, mother, aunt?

>>18217678
Thank you, I'll try. I feel so guilty coming on here and making an ass of myself by acting so foolish, but I'm in so much pain right now

>>18217695
That's why we're anonymous, right? Nothing to fear here.

>>18217685
No, no one. I'm terribly shy so it's hard for me to make friends. All of my close family has passed unfortunately

>>18217697
Yeah, you're right. I'm just not used to opening up to people and asking for help

>>18217704
Can you talk to a counselor or something like that?
I had a breakup recently and didn't really have any friends to talk about it with and going to a counselor was helpful I think to put it in perspective. It's hard being alone again I get that, I was really mad at myself for problems I had that I thought screwed up the relationship, mainly anxiety type stuff. I realised though that if I kept beating myself up about it I'd never actually get any better and deal with those problems so I could find a new partner or some other way to be happy. I also found that blaming yourself is just another kind of vanity, "If only I had done X, Y, and Z it would have worked out" when really I don't know that, maybe she would have moved on anyway, maybe we weren't as well suited as I imagined we were, I can't really know how she felt. Now I'm just working on myself so I have a better chance next time. It's really the only thing you can do.

>>18217659
>modern

>>18217655
Get drunk and shitpost on /adv/ like I do

That aside, you gotta get used to being alone.
More than that.
You come to realize that you were always alone.

Look mate. If you can't handle yourself with just yourself, how can you expect someone else to handle you?

>>18217851
I guess you're right, I hadn't thought about it like that

>>18217774
No, but I have considered calling 1-800-237-talk but I'm too afraid of what would happen if I did

>>18217873
What do you think is the worst possible outcome?

>>18217878
I'll die alone, I don't want to die alone

>>18217873
Are you worried about being committed or something? I'm not american so I don't know how it works but in my country there's numbers you can call to talk about all kinds of stuff. It'll probably be fine unless you're an immediate risk to yourself, in which case maybe you do need observation.

>>18217882
No, I mean when you call the number.

>>18217865
Hit the gym, read books, learn to cook
Be proud of yourself.

Everyone else has always been just an accessory to your own life.
Everyone is just passing through

>>18217889
>Everyone else has always been just an accessory to your own life.
>Everyone is just passing through

This doesn't really seem like a comforting thought.

>>18217885
Truthfully yes, I'm afraid they'll think I'm crazy and call the police

Best advice is lets play monster hunter together.

Jokes aside, i've been there and theres really no real way to cope immediately. Time is the best ally here, it took me a solid 2 years of cocooning myself off from the world before i started feeling better again. But that really changes from person to person. Try to avoid your minds initial impulses. you might feel inclined to try and do things you two would do together or had plans to but by yourself, potentially spending ludicrous money on it, and not really getting the same satisfaction from it. Take the time you need, lick your wounds, and realize that the person you used to love is, for all intents and purposes. dead. Don't become friends until you've come to terms with never having the person you loved back. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTuDks4ogs0 (good watch on this subject)

Lastly, the biggest thing thats going to help you is to forgive not just them, but yourself. and let it go.

Best of luck.

>>18217888
I'm afraid they won't care or understand

Oh yeah, before i forget. Listen to some sad songs that'll jerk the tears out of you. You'll drain that tank faster that way.

>>18217893
It's not
Life isn't comfortable
And that's ok
Being uncomfortable can feel good.

Life isn't about being happy all the time. It's about making happiness.

>>18217911
Right now it seems like I'll never be happy again though, it hurts too much

>>18217918
You will be though!
That's what's great.
You will be.

This is apart of you now
You know this low. You know this pain.
And it can't ever happen as strong as it is now.
That's good.

To come out of this hole, find the small things. Cooking, working, exercising, appreciating nature.
Over time, this emotional pain will fade.

>>18217929
I'm really scared though, I don't know what to do

>>18217930
If you can think of even one thing that will make your life better, do that. I'm trying to get my driver's licence.

>>18217930
There isn't any.
Just one day and the next

Like I said, focus on the small things
They're distractions
But distractions are what you need

You'll make it and be better
I started getting fit because I got dumped a few years back
It really shook me up.
But that led me to a whole new life.
I started jogging because of it and that led me to the gym and now I'd never let that go.

It's scary and unknown now. But you'll come out of it better.
Read books, eat food, work out.
You can do it.

>>18217901
Their entire job is to care and understand. People who volunteer for help lines want you to know that you aren't alone.