Sex Thread gen1

>>18207878
I don't have any advice but I'll be lurking

>>18207886

How do you feel? Tell us about yourself

I do avoid it, everyone says it's overrated and so I prefer to keep up the fantasy of it being the greatest thing ever in my head.

I live in the middle of nowhere.
I've never been able to take a girl home/go to parties.

It really messed with my head growing up but now I don't really mind it anymore. I'm certain that I'm desirable to someone, just have to move away somewhere.

>>18207889
Unfulfilled, anxious, wasted potential, things of that nature

I've been told by many girls that I'm smart and attractive. I dress well, /fit/, man haircut, and do a lot of interesting things. But I don't feel comfortable around girls outside of a friend context. And when it comes to sex. I literally can not picture myself actually having sex. It just seems like some far away fantasy. Like it's not even a possibility. Although.. it has been a possibility. I've had a few girls show obvious interest in me. But I always end up pushing them away.

I'm scared of the thought that a girl would actually want to be lewd with me

I only want to have sex with someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with and I haven't met that someone yet.

>>18207900

Same! :)

I am waiting until marriage because that's how I was raised. I also live in an area where if people find out you aren't a virgin (as a girl) you get publicly shamed, so that helps me keeps my pants on.

I really would like to go all the way with my boyfriend but I can't shake off the feeling that it will ruin my life, because that's what I've been taught my entire life

>>18207878
I'm 27. I've never been in a real relationship and I'm not very big. I'm afraid I'll fuck up.
It also makes me feel slightly better about myself to say I avoid sex rather than I can't get it because not a single woman responds to me on dating sites.

I don't feel undeserving but I feel undesirable because the girls I've asked out rejected me.
I don't want casual sex and my libido is really low, I think I'm grey asexual. I just want a romantic relationship. I don't like the idea of sex at all but I'm willing to try it with someone I care about. Knowing that the girls I like don't want to date me gives me a really low self esteem. But I still consider myself not-repulsive, I've been made fun of for my looks in the past though but I don't see myself as being ugly so I don't know if I just have an image of myself that doesn't match reality. When someone compliments me on my looks (it's very rare) I assume they are just being nice and lying to me though. And I think I'm a good, nice person and I think I'm interesting enough. Every rejection makes it harder for me to keep liking myself as a person and feeling worthy of existing.
I'm not financialyl well off, I'm currently looking for a job. Idk if I'm "depressed" but I have no reasons to live and no goals or motivations, and I find it really hard to do simple tasks lately.

>>18207917
Are you me?

>I'm scared of the thought that a girl would actually want to be lewd with me
This I recognize so damn much.
I'd really like to know what the cause of this is, I'm pretty confident in myself, I have a ok body, great face, big dong

I avoid sex because intimacy scares me.

>>18207995
this

feels bad to be afraid of the thing that makes us human

>>18207990
>>18207995
>>18207998

Yeah, I've had chances to get with hot girls in the past. But I ALWAYS back out.

I got pressured into sex twice in the past, but both were terrible experiences for me. I think somehow that shit fucked me up. Now I'm afraid of it

never had the opportunity to avoid it but i know if i bang anyone who isn't a prostitute i'd be spending the next month worrying about knocking her up or getting nailed with a rape charge

Male 31
Only had sex once. Oral from 3 different ppl (two gf's, one friend). I lost my virginity to the girl I was most in love with, and I was crazy compatible with her, but distance and feelings fucked it up.

Along the years I've tried apps, approaching strangers, asking girls if they're single etc. Came close maybe 2-3 times? As I got older I realized basic physical attractions are desperate cries. But then I developed a crush on a girl, and she is so specific, and so impossibly unavailable.. that I'm basically asking to hurt like hell.

tfw your crush reminds you of a younger you, in terms of crativity, demeanor, even vestiture, and you wish you could transmit your experiences to her and her to you, that you may see eye to eye.. but she wont even answer a basic message.

>>18207936
Guy who's waiting until marriage here. Sup

>>18208114
Hi. How do you deal with feeling judged? I'm in college and all the girls I know think I'm fucking retarded because I've been in a relationship for 2 years and haven't fucked the guy yet

>>18207878
>Are you actually physically and financially well off, but depression is holding you back (me)?
But I'm also a little screwed up from a series of rape-y encounters. I wish I could figure out about sex therapists or surrogates or whatever. I feel like someone working through this with me could help, but I don't know how to get one or if they're actually legitimate.

I'm quite possibly dropdead handsome, but I cannot imagine a woman actually wanting or caring about me, nor do my natural silent, stoic demenor, poor previous experiences, negative self image, and shitty friends offer me any relief

>>18208119
My parents find it weird and say I'll be a virgin until my mid twenties. It's partially for religious reasons and other borderline /pol/ trash though. I personally don't think anything of it 2bh. Just living life

>>18208132
I'm doing it for religious reasons and shame reasons. What does /pol/ have to say about waiting for marriage?

>>18208147
I say borderline /pol/ because it's conservative in nature. I dunno, enough weird reactions just got me thinking like that I guess. What religion are you? Also U.S.?

>>18208119
Different anon of course, but I can't wrap my head around why people seem to think less of me for want to get married, instead of having as much sex as possible

I'd be cool to have sex. I wouldn't be able to get used to what you do after you finish, keep going or cuddling or whatever.... no as soon as I finish I'm gonna want to immediately begin a new activity that is completely non-sexual, and not romantic and just focus completely on that, and not on her or anything else. How do you not do that?

>>18208155
Presbyterian Christian, also yep, raised in the Bible Belt too

>>18208157
For the people in college, they seem to think that I'm wasting my youth. It doesn't help that people look down on those who marry young either

>>18208176
Pentecostal Christian. East Coast. Do you dress traditional such as skirts and dresses?

>>18208184
No. I'm actually a bit of a tomboy. I mean, if I was a super traditional Christian girl I probably wouldn't be on 4chan. But had I been homeschooled, I probably would have ended up like that.

>>18207878
cant stand the idea of breaking someone's heart, so i don't respond to being chased
cant stand the idea of having my heart broken, so i don't chase
having wizard powers isn't so bad though

I'm a virgin. I'm macking on a girl at the moment though, should I tell her or just try to wing the first time?

