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Anonymous
i almost have only hateful/negative thoughts 2017-04-07 05:03:00 Post No. 18198707
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i almost have only hateful/negative thoughts 2017-04-07 05:03:00 Post No. 18198707
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i almost have only hateful/negative thoughts
Anonymous
2017-04-07 05:03:00
Post No. 18198707
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Been thinking about writing here for some time now, and i feel like i should do it
tl;dr at the bottom, i feel like mostly spouting my thoughts now
For almost a year now, i can nearly only have negative thoughts, For example:
>wanting to kick people who slow me down when im walking
>wanting to trip people who are too focused on their phone
>wanting to smack phones out of people taking selfies
>wanting to slam brakes on the highway if someone tailgates me
>wanting to kill myself on many occasions, but only to annoy others
Im not suicidal or anything, and im not a ''bad'' person, at least i feel
I try to do good and just work at my lame office job (Temp contract expires next month)
That job has taken the motivation out of me(managers wanting to be managers, taking claim of your work as always), and i feel like thats part to blame
The thoughts usually come when im out of breath, which is very often (im severly allergic to dust, medicine dont work)
i just go insane in my head grasping for air which is blocked due to my allergy (basicly, my nose produces too much slime, clogging me up and the slime is so thick that i cant get it to move)
i never fought or hurt anyone in my life, im a real pussy to be honest
i follow the rules and do my boring taxes, rarely speed in traffic etc
The only thing i am is extremly blunt, which has hurt some people's feelings (jokes that cross boundries, critizing someone's work, etc)
>tl:dr
Everytime my allergy acts up (which is 10+ times a day) i feel agitated and can only think negatively
This has been going on or a long time and i feel like its getting to me
Is this wrong?, am i going insane?
>>
OP here,
i should add that in addition, i've lost interest in many of my hobbies and social activities
I used to game, mess with computers, visit friends and go out drinking
I dont feel like doing any of that anymore, i just sit in my room alone and watch tv till it's 23:00 and then go to bed
Even 4chan has lost most of my interest
>>
By being bluent, do people often perceive you negatively ?
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>>18199954
Usually yeah, im a pessimist by nature
Sometimes i can be positive with my bluntness, for example, when a friend buys new clothes
>thats way better then those old rags isnt it?
But again, thats rarely
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>>18198707
You're pretty tame and average, so you daydream about beaking the norms and rules. That's pretty normal behavior. I think correlating it with your alergies is a bit weird though. There might be some indirect reason why that triggers it more, but I wouldn't waste time thinking about that.
It just seems to me that you have some frustration in your life, but you're unable to express it in a healthy way, so you fantasize about letting it out in unhealthy ways.
It looks like your job is bothering you, because you sort of went off on a tangent about it. When it expires you might notice your mood improving.
Find something that you like doing, and also find something to take out your frustration in a healthy way. Physical activity of some sort is healthy.
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>>18201269
>I think correlating it with your alergies is a bit weird though
Grasping for air because my nose is clogged with snot it what kinda makes me panic from time to time, this is when im at my peak of hateful thoughts so to say
>It just seems to me that you have some frustration in your life, but you're unable to express it in a healthy way, so you fantasize about letting it out in unhealthy ways.
>Find something that you like doing, and also find something to take out your frustration in a healthy way. Physical activity of some sort is healthy.
im already on the lookout for another job that i'll like, do you have any ideas on how to fent frustration other then psychical?
i'll give the physical activity a shot, but the more the better
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