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Hey /adv/, I have a problem. In public or with friends I become off base (mentally speaking(I have anxiety issues)) and find myself planning and observing and saying exactly what fits into the current conversation or mood, which I'm very good at. I've been practicing reading and adapting for years but in my reading and adapting, I've neglected reading myself so whenever I find myself being asked about myself I don't usually feel as if I open up and I feel like I'm hiding from people but still interacting with them. I believe my friends to be a jittery sort and most people I meet strike me as hiding themselves and while I get along with others and sometimes feel open there's always this itching feeling that I can do more. I guess my question is that, besides meditation, exercise, and journaling (I do all three), is there something I can do or read to help me build a solid self understanding and to keep it steady around others?
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>>18214140
You can start by simply thinking about what you're all about in this current moment. What do you enjoy? What do you dislike? What are some experiences you'll always remember. Etc.
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>>18214149
In this current moment? Music, I'm teaching myself how to sing and retraining myself on guitar, Reading, and trying to separate myself from the opinions and influence of other people, because even if they aren't pushing their ideas onto me, I pick up on what should and shouldn't be and the third one is my main focus because I can't even sing properly for fear of what my neighbor is thinking of me because I sound meh at best right now. This sucks up and impedes me severely. If I think about something I immediately remember something a critic said or something my friend said or how someone I admire acts in relation to what is happening at the current moment and how to apply that confidence I see in their actions into my current action. I appreciate the advice but it's not about my likes and dislikes. My question pertains more to the expression of me, whoever that may be.
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>>18214194
Expression is natural not forced.
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>>18214314
How so?
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>>18214330
"just b yurself" actually applies here. Your self expression just comes out naturally. Don't worry so much about how you come off.
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>>18214465
I have to to some degree. I used to make fun of other people at their expense, take advantage of others, use and manipulate people, and be a druggy loser douche. It's not about coming off as something, I am turning myself around and I need to cement new ideals, goals, and positive traits into myself. I have to actively moniter myself for slip ups and degradations back into that person. Being around others causes cracks in the monitoring because it's easier to just fall into my old ruts and sometimes I do from exhaustion. Can you help me in regards to cementing this within myself?
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