Sometimes my ex-girlfriend would wake me up for sex and I wouldn't want to do it so I'd just finger her until she was good and then go back to sleep.

>Who here avoids sex?
I do now. I had a boyfriend in highschool who I lost it to, we were together for ages (by high school standards-3 tears) but he cheated on me.
>Do you feel undeserving and undesirable?
No, not particularly. I'm in good shape and I like my clothing style etc.
> Are you actually physically and financially well off, but depression is holding you back (me)?

Well I am well off for my age (20) having inherited a house to live in from my grandma while I'm at uni and having a job that pays $35 an hour which is good for unskilled work. I'm also pretty happy with the way I look, and I have a set of interests that I like and I'm good at (music, history, philosophy, reading) and I"m going to a good university.

My issue comes from men. My first experience was pretty shitty, but I haven't had a redeeming experience to change my negative view of the opposite sex.

I've been on dates, but they don't care about who I am, they're only interested in hooking up or being a fuckbuddy or whatever.

I don't want any one night stands and that seems to be all anyone my age wants. I'd try dating girls, except the only lesbians I know are major SJWs.

I am poor and ugly af even if i wanted to get laid i cant get a hooker. i can only jerk myself off as i look at pictures of girls i can never have. life sucks.

It seems that sex avoids me.

I can't say I've ever had the opportunity to avoid it.

>>18207878
I suppose you could say I avoid it, but maybe not consciously. Sex seems like such a remote possibility I don't really think about it any more.

Back in high school, I had a gf, and we stayed together throughout college. We had sex, and were in love and things were great. We were together for 4 years, but it ended badly. Afterwards, I got depressed, put on weight, got a shitty job, and slowly retreated into myself.

Now I feel like I'm so far out of the game I can never get back in. I've tried online dating, but haven't had any luck. At this point, my depressed mind can't even comprehend the idea of a girl being interested in me, so trying to date feels like a waste of time.

>>18208835
We are all in the same boat

>>18209034
>tfw make decent money, look decent, but short so still fucked

I'm someone who just outright avoids sex now. But I still have doubts.

I still go to clubs and maybe bring a guy back to my door but other than some small handies I end up shooing them away.
I pass it off as me having away physical disability and having spinal scars that look l'île I lost a fight with wolverine but the truth is more that I just can't be bothered with it.
I've not been on a relationship for almost 3 years now and stopped having encounters with a FwB about a year ago I recently purchased a better toy and I've never looked back. No more birth control fucking with my tablets, actual orgasims for me and I'm free to yell whoever name I want.

I've always dated virgin nerds picked up at various tabletop or conventions so perhaps that has clouded my experience somewhat. But with guys at the club who I share very little in common with, they bore me and don't feel worth the effort.

Have I just fallen down the weeaboo muh 2d husbandos trap? Coming home from my cardio at the gym, doing stretches then vibrating myself to the high heavens to some poorly drawn porn of Reuenthal in the comfort of my bed is much more appealing than dealing with some lumpy dude whose gonna smell in the morning.
I'm exaggerating, but you get the deal.

>>18209048

Ahaha that was a funny explanation

File: 1300798205362.png (4KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 400x400px

>>18207878
I have never had sex.
I have never even held hands or kissed a girl.

The only girl I really really wanna have sex with (make love to) is my current crush. I do things to try and get her out of my mind, but I can't. I don't even know if she's taken.

>>18209048
id be thrilled with a handy at your dorrway

your routine sounds comfy to me... i couldnt imagine having to deal with a lumpy sticky man climbing all over me.

sex toys are amazing now a days.. i just realized friday night, in some ways my fleshlight is better then my wife....not all, but some

you sound great anon, i hope happyness is with you

I'm 30 years old and I can only fantasize about teenaged / early 20s girls

I didn't think much of it before but it's starting to become pretty alarming and I'm considering swearing off the dating scene before I turn into an old creeper.

People keep guilt tripping me by saying that I'm wasting my youth

>>18209240
Honestly you gotta have a sense of humour with these things.
It's the advice I give to virgins.

>>18209257
Thanks and you too anon.

I once took a look at the onahole general on /jp/ when looking for a gift for a mate. I was rather suprised how in deep they go with the technology behind it. I also agree it doesn't quite match the feeling of sex from a women's perspective, but it gets rid of the feeling and is an different kind of orgasim.

>>18209283
I got that too. Being a bookworm who was more interested in collecting figures of jrps from the nineties than going around.
I think the time frame is much bigger than you expect. It's not just 16 to 25. I had more issues in my teens than I did in my twenties.
It really matters to you. I'd say at least go expierence youth culture and give it a good shot and then decide if you like it not.
My best friend in university was normal and considered me a little weird but she forced me to go to the local nightclub since at the time, I was the only person she knew. And hey, it broke the ice for me and removed all fear. I still don't like it fully and I don't bother with the social media / snap chat side of things. But if I want a change of scenery it is something.

Just as I am over typing you are 99% probably overthinking/caring.

>>18207878
sex is avoiding me

>>18209318

>Just as I am over typing you are 99% probably overthinking/caring

Well, I'm 26. I've never done of that stuff you mentioned with clubs and all. I have too much on my mind and I'm trying to turn my life around. Which so far I am successful. I'm actively avoiding girls because I can't afford any distractions, I can't afford to fuck up. But when people have told me:

>man you need to go have fun in your
youth, meet lots of girls, have fun with them. Because if you don't, you'll really regret missing out when you're older and it's too late"

That statement fucks me up. Because right now, I don't think girls is the answer. But hearing people say that makes me think "oh shit, I'm fucking up right now. Is it true? Am I going to have terrible regret in a few years?? I don't want this now, but should I be doing something different?? I'm not doing the right thing... what is the right thing??"

