I'm concerned that my lack of courage and general anti-social

>How do I deal with these occasional events without making a mess?

Why not just kindly tell them that you're not interested? Ignoring someone is one of the cruelest things you can do to a person, especially when they go out of their way to reach out to you.

Non of these girls offered you sex, they just tried to be friends with you, but you couldn't look beyond that.

If you regard girls around you only as oportunities for sex, of course they will notice and dislike that.

>>18199755
I didn't realise it was considered cruel, I definitely didn't want to be.

The point is that if I have to tell someone I'm not interested, like you're proposing, I understand that to be a difficult thing.

Why should I have to deal with that (a downside of relationships), when I get no upside?

>>18199776
They never said they were interested in you to start with.

>>18199764
I didn't think that these were opportunities for sex, or that sex would result..?

>>18199781
They invited me for dates or asked me if I was single?

>>18199782
Then why did you feel the need to turn them down?

Of course youre going to be a miserable loner if you keep turning people down.

>>18199791
I didn't turn them down I stayed in my world which is one where I don't have relationships. I chose to not enter the relationship world?

>>18199789
My work colleauges has asked me if im single as well, that doesnt mean they want to date me.

>>18199800
Yeah but this was a build up over time where she was talking to me in that particular way of being interested.

>>18199794
And your problem is what then?

>>18199808
That I'm causing these people to hate me rather than remain friends.

>>18199804
Its completely fine to turn people down if you dont like them back.

Doesnt mean you have to cut contact.

>>18199811
Because youre acting like a social retard.

>>18199812
But my point is I shouldn't have to. That's a difficult act of confrontation.

Meaning I will have taken the downside of relationships wth no prospect of upside.

>>18199814
Then help me please?

>>18199818
Just tell them you like them as friends.

How many girls do you think have told me exactly those words? Why didnt we remain friends? Because i didnt want to be just friends with them to begin with.

But if your desire is to be friendzoned, just embrace it.

>>18199776
>The point is that if I have to tell someone I'm not interested, like you're proposing, I understand that to be a difficult thing.

It is difficult but it should get easier over time. Knowing how to rejecting people is generally a good communication skill to have.

>Why should I have to deal with that (a downside of relationships), when I get no upside?

Well, why did you feel the need to make this thread? Since you're obviously going to bothered about it either way, you might as well go with the option that doesn't make other people hate you, right?

>>18199833
Agreed, but it doesn't seem fair that I have to deal with this. I didn't ask them to be interested.

>>18199826
This is harder than it sounds.

>>18199732
>Clearly I am too old to lose my virginity/learn how to have a relationship gracefully.
No, you really aren't. Even if we want to skip the "it's never too late" motivational shit, it's just objectively not true. I didn't become active in dating until I was 26, and I'm now happily married. Keep in mind that for every inexperienced, socially awkward man, there's an equally inexperienced, socially awkward woman, and when two of them pair off they can happily be stiff and weird together.

Oh I remember you. God, I want to punch you so bad.
Guys, this guy doesn't want to realize the flaw in his logic, don't even bother.

>>18199859
Remember me?

>ignore people
>wonder why they get upset
No one can be this dumb, right?

>>18199847
Yes but at 27 I don't have any of the basic skills learned ten years earlier... it's too much of a bridge to overcome.

>>18199865
Yes but I don't even want to be in the relationship arena. I don't get any of the benefits so why should I deal with the tough work of delicate rejection?

>>18199843
>Agreed, but it doesn't seem fair that I have to deal with this. I didn't ask them to be interested.

Well, unfortunately that's how life is. If you want absolutely no human relations the only solution left is to go live a self-sustaining life in the mountains or some other desolated place. As long as you're dependent on human interaction you'll have to be prepared to face the downsides of it from time to time.

And keep in mind that you're not the only one getting a bad deal; everyone is dealing with downsides of relationships all the time.

>>18199873
...yes but they get big upsides.

I eliminated this from my life because it was making me massively sad.

>>18199866
No, it isn't. Until my mid to late twenties I literally couldn't look a woman in the eye, could barely speak to people in person, and only ever interacted with people online.

It'll be difficult, but if you don't get it done that's your own decision, don't think it's impossible, you're just shirking responsibility for your own life.

