How to not be afraid of sexual things?

>>18214640
you seriously didn't get molested? this is like molestation 101. you may have repressed the memories....

>>18214725
I didn't get molested, but I had a 19 year old man force me to send him nudes and emotionally abuse me daily when I was 13

>>18214742
I mean, it must be from that then. There's no other explanation. I have no idea how to get over some shit like that besides intense therapy. Good luck, babe.

>>18214640
im not a shrink or anything, but there's this thing called exposure therapy that i did for social situations. maybe it would work here? try going further and further with your boyfriend each time, assuming he's super understanding and great and everything. i'd recommend employing a safeword maybe, like yellow/red?

>>18214748
I really don't want to believe that it had such an effect on me. My boyfriend is nothing like the guy he abused me, he wouldn't hurt a fly and he didn't even talk about sexual stuff until I told him I was ready. I am also very attracted to him. So why am I disgusted by sex with him? You think it's because of my experience with a pedo?

>>18214769
*nothing like the guy who abused me

>>18214770
>So why am I disgusted by sex with him?
Becuase they're both human? and male? I don't think it has to do with him, it's more related to the sexual activity relating to yourself, especially if you cry after masturbation with a dildo.

>>18214769
things that happen to us as children have incredibly deep impacts on us as adults. it doesn't matter that the guy is nothing like the guy that abused you. little girls who are molested have life-long sexual dysfunction even if they're with the best man in the world. you need to accept that the incident is likely the source of your trauma and start to deal with it. you can keep denying it, but there's no other reason you'd have the problems you do.

>>18214765
I have been doing something similar. Sort of progressing how far we go. I have gotten to the point where I can give him a blowjob, but I do not like it. I've also let him give me oral and I could not have an orgasm from it. Still felt gross and anxious doing both things.

>>18214788
I feel like such a shit girlfriend if that's the case, like I've been subtly comparing him to my abuser this whole time even though he's done nothing wrong.

>>18214801
damn... that sucks so much, i'm sorry. you should probably seek professional help... that sort of think is really complicated. I think it would probably be your most helpful option

>>18214812
I don't really know how to seek help, because I still live with my mom and that would require telling her that I have had sexual interactions with my boyfriend, which she has strictly forbidden. (Pretty sure my mom making sex seem like a death sentence has not helped me recover at all)

>>18214822
you're 19. your mother should have no say in what you do with your body.

try planned parenthood if you're stateside.

>>18214822
actually, if you were seeing a therapist you wouldn't even need to tell her what it related to, everything is legally confidential. just say you're having issues with anxiety and depression. depending on your area there's usually local mental health places, you can even ask your primary care doctor for assistance in finding one.

>>18214828
this advice is sjw-tier, i.e. complete bullshit. planned parenthood is just an abortion machine put in place to control minority populations. your mother is right to protect your sexual fidelity, though you do need to seek therapy for your issues so that you can have a successful future marriage.

>>18214828
I know she shouldn't have a say, but she's so staunch in her abstinence beliefs that it's not too far off to think that she may attempt to separate my boyfriend and I if she learns I have gone farther than kissing with him.

To make things even worse, I live in the Deep South. No Planned Parenthood here. If there was, 100% chance of it being bombed or looted

>>18214836
more sjw/nigger-tier advice. first, withholding information from your parents is awful. it's technically correct that the therapist cannot himself divulge information to your parents, but they can still legally coerce you to tell them, especially if you live with them.

just be open with your mom and explain that you don't think you could make your future husband happy due to your sexual problems. she will understand wanting to please a future husband.

>>18214839
which state? every state has PP offices. plenty of them in the deep south to control black populations.

>>18214837
"sjw" is just a buzzword used by muslims to push their conservative brand of sharia law. that's why all of those "mens rights" types on youtube have semitic accents. how's that for sjw?

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>>18214853
weak bait brochacho

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>>18214843
>>18214853

I hate SJWs very much and think PP is a bad company, but I also hate /pol/faggots, so I don't know which of you guys to listen to

Can you give advice without bringing left/right bullshit into it?

>>18214839
You'd be surprised
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/about-us/local-state-offices/planned-parenthood-health-centers-by-state

>she may attempt to separate my boyfriend
well, move out. there's literally nothing she can do then. it doesn't matter what she thinks, you're a legal adult, all she can do is stop paying for stuff.

tripcode because thread is getting trolled

>>18214859
>>18214853
>>18214846
>>18214843
>>18214837
also, probably samefag

>>18214875
more entitled-youth bullshit posting

>just move out anon!
>you don't have to listen to her!
>you're an ADULT because your birth certificate says so!
>woo girl!!!

you are clearly in no position to give advice to anyone. you probably go to university on daddy's dime and have never struggled in life.