>>18208323
>they don't care about who I am, they're only interested in hooking up or being a fuckbuddy or whatever
Man here, I seem to have a similar problem on my hands

>>18209330
>Is it true?
Only have personal experience and my answer is nope.
>Am I going to have terrible regret in a few years??
I never went to prom in secondary school or the dance at college. Never bothered me and don't care. Like I said above I'm comfy with my life and my A grade A Levels have set me on a comfortable path into university. No distractions, sure it was lonely and I got jealous of many other girls. But fuck it. I'm comfy. Maybe when I'm 30+ it might hit me but I can't have kids anyway so what the fuck.
>I don't want this now, but should I be doing something different?? I'm not doing the right thing... what is the right thing??"
Ask this
>Am I happy?
>Am I on the life path I want to be on?
If you are comfortable with both answers then tell the others to fuck off.
You'd be suprised how much of even soft talk is projections and jealously. I know that's a tend cliché answer but it could be that they fucked up and feel regret. But you aren't them. Even basic divides in humans, introvert and extrovert. They'll have different opinions on the same life and different regrets.
You gotta find your own happiness. And I know that is cliché but it's true. If you really must go try that club and you'll for your own opinion.

>>18209361

Well, I'm used to the fact that I've never experienced affection. I'm used to going to bed alone. That all feels completely normal, anything otherwise would be odd.

I wish I could do the whole masturbation thing that you do and not care about anything and actually enjoy it. But I can't. If I fap it makes me feel really depressed and it will ruin the rest of my day. Not only that, but if I fap it causes me to get out of my work out routine and overall fucks my week up.

Just be very fucking careful. I'm waiting for my girlfriend to get home so she can take a pregnancy test and it's fucking horrifying. Be careful. The pill doesn't always work. Be honest and love each other and seriously consider that something might go wrong.

I will report back in 3 hours if anyone cares.

I'm fucking scared.

>>18209427
Sending you my energies, Senpai. Best of luck.

>>18209427
>>he doesn't use two condoms just in case the pill didn't work

>>18209427

Good luck anon. We will be here

>>18209444

>double wrapping

Why even have sex? How are you suppose to feel anything with 2 layers of laytex wrapped around your dick and cutting off blood circulation?

>>18209471
>he doesn't have a latex cock torture fetish

>>18209488

What does that mean

Everytime someone trust to initiate something with me I pull back because I'm scared of intimacy and not preforming right
I'm a guy

>>18209525

Same

Wow, where to start...

I look good. I feel great. I dress even better. /fit/ too. I'm what 4channers would describe as a normie. Except I haven't been laid in 5 years.

Studying CE, top of my class. Very involved in extra curricular activities as well and I know a couple of girls because of that.

I've actually had two dates in 2k17, but no sexual relationships have formed. First girl I tried to kiss on the first date, but she didn't reciprocate. Second girl held hands on second date, but she did not want to see me again after that.

As of then I have been putting it off, working on myself. Maybe it's the fact that I have no hair, or that I smoke too much weed and watch porn a lot. Sometimes I approach when I go out, but it's mostly non-sexual. Some girls have liked me, but I did not like them back even though I had very obvious chances to escalate physically. Then there's this one girl that flirts with me even though she has a boyfriend, and I slapped her ass before. She came running back to give me a hug later.

Next to that I only seem to get turned on easily by older women, like my teacher. I'll literally get a wet dick during her lessons. She seems to like me, I just don't know how to escalate. We touch each other sometimes, and she gives me coffee. Things of that nature.

I guess I don't avoid sex, I just don't know how to get it.

>>18209663

>I look good. I feel great. I dress even better. /fit/ too. I'm what 4channers would describe as a normie. Except I haven't been laid in 5 years

You are me

>>18209427
>>18209438
>>18209444
>>18209463

WE'RE GOOD, NOT PREGNANT.
Never been so relieved. Stay safe guys. It's not a joke and buying pregnancy tests and talking to doctors is really fucking awkward, be careful.

>>18207878
I'm a Christian and I haven't found anybody I'd like to start a family with yet.

What a sad thread. So many people having their brains washed to such an extend by religion, petty morals and shame is unbelievable to me. I know i cant change anything over the internet, but maybe one day you will find out just how misguided all of you are. Just how backwards your understanding of sex and its benefits actually is.

>>18210035

>brainwashed by religion
>Just how backwards your understanding of sex and its benefits actually is

Majority of the people here never said anything about religion. Explain?

>>18208323
Washington DC / Maryland?

>>18210035
I was raised atheist, but I believe promiscuity is wrong and I ought to marry and start a family with a nice likeminded gal. My dad even seems to think I'm an idiot for it

>>18210080

Not that anon, but I'm in Northern VA

>>18210055
I'm not religious, and I don't want to fuck everything that moves either.

I'm not necessarily waiting for marriage, but I want to at least date someone for a bit before I decide to start having sex with them. I'm sure I could pay someone if I was very desperate to lose my virginity, but I feel like that would only make me feel worse about myself than I already do.

>>18210132
Nice, I'm in College Park MD now but will be moving to around McLean next year. How are the McMansions?

I want to have sex more. But im really focused on work to the point that i dont think i have any time for it. Nor do i really know any girls that would even endulge me.
Ive decided that i should just work till i eventrually have a opprotunity to go on vacation and find someone then. Sex comes across my mind everyday. So its really rough to try and avoid porn for me. Ive just tried to stop thinking about girls and sex till im older and have time for it.

Had plenty of sex from 14-21, I'm 25 now and have no real desire for it because I had gotten my last real girlfriend pregnant and her family made her abort it. After that, you kind of see the weight of your actions and don't just see it as something to do.

You know what is better than sex? Holding your piss for 2 days or holding your shit for 5-7 days until you cannot hold it in anymore.

I will guarantee you, its a different feeling from sex but its just as amazing or (in my case) much much better than sex.

I shall warn you it is like comparing Ice cream to steak. Its both amazing but its still different.

Good luck,

- Non-virgin man.

>>18210261
Thats disgusting

>>18210200
More socializing = more sex anon
Try it

>>18210274
From the start I thought so too. But just trust me.. The feeling of the release is unbearably amazing. Its like having a cage on your genitals everyday while watching the best of the best porn everyday.

>>18210275
Sex just isnt as important as making money.

>>18210261
This is a great way to rupture your bladder. Speaking as a medfag, please, please stop doing that.

File: 1489412633808.png (376KB, 393x441px) Image search: [Google]

376KB, 393x441px

>tfw can easily get sex if I try, but I got to the point in life where I just want someone to share my life with instead, but every single woman I meet doesn't want a serious relationship just yet
The fuck man...

