Relationship prospects for a male having panic attacks

>>18210589
[cont.]
It goes without saying that this isn't very manly. I think I mustered enough confidence to be a decent boyfriend, but the way most women I have met are, they unsurprisingly enough cling to traditional roles in relationship even if publicly everyone is about equality. I hope I don't sound like I spite women for this- the roles are more of a society thing- but that's just how it works.

What I mean by this is that even though I am kind of starved for a contact with a special someone (not really sex, more like companionship), I ultimately am a man, that's the role I am given, which means that if I was witnessed during that kind of a weak moment, in a better case she would be terrified, in a worse one disgusted. Either way it would mean I would more likely than not lose the person I have gotten attached to, and I stopped dating because of that happening and leaving me feel abandoned. I feel even if I told them and they would accept that I have this issue, they couldn't go on upon witnessing it. It's just out of character for a guy, and I cannot exactly expect the comfort to snap out of it from a confused/scared woman.
Considering I have been unsuccessful with all the ways I tried to curb them for nearly two decades now, it's safe to say they will occur again. During family life, scaring my kids. If I even get to that point because I cannot imagine how a woman would put up with my "issues".
I don't know wheter I'm ranting or asking for advice at this point. I just don't know what I can do, but at the same time I'm not sure there is anything I can do. Thank you for making it through the wall of text. [2/2]

Scared Machi because cute things make me happy and it kinda fits.

I'd like to tell you that they don't care brother, but that would be a disservice to you. Even if they say they don't think less of you they will. They won't respect you and if they don't respect you they won't love you. The good news is you will get over it one day and have a good relationship. Showing any kind of weakness to a woman is a bad idea.

>>18210589
You're attributing far too much energy to these panic attacks.

The manner by which you refer to these attacks insinuates to me that you've likened them to a seperate entity; an uncontrollable source of fear working tirelessly towards your eventual destruction.

Whether or not this is the case, you need to take a deep look inside because these attacks are just a product of your own mind.

>>18210981
I agree with you, yeah... I thought they were gone but they always come back.

>>18211507
It's only a figure of speech. It helps avoiding sinking too much into them when talking about them, I think. I know all too well what their source is, and been working on them with a lot of therapists and psychiatricists over my two decades.

We managedto make them occur less, not disappear.

I know the source, but unfortunately the fear is rational enough.

Thanks for replying, glad the thread didnt get archived meanwhile.

>>18210589

everyone has their cross to bear and this is yours.

you can still date, but you have to either put your self out there, or resign your self to more preplanned relationships starting online. the problem is your options are limited and will be few and far between and come iwth their own issues (possibly distance, for instance).

decide whats most important and work towards that, regardless of consequences. cuz you unfortunately can't give into your panic attacks and still date like other men do.

and thats okay. but you have to accept that you will wait a long time, maybe even forever.

>>18210589

My ex used to have exactly these. They turned out to be a type of seizure. You should see a neurologist to make sure that's not whats actually happening.
They had him on meds for panic attacks for years until it progressed and then he had a full blown, fall on the ground seizure.
It lasted an hour and when he woke up in the hospital he couldn't remember anything.
He had a weird phobia of dying that would hit him and he'd pace or shake and sometimes scream out something weird.
After the big seizure they realized he'd been misdiagnosed and put him on the right meds and it stopped.
When he felt like they'd gone away he stopped taking the meds and unfortunately passed away in his sleep because he had one during the night when nobody was around to assist.
Please get help, It sounds exactly the same, including the partial memory loss

>>18212970
That's horrid... I wanted to avoid mentioning it, but it's also thanatophobia for me. I sort of insinuated it in the first post. I don't know, honestly. It got bad one time, I had one during the day after I learned about the false vacuum, which made my fear progress into suddenly being acute (in my mind), in my mind anyway. I didn't exactly have a seizure however, and that time I was fully conscious. I was put on meds and returned from the psych ward within a week, and returned to only having these attacks sometimes at night... I don't really see how it would be a seizure in my case, and I would probably be dismissed because they'd think they would notice it in the psych ward, though the threat of dying in one's sleep is really terrifying. Do you have any more info? And I'm very sorry for your loss.

>>18212946
I had an LDR. I had someone I had for a caring person who would not care about these things, well she wasn't. Besides I really want something more... Skin on skin? Like I said it doesn't have to be sex, I'm reserved when it comes to these things.

Dating sites are usually the women who have standards too high to find a partner in real life, and are wastly outnumbered by guys there. I feel like even if I made a profile and put it out for everyone to see, I'd just make myself a laughing stock without any chance of succeeding there. And if I didn't, I would have to avoid real contact, which would make me suffer anyways and would probably lead to the other party breaking up at some point because of the relationship being unfulfilling.

>>18213147

All i can say is that it didn't look like a typical seizure until he had a full one. He'd suddenly go silent or look faraway, then he'd breathe a little faster sometimes pacing sounding like someone about to cry (distressed sounds) It looked exactly what one would expect a panic attack to look like but instead it was a rare type of seizure that induced similar symptoms.
His fear of death stemmed from when he was young he had someone close to him die and i think that might have played some role in the emotional side of it.

>>18213170

well almost all relationships end becuase someone eventually finds it unfulfilling for any reason.

we cannot help you if your answer to any advice we give is
>the other party would break up with me at some point because of the relationship being unfulfilling.

like i said, this is your cross to bear. everyone has one. we dont all magically have no problems and nothing to work around.,

accept your limitations, or work around them.

>>18213318
That sounds uncomfortably like me. Do you have any idea what is it called, this kind of seizure? What was the cause of deah, if I can ask something so personal?

>>18213361
Look, I understand that you are frustrated about being negative towards your advice, but most people get married. I dont think the "everyone has problems" is much of an argument here, I know that.