Who's telling the truth?

>>18198202
I'd think neither of them is telling the truth. Probably they felt some chemistry and they didn't stop themselves.

>>18198202
Relationships are about trusting your partner.

Your bf wouldnt be the first guy who cheated her gf and your sister wouldnt be the first girl who tried to destroy someones love by pure jealousy.

But if you are guy, you have this thing called logic. So how do you cheat as a guy? Simple, cheat and never tell about it to your girl. The calls are about him cheating you and 1 second later calling you? Sounds stupid to me.

On the other hand, you sis is typical illogical female. She envy you your bf and probanly tried to seduce him. But he refused and females cant stand rejection from guys. So she probably threatened him that if he wont sex her up, she will tell you. And as he is the man of action, he didnt waited and tried to contact you first.

But if you cant trust your bf in the first place, then what are you waisting time in relationship with him?

T. Guy.

>>18198202
>how the fuck can you tell who's telling the truth?
Where were they? Why were they alone together? Does either have physical proof on their phones, Facebook, etc.?

>>18198212

That would be the worst thing possible. As fucked up as this might be, I'd rather it be just one of them, so I could keep the other in my life. I know, I sound selfish and irrational as fuck, but I never had any cause whatsoever before to feel worried about my boyfriend being faithful or my sister trying to get in between us.

>>18198216

You're just one guy though and that's just one guy's take on the situation. I'll be taking what you said with a grain of salt.

>>18198217

Our place (boyfriend's and mine). He was there because it's his day off, and she came to pick up some stuff (photos).

According to my boyfriend, it just happened while they were looking over said photos (childhood/family shit), she started touching him a lot in a very obvious way and then just plopped one on him.

According to my sister, pretty much the same, except the other way around.

Boyfriend is angry as hell that my sister has done this to us.

Sister is remorseful that this happened in the first place, like she's to blame for him kissing her.

Both could be acting, for all I know, or just one of them.

>>18198229
Gather them both in one place and make them tell you the truth. You have perfectly good reasons not to mistrust any of them. They are your boyfriend and your sister after all. That is the only fair way and you can hope that the one (or two) of them aren't enough of an asshole to keep lying all the way through.

>>18198229
>I know, I sound selfish and irrational as fuck
You do, and it's probably because you're hurt.
Wait a little until you calm down, then tell them you have conflicting information about what happened, and make them understand clearly that the worst thing they could do to you is lie about what happened to paint themselves in a better light, and ask them to tell you what happened again.

Your bf called first. Could he have done it to fake that your sis jumped him? Yes, but I don't think so.

Let's say he did it. Your sis gets mad at him, while he try to make up some excuse or plea to her not to tell you. Sis gets phone and calls you before he can even react. She would have called you first if he did it, because whoever is the victim in the situation would have a much quicker reaction.

>>18198229
So she came over to your place while you were gone? She couldn't have waited or left immediately? I kind of get the feeling that she set this up to play on your insecurities and ruin your relationship, since it'd make sense for most people to side with family. But her being your sister, there's a bigger chance that you'd find out if he tried anything. So even if a guy were to cheat, it's unlikely he would be so forward with your own sister, unless he knew it was mutual.

>>18198234
>>18198235

I really wish I wasn't in this mess.

>>18198261

I don't know. Kind of silly to base it off of "Who called first gets to be the victim" premise, because you could argue that the innocent one would be in a state of shock, while the guilty party would try to get ahead of things and spin their own narrative.

>>18198266

>She couldn't have waited or left immediately?

It's nothing out of the ordinary, she came over a few times before when I wasn't there (without her knowing I wasn't there), my boyfriend kept her company and nothing happened out of the ordinary back then.

Of course, I could go full paranoid and start thinking this has been going on since the very first time she came over when I wasn't there and they're now breaking up and trying to make themselves look better in the process.

>>18198202
Can't give you any tips, I'm just here to say holy shit what a fucking disaster

>>18198274

I don't know if it's just because of my own family, but I'm inclined to believe your boyfriend. My aunt used to do stuff like that to my mom anytime she was with someone. She just couldn't stand that her sister was happy and successful.

>>18198274
Who the hell would be in a state of shock so debilitating as that? It's more likely that whoever was jumped would get pissed and immediatly reject the other, and the jumper would start apologizing while the jumped took action.

It's called occam's razor, the simpler explanation is the most likely one. Getting in a state of shock so hard that the other person would have time to call you without any reaction is kinda farfetched.

How long was the interval between the first caller and the second? Then you can have a better idea on how things played at the moment.

>>18198289
>Who the hell would be in a state of shock so debilitating as that? It's more likely that whoever was jumped would get pissed and immediatly reject the other, and the jumper would start apologizing while the jumped took action
This.

>>18198289

>How long was the interval between the first caller and the second?

Minutes. Sister also sent a message "We need to talk, please call, it's urgent" after her first missed call.

>>18198234
i'm seconding this. get them both together FIRST THING. before you talk to either of them separatly face to face. then ask them both to tell you what happened. observe CLOSELY and after they are both finished, don't immediately jump to conclusions. take some time to work trough the informations and observations and then make a decision.
how old are all of you?
i'm trying to figure out, what i would do in your situation (i also have a sister i'm very close to and a bf that i have a very good relationship with). i honestly couldn't cut them out...
what i would do is try to figure out WHY it happened. is there sexual tension between them in general or was it a really idiotic one time scenario? how do they usually interact? for example, my sister's husband and i can talk for hours, joke around and have a really good time. but there is zero sexual tension on either side. pretty much the same applies to my sister and my bf. i had NEVER even the slightest feeling of them having any attraction to each other. can you say the same about the two? (up untill now ofc...)

i would also try to pinpoint what you fear the most. your sister betraying you like that and trying to destroy your relationship or your bf cheating on you? make sure that fear wonmt interact with your judgement, which should be fact based.

is there ANY possible scenario where you feel you could forgive them both over time and with genuine remorse?

god damn, this is a really fucked up situation. i'm really sorry, op.

the only positive i can see is that they both immediately informed you instead of trying to hide it. that way it is easier to really work things out and find solutions instead of letting it fester in the dark.