>>18210282
People have died from not peeing and shitting.

File: feels.png (139KB, 931x858px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 931x858px

>>18210290

>>18210285
And i need money to get a car and my own house or something. That will make me more desirable and seemingly doing good in life. Which will help make sex or possibly a girlfriend easier to obtain.
Kinda sucks i wont really get to have any sex till those happen.

I want to avoid sex but I'm bretty young(19) so I can't really claim that I've ever actively avoided it or turned down an opportunity. I'm unhappy but not depressed which is fun because I can imagine being misanthropic asshole to people in my mind but still effectively interact. I feel ugly and pathetic. I desperately need affirmation but I live 5hrs drive away from my friends: the only 3 people whom I absolutely love. I tell myself I hate everyone else but as soon as I get so much as a sincere smile from a pretty face, my whole cynical doctrine goes out the window. I tell myself I want to avoid sex because I want the mystery or because I don't like anyone (semitrue) but really I just don't want to share any part of my putrid self and be vulnerable. Also I tell myself that even if I try, I couldn't forge a relationship that intimate so yeah. So I just spew my feelings to strangers who will never know anything about me save what I tell them.

>>18210165

Expensive as hell

>>18210135

I'm not "waiting until marriage". I've had sex once before when I was 20. It was a bad experience and memory for me. im 27 now so it was a long time ago, it seems surreal now. Now, I can't even imagine sex. Like, just the thought it could happen to me seems fictional. Like it's not a real thing

I had a lot of sex when I was younger, and it was never as great as it's made out to be. Masturbation has always been better than any sexual experience. Now I'm single and live like a monk and am happier than I've ever been. I'd have sex again if the opportunity presented itself, but I feel no need to go out of my way to find somebody to have sex with or feel like I'm missing out on anything.

I think that sex is just a distraction, anyway. I make a lot of money now that I can just focus on doing what I want instead of on females.

>kid in southern christian household
>mother tried to encourage openly talking about sex
>mother also only talked about negatives of sex
>had to read an std book and take quizzes and have a discussion on how well i understood the information

i have no idea why, completely clueless, but the few times i've had sex did nothing for me

I love sex, but my girlfriend forces me to avoid it by being a withholding bitch.

I avoid sex. I honestly don't even know why. I've had maybe ~20 or so sexual partners in my life, and one day a few years ago I just stopped. Now, whenever I get brought out to the bar or something by coworkers, I secretly pray that nobody tries to come home with me.

I get lonely every night in my bed by myself, but anytime I actually do have someone there with me I'm super uncomfortable and I can't sleep.

I was an ugly duckling who turned into a pretty good catch, but all I wanted when I was a fat teenager was for girls to be interested in me. Now, I just want someone to like me. So it looks like there's no respite for this cowboy. Ennui.

File: 1487721305260.jpg (63KB, 500x385px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 500x385px

Im 20 and Ive had sex twice in my life. Both times I did it I felt inadequate and had a shitty time. This may just be because of the people I was with but Im now afraid of sex because Im worried Im going to fuck up somehow. Honestly I prefer foreplay over actual sex now, atleast with that I know I wont fuck up.

>>18210696

I'm like you but just a bit older. I had sex once when I was 20 (bad experience) and I got a really pathetically bad bj when I was 22. Those were the only 2 experiences I've had. Both were awful and I regret them a lot. I'm 25 now and I feel extremely uncomfortable with the idea of sex. I think about girls often, but I can not see myself every actually having sex again. It gives me bad anxiety if an opportunity arises. In the past year. I've had 3 obvious opportunities that I could have gotten laid. I had girls sending me lewds over text. Each instance I got sick with anxiety and has to cut contact with them.

>>18210729
You gotta fall in love. Being in love kills the anxiety. Don't force it though, you just "fall" in love.

>>18210290
yeah... 25-35 range. tired..
want one good one..one.
in my case though, I'm just beginning to understand that who I wish was mine, is kind of.. begrudgingly too much to ask for..
I'm gonna try anyway of course.

>>18211026

That's dangerous..

>>18207878
My foreskin is too tight and i'm afraid it will hurt and gross her out

Just turned 21. I've had sex with 4 girls. In high school i was so fucking horny all the time, and even up until i was 20.5 or so, I just wanted to fuck all the time. Then a couple months ago my sex drive started sliding. Now it's hardly there at all. I had a relationship drag out way longer than it should have, and a lot of negative sexual encountets with that girl. Where she would constantly reject me, and then when we did have sex, she would often cry afterwards. Whenever the deadbedroom period happened, I was initially sexually frustrated, but then I just kinda accepted my fate, and quit viewing my girl in a sexual light. I gave up on having sex with her, oddly enough, we started having sex regularly again. But then we broke up for other reasons. After we started having sex again it just wasn't the same. It felt good as I was cumming, but there really wasn't any passion. I didn't drive myself wild thinking about sex all day like I used to. I got my test levels measured and they were normal. So it's not hormonal. Will it come back?

>>18211046
If you're afraid of life, yes. If you realize you only live one lifetime, no.

I'm a Virgin not because I'm unattractive or socially incapable but never found someone I've really clicked with. I've turned down girls who want dates/ a straight up fuck before

>>18211178

2 years ago I took a trip to Europe for vacation. While I was there I met a girl and became friends with her. She was gorgeous too. We became very close and it was obvious that she liked me. Nothing had happened between us because I was beta. When I returned home, we talked every single day, Skype daily. We got very close. She told me how she really like me and wanted to
Be with me. That girl made me feel really happy. We talked about meeting again and she said how badly she just wanted us to spend some time together. We talked lewd and everything. We agreed we to meet again and I booked airline tickets for 6 months later. I was so happy and felt so relaxed. She told me all the time how I made her feel happy and she really couldn't want to just hug and kiss me. Well... 1 month before my trip (which also happened to be my birthday) she told me that she met a local guy.. but she said she still wanted to hang out with me. from that day on, I was a mess. I woke up sick in the mornings and felt like an anxious mess all day long. So bad I went to a therapist. Finally, my trip came and I flew to her country. The first 2 days was by far the most miserable 2 days of my entire life. So bad that when I told my therapist about it, he said I should have went to a hospital. I was so sick from anxiety, I couldn't eat or sleep. I spent 2 days in the bathroom of my hostel. I finally somehow made it to the train station and made it to her town and checked in to my hotel (I have no idea how I physically made it. I was so fucked that I was dizzy to the point of almost passing out). I slept for 24 hours in that hotel. Met my friend for the following 2 days and just hung out as friends. I cried when I went back to my hotel at night. Finally after I said my goodbye. I felt past everything. I'm past it all. But, I can never let myself go through that again. I can't describe the sickness I felt. I was genuinely worried about my health.