>>18199862
Oh no. Don't tell me there is actually more than one person with that logic.
A guy posted here with the same question, because a coworker he's been hanging out asked him if he's single. Instead of saying "yeah but I'm not interested", he proceeded to ignore her. She apologized, and he still ignored her. Even when we were saying that you just need a small text, he didn't want to go out of his comfort zone because he didn't want to engage in anything related to relationships, even if he can salvage his friendship with it.
As if running away will solve his problems lol.

Don't be anti social. Spoiler Alert: People hate that. Your friends will slowly start to not hang around you cause it will give them a bad name and people will start labeling your friends as anti social too. Also being social is fun. Dating is fun. If you don't ever even attempt to try and date or socialize you'll regret it forever. So try it, who cares if you fail at it, you'll eventually find someone thats right for you.

>>18199878
So what you're saying is you gave up because it was too hard?

>>18199878
Well since you're worried about reputational risks for your career, a big upside for you would be keeping your job, right?

>>18199889
I get your point, I've heard it a lot. But when I tried to have relationships when I was pre-21 it led to failure and rejection, which caused me to be very depressed and worse.

I genuinely believe that my conscious decision to remove myself from relationships saved my
Iife.

>>18199889
>If you don't ever even attempt to try and date or socialize you'll regret it forever.

Not OP but i'm a friendless 27khv, why will I regret it?

>>18199913
We have all faced rejection and break ups. I'm still getting over one that happened a month and a half ago! I get your point though. It kills me whenever I think about her cause I really fucking miss her. But, thats still no reason to be anti social. What I would do if i was in your situation, I would try to get out more with your friends and stuff. Try to get them to think your becoming a bit more social. I know many people don't like this idea, but only date people that you were good friends with or have some sort of 'history' with. Those relationships tend to last longer i guess. Only go into dating if you know it will work, or if it makes you happy :) .

>>18199847
>>18199884
Pretty much this. You can work through your issues. If you don't, then it's your own weakness, not some impossible situation you were set up with.

>>18199824
You say you dont want to enter relationship world. But having a friend in a relationship. Make up what you want. And dont me a autisc fuck thinking you should stick to a insane rule you made and lose all these oppertunaties for social contact. If you dont move away from this road hell awaits.

>>18199933
Thanks, unfortunately I see my few friends about 1-2 times per year now with no real option for seeing them more.

>>18199934
It's my choice not my weakness.

>>18199940
I dint want romantic relationships, but want to continue being friends with people. Nothing unclear about that.

>>18199950
Your gonna have to try to see them more often! Why is it that you hardly see them?

>>18199923
If you don't try it, or go for it you'll never know what could've been.

>>18199955
>It's my choice not my weakness
Choosing to do something negative to yourself is in fact a weakness. When someone starts carving out their forearm with a scissors, we stop them and make sure they see a doctor. Problem is, what someone stats doing the mental or emotional equivalent, we can't get involved unless they're willing to admit they need help.

You're a 27 year old man who's neglecting a major part of your life because you're afraid to be rejected.

That is weakness, and it's fine to be weak, but when you have the option to get better, you should take it, and don't delude yourself, you DO have that option, you're just "choosing" to avoid it because you're letting an old and irrational fear rule you.

>>18199972
Meh, i'll be fine with it. Don't really care about life anyway.

>>18199967
Grew apart. I prefer to stay in bed all weekend and evenings is part of it. I'm not sure I want to see friends more? I get bored alone and do sometimes think I'm wasting my life but don't have the desire to change.

Sorry, thank you though.

>>18199979
"Neglecting a major part of your life"

It's not though as I removed it from my life.

>>18199997
No, you're neglecting it, that doesn't mean it's gone. You still have an emotional need for companions, you still have a penis, you still have a sex drive, so relationships are a part of your life, even if you would like to tell yourself you don't need them.

>>18200001
Thanks for your interest etc. But I don't want relationships. I've decided that I will die a virgin,I will never have a relationship.

My life with focus on my career alone.

>>18199980
Agreed :(

>>18200016
Dude your gonna be really upset if you go that route. Humans are made to be social. You will really regret it if you decide to not ever date or have a low social life. I used to think like that, but honestly friends and dating make life A MILLION times better. I know it might be scary trying to love someone again because last time you did you ended up getting hurt, but its worth it. I have no regrets dating, you shouldn't either. One day you'll find someone who is perfect for you.

