> be me > 19, mentally ill piece of shit > cant get

ugh... i remember my pro-ana phase. that shit wasn't healthy.

anyways, seek therapy and find ways to occupy yourself that aren't food and looks.

but damn i remember how wonderfull it feels to have an empty stomach for days and see the scale go down.

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>>18194807

>>18194812
but everybody cares about your tfnogf posts, right?

>>18194810
thanks, im glad someone gets it. I don't think I'm really ready for recovery- I'm stuck in kind of a weird phase. I'm not 'pro' ana, I would never encourage anyone to do this shit to themselves, but I want to just kind of wallow in my ED until I die.

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>>18194821
heh. right. i wouldn't have wanted to stop then either. i mean, the alternative is being fat and feeling like a slob. it's just not a good trade.
but you'll grow out of it eventually.
you don't sound like you're as deep in as pic related.

>>18194828
i wish, though.

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>>18194828
In what alternative universe is this attractive to a male anything? Looks like a teenage boy with really low test.

Start eating in calorie surplus and squat. You'll suddenly faceroll 95% of women.

Get fit for me, please. I want to fuck and domiante you. But you need some actual meat first.

I know you can do it.

>>18194849

> implying my eating disorder exists for the sole purpose of looking good for some random fucker online

>>18194857

>Implying your standards weren't built out of a misunderstanding of peer pressure
>implying you're not doing this out of an animalistic need to fit into the model you were conditioned to believe is attractive
>implying you're not a fucking retard for not seeking mental help right the fuck now instead of looking for yes-men on the internet

Here's your fucking advice, OP : You are fucked in the head, literally broken and if you don't work on recovering you are not going out of this "phase" anytime soon.

Either kill yourself or don't, but if you ask for advice on an advice board, fucking take it and don't try to give lip, or fuck off.

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>>18194857

>>18194849
>>18194868
>>18194870
These niggas knows what's up. Now that's an ass.

Just eat and lift. Don't be a cock sucking faggot OP. The wind could probably rape you at this point.

>>18194868

my ED actually stems from being starved as a child, but thanks for making assumptions!

i tried recovery, it didnt work for me. they made me fat and ignored the reason i was starving myself in the first place. i have the same sick anorexic mind and a fat body. im stuck between starving and killing myself but the bridges around here all have suicide barriers and i cant afford a gun

>>18194881
You literally just need a bf. Follow these
>>18194868
>>18194849

>>18194888

have a bf (and a gf, we're poly) already

>>18194881
Excuse us for not taking a pro-ana drone seriously when they say something made them "fat". How fat did you get ? Weight, height, bmi ?

And what do you mean when you said you tried recovery ? What did you try, when, for how long ? Give specifics. You sound like you're going through your usual excuses and you don't sound particularly interested in recovering.

>killing myself but the bridges around here all have suicide barriers and i cant afford a gun

Oh fuck off with that shit, if you genuinely wanted to kill yourself you'd have found a way by now

Stop navel-gazing about how miserable you are and try to be proactive about this, it's hard because the chemicals in your brain that make you retarded also make you unmotivated and depressed, and you'll usually either feel tired at everything or find reasons to bitch at everything, but if you can't raise above that then what's even the point of asking for advice

>>18194890

So how hard are they validating your poor life choices and perpetuating your cycle of misery ?

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>>18194894
kek

>>18194896
How the fuck is that even possible? Oh my god my dick oh my god

>>18194892
5'6
started at 164lb, got down to 107
outpatient treatment for 3 months because inpatient was too expensive
went back up to 140 pounds during treatment, was discharged even though i knew the underlying problems were still there
back to restricting and purging and all that fun shit.
sometimes i really, really want to but then the 'how' gets me. I'll spend hours trying to think of a perfect suicide plan that wouldn't completely fuck over my girlfriend (we live together) or leave me a vegetable if i failed.

mostly looking for friends desu
or anyone thats also dealing with an eating disorder
i just feel very stuck right now and want to talk to people that are going through the same thing

>>18194894
they're just glad im not at an underweight BMI yet. I promised them I'd stop at 111 pounds this time (long story, numbers fixation) but I'm not sure if I'll be able to.

im an adult so they cant really do much. maybe make an appeal to court to get me sectioned if im considered a danger to myself but i dont see that happening any time soon.

