Sociopaths

Why does accusing her enter into it at all?

It doesn't matter if she is or isn't. If her behavior is fucked, break it off. And if she's fucked up enough to suspect she's a sociopath, that's too fucked up.

>>18211315
k. keep me posted.

>>18211339
Well I'm caught in the grey area where she could either just be wonderfully weird or sociopathic, or anywhere between
The main reason I'm suspecting sociopathy is her erratic communication. Sometimes she's all for it and then just drops the conversation before I strike up another in a few days or so. Sometimes feels like I'm just being played, but I can't discount my own insecurities either

>>18211381
That could be anything.... Emotional problems, anxiety, second thoughts, problems with committment. Is she expertly using him? Knows exactly what he wants to hear and playing to it? Making him feel like she really cares about him with ulterior motives in mind and no guilt?

>>18211487
It does seem sometimes like she's saying what I want to hear with no followup. Like saying she misses me but being unresponsive to messages. Whether she has ulterior motives or just dorsn't like to talk that much, I don't know. I feel that sociopathic tendencies would explain a good bit of her behaviour, though like you said it could be anything

>>18211315
Have you any idea of what a sociopath is? NOTHING you describe meets the definition.

>>18212267
Holy shit, you insecure bitch. You're the one with the problems, not her. Get the fuck out of here, go read a book, and don't come back until you know what a sociopath actually is, and why you're such an insufferable faggot that can't deal with the fact that his girlfriend doesn't want to talk to him constantly.

While you are trying to figure out whether or not this person fits the exact medical definition of a sociopath, she is not going to get treated for it either way and you are basing it off of nothing but the fact that she doesn't follow up with conversations as much as you're comfortable with. If that's a dealbreaker for you, then don't talk to her, simple as that. Don't throw around words you barely understand.

>>18211315

I spotted my first sociopath/psycho when I was 19. I think she was starting to become self aware at the time. I didn't know exactly what she was, other than she was manipulative and saw a friends group like a chessboard. It was in a flat share with friends, she had a lot of people wrapped around her finger, took me about a week or two to realise to what extent. I didn't care about her life and set boundaries fast ie. she tried to invite herself and her friend along to a classical music recital I was attending. I refused to invite her because I immediately knew she'd be the type to be attending half cut and bringing alcohol in her purse. Picture her cracking a can of beer open in a small concert hall when everyone is silent before the prelude, and then clapping between movements making slurred comments like why aren't people clapping, they're amazing. This never happened, because I didn't let her invite herself, but have no doubt she would have seen to it we would have been asked to leave. The thing is she has no interest in music, I had no intention of coaching her. I kinda knew I'd have to instruct her to clap after other clap, and I know she'd completely ignore it and would pretend to not understand and almost enjoy doing it repeatedly. It sounds strange for me to make assumptions like this but I'd seen how she behaves.

She was cheating on her boyfriend who she shared a room with, no one would tell him or ppl were too young and stupid to see it. Lots of teenage idiots frankly pretending to be older than they are. It's kind of a sad thing to witness.

She would ask to borrow my phone to call her mother. Then she would turn her phone off/ not answer/ ignore calls from her mother. Apparently I'm now the main point of contact between her and her mother. After about a week of getting phone calls from her mother, I told her mother I don't know where she is, please call your daughters phone. Please don't call me again.

>>18212526
>>18212538
>>18212545
Cool, that's why I asked.
Some behaviour (not all) is kind of troubling and fits the definition, so I came here to get other peoples' opinions on it. Obviously her not answering isn't the only thing going on and doesn't on its own make her sociopathic, and it's entirely possible that I'm just misreading the whole situation.
But, through my own insecurities, I couldn't tell on my own. I'm trying to understand, so don't just shout me out for not being there yet.

So, what would you guys say defines a sociopath?

>>18212538
This.

Holy fuck.

>>18212696

Apparently I told her mother to fuck off. Half an hour later she comes storming in. Despite a flatmate being in the room when I told her mother to not call me. They were too taken back to defend me properly, they simply said I never heard him say anything like that. She just exploded, and ordering me keep my phone on and not ignore her mothers calls. Apparently I'm lucky to have a phone contract, 100 minutes a month. Back when contracts were more expensive. I paid for my own phone contact etc...

