Lust

I'm sure she has ripped guys she's lusting over too. It happens.

So because you interact with these other girls you feel like you're missing something? Bit unfair to her. I'd feel like shit if I were her.

Dump her. You don't sound like you're ready for a long term thing. There's no such thing as a 100% ideal soul mate. Until you figure that out, you will always jump from girl to girl, thinking you will find someone even better. The girl you're with shouldn't have to waste her time.

>>18213080
>>18213080
Huh? I don't really understand what you're saying.
I feel as if there are other people who would suit my desires better- but I have no way of knowing that without engaging in a relationship with them, they just fit the physical and mental criteria of what I find perfect, and because of that I feel like I'm missing out, and at the same time like an asshole because I have these feelings while there's a good girl madly in love with me

I should specify she barely knows these people or that I interact with them daily.

>>18213100
This is also something girls actually worry about, they don't want to waste time on some loser who will feel unfulfilled if she isn't 100% perfect. As if you'll EVER be 100% to anyone.

>>18213112
If you feel they suit your desires better, dump your girlfriend, right now. You don't even deserve her.

>>18213100
>>18213113

Uh, no thanks. Its only been a month- I always enter a relationship without thinking about the end. I also am not expecting to have someone perfect, nor am I expecting to be perfect to anyone. You're jumping to a lot of conclusions and filling in a lot of blanks

>>18213115

You seem a lil disgusted

I'm not gonna dump her because I do love her and think she's great, there are just other options that are sparking my curiosity and I feel like I'm missing out on an opportunity.

>>18212990
This is literally the only good advice I've received so far

I don't really know what I expected, it is 4chan

>>18213118
If you're only 1 month into the relationship and you already feel like this, it's not going to get better. In a few months the crush hormones will wear off and you'll still end up dumping her for a girl who is more to your liking. Stop wasting her time.

>>18213115
And why exactly do I not deserve her, I forgot to add?

Hi OP, I had this situation happen to me too. Seemed like she checked off all of the "good girlfriend" boxes, but she wasn't really what I wanted at the end of the day. I was madly in love with a coworker and had to spend 9 hours a day with her and the girlfriend just never had a chance.

I broke up with the girlfriend and haven't regretted it a day since. I'm sure it was easier for her, for me to let her go months into the relationship, rather than years into the relationship.

Break up with her and find someone you really care about.

>>18213126
This is some high tier pecimism. These aren't any extreme emotions, just dwindling lust that I felt I could use some encouragement to get over.

I'm not going to dump her, and as I'm providing her with love and affection I don't think I'm wasting her time.

>>18212987
OP just wants 4chan to tell him to cheat, specifically highlighted in this post >>18213123
Shoo shoo, your b8 is shitty m8

>>18213127
You feel really unfulfilled, just because other girls exist who seem better than her to you. It's not even something she can do anything about. She deserves someone who does feel fulfilled with her, not some asshole who is just settling for a while, because he doesn't know what it's like to have a relationship with those other girls.

>>18213133
Okay why the fuck is everyone here assuming I don't love or care about her, I do but there are other people

I'm not even sure these people would ever date me.

>>18213137
This isn't bait. I'm looking for advice not to be told to cheat. Why the fuck would I come here to have people tell me that?

>>18213139
Okay this isn't helping and you're very stubbornly dead set that these emotions won't pass and I'll eventually just be fine. I entered the relationship wanting it to last and still do, I'm asking how to stop simple lust, not deep emotions that they're better partners, they just literally fucking look better on the surface

I'm not settling, she's great and I love her

Holy shit this board fucking sucks.

>>18213150
That's the point, you already have these feelings in the beginning, when you're supposed to be high on crush hormones. Once the hormones wear off, you'll not be able to look over things you're able to look over now. If you already have wandering eyes, it will not improve, it will only get worse. This would be different if you were in a relationship for longer than 6 months, and I would give you different advice then. Since it's only 1 month in, stop wasting the poor girl's time.

>>18213150
>Holy shit this board fucking sucks.
If it's so unhelpful then leave, go cry to Reddit if you don't like /adv/.