>>18200016
>My life with focus on my career alone.
Does that bring you happiness? I don't mean satisfaction, I don't mean money, I mean happiness. When you're at work are you smiling all the time? Do you rush through your morning so you can just get to work a little faster?

>>18200097
I have no dating options and no motivation to focus time on this.

>>18200104
No, but I like my job,

>>18200124
So when it comes down to it, you're just afraid to take a risk to have a better life. You'd rather settle for a gray, bland haze of a world rather than taking the risk of getting any white or black.

>>18200133
Yeah I think so. Like I said, when I dipped my toe in this stuff before (and it wasn't just a one off, it was 5 years of trying) I was depressed deeply.

>>18200124
You have to take risks. We are only trying to help. I promise you can easily EASILY find dating options.You said a lot of girls have asked you out before. You gotta atleast try. Working your entire life will rob you of the person you once were. Work robs people of their personality. You can't have a boring and bare life. Take some risks, at least try, and tell us the results.

>>18200136
I'm still i guess 'depressed' cause of my most recent break up but you still have to socialize and try dating again.

>>18200136
You sad little man. I sincerely hope some aggressive, dominant woman comes along and drags you out of that.

>>18200137
Work has already taken my personality. I'm very boring now.

Why would I take risks when I know the outcomes for me. You're asking me to take on a massive risk, when I have no understanding of the reward or the benefits you speak of.

>>18200156
I am nothing. Good night all. Thank you.

>>18200149
>Work has already taken my personality. I'm very boring now.
>The way I am now is the way I have always been ad always will be. Despite being a human, I can never change, because magic n shit.

>I know the outcomes for me
No. You don't. You may think you do, but if that's true, you're retarded. Do you have any idea how many types of people there are out there? I %100 guaretee you there are people who would gladly be with you, just as you are now, to say nothing of all the options that would open up if you actually starting spending your time in more interesting way.

>You're asking me to take on a massive risk
Not really. Worst comes to worst, you do what he asks, you fail again, and you go back to living your boring, grey life.

You know, before today I thought that social retardation wasn't a real thing that existed, but now I'm pretty sure it's real.

>>18200158
no no, we are getting you to socialize if its the last thing you do. You should love taking risks, its part of buisness, work. You have to take risks, try something and explore the uncharted area called your social life. That may sound mean, but do it. The best part of taking risks is that you don't know the outcome.

>>18200176
He's a weak, delusional little man. Let him die alone. He deserves it.

>>18199889
>Also being social is fun. Dating is fun.
I've tried for years and it really fucking isn't. Despite the fact I want friends and relationships socialising is gutwrenching stress.

oh.. my... God

You fucking faggot OP

How much money do you make?
Do you consider yourself to be handsome or ugly? Pic?
How do you even have a female friend and if you were really her friend you couldn't let her stay at your place a few nights?

>>18199732
27 >clearly too old to lose virginity/learn how to have a relationship gracefully.
Glad I didn't fall into the depressing state of mind that you have. I lost virginity/got first relationship after 30. I am happy where I'm at in life.
You don't have to seek a relationship but the way that you are living is not good. Stonewalling women who ask for a coffee or if you are single is not graceful, polite, or a healthy way to live.

>>18200199
I've been there anon, had a lot of the issues you're describing when I was in my teens and twenties. You should consider seeing a psychologist that specializes in social behavior. They can literally teach you how to have productive, happy social interactions. It really helped me out. Navigating that treacherous sea of social nonesense is difficult as fuck, and having a proper instructor can be a life saver.

>>18200209
I've seen psychologists and tried medication without success. The trouble is anxiety aside I really don't get joy out of socialising. I have to force myself to pretend to have all these emotions other people have. I can't connect with them. Today I've essentially reached the same state as OP, accepting that I'll die a khv without real friends.

>>18200220
I'm sorry but we cannot help you. Nothing convinces you. But when you are in your 70s, looking back on how you had no friends or loved ones in life just remember those few guys on 4chan who tried to change you for the better.

>>18200220
>I've seen psychologists
Have you seen psychologists that specialize in teaching social skills?

