I live in England and was born into a sikh family. When i was

On a practical level my beard really deoresses me to

In the morning to make it neat I have to hairspray and tie it. This take 1hr and 10 mins so i have to wake up an extra hour for work which makes me lose sleep.

When i shower my beard gets very frizzy so I have to straighten it afterward... this makes showring a much longer process. It takes 40 mins instead of 5 mins to shower, dry my beard and straighten it.

When i have my beard tied up and set i plaçe with hairspray i get paranoid about moving my face too much for fear itll mess up my set beard. So I struggle eating and moving my jaw

Tbh i dont think im looking for any advice the only answer is to shave... which i cant do. It will break my parents heart. And i admit this isnt a major issue... I have a great life but sometimes being ugly gets me down and i want to get it off my chest

>>18201470
just shave if it makes you miserable

>>18201470
I feel bad for you guys living with religious types.

There's really only one choice if you fucking hate your long hair and that's to get a haircut. Seeing as you haven't done so in the past few years despite posting here multiple times, what exactly is the point of your post? We're not going to magically give you an epiphany

>>18201470
If you have moved out of your family home why not just tell them how you feel about everything, would they really choose their religion and cast you out just for shaving?

>>18201481

Tbh im not looking for advice. It doesnt get me down every day. Just sometimes. I guess i just wanted to get it off my chest for the first time in 2017

>>18201487
I live with my parents. That is what sikh culture demands I dont mind living with my oarents though. They wouldn't throw me out the house but they would shout at me, stop taljing to me, my mom would cry i might even get hit.

I genuinely dont mind being hit but i really just dont want to upset my parents. Their dream was to have a sikh son with long hair and I would be denying them their dream

>>18201470
Got a non practising friend .. no miles of hair/beard etc ... As happy as can be

>>18201470
That is cool as fuck. At least you dont have to go and alah ackbar bridge with truck.

Can you maybe just make it shorter? Or like talk to your parents?

I'm very ignorant on sikh rules but I've seen sikh guys who had trimmed beards, are you absolutely forbidden from keeping it short/trimmed too?
Or will your parents make a fuss even if you trim your beard?
The added hour of grooming does sound annoying, but a lot of people can pull off the bearded look pretty well, it doesn't automatically make you ugly

>>18201479
It's your life. You're making yourself miserable over something you don't even believe in. Will your parents be upset? Maybe. But that's on them, not you. At some point you've got to stop lying to your parents, grow up, and live your life on your terms, not your theirs.

That or you're going to have to wait for them to die.

>>18201550
As with all religions some people are more devout than others. I envy those who trim their beards but in my family we cannot trim our beards

>>18201581
Have you considered braiding your beard? Once you learn how, it takes less than 5 minutes with no straightening or hairspray.

Also, it's likely your beard is getting so frizzy in the shower because you're damaging it with a straightener and hairspray every day. Consider using conditioner and a beard oil (or something like sunflower oil with a few drops of tea tree oil in it) to smooth it out, brushing it with a fine bristle brush, and using pomade to hold it in place where needed.

So peculiar

Guru Nanak said not to engage in any weird rituals or superstitions like circumcision or halal slaughter or sati but then everyone decides you MUST carry the five articles of faith

>>18201494
I am a Hindu, went to a Sikh school, ex wife is a Sikh, daughter is half Sikh. I understand you brah. The reason you feel indebted to your parents is because you were taught from the beginning that you owe them something. Remember the myth of Shravan Kumar who carried his blind parents on his shoulders to the 4 pilgrimage cities? He was the greatest son of all time. You grew up with your parents telling you that you should be like him. Last time my parents reminded me of him I asked them what kind of shitty parents make their son waste his life because they want to be tourists? What does it say about them that they would let their son waste his youth for their pleasure. Instead they should have been meditating under a tree if they wanted to get close to their God and let their son live his life.

My friend Rahul Duggal cut his hair, his mom cried, his dad kicked him out of the house, he went to chandivarh and supported himself by doing fashion modelling. His parents got over it after few years and they are all a happy family now.

My point is that you dont owe anything to anyone. You are a thinking feeling speck of dust in this universe. Dont waste your life by trying to adhere to standards of other people even if they are your parents. Do what makes you happy.

>>18201804
The five articles of faith:
Kesh (Hair)
Kada (Bracelet)
Kachcha (underwear)
Kataar (Knife)
Kanga (Comb)

Amirite?

>>18201494

>Their dream was to have a sikh son with long hair and I would be denying them their dream

Yet they raised you in England for some reason. It's no surprise that you feel this way after living in a western European culture for 25 years.

I think this long hair rule is gonna prevent you from ever getting a native English wife. You feel ugly everywhere you go because it is genuinely unsual for men to walk around with 8 inch bears and long wrapped in a turban.

You might find more dignity, happiness and acceptance by shaving your beard and getting a normal haircut, but there's also the fact that you'd be abandoning your heritage, and that seems to be a large part of your indentity. It's a difficult desicision for sure. If your sikh getup is preventing you from making a decent friend group and you believe its hindering you from getting what you ultimately desire in life (for most people it's to raise a family) then I'd reccomend cutting it. Your parents should've seen this coming.

>>18201581
What if you went that route instead? You don't need to tell them you don't believe in it, just practice it in slightly looser terms. Slowly ease them into your non-belief over however long it takes for you to feel comfortable.

>>18201835
This seems to be good advice for OP. Good luck man, write them a letter and explain and then shave. Do it

When you gather the courage to shave or at least trim make sure the first stroke is in the centre of the beard/chin so theres no going back and you wont hesitate past that. Remember OP, hair can always grow back. You may have to deal with the consequences of your parents being upset at first but if you change your mind about the lifestyle you can always grow back the beard

>>18201470
You could try to prepare your parents gradually. Or maybe just tell them it makes you feel ugly and it takes a lot of your time and ASK what they would think about you shaving.

>>18201494
This is what religion does to people, your proof is right here. It manipulates and extorts. You can't even be honest with what you believe without the threat of being ostracized and abused. Shame.