LDR issues

It's not a relationship if you haven't met. Meet ASAP or assume she's a catfish.

>>18212351
If female doesnt want to see you in person she
>is a dude / bait
>doesnt want to fuck / date you at all
>is so insecure she wont be able to function in real life anyway
>is just attention whore

>>18212369

She isn't a catfish we call every two nights and speak most of the days when we're not busy with work/college.

It is a relationship; we care for each other and provide emotional support - basically all the things couples do in person but in calls.

>>18212373
>She isn't a catfish we call every two nights and speak most of the days when we're not busy with work/college.

>yet when the time comes to organising a date she cowers out

>>18212375

She does suffer social anxiety and depression - should have mentioned this.

>>18212380
>She does suffer social anxiety and depression

See here
>>18212372
>is so insecure she wont be able to function in real life anyway

>>18212395

I find her insecurities cute. She is perfect, in my eyes, and I think she knows this maybe she just needs more time to adjust.

Do you have anything I could try to quicken the adjustment period?

>>18212397
>I find her insecurities cute.

Then you may also accept the fact that she will need more time to adjust than healthy girls. Though keep in mind that issues will likely not stop when you finally get her to agree to finally meet in person. These things don't ever turn off.
And I know you may be thinking that you will be a positive influence on her and help her with overcoming these fears, which is very noble and very naive but just keep in mind that it may not be what she wants.

>Do you have anything I could try to quicken the adjustment period?

You basically need to make a choice. Either accepting the waiting period and not be pushy - or be very pushy and make it clear that you want to meet her even when its seemingly too fast for her. Decide the tempo (which could backfire hard, but at least you get closure that way).

The issue with going for the middle ground - kinda being pushy while at the same time pretending you're cool with waiting is that it can backfire just as hard.

>>18212351

How about you visit her? What is 35 miles? An hour drive at the most? Just tell her, "I'm coming over" not ask, tell.

>>18212404

That'd be wrong of me; even her friends have stated she is a slightly "social outcast".

>>18212403

I don't think I have an influence on helping her beat her problems (I have similar problems) too but I have more than willing to standby and wait because I do like her and she likes me as she tells me all the time and when we fell out (three weeks ago) she ran back to me stating she wanted to be with me and that we had made a mistake arguing.

Would video calling be a good solution to the problem of her being nervous face-to-face?

>>18212412
You haven't even skyped? How do you communicate? Texts?

>>18212412
>Would video calling be a good solution to the problem of her being nervous face-to-face?

Why not ask her?

>>18212414

We skype call (non-video) and talk on snapchat (sending images and video clips).

>>18212415

I will bring it up when we call tonight.

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>>18212417
Not likely a catfish: possibly a codfish.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OKl4emMsFHk

>>18212426

A what?

She's a 17 y/o virgin does that help the case?

>>18212431
>She's a 17 y/o virgin does that help the case?

Oh I thought the two of you were older given you said college/work earlier.

How old are you then?

So I am assume you do want to tap into that teen virgin pucci?

>>18212438
He tries cover the fact that he's underage.

>>18212440

16 is the age in the UK (where I am from). Also, not interested in sex; the question is specifically requesting how to get her to meet me (sex is unimportant as of now).

>>18212439
I guess that does explain a lot about your situation. I'm the guy from >>18212375 >>18212395 >>18212403 >>18212415

and while your situation is stereotypical and will most likely end in disaster one way or another (with most scenarios ending with you not getting your dick wet) I can also see why you wouldn't like to hear that and are hopeful when it comes to your future.

So I guess good luck in regards to her, make sure to take control of the situation and not to be lead on till eternity. You're a fucking teenager and are supposed to make fucking experiences even when they go bad.

>>18212442
>(sex is unimportant as of now)

Dude you're a teenager lets agree on the fact that while not being the most important thing sex is still fucking important to you.

>>18212444

I'm a lot mentally older than a teenager, unfortunately. I don't like to "make experiences" and I like to be the success story; I want to be one of these 5% relationships that start as childhood sweethearts, etc.