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>>18213166

You fucking knobhead.

You're actually fucking helping somehow by making me realize these are just passing feelings since you're hyping them up so much.

I didn't expect to meet fucking Sigmund Freud psychology genius over here, I just wanted some positive reinforcement. Did you know that can actualluy be fucking useful? No, because you apparently look on the surface and think that "Uh oh, I think some girls are attractive! Better ditch this person I fucking love!"

But I'm just a cruel guy wasting a poor girls time.

>>18213172
The old classic
>Anyone who doesn't agree with my opinion is from FUCKING Reddit!

>>18213166
Exactly. If you're already having these feelings and you're supposed to only be entering the fucking honeymoon phase, you're fucked. Or rather she's fucked with such a boyfriend. If I knew my boyfriend was having these thoughts I would just break up with him. Especially since you're fucking fantasising about girls you hang with (and you said she doesn't even know about them). Also saying "not that I have a chance" so if you had you would cheat?

You came here for someone to give you a magical potion that would solve your problem. Only thing you can do is enter a relationship with someone you actually find attractive and won't look at other girls one month in.
Yeah this board sucks if you came here thinking everyone will pat you on the back and agree with you.

>>18213185
I didn't want anyone to agree with me, I was expecting people to not be so fucking bottom of the barrel pessimistic that literally thinking a girl is hot is INSTANTLY BETRAYING MY LOVE AND FUCKING PRACTICALLY CHEATING HOLY SHIT WHAT A SCUMBAG I AM
Do you know how many fucking massive mental gymnastic leaps you made there?
>Fantasizing
When did I say that
>Assuming I'm thinking about cheating
When did I say that
>Assuming if these girls liked me I would cheat
I literally opened up crossing out the option of ever cheating. Never have never will.
>Hang with
I just see them at work everyday

This isn't advice- it seems like you're genuinely fucking angry at some stranger after creating issues for me that I don't have. You're making yourself angry. As if I even expect you to admit you're wrong though.

>>18213200
What advice is there to give you? "hey don't have those lust thoughts"? Is that helping?
You find other girls more attractive than your own girl. There is no advice, there is no exercise nor anything you can do.
Either break up with her and find someone you find attractive and compatible or suck it up and have those thoughts but don't act upon them and never ever let your gf feel bad about herself.
My guess is you will do the second but who knows for how long and then you will either cheat or break up. So just spare yourself both from wasting your youth and do the first option. Good luck.

>>18213220
Oh I don't know, maybe some actual activities and exercises that meditate and focus your mind, some actual fucking help. Not an ultimatum.

You're a pessimistic douchebag who seems to be salty so I'm just gonna go do better things, you actually helped somehow by being such an unhelpful prick. See ya.

>>18212987
Anon you'll be fine.
You find other girls attractive. Big deal.
I know it can be hard, especially if you care about your girlfriend, but it doesn't mean your relationship is going to be jeopardized because of it.

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>>18213239
Jesus, I never thought I'd give a heartfelt reply but thank you for actual positive reinforcement, like genuinely thanks.

>>18213246
Glad it helped, but it's not just I want to make you feel better. It's fine.
The point is I don't think you should break up with someone you love for someone you lust over, but you don't seem to have considerered that.
Really, just don't overthink it. it's fine.

>>18213233

Dude you're the least appreciative shit to ask for advice on this board in a while.

Your first fucking reaction when you get a girlfriend is to come to an internet message board and basically whine that your girlfriend isn't as hot as the girls in the office. So we're supposed to... what? Tell you there's some pills to fix this? You're like a kid at Christmas who hasn't even opened all of his presents yet talking about how cool the Christmases the kids down the street are having.

We've been down this path before and we all know how it all ends. You seem to be in a relationship because "wow gfs are pretty popular i saw them on 4chan" instead of thinking your girlfriend is the best out there, despite what you're trying to backpedal into now.