I can't let myself become vulnerable

>>18211263
You loved someone too far away is all. Had you flown her over, the story may have turned out different.

I had my life destroyed by someone extremely compatible too. 5 years lost dwelling on it till I just couldn't take the major depression I was enduring. It was also long distance. And we only met once. To this day, she is still my first and last piv experience, years and years after.

But years and years later, I developed strong feelings for someone else. Assumingly I would never feel that way about someone again. You don't choose to fall in love. It just hsppens.

Hell, in between those years I had a similar experience to yours happen to me, with terrible spirit crushing anxiety. Tried visiting a close friend who was raped and I got caught in snow for the first time. Wasn't well prepared for it. Turns out she thought I was a fool for doing what I did. In retrospect, she was right. I shouldn't have spent a single penny on her.

Life is unforgiving bro, but you don't shut your feeling off because other people make weaker decisions than you. Or simply move on. You can choose to be true to yourself.

>>18207878
Im avoiding sex currently as I can't get over the amount of porn I found on my bfs computer. Hes deleted it all now but I just dont want a perv touching my body now that I know what he really gets off too. I guess I should just break up, going through a lot of batteries living this way

>Who here avoids sex?
I don't actively avoid sex. But I am not going to go through the mountains of bullshit seemingly required of me to get laid (working out, "game", rejection, spending so much time, talking to women, doing normie things like socializing, etc.), or there's the alternative of spending way too much money on hookers. There is porn, masturbation, and sex toys to help me forget about sex.
>Do you feel undeserving and undesirable?
Yes
>Are you actually physically and financially well off, but depression is holding you back (me)?
No, depression isn't holding me back

>>18211460

After that experience I can never accept anything from females again. I cannot go through that again. I fucking can't. I've never felt so dangerously ill in my life. That happened because i had feelings for someone. I cant afford to develop feelings for anyone ever again... I can't go through that hell again

>>18211503
Unless he was looking at illegal stuff or had truly insane amounts of porn, I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm sure most people who watch porn (i.e. most people) will save stuff they might want to come back to if that's possible. It 'll just accumulate more and more over time and it's easier just to upgrade your storage space than clear out old stuff. I'm sure half the people on 4chan have what amounts to a time capsule of all the porn they've ever fapped to stashed somewhere on their computer.

>>18211503
Everybody watches it. Not just men. Its pretty normal. Dont be bothered by it

>>18211558
>>18211576
Thank you. I understand thats why Im still with him. I just used to think he was such a great person and didnt care about that kind of stuff. My fantasy of what our life was ruined. Hes just like every other guy now. There was some weird shit on there too. He would download anywhere from 3 to 20 new porn movies a day. That was with regular sex from me. I guess it just hurt i knew thats what he was picturing all this time. I used to dress up and get all sexy but ill never be porn star sexy so I feel like a fool. Maybe its my pride thats getting in the way. I just thought i found a normal loving person and its crushing to find something like that i guess.

in long-term relationship (5+ years)
maybe have sex 3 times a year, she really enjoys it
can't finish half the time though
when I ejaculate I sometimes don't orgasm
really reluctant to have sex
masturbate once a month to get rid of feeling so I can concentrate on work
feel disgusted and dirty after
should probably be alone
not interesting in having another relationship or GF
don't have any porn on my computer

>>18211617
Men have much higher sex drives than women. No woman could satisfy a man's sex drive alone, that's just the way it is. There are men who are married, have mistresses AND visit sex workers. And still jack off. It's just the way we're designed, to be of use to the human race - to women. It's our function.

I'm a 31 year old kissless virgin. I've never had a gf. In high-school I had a huge crush on a friend and nursed it for too long. In college I got rejected a few times. Then I didn't think about it for years while living with my parents and working.

I'm on my own now and I've been asking women here and there ,still getting rejected.

I don't care that I'm a virgin, but the fact that nobody I've ever asked out or matched with on dating sites has ever been interested is incredibly disheartening.

>>18207878
>Who here avoids sex?
Yup.

>Do you feel undeserving and undesirable?
Not undeserving, but undesirable by just being strange. I don't feel bad about it though, I just don't click with people, that's how it is. If someone would want to have sex with me, I would instantly suspect ulterior motives. I may be somewhat cute, but there sure are better looking guys arount, who are more accessible mentally and sexually.

Sex also grosses me out, it's such a weird concept to put your cock into another person, like, what's up with that shit? Who invented this? If it weren't for sexual education, the internet and the guy in elementary school who barged in in the morning, yelling "DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT FUCKING IS!?" I think I would still have no clue about it right now. I sure as hell wouldn't have come up with it myself.

>>18212032
>the guy in elementary school who barged in in the morning, yelling "DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT FUCKING IS!?"

What happened here? Sounds funny!

>>18212032
Man, sex is weird. There's lots of fluids, people getting inserted into other people, all sorts of weird noises. I don't get it.

>>18212028
Dude what, you sound fine. Post a pic of yourself

>>18212070
I'm not comfortable doing that on 4chan, but I appreciate it.

I'm overweight, obviously that's a turn off for many. I also have one eye that's smaller than the other (I can't see out of it), but that's not something people would notice with my glasses on, or so I've been told. Nobody's ever commented on it or looked at me funny, though.

I would do some effort to get sex, if there wasn't a million things I'd deem more worthy of my time. I'd rather just masturbate once in a while to keep my urges at bay and spend my time differently.

>>18212235

How do you feel after you fap? Describe?