>>18194896
Literally rubbing dick at computer screen. What the fuck is that thing.

>>18194896
>scandinavian
>thicc
>it reads too
My god.

>>18194896
That motherfucker is glazed like a rotisserie chicken. One thigh pls.

Yeah, and OP, >>>/fit/

Get juicy.

>>18194890
>bi
>poly
Just find a real man already and grow the fuck up, you're >>>19<<< years old.

You can do it.

>>18194929

got that sugar daddy cash + nice dick from bf though

>>18194933
That's why they said you should find a real fucking man. Someone who gives 2 shits about you.

Are you a fucking attention seeking whore at this point in your life.

>>18194938

i mean i do cam for a living so

yes? maybe ish? it pays my bills though.

>>18194933
Prostitute.

>>18194942
camgirl but close ig

>>18194938

>19 years old dysfunctional girl makes a thread looking for "friends
>"are you a fucking attention seeking whore ?"

how do you even need to ask that question

>>18194943
What kind of closet homo would want to watch this >>18194807

>>18194944
actually laughed out loud ty

Post pic of your body, you fucking whore

>>18194946
learn how to read

explicitly said pic isnt me in the first post

nice try

>>18194953

well sure since you asked so politely


/s

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>>18194956
>>18194957

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>>18194957
Do it now.

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>>18194961

>>18194970
How come they get to fuck your women while you folks live in trailer parks and live off of food stamps?

>>18194979

we dont have trailer parks or food stamps in my country

>>18194980
Where do you live?

>>18194979
White men are the most successful with girls of any race, including white girls.

>>18194980
While you stave to death in the middle of the woods then.

>>18194979
Because they have superior dicks. 7x6 minimum.

>>18194984

>starving in the woods

nature provides my dude

>>18194983
Source? Do you often get laid :)

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>>18194983

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>>18194962

pic from lw

>>18194993
Kek

Fucking eat & lift already. You look like my dyel younger brother.

>>18194993
That guy getting ripped off.

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>>18194993
Here is the thing. It looks like you have tits, so I estimate you to at least be an 8/10 if you began to eat & squat and de-whore yourself.

>>18195005

natural 32DDD

obv they get bigger when im fatter and a bit smaller when im starving though

>>18195005
She can't de-whore herself.

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>>18194993
You're really a piece of shit for wanting to be even skinnier. What the fuck, gain some size already, there is nothing to fuck. I don't want a corpse.

Jimmies are rustled.

>>18195009

i dont see anything wrong with what i do to be honest

someone bought me a PS4 and a fucking machine today so id say my camming isnt half bad. can deliver timestamp pics with them after gf gets out of bed

>>18195012
i dont really care about there being something to fuck (although i should because if im not seen as fuckable i wont make as much money and might not be able to pay my rent oops)

losing weight > anything and everything else at this point.

>>18194993
Would date if 30lbs /fit/er & some form of dignity.

>>18195013
You're a prostitute.
I don't think there's anything bad with it or that you should die in a car crash, but it means that anyone can have you just by paying for it which makes you mildly uninteresting in as a potential partner.

>>18195016
>losing weight > anything and everything else at this point.
Trying to look like a 12 yr old boy or what?

>>18195019
>mildly

>>18195019

I'm actually not a prostitute lmao

i get naked on the internet for money theres a pretty big difference between spreading my foof on video for cash and actually having strangers crusty-ass dicks in me

>>18195021

trying to die, i guess? trying to look like something I know that I realistically probably can't achieve

>>18195024
Whatever makes you sleep at night. Say hi to sugar D from me.

>>18194807
Take your psychology out of the equation. Get MyFitnessPal, set your calorie goal to 1800, and meet it every day. This is the exact same advice I would give a fat person.

>>18195012
Holy shit is that really you Chris? Are you still browsing /fit/?

>>18194807
why would you want to make yourself look disgusting to everyone else? Even if you look attractive to yourself and other crazies you must know most people are revolted by this shit.