>>18200220
You fake it till you make it. My struggle with learning to interact with other people was a lot like my struggle with being overweight: for the first year or so, it was uncomfortable all the time, but with a lot of work and dedication, I made it work.

You say you've seen the psychologists, have tried for years, have tried meds, well have you tried being less of a bitch? There comes a point where you just have to fucking do it, and if you refuse to, that's on you.

>>18200244
>>18200236
>le be a maaannn meme

the classic refuge of projecting betas who can't give any actual advice

>>18200305
How am I using a "be a man" meme when I'm asking if he's seen a certain type of specialized psychologist? Did you even mean to click my post?

>>18199781
Moron. They asked him out. Girls just ignore and say otherwise to save face afterward.

>>18199872
Because you're not the only person involved. Have some fucking manners, faggot.

>>18199794

I'm a virgin myself. Your world doesn't exist, it's THE world.

Just say you're busy.

Wow, OP here. A lot of posts since I went to sleep.

Even if I wanted to try some of your ideas that was three opportunities over six years. It could be three years of never until another chance comes. (Hopefully you can see why I'm so ungraceful when they do come as a result).

I'm going to spend the weekend in bed. So no opportunity this weekend.

PROSTITUTE!

All over the world it's legal. Nevada its legal. Fuckin do it ya cuck. Don't lose it to the girl you love.

>>18201250
Look OP, I think that you don't need to do much. Don't actively pursue but if a girl that you get along with wants you, just go with the flow, if she was your friend in the first place, she'll understand if you tell her "It's been a while I haven't dated".
Because what you are doing to them is the same as what other girls did to you when you were younger, rejecting them in a shitty way. You are hurting people so you won't be hurt, and that's shitty man. So just accept and let her guide you, it will be great I assure you. But at the very least, if you still want your dull life, please reject them correctly :"sorry, I'm not interested in a relationship" "we're coworkers and that's bad" (even if this might give her hope if she quits but whatever)

>>18201289
Thanks but I'm not going to go with the flow as I don't know what the flow is. My flow is to ignore. I'm not going to subject myself to mocking and humiliation from being clueless at this stuff if I got into dating.

>>18199732
You really crushed all those event flags, uh?

>>18201897
Being in a relationship doesn't differ much from being friends. You are not socially retarded, otherwise you wouldn't have met those girls and they wouldn't have thrown themselves at you.
You already know how to act with girls, you're nowhere near a sperg, so what do you think you'd need more than that?
Also, mocking and humiliation? If I ask a girl out and she rejects me because she's afraid I'll mock her and humiliate her, I would feel insulted : a girl thinking this low about me. Like really dude, what kind of shit people were you hanging out with if you think they'll react that way?

>>18202041
Event flags?

been there OP. still there.

I used to also ignore girls that were into me, but as I got older I kind of calmed down on the whole thing and now if a girl initiates contact I just go with it casually and when we get together I start honestly telling them about myself and how I'm not into relationships, how I'm avoiding contact with people and all that. They don't think it's that weird and we remain friends

I'm 34 and I've learned how to deal with people and I can put on all the masks required to interact with normies, without having to get involved with them. this is what you're looking for, and it's very much possible. no one will pressure you into a relationship and you can still be casual friends with them.

TL;DR go with the flow and when things get personal just mention that you "can't into relationships"

>>18202168
Are you happy with your life choice?

>>18202373
Bump

>>18199732
>How do I deal with these occasional events without making a mess?

Stop ignoring people.

/thread

>>18202992
But then the dating paradigm is entered against my wishes.

>>18203011

No it isn't. It's called dealing with people like a mature adult - you can tell these people "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" and that will be the end of the conversation. If they persist, tell them it's your choice to be single.

But ignoring them makes them think a lot of different things about you while you're putting them on silent hold. Probably think you're a nice guy until you flat out don't respond to anything they do, then they start thinking you're an anti-social asshole. Or they think something is wrong with them and get apprehensive and nervous. You're rejecting them. You know how that feels. Let them down lightly instead of subjecting them to the silent treatment like you're a 10 year old.

Deal with the situations. Use your words. Stop being such a pussy.

>>18203035
I really don't understand why I should be responsible for responding when I get no upside from relationships.