I disagree with the last anon giving advice. Finding other people attractive? Well yeah, you're not blind, you're not suddenly asexual for everyone but your partner. Finding them hotter than your partner? Sure I guess, especially if you're talking about your objective judgment vs your desire to be with them. With a partner there's feelings and you know what they smell and sound like in bed, which adds a dimension to their sexiness that just good looking random women don't have. You can see and appreciate that someone looks better than your partner and still desire your partner more.
AND I am fairly sure that it's also completely normal to sometimes, at least in the moment, desire someone else more than you (ever) desire(d) your partner purely sexually speaking.

But you've been dating this girl for a month. For most people that's cloud nine phase. You don't just find these girls attractive but you find them so attractive that it bothers you, it makes you feel guilty, it makes you reflect negatively upon your relationship.
That isn't "normal" to me. Best case scenario being that you jumped into this relationship because you had the chance and you thought it was promising, or why not, and worst case scenario that the girl you are dating is someone you simply don't like enough to make into a girlfriend.

Either way you absolutely don't "love" her if you describe your relationship as unfulfilled at the peak of the honeymoon phase.

>>18213263
Ah there he goes with the conclusion jumping again, and now you're literally making shit up.

>First reaction when I get a girlfriend
It's been a month
>Whine
I had composure until you started being a cunt
>We're supposed to... what?
Give positive reinforcement in a time of obvious self doubt so I can get over some feelings that are bugging me
>In a relationship because "wow GFs are pretty popular I saw them on 4chan"
I've dated 9 people before this girl
>Backpedaling
Possibly, but at least I'm not the one literally making shit up to bring people down


>>18213260
That makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

>>18213277
Shit, too quick, meant to end the best case scenario with you still needing to -actually- fall in love with her after having decided to give dating her a shot.

>>18213150
>I'm looking for advice not to be told to cheat
>he needs a fucking logical reason

>>18213277
First off anon thanks for coming at this less agressive- but you're still missing my point and making things a bit more dramatic then I stated.

Over dramatization first off, I don't feel guilty, I feel like it's a little worrying and a bit mean but that's because I'm a lil too faithful sometimes.
I never reflected negatively on my relationship. The relationship is great.
Also, never described the relationship as unfulfilled, its as fulfilling as ever, I feel unfulfilled personally :)

I do love her, though

>>18213287
You fucking tard

Let me make some corrections. I meant that as.
"I'm looking for advice, not to be told to cheat."

Better, dumbass?

>>18213290
>I'm a lil too faithful sometimes

pos, kys fampai

>>18213135
so is it "dwindling lust" or are these girls actually a better fit mentally as well as physically? coz thats what you said, dude.. sounds like you feel youre settling, and if thats the case youre just gonna end up resenting her and feeling like crap. fucking end this now before you both get too emotionally invested

>>18213296
Good response :) Very helpful

Consider careers in psychology friend :)

>>18213280

Sorry dude, you came to 4chan. Look at some other threads. Do they scream "positive reinforcement" to you?

If you wanted positive reinforcement, come here and say "hey /adv/, I could really use some advice from people who have successfully forgotten about their lust for some other people in a relationship."

Instead we got
>she isn't my ideal girl necessarily
>other girls are 9/10-10/10s
>I feel really unfulfilled
>What's the best course of action?

The best course of action, which is what you asked, is to dump her. Not for us to all fart rainbows on you and tell you that settling is the best for you and the girl who deserves someone that thinks she's the best thing going, at least in the start of the relationship.

Instead you want pats on the back, instead of us calling you the
>douche
you said you feel like.

>>18213300
They look on the surface to be better, but I literally have now way of knowing and just felt lust. Yes it is dwindling.

>>18213306
Does it not make it painfully obvious that I'm experiencing self doubt when I'm calling myself a douche?
She isn't my ideal but no one is ever perfect so why is that a reason to not date her?
3 people look very attractive to me, is that also a reason?

Part of me wants to just close this tab and pretend this never happened- yet there's always that part of you that can never leave a thread, isn't there? Heh.

>>18213306
/thread

>>18213290
>I don't feel guilty
Then what's feeling like a douche supposed to mean? Where does that come from if not from guilt?