>>18194993
Why do you want to look like a little boy?

>>18195024
There is no big difference.
Prostitution is the business or practice of engaging in sexual activity in exchange for payment. Which is basically want you do.

Just because you don't directly suck on their cock doesn't mean you're not selling your body for easy money.

>>18195027

its actually a pretty interesting story (not that anyone cares but its 6am and i have nothing better to do and its a cute story)

so we met on reddit because i was selling nudes, he was a pretty cool customer and bought lots of pairs of my panties, videos of me getting off, etc

one night i got drunk and told him that i actually had feelings for him and he was like 'well obviously i like you it would just be weird if i said it because im paying you' se we went from a sugar thing to an actually-dating thing

he still gives me 'gifts' sometimes but i care about him and would still date him even if he didnt give me stuff. i think its mostly because he knows im poor af, barely paying rent because i want to buy food to vomit, etc

>>18195034

i mean if you really want to have a weird literal definition of it, i guess??

im just basking in the fact that i get paid to masturbate all day and play video games its not that deep my dude

does that make a stripper or porn star the same as prostitutes though? they're engaging in sexual acts, just not directly with people.

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>>18195035
Where the fuck do you live? I live in Norway, make six figures, I'll fucking save you. No relationship, just save you from being an emotional cum dumpster.

>>18195031
i dont give a shit what other people think i look like as long as it doesnt get in the way of me paying rent

obv if i get to the skinny-dying point where i have 4 IVs in me just to survive people arent going to pay to see me naked and something is going to have to change

until then though im just kind of pushing the envelope seeing how thin i can get before people notice/are concerned/stop paying me because they're grossed out by me being 'too skinny'

lets be real though that last one wont happen for a long while bc im a fatass and i have a ton of weight to lose

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>>18195030
Why shouldn't he? He's got decent arms desu. Wouldn't want to get a handy off him.

This whole thread is fucking disgusting.

>>18195012 You are fine though xo

>>18195039
portland

grew up in texas, moved to portland for the sugar dude (living seperately bc he has a wife and kid but it was cool to not be across the country from each other)
also my abuser was stalking me so i needed to get out somehow, figured portland was a neat place to escape to

>>18195034
>There is no big difference.
>Prostitution is the business or practice of engaging in physical activity in exchange for payment. Which is basically want you do.
>Just because you don't directly suck on their cock doesn't mean you're not selling your body for easy money.
Imagine you just said that to a construction worker. Hurr Durr I hit nails with a hammer all day, I'm in such a great position to judge camwhores for selling their image.

Unless you're paying their rent, nobody's got any right to tell anybody else how to make a living.

You folks gonna keep roleplaying with OP or what

>>18195046
was thinking along the same lines of 'everyone sells their body somehow, thats literally what capitalism is' but wasnt sure how to phrase it ty

>>18195048
can timestamp proof with PS4 and fucking machine in an hour or so when gf is up

>>18195048
Nah, I have to go to work.

US really is third world.

>>18195057
Wrong thread champ.

>>18195064
No.

>>18195046
First, there's a difference - a construction worker is selling their skills and their ability to build houses or hit nails. Not their body. A sex worker is selling their body.

I'm not telling them how to make a living.
I just think it makes you a highly undesirable partner - you don't have any sense of self worth, you don't value sex, you're literally there to be sold to the one who pays you better, you don't have dignity.

Then, if she wants to whore out herself for rent, I don't give a fuck.

>>18195068

can you point out the part where i ASKED for you opinion though? i dont care how valuable as a partner I am to you. thats not a measure of my worth. why would i give a fuck about internet strangers' opinions when i have people literally paying to talk to me

>>18195073
I'm sorry, I thought you were posting about your life in a forum on the internet where people are supposed to give you their opinion and their personal advice on your situation.

>>18195076

you insisting that im a prostitute is so relevant and helpful to my eating disorder. thanks.

>>18195076
Her value as a partner isn't what the thread is about. You're just here shaming because you're tremendously insecure about your own life and making other people feel bad makes you feel better.

>>18195080
Ask some of the "strangers who pay to talk to you" to give you money so you can pay someone to listen to you and actually go to therapy.