>>18203098

>I don't understand why I should respond to a human being like they are a human being
>why can't I just ignore everyone who asks me questions?

So you think it's okay to treat girls like shit, because you were rejected a few times when you were young. Okay OP. Have fun being a dumbass the rest of your life.

>>18203108
I should be allowed to have an neutral position on this stuff.

>>18203165

You are taking the idea of a neutral position to "anyone who is ever interested in me should stop immediately before they even ask the question to save myself the trouble."

So they need to read your mind and respect your wishes that you do not vocalize. That's not a neutral position.

>>18203193
No. A neutral position on my part is not engaging in this world that provides me nothing.

>>18203203
>>18203203

Then become a hermit, or commit suicide. Your worldview is already that the world owes you something, yet provides you nothing, and likewise you provide nothing to the world besides your inherent arrogance and selfish need to be left alone by women specifically. Or be gay and shut up and suck some cock, I really don't care.

So pick your poison.

>>18203203
No it isn't. You're doing the same thing girls did to you when you were younger. Except you don't even give closure. You are on the same level as the pump and dump guy, good job OP.
You live in a society, you have to interact with people. The only way to escape it is to literally live in the woods alone. That way, you'll avoid everything that hurts your feelings.

>>18203230
Except the crushing loneliness but hey, you can't have everything in life, right OP?

>>18203228
My worldview isn't that the world owes me something, and everyone who's read my posts knows it.

I'm extracting myself from the equation. I don't want the upside and don't expect to deal with the downside.

>>18203230
If this is true then it isn't fair.

>>18203108
>Not giving girls attention is treating them like shit
Why are there so many ass blasted posters in this thread who think OP is obligated to do any of this? Are you all a bunch of women? I honestly can't understand the negativity in this thread just because OP is admittedly not good at social interaction with the opposite and would rather not participate in it whatsoever.

>You're gonna be alone man, you'll regret it!
Extrapolation much? Jesus Christ.

>>18203264
Thank you.

"OP is admittedly not good at social interaction with the opposite and would rather not participate in it whatsoever."

That's better than I've explained it.

>>18199732
god damn the fact that girls approach you means that you are good looking.

jesus such wasted potential you fucking aspie, how high is your inhibition, cant handle rejection lol grow some balls you fucking low testosterone beta pussy. Just lol at your life. might as well castrate yourself
legitamite autist

>>18203264
He's already their friends, it's not like he's an awkward sperg.
And we're not all saying "you HAVE TO get in a relationship with them" but being a normal human being is by rejecting them properly. The golden rule, don't do to people what you don't want them to do to you. At the very least a simple "nit interested" is better than ghosting.

>>18203286
I'm ugly but have a good job etc.

Yes - medically diagnosed low testosterone.

>>18203273
Then don't befriend girls if that's what you're scared of.
I just want to say that staying your whole life inside your comfort zone is just wasting your life because of an "a priori" your mind think it's the reality. But hey if you're happy with your life (and I mean really happy, not ehh) then good for you OP. Stay with men and you'll be alright.

>>18203302
I'm unhappy with my life.

Since moving out from my parents (9 years ago) I've spent almost every evening and weekend in bed (except perhaps 6 days). The rest of the time at work/education.

It's scary looking back in that way.

>>18203319
If you're unhappy, what do you think your life is missing? Company? Intimacy? Or is it a lack of drive? Another thing?

>>18203335
It's weird. At work I have great drive and am 'successful'.

In my personal life, I don't do anything. Like I just go to bed an delay there ain't the TV on etc. It's odd how I don't have passion for that.

When my friends used to occasionally invite me out, I'd resent it and often decline.

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>>18203289

He ignores anyone who says this because treating people with respect isn't what he's after. He wants all women in the world to leave him alone completely.

Well it isn't going to happen, so he's going to keep complaining until someone tells him what he wants to hear. That's the whole point of this thread, anyway, it's not for advice. It's just OP's personal echo chamber.