>>18214890
Yeah, I'm definitely not at a place financially or probably emotionally where I'm ready to move out yet. That kind of advice always kind of irked me

>>18214903
Ok, fair enough. Try >>18214836 instead.

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>>18214913
I could give it a shot. I haven't been to therapy in so long that it feels like I'm admitting defeat by needing to go back. Fuck, why do I have to be ashamed of everything

>>18214919
It has nothing to do with defeat or winning, it's about doing what you have to so you can be successful. Sexual relationships are a normal part of life, and if you're suffering, you should take the necessary steps to fix it.

>>18214640
If you want I could fuck you silly. All night, every position, licked from head to toe

>>18215018
Thanks for that insight, I would probably throw up on you though

>>18215037
I could live with that. I'm open to weird shit

>>18215054
>help me, i'm afraid of being fucked
>>i'll fuck you! won't that help?

why are you like this

>>18214769
lmao, you clearly don't know yourself at all get a therepist

>>18215076
>orgasim
What are you, 12?

>>18215067
>why are people being funny on 4chan?

Tell me, do you think if your boyfriend made an advance on you and initiated the sex, you would freak out and stop him? Sounds like he never makes an attempt to get that ass and just sits there and deals with his sad handjobs.

OP, i think youll be okay. My ex was molested for a long time by a family member in her teen years. Really fucked up shit and not the "emotional abuse" you went through, pussy. I had her yelling "fuck me harder" while i pulled her hair and thumbed her asshole in no time. Taking the dick is great, give it a shot.

>>18214640
Explain it to your boyfriend and get it over with

>>18215269
Actually this

I had a gf who was afraid to hug me or take her clothes off because of past abuse.

Just enough time and coaxing and she had no problem with anything.

>>18215295
Yea, i feel like if her boyfriend made an attempt to open her up she would but hes too beta.

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>>18214640
>Hi. I'm a 19 year old girl and I've always had a very healthy sex drive. I learned about masturbation on my own when I was very young (~4) and after discovering porn in my tween years developed strong sexual urges.

>Thoughts?
Just like my Anime

>>18214640
I don't think you have a very healthy sex drive. Crying after masturbation isn't healthy. If you want to masturbate/have sex, I think you should use association therapy to solve this problem, because right now, you're associating sexual feelings with shame, disgust, and immorality. This is common among women who feel objectified by sex. To fix this, you should associate sex with happy, romantic, and secure feelings. Think long and hard on what really drives your sexuality. Sexuality should be empowering (at least from my experience). Hope this made sense.

>>18215269
>emotional abuse makes you a pussy
Okay, having an adult man threaten to murder your family or kill himself if you don't comply with his sexual demands is just peachy

I honestly don't know what I was expecting from here. This advice is fucking dogshit

>>18215295
This advice is a lot better than >>18215269. I'm confident I can recover if I take things slowly. I know for a fact that my sexual fantasies are definitely at a healthy level, it's just in real life that it becomes a problem. So if I can get rid of that barrier, I'm sure I'll be able to enact those fantasies.

Also, the bf is catholic, so he is actually glad that I have chosen not to go all the way thus far

>>18214640
i think that's normal, OP to be afraid of sex.
Apparently, u have been molested and exploited from a boy 7 yrs older than u, so he just used u as his sex toy savagely.
but the real question here, is ur current bf kind to u?

>>18215799
Is the same advice, but the 2nd post you quoted worded it in a funny way. You realize thats what your boyfriend wants to do to you deep down inside right? And thats what you want done to you, just let it happen.

>>18215799

Actually, both are kind of bad. Strong sex drives and such are also related to past sexual abuse - just because a girl feels pleasure or enjoys getting fucked doesn't mean that her trauma is completely gone or healed.

It's not just the religious/conservative upbringing that is at play here - plenty of conservative/religious girls fuck like rabbits. Why else do you think the teen pregnancy rate is the highest in the shitty-ass "abstinence only" areas?

>>18214640
>Help? I don't really know why I feel this way, but I want it to stop. It makes me feel like I don't love my boyfriend enough because I am disgusted by being touched by him while naked, but I know that when we're both fully clothed and not doing sexual stuff that I want to ravage him. How do I stop feeling this way?
a weekend with me, no problems after that.