I know I don't have much of a chance but yknow I know she isn't a catfish, I know it'll take time given her mental status and I am willing to give her my time.

>>18212446

I have no interest in sex whatsoever. My dream, as of now, is to hold her hand and kiss her- something she has stated she wants me to do yet she cowers when having the chance to meet.

>>18212448
The age limit is 18 here for a reason. Because we don't want to deal with kid problems like yours. Despite what you think about maturity you're still just a kid. You believe in Disney fairytales about meeting The One and marrying her.

A few years back from now you will look back at this and think how stupid you were.

>>18212448
>I want to be one of these 5% relationships that start as childhood sweethearts, etc.

You're a few years too late for that and considering your sweethearts emotional baggage it is unlikely this will be a stable and lasting relationship.

>I am willing to give her my time

Then the whole purpose of this thread is already deeply flawed and goes to show that this can't be all true when you are so actively looking for shortcuts to take to earn her "trust" and to meet you in person. You're not really willing to give her time when its a last resort in case you can't find ways to shorten said time.

>I'm a lot mentally older than a teenager, unfortunately.

Where do you get that impression from?

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>>18212412
>That'd be wrong of me

That is the weakest excuse i've ever read.
Look here pal, there's nothing wrong with going out an seizing what you want. As a guy even that is YOUR job. Don't back the fuck away from it.

And if you need to test her to do so,so be it. What you don't want in life is some weak bitch who hesitates to see you when you want to see her. You want happiness,a smile and a "I'm looking forward to seeing you!" as that's what you're naturally going to give her. Don't make excuses for girls who are being rude. They're rude like that because they don't give a shit and you're garbage to them.

>>18212456
He's a teenager. I wonder why he thinks he's a lot smarter than others?

>>18212478

I said older not smarter.

>>18212480
Sorry, you still have the mindset of a kid, as explained above. Finding your first love and getting married to her and have it last is very rare.

>>18212488
>is very rare

Even more so when she is unable to meet in person because of "anxiety" tbqh

>>18212351
35 miles apart isn't a LDR you dummy. That's less than an hour of driving. I literally have a longer commute to work.

>>18212507
It is for a kid with no driver's license.

>>18212503
Yes, I see this working out so perfectly, they were meant for each other.

>>18212516
Ah come on man, stop it with the banter for this kids sake.

Can't say that I haven't been there before.

>LDR
>25 miles

is this a joke

>>18212351
>My female LDR, of 4 months

that's not a relationship dude, stop pretending.

>>18212515
If you are a kid with no driver's license, you can't be in a LDR. You're talking to someone and pretending it's a relationship.

this thread made me pick up smoking again.

Was on a good run for the past few weeks.

>>18212531
Actually not him. Just pointing it out.

>>18212351

>LDR
>35 miles

Holy fuck dude are you even serious right now

>>18212351

>4 months
>Long distance
>35 miles

do you guys just not have cars? like would meeting require walking to each other?

>>18212579
Read the thread. He's a kid. He can't drive. He thinks this is the love of his life he will marry.

>>18212351
Unless you have Skyped with video you are better off assuming that you have never seen this person and don't know what they look like.

>>18212380

It's likely that she has body dysmorphic disorder and thinks you will be repulsed upon meeting her.
I have this same issue with my ldr bf because i can't help but think I'm disgusting no matter how much he says im beautiful.
Has she sent you many pics? Have you seen her on video?
People with B.D.D. are basically completely freaked out by cameras no matter how they look.
It's an overwhelming anxiety about this or that not being good enough.
My bf has seen me in pic and video and I'm still terrified to meet him in person because i think things like (What if those pictures or videos were more flattering than my real appearance?) It's an awful feeling but i can't make it go away.

>>18212889

She sends pictures, yeah, but she did say she is frightened that I may not like how she looks in person. I keep trying to tell her I don't just like her for her looks (she is stunningly beautiful, though).

>>18213558

Some women use alot of filtering, maybe shes a little heavier or her skin isn't so clear in person. If you can accept that then she needs to hear it. That you really dont care if she's picture perfect in reality.
constant reassuring is really the best you can do.