>>18203401
:(

>>18199732
OP, you sound familiar to my situation in the past. If you're watching any porn and masturbating (no matter how 'small'), then you should stop that. In the old days, men never had access to pornography and masturbation wasn't considered normal, your body has nocturnal emissions to regulate itself, so don't listen to the naysayers who are about to hate on this post because of their immense guilt-trip

Once you stop all this digital stimulation and artificial emissions, then you'll start to naturally deal with women and it'll click

There's plenty of resources online to help you deal with this if you decide to follow through. Seek and you will find

>>18203448
Not natural, and not done in the old days? Of course it was!

But I've gone long periods without porn and without masturbating (more than a month). Not because of a 'no fap' thing, I did this before that became a thing.

It didn't make a difference.

>>18199776
...it's not "cruel" (except in the mind of the easily butthurt), it's merely rude.
I routinely (and politely) brush off slags who are interested in me.
Practice makes perfect.

>>18203461
You're implying you're back into porn and masturbation. 'Long enough' isn't going to cut it. You need to rid of it completely.

>>18203561
I've read about this stuff. It won't change things.

Jesus Christ OP, you're actually trying to be more of a rude asshole who gives people the silent treatment just because the relationship talk is making you uncomfortable? It's not hard to explain that you're single and uninterested.

>waaah, why should I make the effort at all
Because being that much of a lazy ass is no way to live. You're not some hermit in a cave, you still have to interact with society on some level.

>>18199732
>she came up to me and said "I just wanted to have coffee" and she avoided me for the remainder of the time I lived there
You really did a number on that poor gal's feelings

My advice is either be upfront about how you feel or come to realize that the stakes for relationships are much lower than you think they are

>>18203907
If a guy acted butthurt like that he'd be called a pussy/creep and told to suck it up. OP isn't obligated to do shit. I guarantee that if OP was a girl he'd be getting much less shit for avoiding solicitations.

I'm on the same boat as OP, but I want to overcome the fear of rejection. Whenever I think about taking the risk of meeting someone, or simply small talk, a series of memories come through my mind of my past failures and rejections, so I just give up and sulk. How do I overcome this? Sounds like trauma. It got really bad when I was a teenager and I've been a loner ever since.

>>18203448
Bullshit. Go fuck yourself.

>>18199732
dude the vast majority of modern functional marriages started at the workplace.

people fuck people the met at work all the time.

people fuck people they went to college and high school with all the time.

that's just life. don't worry about it so much. you really think your boss is gonna fire you because you hooked up with a co-worker some time? Sounds like a shitty company.

I was going to say something mean but then I realized something. We are on the same boat. I've always avoided people. But where we are different is i'm no longer doing this TO MY SELF. That is what you are do, you are punishing yourself. Take a risk and fall in love. The worst that could happen is nothing happens or you have sex. But to answer your original question I think your doing a fine job by yourself.

>>18204062
I think that therapy would help you greatly (since contrarily to OP, you really want to change).
But if you want to work on it alone, you have to overcome your fears. Begin with baby steps, at first just try to ask a stranger for something. If you smoke, ask for a lighter, you can turn off your phone and ask someone for the time, and my favorite, ask people for directions. Once you'll get this, the road is pretty clear, practice until you make it.
However, you will get rejected at some point or another, but think about it, what's the worst that's gonna happen? You got rejected and so? Are you physically hurt? Are you going to die because of that? You have to keep repeating "I got rejected and so?"

>>18203401
I know, I'm >>18199859 and he made a thread months ago, when he was dealing with his coworker. It was the exact same mindset. I don't know why but I still try.
But still, if he's making those threads, it's because he knows that's no way to deal with people, and that he lacks something. I really hope for him he'll get past the denial stage.

>>18203361
Are you taking a treatment for your low T? Have you tried loner hobbies like hiking, biking, diving or whatever? Or that doesn't interests you?
Do you lift? If you don't I highly recommend you to do it, it will add a routine in your day, you'll win in every side of your life (even at work)

>>18203917
Girls being able to get away with being assholes isn't the point of the thread, it's about a sad man that's denying his social needs. He isn't happy despite being successful at his job which is his whole life. He isn't avoiding relationships because he doesn't want to (because if he were he'd just reject them like a proper human being), it's because he's scared. And suppressing your needs like a coward will only lead to misery.

>>18204091
False, the vast majority met on a dating website (or more recently app).

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You will need Christ OP.

When the world will inevitably crush around you, remember about the open mindedness towards theology.

