Feel small and weak

>>18216702
Try some more confidence boosting activies. Have you considered martial arts? Weights are great but they dont give you the same mental confidence that knowledge in fighting does.

There's nothing wrong with the way you feel, honestly but you shouldn't suppress it. Have you tried telling the police? Maybe get some help to recover. You shouldn't deal with this alone.

>>18216702
Go to a therepist

Everyone who got diddled has psych issues. I work at a drug rehab and like half of our patients were diddled or raped

>>18216707
I had considered opening a case about it when I was 18, but when I searched the woman up she had apparently commit suicide.

>>18216702
You need to talk about your trauma in a supportive atmosphere.

You will feel more like a real man if you get a big truck, and use it to perform labor. Get to the point where you can build your own home and feel safe inside, independent.

Do not lie about your emotional condition.

You can say more about how you feel residually inadequate.

>>18216705

Do not recommend martial arts training to people who have trauma issues from being mishandled as minors.

>>18216723
Why? Learning how to deal with touch in a structured educational setting, and acquiring knowledge in self defence would be very beneficial.

>>18216739
>Learning how to deal with touch in a structured educational setting

This is how support groups, and massage therapy are used.

>acquiring knowledge in self defence would be very beneficial.

No, you need to build up the knowledge of what qualifies as a safe touch; then you can understand when it is necessary to defend yourself.

>trauma issues from being mishandled as minors.

I am relating to OP from my own experience.

You're not going to magically feel like a man if you do x or y thing. You need to come to terms with what happened. You can only stop identifying with your ten year old victim if you can acknowledge that what happened was terrible, and you were just a child (all children being helpless), and nowadays if you could have a face down with her you would protect your childhood self and fuck that bitch up.

Basically you feel helpless because you have not fully healed from what happened and you need to distance yourself from the memories. That can (counter-intuitively, I know) only happen if you work through them and experience the hurt in a safe setting, while realizing simultaneously how far you've moved on, how much older you've become, the ways in which you grew up and changed.

Find a good therapist. Think about whether you want a man (safer, does not remind you of abuser) or a woman (confronts you more directly with the memory of your abuser). Look for someone you feel understands you, that you have a good connection with. Therapy is interpersonal coaching, the single most important thing is that you're on the same wavelength with your therapist, trust and respect them.

Best of luck.

>>18216745
Did you take a martial arts class and sperg out? OP says hes /fit/ so he understands the concept of training, he can approach martial arts with the same attitude. Also, stop tripfagging.

>>18216763
>Did you take a martial arts class and sperg out?

Is this thread about me, now?

>OP says hes /fit/ so he understands the concept of training

Training and touching are two different things.

>he can approach martial arts with the same attitude

Says no psych professional with whom I have spoken.

>Also, stop tripfagging.

Then, maybe you should not ask me questions about myself.

>>18216822
Youre a fucking annoying tripfag, stop acting like youve done psychological research on trauma victims and martial arts. Youre making OP sound much worse than he actually is, he has friends, gets girls, but just feels "unmasculine", he doesnt freak out when being touched like you do.