Struggle to Like Myself

I used to berate myself really harshly when I fucked up. It started as me trying to be lighthearted but eventually I realized I was starting to believe it.

Eventually I came across the advice that in hindsight should be obvious : you'd never talk to your friends the way you talk to yourself.

I still do it, but not at much and not as harshly. I try to recognize my flaws in proper perspective, and give myself credit for my strengths more.

>>18215432
Thats a good state of mind but hard to implement for me. I suppose i have to force it.

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>>18215444
I know this is going to sound gay as hell, but we're on a Mongolian basket weaving board. Have you ever seen Neon Genesis Evangelion?

It might be worth a watch, if you like anime.

>>18215451
Yea its a good show, but why would you recommend that. It makes me depressed more than anything. Especially if you watch EoE

>>18215453
Because of the last five minutes of episode 26, where Shinji understands that he is allowed to like himself.
Its the culmination of the entire series.

>>18215457
Okay, watching a cartoon character realize that he can like himself doesnt allow me to break that same wall. Its fucking easier said than done. Is evangelion really what helped you improve?

>>18215467
Not most recently, but it helped me when I was a teenager.

Most recently i just realized that of course I would never say anything so horrible to anyone else that I say about myself. Because nobody would.

So yeah, make a conscious effort to be nicer to yourself.

>>18215473
Alright. Im gonna try an excercise in positive thinking.

>>18215419
>pursuing things i want

If you hate yourself, I'm afraid none of the things you pursue are actual things you want. People with no stable sense of self do not experience authentic desire. Google "identity disturbance" and see if any of that rings true for you.

>talking to women

Do you actually want to talk to women? Or do you think someone "like you" should want to talk to women?

>seeking new job opportunities

Disregarding the MONEY which you need for survival, do you actually want that job? Let's say you had the opportunity to get a high profile "well respected" job, do you think you'd do it for yourself or because society would think less of you for passing up such a "great opportunity"? What if you happened to be particularly talented in a lucrative field? Would you be able to separate "I should do this because I seem to have a knack for it and it makes me money" from "I actually want to spend my life doing this"? Can you separate skill in a field from actual desire to engage in that field?

>achieving goals

Are those goals well thought out or does it feel like they randomly manifested in your mind some time in the distant past?


Not to be rude, but I'm going to guess none of your "friends" actually know how much you hate yourself. You are worried they wouldn't understand what that even means so you haven't told anyone. And you'd be right, people generally do not understand self-loathing. If you had to pick between "friend" and "acquaintance I interact with a lot", which description would ring most true? Again, sorry for being presumptuous and you don't even have to reply to this but you should try to answer these questions as honestly as possible. Be aware that self-loathing people are very good at deceiving themselves.

>>18215674
Yea i suppose the dictionary entry for "identity disturbance" lists some personality facets that i exhibit, but a lot of people do in varying degrees. Of course i want women, and my goals are sort of dream-like and long term, happiness, confidence, stability fulfillment etc.

And ive had plenty of talks about insecurity with friends and i do have a handful that i feel very close to. But youre right ive never gone full out and told anyone "i find it hard to see myself in the mirror sometimes". I just would really like to hear from someone who felt like me in the past and overcame it.

Bump before bed