Because for me, it ruins my day. If I fap, I regret it almost immediately after I cum. I'll feel worn, depressed, and guilty. The rest of my day I'll feel sad and out of it. nothing but regret and weakness

>>18211545
Distance created that feeling. But with the same intensity with which you cry, is the same intensity with which you will love.

Your circumstance was just not in your favor. Had it been in your favor, she would have felt loved.

But be happy. God has removed from your life something you don't need. This means even greater things are up ahead.

>>18212366

>greater things are ahead?

Perhaps, but not with women tho

>>18207878
I worry that any feelings I have for women are going to be seen as bad, pathetic, disgusting, weak and wrong.
That's all my romantic life has been and how people have treated me to make me think that.

>>18212370
>>18212366
Your true treasure is in the afterlife where no Chads, niggers, Jews or communists can take it from you.

>>18212383

>Your true treasure is in the afterlife where no Chads, niggers, Jews or communists can take it from you

Not sure if this is a joke or if you're trying to be serious

>>18207878
It's more like the other way round. I'm divorced some five years back. Male. Financially I'm well off. Got my own fairly large place, have a hobby, lift and cardio to maintain physical form despite being born last century. No lack of interest from the opposite sex in general .. that is until they find out I got three kids. That moment they break it off/run for the hills ... So not feeling undederving, rather undesirable and I can't understand why, since most of the women I've dated has been within an acceptable age gap and in most cases have had both ex and kid/kids of their own ....

>>18212040
Well, literally this. Of course everybody's answer was no, so he was kind enough to explain. This saved many parents the embarassing story of bees and flowers.

Sex isn't even a part of my life. I don't think about it, the idea of a girl wanting to fuck me is as unbelievable as monkeys flying in the sky or whatever. I'm not bad looking, I just don't know what to do or what to say. So eventually I just gave up trying and focused on other things and ignore women completely. I don't talk to them or pursue them anymore. I feel a lot better, way less pressure.

I have a frustratingly high libido and pretty good social skills, but had a really bad childhood socially so I just feel uncomfortable getting close to people or interacting with them in a meaningful way. I don't think I'm ugly, but I sure feel that way.

>>18213436
>way less pressure.
I wish I could have that. Even if I gave up, my family would keep the pressure on. They want me to both sleep around constantly and be married.

>>18214959
not him but my family does that same shit
as if they don't realize they raised me wrong and all that forced social isolation wasn't a dreadful abuse

the worst part is i do desperately want a family of my own but it's totally beyond my reach

>>18207897
>I'm certain that I'm desirable to someone, just have to move away somewhere.
I've lived all around the country and it's always been bad. I live near Seattle now in an area with an illegal amount of beautiful women and it's sad.

But on the flip side everyone is super nice.

>>18207878
I don't really see myself as traditionalist, but I think I probably wouldn't be interested in having casual sex; seems kinda pointless when I've turned fapping into a skill. The only reason I'd have sex would be to experience that kind of intimacy with someone I love dearly. However, I can't find out unless I actually have sex for the first time, which isn't going to happen soon. I'm not dating anyone or anything close and I don't want my first time to be completely meaningless.

Honestly, all I long for is an emotionally intimate relationship. I enjoy solitude, because it's serene; but it's also terrifying, because it's cold. I've been alone for six years and it doesn't help that my only ex was with me just to manipulate me into giving her a shitload of money... At least she sucked my dick twice? That experience still kind of fucked me up, though.

Other women have approached me, but I struggle with social anxiety and a low self-esteem. I've been in therapy for almost three years and have only recently admitted that I want an intimate relationship. I was painfully embarrassed to express that desire because my low self-esteem makes me think I absolutely don't deserve anyone. The contradiction between that idea and my attempts to approach women constantly makes me suffer.

Even though I still feel like shit quite frequently, my mental health has been slowly improving thoughout the years. Hopefully I can continue to sort that out and make steady progress to turn my life around.

>>18207878

>tfw want to move into a place without roommates specifically so I can buy, use, and store Dragon Dildos without fear of judgement

>avoiding sex

I feel like the women in this thread are the only ones actively avoiding anything, the dudes just dont try but never have pussy thrown at them.

Being nervous and insecure about your virginity doesnt really equate with "avoiding sex"

I'm tall and have a good thicc bod with a pretty face and I've been told by everyone I've been in bed with that I was great but I have so much anxiety sleeping with people that I've never really been myself. Suddenly I see every flaw, any cellulite, scars, I think my breasts look odd, I worry about what I look like in different positions. I want pleasure but a lot of the time I just please my partner, which I enjoy the fuck out of, but it lets me avoid being naked.

>>18215549
Have you ever had a boyfriend or you just fuck dudes off tinder? Youll get comfortable if you fuck one dude 20 times.

>>18215555
Had a bf of two years. I was pretty comfortable with him but still paranoid, I didn't move a lot or really let myself get into it. I know it's a personal esteem issue and I'm trying to work on it but I still get so nitpicky about my body.

>>18215560
Mmm maybe if i gave you a good pounding and smacked those janky tits around we could get you loosened up.

File: ginger.png (18KB, 205x267px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 205x267px

>grow with internet and free porno
>used to see beautiful people smash each other
>say to myself I won't have sex until it would be something I would watch myself
>too lazy to get fit
>real life girls don't look like my perfect 2D wiafus
>never ever.png
I don't even give a fuck no mo.

I do. I'm afraid of men. My dad was at times the most tender, nurturing and devoted father you can imagine, but he had huge anger issues and I really set him off just by doing kid things. He'd yell at me full force, chase me around the house, call me disgusting and said I made him want to puke, made fun of my voice and mannerisms, exploded even harder if I started crying etc etc etc. I was deadly afraid of him, had nightmares about him all the time.

I adore men, I have always had some male friends, I love coming here to read from the male perspective, I'll sit next to a man instead of a woman on the train if I can etc etc. But there's this really deep knee jerk reflex in me to not let them get so close to me that they can hurt me, emotionally or physically. It's particularly bad because guys always get taught they need to escalate and what not... but the moment a man puts his hand on me before I am more than ready, it's like something inside me snaps shut and any lust I might have been feeling vanishes, I just feel like I need to protect myself and get my ass out of this situation.
Still a virgin, will turn twenty four in April.