That night I had friends come over, first guests and spoke about just grabbing my shit and leaving spur of the moment. They were coming over anyway and I was on the phone to them when her mother called me repeatedly earlier that day. She came up and started banging on the door telling me I wasn't allowed visitors/friends at the house share. Did this 3 times in 20 minutes. Then send up acid boy who tries to 'threaten me'. Despite her acid boy who she was cheating on her boyfriend with taking acid in the one of the living rooms and crashing at the house half the time, I am not allowed visitors for an hour or two in my bloody room.

Well acid boys friend who friend tries to block my exit when I start removing my things from the property. His friend decides I should give him my key so he can orchestrate the removal of the last 2 bags of my belongings from the property, as I was likely to leave without returning the key, (despite having paid rent and a tenancy) as I would trash the house. IE. We're getting your bags and I'm going to lock you out. Both preventing me from leaving while trying to get me to leave.

I push the kid out the way, blocking my exit. Someone finally decides to knock the kid she's cheating on her boyfriend with out...

Well that's the day everyone learned she was a sociopath. I never spoke to her again but she knows i know what she is. She has caused so much misery in these peoples lives I don't know why they have her around.

>>18212744

I don't know why I'm telling you this in detail. Small details let you know their actions. This person tried to insist I give them money towards 'house groceries' at one point. I'm like no, I'll just buy my own and eat my own. There was some sort of logic to it... that she would intend to cook together (never happened once) Just these nutcases are hard to pin down. As they get older they become more sophisticated.

They have these giant subplots running on in their lives. I know she has absolute havoc surrounding her, but none of it is self inflicted. This is almost decade on.

>>18212760
This isn't necessarily a sociopath. There are plenty of other diagnoses that could fit your brief description. Could be BPD, NPD, HPD. Could have just been she was a selfish bitch. Plenty of shitty people running around without a personality disorder.

>>18212714
>So, what would you guys say defines a sociopath?

You're wasting your time trying to figure it out. The world is run by sociopaths. The only difference between a successful businessman and a sociopath is what their efforts yield. So only low-functioning ones get called out on their shit.

>>18212894
It'd be a waste of time (and much more destructive) to continue pursuing a relationship with a sociopath, too. I'm not willing to pour love into someone who's medically incapable of returning it, but if that's not the case then she's honestly quite a catch.
I honestly even feel a bit guilty for questioning, but I don't think I can afford not to right now. She's giving the bare minimum to keep me interested and I feel like I'm strung along, and it's making me feel miserable even though nothing's actually "wrong".

That was a lot. I'm just really confused about the situation

Most people these days just use sociopath as synonym for asshole. It's wrong, and lets real sociopaths who have social ability slip through the cracks because the generic assholes and sperglords of society get branded in their place.

I distrust anyone who calls someone a sociopath without years or even decades of history on the person in question. Usually, it takes two to tango and they're trying to brush aside their own perceived insecurities and flaws by attacking others.

>>18212828
I agree, this sounds more like bpd...aspd is also quite rare among women.

>>18213073
I feel like you are trying to place this all on something she ultimately can't control, rather than just maybe chalking it up to her being bitchy/standoffish/inconsiderate. The truth is women don't get diagnosed with sociopathy because a lot of is is considered typical behavior or diagnosed as something else.

I shared a flat with one. My experience:
Superficial charm that you later see was completely fake and manipulative
Lies CONSTANTLY
Extreme egoism, masked of course
Literally will try to control your life. Indirectly, of course, but he will. Eventually he will probably just drag you down with insults. Will talk shit in your back all the time and make fun of you. When you are together and alone, he'll act like you are really good friends. He doesn't care about you at all, zero. If you can cut off contact asap. Do NOT hang out with him/her. He has talked terabytes of shit behind your back and people know it. You'll just look like a uninformed fool who wants to have a friend. If you are extremely bored some day, have a little fun by putting up genuine ads on hooker/escort sites. Do not tell anyone and use a virtual machine and a proxy because it's impersonation. Many more ways to fuck him up this way, some may get him in legal trouble. But be extremely cautious. He deserves all that shit anyway.

Actually
You guys were right. I think I've got some underlying issues with trust that I need to address. I shouldn't be questioning someone like this without any real evidence when I'm messed up myself
Of course some behaviour is going to look fishy if my perception is already twisted to paint it in that light
I'm gonna go have a good think about myself

>>18213704
>issues with trust

That, I can't help you with. As far as I know, it will only get worse if you don't have one person you can 100% confide in already.