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>>18199732
>>18204997
>When the world will inevitably crush around you, remember about the open mindedness towards theology.
You hear that OP?
You should become a muslim!
stone bitches all day, and beat your slaves, it's your God given right!
oh wait, that's also in the Bible, not just the Quran

But seriously, religion is not the answer
it's the reason the middle-east is so fucked up in the first place, religion can't even decide what it wants to be in the first place

OP you DO want a relationship, just not a romantic or sexual one

friendship is a type of relationship
now what do you actually expect a friendship to be like?
what do you consider a friendship to be?
Why do you even want friends?

>At the same time I can't wear a badge that says "don't engage me in anything to do with relationships".
Actually, yes you can.
There's no law against it.

I literally have a shirt that says
"No, I will not fix your computer"
And I will gladly point it out to someone who wants me to do tech support for free

>>18205283
>You should become a muslim!stone bitches all day, and beat your slaves, it's your God given right!
Come on, don't start that.
>implying beating your slave doesn't oblige you to free him
>implying stoning in the Qur'an is even used beside disbelievers threatening others

But whatever, if religion is the problem of the middle east, how come the ottoman caliphate was so prosper? The Abbasid one? But no, let's forget all the other factors with the smallest example the founding of Taliban by the CIA with the sole purpose of fucking with Russian, and let's say it's religion.

>>18199732
Honestly, a "go fuck yourself" would offend way less than just getting ignored.

>>18205448
No it wouldn't

>>18205579
Yes it would, limbo can be worst than hell. Ya'll need disclosure you in your life.

You know why you do this, right OP? You get perverse pleasure out of it.
I'm 24, fit, tall, and very well-off, and I do this kind of shit all the time because it wasn't so long ago that I wasn't fit or very well-off and was ignored.
Making girls feel bad is EXTREMELY satisfying, and pumping and dumping is so typical that that's all many of them want or at least expect. Making them feel stupid and unwanted is so much more worth it.

>>18205755
I really don't think that's the reason I do it. Although I'm resentful that I was never wanted when I was actively trying to get girls.

>>18205896
OP, can you answer my questions?

>>18206409
What are your questions?

>>18206471
Those : >>18204525

>>18206525

Are you taking a treatment for your low T?

No, not sure of the benefit to me.

Have you tried loner hobbies like hiking, biking, diving or whatever?

No, not motivated to.

Or that doesn't interests you?

Agreed.

Do you lift? If you don't I highly recommend you to do it, it will add a routine in your day, you'll win in every side of your life (even at work)

No, I'm not interested in lifting.


Sorry, quite dry answers to your questions.

>>18205436
>how come the ottoman caliphate was so prosper? The Abbasid one?
how come a culture that glorifies killing those with different beliefs, does so well killing other groups of people?

>But no, let's forget all the other factors with the smallest example the founding of Taliban by the CIA with the sole purpose of fucking with Russian, and let's say it's religion.
you can give a bunch of weaboos katanas and they won't start a fucking holy war, so why did it work with a group with religious beliefs that justify and exonerates killing non-believers? I guess we'll never know.

>>18206549
So basically, you have no motivation to do anything whatsoever.
My best advice would be
to take lifting as an extra for your work, something that will help you to be more efficient and more respected by your coworkers.
Take it as a way of taking care if yourself, like showering or having enough sleep at night.

>>18206584
But I don't need to (with respect). Why can't I just stay in bed.

>>18206549
Well time to trythings you have no interest in and seeif you like them. It's like green eggs and ham dude.

You have to leave your comfort zone if yourcomfortzome isvirginity if you wantto experience a woman.

It is as simple as that.

>>18206566
>a culture that glorifies killing those with different beliefs
That's where you're wrong, it doesn't. The only thing that's glorified is defending your home country, which is basically glorified in every culture.

>you can give a bunch of weaboos katanas and they won't start a fucking holy war
That's a bad metaphor. Give nationalists guns and enough ideological bullshit and yes, they fucking start a war.

>>18206594
Because you're unhappy. That's your problem, right?

Also, I could ask you, why do you shower? Why not stay in bed instead?

>>18206622
Lifting stuff won't make me happy. I've ready plenty of posts about it on here. I don't shower on days I don't go into work. I had two weeks off work and didn't shower for 16 days.

