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I'll give you guys the skinny.
Marriage has died. Been dead for about a year now, but for some reason we're both still together. I have been doing literally everything possible for my wife that she has asked me to change for her, and showing her progress and everything. She's had major trust issues in the past so I give her 24/7 100% access to my phone and everything in it because I have nothing to hide. We have a daughter together and she has a son from a previous relationship.
Basically for the past year our relationship has been deteoriating. I have never raised my hand or my voice at her, but our fights have been getting worse and worse, and while I calmly talk to her she is screaming st the top of her lungs. Recently she began hitting me, and I know how much damage I could do if I hit back so I do whatever I can to keep her off of me without hurting her.
I love my daughter more than life itself, and she is the only reason I have not divorced because I don't want to get fucked over by the courts and see my child who I love and have raised on my own because my wife is sleeping whenever she is home and after I get off work and on my days off both my daughter and her son are my responsibility.
I am miserable and depressed and I feel bad for my wife because she has major issues going on and I know if by some miracle I won full custody of our daughter she would kill herself because of her mental instability, and I don't want my daughter going through that.
My wife gave me a black eye on her most recent fight and it took everything I had not to hit back. I can't keep this up.
Everyone I talk to says to sit her down and talk to her, but every time I try she plays the victim and gets mad at me and blames me.
My daughter is my whole world, and I am doing my best to shield her from all of this, but I know if I left I would feel better but my daughter would be left to the mercy of a mentally unstable woman and I am afraid of every outcome. I don't know what to do.
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I realize it seems scattered, it's just hard to formulate into thoughts. I don't have anyone to talk to because she won't let me have any friends, male or female. I've done my best to compromise but I just can't take this anymore.
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>>18203986
Have you ever tried to get her to see a psychologist? If she has issues they can be treated
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If you think asking about a psychologist is too much try marriage counselling, and have that lead in to seeing a psychologist. Hell, start seeing one yourself. it will probably help
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>>18204075
This. You both have to work on yourselves. Once that's taken care of, you can handle other things.
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Get three shrinks, one for you, one for her, and one for your couple. Like this she won't feel bad seeing one herself, and you probably need someone neutral to talk to about all this fucking abuse.
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OP, read carefully:
Now is the time to start gathering evidence. Things you should do to build your case for a clean split:
>get 24/7 home cameras
>install them in places where you think you fight the most (every room to be safe honestly)
>start going on your phone to record voice notes during every violent interaction
>begin to scout marriage attorneys who are familiar with abusive, and manipulative women
be sure to do this EVERY time she begins to attack you. you want proof that SHE is being abusive and you are NOT
You have never hit her once, and that is good. but this relationshit is LONG gone OP. you need to leave. once you bring up divorce, she WILL claim you hit her. You want to shut this down as soon as possible
Look for 2 bedroom apartments where you and your daughter can live comfortably.
A marriage where the parents hate each other and stay for the kid is just as bad, or even worse than a divorce.
Leave the woman, also, see if she is cheating on you. Find out, could help your case. You just want to be able to prove yourself innocent, and not the cause of the divorce when the time comes.
P.S. its inevitable, because if you won't divorce her, SHE will divorce you
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>>18204124
This is the only good advice here and I'm more than certain your wife is cheating on you OP. She may have BPD but for the sake of your kids it's better to shut this shit down.
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>>18204124
THIS
OP GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE
Matter of time she gets tired of hitting you and starts hitting your daughter. And then you will kill her.
Pack your shit. It's done. You are a victim in an abusive relationship. It won't work out. Leave.
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OP, this is abuse. It may not be the traditional male on female abuse, but it is abuse.
>no privacy
>physical violence
>isolating you from your friends and family
Gather evidence and go to the police, and file for divorce. If there is clear evidence of her abusing you, you'll have more sway in the family court.
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>>18204238
>traditional male on female abuse
Except males get abused way more
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>>18204268
But men don't die of it as much.
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