They both kinda wanted to but they both regret it but they cannot accept blame, digits mean truth

>>18198302

Boyfriend and me are 24, sister is 21.

> is there sexual tension between them in general or was it a really idiotic one time scenario?

First time now and I can't say I ever noticed any sort of sexual tension.

>how do they usually interact?

Like my boyfriend usually does with any of my girl friends. He's not a flirty kind of guy and actually has a bit of a hindsight when it comes to receiving attention from any girl. I had to come up to his face and point blank ask him out because he sure as hell wasn't going to do it himself.

>i would also try to pinpoint what you fear the most

Honestly? My biggest fear is that they're both to blame, both wanted it, tried it out and saw it didn't work out well for whatever reason, so now they're playing the blame game.

>is there ANY possible scenario where you feel you could forgive them both over time and with genuine remorse?

Fuck no. I mean, it's easier to cut out my boyfriend from my life than it would be my sister, but just because she's my sister doesn't net her any kind of room for forgiveness. No, I wouldn't give a shit that it "just a kiss" or whatever.

>>18198310
>He's not a flirty kind of guy and actually has a bit of a hindsight when it comes to receiving attention from any girl. I had to come up to his face and point blank ask him out because he sure as hell wasn't going to do it himself.
Do you think this kind of person has the ability or the balls to come on to your sister?

>>18198300
So your bf called first, and your sister took minutes to do the same? When she probably was leaving already?

If your bf really was the wrong one, I have to commend him for his wits and fast reaction, guy is a mastermind for sure. Calling that fast after attempting cheating to acuse the other part is totally counter intuitive. With what you're telling us, it seems to be the other way around.

I know it must be tough to believe a sister could do that, but they totally could. My aunt stole money from my mother's company for years under her nose, for insance. We like to think our own blood wouldn't be capable of such horrors, but they totally are.

And I agree to other anons, get them face to face and see how they react. In a highly stressful situation, the lier will quickly break down or paint himself in a corner. That's kinda how interrogations work, you make the person tell the same story over and over again to create stress and try to make them trip over their own lies

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Why would the boyfriend call you if he actually fucked up?

>>18198314
This x9999

>>18198229

>He's not a flirty kind of guy
>has a bit of a hindsight when it comes to receiving attention
> he sure as hell wasn't going to do it himself.
So, either slow on the uptake or simply prefers to be the one pursued.

> I can't say I ever noticed any sort of sexual tension.

>Boyfriend is angry
>Sister is remorseful

Those pieces fit together a lot better around one story than the other.
But as has been said, make them tell you to your face and look them in the eye as they do it. You'll know who's lying, if they don't confess under scrutiny.

Well what type of personality is your sister,is she someone who would do such a things. you did grow up together so that can help you remember how she acts when she is guilty does she usually blame it on someone else or does she feel bad that it happened and confessess or how does she lie usually?

I don't think the one who called first holds any water cause the victim might be the over thinker type and want to think through what happened is she to blame how would this hurt you etc anger is not always the first reaction

But honestly maybe you should think this through even though you got cheated on sometimes these things happen but it's a mistake that can make people grow so if you do find the truth maybe consider sometime to handle your emotions but work with them to keep both relationships but maybe separatlyfrom now on I understand that maybe be hard but it happens and alot of people go through this and cutting people out only makes things worse for your mental state good luck

Kill them both

Insufficient evidence, both parties will play their own cards.

I don't think there's any reason to bring them together. Call timing is irrelevant, but it's interesting that they had the same idea.

I would trust nobody, and possibly set up some sort of surveillance of some sort. Check the browser history of the local PC around that time to get an idea of the mindset your boyfriend would have been in, but aside from that, there isn't much to take from this incidence. The best you could do is take comparative statements from both parties, and then ask them to recall the events again at a later date, and compare for accuracy. If one person's story differs greatly, then it's likely that it wasn't true.

Sorry to hear it. You always want to be able to trust important people in your life, but when it comes to a conflict between them... That's shitty.

>>18198229
>Boyfriend is angry as hell that my sister has done this to us.
His feelings check out with what he's saying happened. You'd be angry as fuck if someone - especially someone close to your boyfriend like a brother - did that to you and, more importantly, your boyfriend.
>Sister is remorseful that this happened in the first place, like she's to blame for him kissing her.
Her feelings check out with what she's saying didn't happen. Why would she regret him kissing her? She'd be pissed off, call him an asshole, and immediately rush to your defense. Instead she sounds guilty and remorseful for her own actions, but not willing or ready to confront the truth of what happened.

I'd say wait until you can talk to them in person like the others have said, but don't do it with both of them there. Do it separately so you can hear the subtleties in how their stories differ. Pay attention to any differences between what they told you now and what they tell you then too.

You said you won't forgive your sister if it's her, you're 24 and she's 21 though. She might legally be an adult but the part of our brain that is able to judge the consequences of our actions isn't fully developed until we're in our mid twenties. If you guys were all much younger, in your teens when this happened, would you forgive her? Haven't you ever done stupid things yourself that hurt her or those you cared about, even if they weren't the same kind of stupid?

You might have strained feelings for a long time or minimal contact, but I'd suggest considering whether you really wouldn't ever forgive her if it was her, she's been a part of your life for two decades.