>tl;dr there's daddy issues where you fuck no one instead of everyone

>>18215573
There are guys out there that can play the tender, kind role and be a dominant daddy (sounds like you are into that) for you at the same time. Make your desires known more clearly, youre a good girl and you just need experience to get over your trauma, no guy is gonna do that to you again, you have the power as a grown woman to put an end to abuse.

>>18212454
100% serious. Blacks will steal your wallet or your car, chads will steal your girl, Jews will steal your house and communists will steal your freedom. But in the afterlife, nobody can take away your happiness for all eternity.

>>18215580
I'm pretty sure you're going to hell.

>>18215579
I'm actually not as far as I know, I've fooled around with someone once (everything lined up, he was a long term friend who had been in a relationship for years so he had been a safe non-option, then suddenly went on a break... but they got back together before it got serious, sadly) and I just really like passionate sex that doesn't have an aggressive edge.
I also don't care for porn/erotica featuring male dominance. And I hope to god I never do because honestly the idea that these childhood memories shaped my sexual self repulses me.

Thank you for your kind reply, but the issue isn't that I rationally think there aren't men like that. All my friends are patient, considerate men who don't get angry easily - I don't like to be around guys who do get angry often. I know they treat their girls well. I've seen countless sensitive and romantic and what not declarations from guys on here. Rationally there is no issue.
It feels like my very reptile brain nopes out when the actual situation arises. It's not a conscious choice, either, it's this fight or flight feeling where sexual desire is the last thing on your mind. Also been in therapy for four years and I've tried stuff, I say yes to any guy asking me out trying to broaden my comfort zone, but so far it hasn't worked out yet.

>>18215588
I guess its much more intense than i assumed. Good luck with your surgery and dating. Do you speak up and tell guys what youre looking for and what your issue is? Or just allow them to make a move then freak out.

>>18215590
>surgery

Therapy

>>18215590
Surgery?
But thanks for the rest. I keep hoping I will naturally overcome it at some point, obviously I keep getting more desperate sexually as well so I just really hope one day it will be strong enough to outweigh the fear.

If I get to know someone better then I tell them. The thing is they always underestimate it, they always think "oh cute, she's a bit nervous and needs to take it slow"... obviously I don't want to lay it all out right away either. Most guys I've been on dates with did not make a move because they could tell I was not into it. If they do try I stop them before it happens, apologize and say I'm not feeling it, I don't want it. It's shitty but I made the mistake once of allowing a guy to kiss me on the mouth (a kiss on the cheek I can still handle if it's someone I know well) and I burst into tears then and there, could not stop weeping. I don't ever want to put someone else into that position again.

>>18207878
I'll just get this out of the way.
A. Who's she? Looks cute.
B. How the fuck is this thread still up?
C. Is it really that easy to get laid at under 22?
D. It's been like, 5 weeks since I last talked to my crush. Is it over or nah?
E. I don't avoid it, but rather, it avoids me regularly. I keep trying to accept the left hand being my lover, but I'm starting to think maybe it's losing appeal. I won't ever try nofap, let's be honest, but I'm considering limiting it to like, 3 times a week.

>>18215601
So from what i've read, you desire sex, and youve been sexual in the past with a guy that you were very close with.

I would say, in the future, if a guy seems promising to you just lay it out 100%. Tell him, "i have anxiety about sex, i only feel comfortable doing it when i really know someone well, but i like you and would like to see how things develop with you". It probably seems like an outlandish thing to say, but trust me as a man when i tell you its the best thing you could say. Men are very analytical and straightforward, so even if thats not what they want to hear it will be like a breath of fresh air and they will respond well.

>>18215573
>I love coming here to read from the male perspective

of 4chan?

>>18215607
I do desire sex, I masturbate all the time. And correct, but it was a very special situation. What actually happened is that he showed interest in me, I shut down like I always do. He got together with another girl, he was not scary anymore because he would not date/want anything with me, I could feel again that actually I liked this guy. Started seeing him in a sexual light. Then it took three years before they went on that break. I am pretty sure that even if it was after a year or something, I would've liked the idea but would've shut down if he came to me for anything physical. But it had been so long and I'd gotten to know him so well without any "threat" of sexuality that it ended up working out.
(Obviously I'm not in touch with him anymore, would not be appropriate after what happened, break or not.)

It doesn't seem that outlandish to me, I have done this once with a guy I had gone on more dates with. He was also quite open and communicated well and I straight up told him I had some fear surrounding men and did not know whether I would be ready for dating anyone anywhere in the near future. He was really cool about it but it caused me so much pressure to at least ultimately develop those feelings. While I have not been in love with anyone for five years. I ended up breaking it off because I felt like I led him on while I had no clue whether I'd ever be ready to be with or do anything with him. That doesn't help either, not only do I feel anxiety if a guy pays me special attention but there's this "you should know what broken goods I am" voice as well. I know it only makes everything worse but it's really hard to silence.

>>18215610
Yeah. Sure it's not necessarily representative for the whole of men, but there are few places where you can speak out as freely (anonymously) as here, and especially when I started coming here (seven-ish years ago) it was entirely male dominated.

>>18215618
So you felt nothing for that guy you were dating or your self doubt caused you to destroy it?

>>18215625
The problem is that I get so nervous I can't feel anymore what I do or do not feel. I thought he was attractive, but I find by far most men attractive in one way or another. I thought he was nice and understanding, but that's not the foundation of a sexual relationship. I did not feel fluttery feelings or anything, I did not daydream about him, but it's really hard for me to know whether that's because he's not the "right" guy or because I'm too fucked up to feel those things and it wouldn't have changed anything if someone else took his place.

>>18215625
Also wanted to add, I dated him for half a year (not weekly, but we went out once-twice a month) and still was not at the point where the idea of kissing him made me feel anything but dread. It just started being too long for me, I felt like such an asshole.

At least I paid for half of everything I guess.

>>18215630
Ugh you sound so delicious, you just need to be unleashed. I would love to be the one to light the candles and sprinkle the rose petals on the mattress for you :D It will happen, just take things as they come and continue to communicate. I know girls who went through equally or arguably more traumatic things and they have healthy sex.

