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Anonymous
Am I a dead beat dad? 2017-04-09 07:31:11 Post No. 18204545
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Am I a dead beat dad? 2017-04-09 07:31:11 Post No. 18204545
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I've been paying my ex child support at more than 3x what I'm legally obliged to. I have paid his school fees, put shoes on his feet and gone halves in medical expenses. I regularly buy him boxes of pokemon card boosters, and other little toys that he asks for.
Despite all this, his mother still calls me a "deadbeat dad". She moved him to a different town when he was a baby, so I've only been seeing him twice a year. I have to father him over the phone.
I tried to open a dialogue about me moving to her town, and she said she didn't want me to. She said I would be a bad influence on my son, despite being a drug and alcohol free, Christian with zero criminal record.
I took offense to this, and I threatened to reduce my child support to the base amount set by law. She responded with a tirade of abuse and threatened to kill me.
I want to reduce my support so that she might learn to have some appreciation for my input, instead of referring to me as a "sperm donor". Her counter is that if I reduce my payments, it will affect my son negatively. She will have to cut some of his activities like guitar lessons, and won't be able to access medical support as readily.
I'm at a loss on what to do. I can't move up there while she has this animosity towards me as I don't want to expose my son to it. I don't want my son to be affected by the reduced income on her end, but I need some way to show her that my input is valuable and I'm doing my best to be a good father.
What should I do?
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I don't think you should take your ex's words to heart you're doing more than what's necessary.
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Sounds like she doesent have a lot of money. Take her to court win and have your son dude. Show proof of what she calls you and prove what you pay for. You dont want to spend all this money and not see your own kid. She probs already talks shit on you to him. Show him your the better parent, show the court you are a better parent and fuck her. Yolo, you only live once, dont regret not having your kid.
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>>18204545
If what you say is true, you're far from a deadbeat and sound like the victim here
But this is just your account of the facts, so who knows
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>>18204562
I don't think he cares what his ex thinks, but doesn't want the kid to think that.
>>18204572
Pretty sure this isn't option. Court always sides with woman.
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>>18204575
Not in the case of my parents. I lived with my dad.
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>>18204575
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKfm723mISo
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>>18204574
This is how it is. I wouldn't be seeking advice if I knew I was a deadbeat, and I would have nothing to gain from pretending I'm not on here.
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>>18204575
Yeah, I really don't want to do court because I don't want this difficulty his mother and I are having to impact his life.
He's only 6 at the moment, and I hope that when he gets a bit older he might start to ask questions. I'm saving the messages to show him when he's older, so he can how it was.
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Provein court that she does these shit. I live in a different country but I'm 100% sure you must have some law against alienating the kids against the other parent. If you can provide with this extra money, you can probably get a good enough lawyer, and in my layman's opinion, it's a won case for you. Rip the custody out of this money digging whore op
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>>18204545
No, you are not a deadbeat dad
Take this from some who has 12 half-brothers and sisters due to his own deadbeat dad
you need to take you son back from her
SHE WILL RUIN HIM
She is literally ransoming your son's happiness to extort more money from you
she is using her own child as a meal ticket
>but I need some way to show her that my input is valuable and I'm doing my best to be a good father
she doesn't give a damn, a person who would threaten to punish her own child for something so selfish, hell if she has a job she might even quit to force you to pay more.
>She responded with a tirade of abuse and threatened to kill me.
>She will have to cut some of his activities like guitar lessons, and won't be able to access medical support as readily.
Record this next time, and make sure to record her threatening to punish your son too
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>>18204545
Don't let your son have to live with the regret of hating his father due to his petty mothers manipulative behavior.
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>>18204545
Reduce the money. This type of illogical animal only understands action. Your son will survive.
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>>18205008
>a person who would threaten to punish her own child for something so selfish
*a parent shouldn't threaten to punish her own child for something so selfish
sorry, your situation just reminded me how petty and manipulative women can be,even with their own flesh and blood
and that just angered me
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