>>18206651
Wow dude, why do you even live? Because it's too much a hassle to die?
It seems like your real problem isn't relationship with girls, but something way deeper.

>>18206667
In all honesty if I could send a message to 16 year old me it would be to kill myself before I became so docile, now I don't have the spunk to do it.

There is nothing for me to live for. My last ten years has been pointless.

>>18206676
Holy shit dude
Do you remember when your apathy began? What was the turning point?

Rejecting chicks is always the way to go. They wouldn't want you if you didn't have the money and things you do now. And to hell with the chick that wanted to "get coffee", she's grown and will be alright. Keep doing you anon and good luck with your business.

>>18206698
I think when I moved away from home to go to university at 18 and felt more comfortable in bed on weekends/evenings. I never broke the habit and not 9 years have been wasted.

I remember at 19 or 20 thinking, I really should (and will) break this bed habit soon.

>>18206712
*now 9 years have been wasted

>>18206712
Well, then don't think why you'd do it but why you wouldn't. Just like you took the bad bed habit, you can remove it and replace it with a good habit. I suggested lifting because it will raise your T levels, and bring a good routine. But you can do anything, as long as "napping" isn't your first hobby.

>>18206724
I don't nap.

I think at this point I've completely ruined my life. For the next 30-60 years I will think every day about how I wasted the best time of my life, and didn't build a foundation of friends and social skills for the remainder.

>>18206743
Then change napping to "staying in bed" or whatever you keep doing during the weekends.

But listen mate, it's not over yet. You're not even in your thirties, the only thing that's between you and the world is simply your own self. You're giving the same excuse "I don't want to" but then you say you wish you had a foundation of friends and social skills. Well, if you don't work for them, of course you'll be a loner. You can change your current state, even if you don't want to.

>>18206756
I know I won't though. Also I'm not sure if I want to.

I wish I could flip a switch to end my existence. It would be much better if it was that easy and I assume that will be the case in the future.

>>18206799
You will. I know it's hard, and you probably won't do it today, or tomorrow. But one day, you'll remember this thread and you'll fucking wake up and get your ass doing something productive.

>>18206804
I don't know what to do to fix it. And if the answer is "lift" then I don't want to pursue the cure.

>>18206816
It doesn't have to be lifting, it could be running, taking a nap in a park, sleeping at the beach by night, anything that's far from your bed.
You just have to do it, that's how it works. You're laying in bed and suddenly you push yourself out of it. Just like waking up in the morning, you don't think, you just do.

Btw OP, are you depressed?

>>18206850
Yeah but that only happens for my job. I get out of bed. On a Saturday I don't.

I don't think I'm depressed, just completely numb.

>>18206873
Apathy and numbness are signs of depression, it's not always "omg, I'm so sad, let's make a tumblr post about it". Maybe see a shrink just to be sure it's not that.

But what's the difference between work and going out? What makes you go to work? Why aren't you leaving yourself die of starvation? What makes you eat or drink during the weekends?
I'm sorry if I'm asking too much questions, I'm trying to understand you

>>18206881
I'm not going to disclose this to a doctor, that would stay on my medical record for ever.

I think work/eating is survival, whereas going out is not truly necessary. Tbf I will often go a day without eating.

>>18206906
But your mental health is as important as your physical one. You have to take care of your brain, even if it's too much of a hassle.

Also, why would care about it being on your medical record? You're numb, you don't care. Then don't care about things like this too.

>>18206910
Because it's about survival again. This could prevent me getting jobs.

>>18206917
I.. I don't what to say. Whatever your real problem is, I hope you'll fix it. In a way or another. But I can't help anymore than that, I'm sorry. Best of luck OP, you'll make it someday.

>>18207049
No I won't. But thanks for the conversation.

You will it you truly wanted to.

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>>18199873
>>18199872
>>18199847
>>18199833
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>>18199979
i am not op but in a similar situation just not as mental. I always thought I needed to become more to attract women and failed at business then just became a neet for a good 4 years now and im same age as op

what do? i dont want to start believing the shit op is saying...
also how do i explain my gap in history/experiences for those years? i am not socially retarded by highly unskilled when it comes to conversations