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Anonymous
Resilience, and lack thereof 2017-04-09 08:15:09 Post No. 18206349
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Resilience, and lack thereof 2017-04-09 08:15:09 Post No. 18206349
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As you might've guessed, I've got a problem with resilience: I really have none of it (or pretty close).
I have been a more or less avoidant person for at least 15 years now, especially in my teen years, so I didn't build up any resistance to setbacks, failure and rejection (the fact that I'm a somewhat sensitive bitch with an inferiority complex, poor self-control, and a negative view of life doesn't help, either).
Now, this constitutes an obstacle for several things, mainly (my priorities might be skewed, but whatever, it also serves as an example) the managing of my body image: I literally can't see my social life (especially with women) ever going somewhere until I gain some self-esteem in this department, because it really holds me back a lot.
But it's difficult: I almost always don't even start doing anything (because I'm ashamed of showing myself) and, when I do, because I have very little resistance to exertion, I get frustrated pretty easily when I think about how fruitless it all is unless I keep repeating that humiliating experience over and over.
I'm not used to suffering (not in this way, at least), and the idea that the only way out is through endless pain disheartens me to no end.
What can I do?
TL;DR: Lacking resilience. What do?
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Shameless self-bump
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Moar bumping because I don't know what else to do
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>>18206349
You're not talking about resilience. Resilience is proven to yourself by enduring hardships. Avoiding difficult situations is just cowardice.
Fact is that you don't know how resilient you are, because you refuse to test yourself. Try it, the feeling of going through some shit and coming out the other side successfully is great.
Protip: we are each of us stronger than we think
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>>18206576
Albeit not to great extents, I'd say I have tested myself.
The fact that - for example - I can't really stand physical exertion (I'm not saying this without knowing it) makes me think I lack the aforementioned resilience: if I can't really endure hardships, I must be not very resilient.
About the "coming out successfully", I think that only applies to situations when results of the effort are somewhat immediate and tangible.
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this is gonna sound really, REALLY fuckin dumb, but honestly, play dark souls.
that game honestly changed how i view life in some ways. it showed me that no matter what, as long as i persevere and stay resillient, i can overcome any obstacle and accomplish my goals.
and yet here i am about to go jerk off instead of working on any of my goals.
eh, what can ya do.
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