Why do you feel unfulfilled when you are in a great relationship with a great girl that's only a month old? You should feel on top of the fucking world if a girl you really love has very recently become your girlfriend.

I feel like you are coming back from your OP a bit - you are telling me now that no, you actually love her, she's amazing, relationship is perfect, you just have some issue with yourself.
In the OP you say that she isn't your ideal girl, that you are confronted with girls you find hotter, that you feel unfulfilled and like a douche. These seem like narratives that don't line up. If your girlfriend isn't the issue why is the majority of the OP about her and your relationship?

>>18213302
Pay me and I'll candy coat it for you faggot.

>>18213319

No, you might just be calling a spade a spade and calling yourself a douche when you are a douche. If more people stopped and looked at themselves and admitted "man, I'm being a fucking huge douche right now," we'd live in a better world. It happens, you just fix it.

You shouldn't be entering into a relationship saying "this isn't ideal," you should start realizing that a while in as flaws become more apparent. If you're accepting she's not ideal already, it's because you just want someone to tell you that you're great and they love you... basically what you want us to do right now.

>>18213328
I'm definitely the issue and in my other replies I did say that I feel better about the whole thing now.

Listen man, I'm genuinely stressed out, haven't eaten in a while and am obviously sperging quite a bit. I just read the OP and I don't even know what I was saying.

This isn't an attempt to throw a pity party, I'm legitimately apologizing. Today has just been kind of fucked.

>>18213338
read
>>18213339

>>18213339
Look, this is not my problem and it's nothing to me what you decide to do. I'm just saying, as a poster here to advise people, that there are real signs that your relationship isn't as great as you are now insisting it is. You may have been in a weird mood phrasing the OP but it was what came to you to describe the problem at hand. Also the point where you've been in nine relationships by your own account, so surely you have experienced the attraction to your partner vs attraction to other women plenty of times, and I doubt you made threads wondering what to do every time... so at least SOMETHING is different, be it your compatibility/feelings for her or something to do with your own mental health.

Look into that. Not right now while you're feeling so defensive but outside of the thread, to yourself. Really look yourself into the eyes and question just how much you like her and where your feelings are coming from. You owe that to her and you owe that to yourself, to delve deeper into whether this is a decision you really stand by with your heart.

>>18213367

Thank you. I will, I promise :)

>>18213112
She's madly in love with you.

You appreciate that. But you don't sound madly in love with her, you sound like you want to be with one of these other women.

You don't owe your girlfriend just because she likes you. You like her less, it's clear from your description.

So either start liking her more, or break it off.

>>18213183
You're retarded my friend.

Honestly I think it's really sweet of some girl to tell a retarded person she'll be his gf

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>>18212987

>What's the best course of action?

Take a little time to gain perspective and maturity. This is, hopefully a phase. This "the grass is always greener" shit mentality is not a viable way to live.

Even if you dump your girlfriend and hook up with one of the 9/10 what happens when you meet a hotter girl? Dump her and go after the hotter one? Then when you meet a hotter girl? Do it again?

There's a lot more to a relationship than a girl's 1/10 scale. If you're using this as the sole basis for deciding the future of your relationships you have a little bit of growing up to do. Its kind like getting a toy you like but then getting bored with it when you see a shinier new one in the window. Will the new one make you happier than the old one? Maybe for a brief period but only for a brief period because you only really wanted it because you didn't have it, not because you felt it was better emotional investment.

>>18213135
You are wasting her time because you will eventually leave her for someone that sparks your interest more. She's only in her prime once and it takes years for some to develop the type of relationship it takes for a happy marriage to occur, if that is what she wants.

>>18213118
> I always enter a relationship without thinking about the end.
>>18213150
>I entered the relationship wanting it to last and still do

Pick one faggot

>>18212987
Get as much pussy as possible before you die is your course of action anon.

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>>18213100
>insecure relationship person gets defensive over the polygamous desires of others

Always a classic.

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>>18213172
>obvious redditfag gatekeeping 4chan

So things are this bad huh.