>>18215569
>2d 4eva

I don't know how that won't drive you mad after a while. I mean, the pornos with beautiful people made me depressed after a while, cos it's unattainable for autists such as ourselves. 2d is even more impossible.

>>18215637
Not going to lie, it's pretty nice to hear that it still sounds in some way desirable to you, but I assure you it would not be that much fun in real life.

>or arguably more traumatic
That's the thing, I know it's completely twisted but sometimes I feel so resentful knowing that other women have been through sometimes blood curdling things and manage to be sexual with other people all the same. Not that I wish to take their place but still, it's really frustrating to struggle with something so much when "logically" speaking it shouldn't be this big a deal.

Thanks for talking to me anyway, I hope you have a good day, anon.

>>18215648
>it's pretty nice to hear that it still sounds in some way desirable to you

Thats just how men are. I dont know you, But the way you talk about being pent up and masturbating still makes you seem attractive in my head, even with the crying and anxiety that you mentioned. We're fucked up. BUT that means that we'll put up with a whole lot for pussy, so dont ever feel like youre leading a guy on or wasting his time, that motherfucker is choosing to be there and it actively trying to make the sex happen. So be confident, guys want you obviously. You must be quite cute if after the speech you gave him he kept dating you for that long. And get those fuckers to pay for your meals while youre at it.

>>18215653
>You must be quite cute if after the speech you gave him he kept dating you for that long.
I'm cute but mostly I like to think it was still fun for him in other ways. I'm good at conversing, I am very interested in people even if I am closed off in the most intimate aspect, I see humor in a lot of things, I have interesting hobbies, there's no way I'll be on my phone while with someone etc. Besides to be fair we weren't in any way exclusive and I am sure he was taking other girls out as well, which I was more than fine with because it relieved the guilt.

Nah, I don't want them to pay for me, it just doesn't sit right with me. Besides I like taking turns (not going 50/50 but one person paying for both then the other one paying for both next time) so I could also feel like I was taking him out. Looking back on it that was pretty fun actually, just too nervous in the moment.

But thanks again, I try really hard to be confident. I am in many other aspects, just not this one and it needs to catch up...

>>18215662
You sound extremely similar to a girlfriend i had. She ended up being a complete savage in bed when i unleashed her, it was glorious. But she shared the same guilty, people pleaser, i hope everyone likes me attitude as you and its honestly offputting. Like i said, these guys want you so embrace it, dont feel like youre wasting anyones time and dont be afraid to demand things out of the relationship that will make you happy (like exclusivity maybe?).

But listen, also another pill thats hard to swallow. Most men are complete polar opposites from you in the way they think about sex. There doesnt have to be any attatchment, or emotion, or getting to know you, they just see you walking by and think "damn i would really like to bend her over".

And thats not to say that men are incapable of closeness or affection, of course we enjoy that as much as women, but it isnt what we seek initially. So understand that this is how men work, use it to your advantage.

>>18215671
Haha well I think that would not be a problem, I was pretty intense with the friend as well. I guess it's in part because I'm so used to feel hung up about sex that if I do have it, I don't have time for worrying about whether something is weird or too much.
I know it's off putting. I am not like this in every part of my life, I am pretty uncompromising when it comes to what I make, I have quit jobs because I did not (morally) agree with stuff they wanted me to do and told them straight up that was the reason, I am healthily assertive when it comes to my friends. It's just romance where I feel I need to work so hard to compensate for my issues, and feel insecure about what I have to offer. Not in terms of looks or shallow sexual things but in terms of being someone's long term lover, never having been in a relationship and all.

I know there's a difference, as I said I've been around here for a long time so I heard men discuss sex often (and I still think many guys here are introverted, insecure etc and less apt to go after what they want than the average one). I try to incorporate this in how I act.

>>18215692
Well ill tell you right now, the majority of men you meet wont have a problem with you being experienced. Its actually sort of a plus when considering a serious relationship, you always see guys here talking about how "i'll never marry a whore, only pure girls". So just take the evidence that guys are attracted to you and turn it into confidence. Youll be crushing dick left and right.

>>18215701
From my point of view it's actually a bit ironic, because when I see those things I think they want a girl who is completely sexually healthy and just chose to abstain or wait for that anon for whatever reason... While in practice especially the older they get, it's not exactly a coincidence if a girl has never gone all the way. But I know it's a big thing.

>>18215706
Yea when guys say that they definitely arent hoping for a girl who cries when she gets naked. But still, you could be someones dream girl if you allowed yourself to open up. Im saying all this shit not knowing how intense your anxiety feels so im just talking out of my ass though.

>>18215710
Thanks man, it doesn't matter, it's nice being encouraged :) I hope you meet someone as sexually ferocious but less sexually stunted than I am.

>>18215720
Thanks, i hope you meet a guy that you totally fall for.

>>18207917
I think you need to stop masturbating anon... increase that libido or shit

I feel like an idiot. I wrote to my crush... yet again. Probably with no response. I basically did it in a real fuckit sort of way. But I divulged everything I felt. And even though I told her I'm not trying to put her on a pedestal, I realize it's harder for me than I thought to stay away..

Sad to think. Because I don't even know if she's single or taken. And as soon as I realized that, I felt my stomach hurting, chest pain. God forbid I destabilize anything she has going.

She is just so ideal, compatible, etc.

Sad to think she's probably either taken.. or even more crazy than I think she is. She's into edgy gore stuff.. hmm

I will stop all communication till we meet again I guess.

>>18207878
I don't avoid it, I just can't get it and kind of stopped trying. I've never been in a relationship of any kind. If it comes to that though I'd probably wait until I knew I wanted to spend my life with them.

I'm not sure how to approach that or sex though. I have no idea what I'm doing either way. That's probably going to be a topic early on. I'm clueless.

>>18207878
I don't avoid it so much as have no interest in playing second fiddle to my animal nature.
If it means I don't put myself out there to 'get sum fuk' then so be it.

>inb4 'typical autist'

>>18207878
For someone who can't handle a relationship and doesn't like fwb, what do they do?
For details about not being able to handle a relationship, see;
>>18216685
since it's too much of an explanation to fit in here.
And as for fwb, for me, a large part of sex is the relationship and mental aspects of it, so just doin it with a willing friend doesn't do much for me.

>>18216457
Autist.