If you want to stop being called a prostitute, also, you could get a real job and stop whoring yourself.

>>18195084

tried therapy (as mentioned earlier in the thread, 3 months outpatient treatment) and all that got me was fat.

>>18195083
It isn't really shaming when you call someone a whore if they're actually a whore.

I'm here because I'm tremendously bored, not feeling much insecure.

>>18195091
Fat? Do you have pics of that period of time or it's your anorexic distorted view who says so?

>>18195083

I mean it's pretty relevant if every time we discover something else about her it's about her being promiscuous and making poor life choices across the board.

Clearly anorexia is only part of the issue.

But what the fuck ever, this thread is a travesty and isn't an advice thread at all, OP has been responding to every single fucking post because she just wanted attention, she got it, and she doesn't care about anything else. Don't even pretend you're doing anything to give advice to her LOL

>>18194807
oh my god that body is fucking disgusting

go to therapy. they deal with eating disorders.

>>18195048
Kek

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>>18195103

pic at 140lbs, 25% body fat

>>18195109
i literally said in the first post that pic isnt me lmao

i fucking wish my legs looked like that

>>18194901
you sound utterly pathetic

>>18195116
but that's your goal body, and it's objectively disgusting.

Go to therapy.

>>18195121

youre not incorrect

>>18195114
Why wont you squat? Why do you want to remain mediocre?

Someone please be my friend

My kik is RedMatzoo

>>18195125

already said multiple times, tried as much therapy as my insurance/wallet/sanity could stand. didn't do shit except make me fat. same old anorexic mindset in a fatass flesh vessel.

>>18195128

no access to a gym. id like to work out/lift but wouldn't have any idea where to start.

ive been told my squat form is terrible but nobody ever gives me advice on how to actually fix it

>>18195132
3 months of therapy is nothing. It takes around a year for it to actually work.

So when can I expect to see you in a blacked movie?

>>18194807
EAT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE

Usually, this kind of thing stems emotional distress forcing imagined standards that you feel like you're a failure for not meeting. The fact that you're seeking help means you know it's not right. Combined with your self-deprecating phrasing, I'd assume some kind of emotional abuse is in play, as it's one of the most common causes for anorexia as well.
What you have to understand is that, in a lot of ways, anorexia is more of a symptom than the root problem. At some point your esteem broke and you've found a functional substitute in self-imposed qualitative, observable marks of "success." You can train your mind to release endorphins in all sorts of situations, and "looking good," comes pre-packaged; it's an easy pit to fall into. It can sound very simplistic or pedantic when broken down to it's roots, but really, most of the time a number of psychological and sociological disabilities can be traced back to internalized emotional issues. There is no gene in the human body that tells us "skinny is good," but society has taught us as such. In 2017 it's must less of an accepted "fact" but the normalized standard remains. Note that anorexia is extensively more common in women than men for this very reason: it's a psychological reaction to sociological distress.

#1 Don't refer to yourself as a piece of shit ever again.
#2 Get professional psychiatric help. Avoid pill pushers and look for someone willing to meet frequently and ask hard questions
#3 Throw away/delete/unfriend anything and anyone that supports the behavior; including your scales and large/body mirrors. Keep one for your face, but make sure it's mounted on the wall at a height where you can't see much below your chest.
#4 Educate yourself on actual dietary health. The better you understand how your body works and what it needs to actually be healthy, the more "right" eating is going to feel. It'll being to feel like the thing you're supposed to be doing.
#5 Try new foods.
#6 Try new hobbies.

>>18195137
Don't you have friends that works out? Anyone who could help you fix the way you squat? If you can't, search on YouTube and use a mirror to check your posture. Ask your gf to check that your back is straight and correct you if you're doing it wrong.
I
mean look at yourself, even at 140 you're still on the chubby side, your body has so much potential, it's a shame you're wasting it.

>>18195012
Let me spot you in the gym, senpai. Afterwards rest your cock on my face and let me blow you before you shower. Then let me cage your cock and peg you once you're squeaky clean.

Wow, I meant "Nice physique."* stupid auto correct!