When does cocaine use, or any drug for that matter, turn into

when you have to ask questions like this, is an indicator that you already see it to be a potential problem

>>18193910
I think short term you may be able to keep it under control but it's only a matter of time before you spiral out of control and keep making excuses to get high one more time. I usually indulge 1-2 times a year when on vacation or celebration

>>18193952
This

It's a true addiction when it begins to interfere with facets of your life you don't want it to, such as your career, friendships, or family.

Sounds like you already seem like you like it a little too much though. Cut back or quit for sure.

>>18193952
Yeah, I admit that it is. But doesn't self awareness go a long way in this? I mean, it's not like I'm snorting an eight ball in the span of a couple days. It's just a little thing to just pick me up and push me to my goals. But at the same time I'm wary about the consequences, if that makes any sense. I over think these things.

>>18193971
>But doesn't self awareness go a long way in this?

I've had problems with alcohol and anxiety and if I've learned anything it's that self knowledge is a lot less helpful than people suppose it is.

>>18193910
I know this but with regards to alcohol
It's like "I'm not addicting, I just want to do it all the time."
But we are addicted
The desire to do it is that addiction
We've rationalized it away from a biological need to an emotional one
We FEEL like we want to do it all the time. We CHOOSE to do it
But really, it's our bodies making that choice for us

Anyways, what are you writing fag

>>18193967
That makes sense. I'm just really scared, again, about the consequences. I saw what it did to my brother and how it ruined his life for several years of his life. He got kicked out of the house - I was too young to understand what was actually going on at the time - but it was because I found his half gram of cocaine in a cut out within a book. He was hiding it on the shelf near the mud room and I was just messing around, bored and found it in a really old looking book. Dad found out and kicked it out. So I feel really responsible.

Anyway, a little bit of why I'm just really scared of what'll happen. I mean, I live on my own so it's not like I'm afraid of my parents finding out, but I'd just feel so ashamed if word spread and they knew I was dabbling in it, like my brother.

I'm really success driven and, even though I come from a lower class family, in a really small town, and I was in foster care, then eventually, adopted, have FASD (according to the pediatrician when I was born), I was able to go to university and squeak by and finish a B.A. I'm working full time helping an NGO with a really bad poverty-stricken community. I don't know, guys. It just really makes me sad seeing it and knowing that what I do won't make much of a difference in the short term.

And then I have all this pent up sadness about my recent past relationship with my now-ex girlfriend and how fucked up it all was - part of the reason why I moved back and decided to just come home to family. I guess, part of me at least, wanted to try it just for fun, but now it's a way to make myself feel better - which is why I'm only using it to achieve my goals and further me in life.

And holy, sorry if this is a stream of consciousness and. Just trying to give you guys a picture of what's going on right now - and if it's even remotely close to an addiction. I really worry and I just don't want to go too far south without being able to come back, you know?

>>18193999
Don't worry about it anon, it's good to vent, even if it's on a Japanese manga image board

Sounds to me like you're pressured by your family and anxious about your ex. How strict were your parents? Details about your ex?

>>18193995
I always read that once someone is addicted to something there will always be that pull in their life, is this true? I mean, it doesn't feel like a pull - it's just more of a "oh, I have nothing to do tonight, I would just sit around watching Netflix, but I could do a line and write a bit or maybe work on my website or finish my report early for tomorrow's meeting." I don't know, is that bad?

And to be honest, I'd probably not give enough of a fuck to make a thread, let alone even talk about this sort of thing, unless I was high on this stuff. Spoiler: I'm kind of high on this stuff.

But yeah, anyway, I'm using my poli sci degree knowledge and writing about how mainstream media is basically stupid and everyone just needs to stop politicizing everything in our modern lives. (Please don't steal my idea.)

File: 7da218dde9515e7e165b15d3df1d8ed8.png (143KB, 256x338px) Image search: [Google]

143KB, 256x338px

Who is an Addict
casandiego org/who.php

>>18194019
>"oh, I have nothing to do tonight, I would just sit around watching Netflix, but I could do a line and write a bit or maybe work on my website or finish my report early for tomorrow's meeting."
That's literally how I feel about alcohol
Why be bored while sober? Better be bored while drunk

But the thing is, that's just rationalization
People have been bored sober for millenia

We get drunk/high because we want to get drunk/high
We're rationalizing our addiction

Also your topic is shit. Everything is political

>>18194026
OK, so I am addicted then? I mean, I don't really feel like it. I don't feel like I just woke up and think, Yep I'm addicted, this is me now. It doesn't feel like it. And besides what do I even do if I were to admit it?

Also, lol I know everything is political, but the book is going to argue that the political left/neoliberals today are actually stifling good political discourse and is in fact counter productive to what they want, all because of mainstream media

>>18193910
ya like said prvsly it's only a matter of time. there is no real absolute line, everything is on a continuum... i was successful for a couple years on heroin every day but it did eventually catch up and drag me lower than I ever would have imagined going... It was like the frog sitting in the pan slowly heating up on the stove and never really noticing until it started to smell itself being cooked. Self awareness could not save me, I would lose perspective, and this has always been my experience with drugs. more drugs lead to poorer judgement and a slight expansion of what is acceptable behavior, and the cycle repeats until some type of wake up call. Some people are not fortunate enough to even have that opportunity... So anyways I would encourage you to find other ways to get what you like about the high

>>18194041
If you don't think you're addicted, don't do your routine for a month
That's easy, right?
It's just a month

But then a week in you'll think "Jesus fucking Christ, something save me from this boredom"
And you'll go back
That's addiction
Even if you rationalize it behind emotional desire instead of bodily

I've stopped caring about that. So I'm addicted to alcohol
At least it keeps me entertained


Also no duh the left tries to stifle opposition
That's what every side does. The goal of any argument is to stuff the otherside. If you control the means of discussion, locking out the opposition isn't wrong. It's being smart.
Saying they're wrong about doing it is assuming that they were neutral and trying to be unbiased, but aren't you presupposing that they're leftist?

>>18193910
>I justify it since I'm using it to be productive.
Pretty much how I justify smoking. "Hey, breaks are good for creativity! Let's light a cig." then it turns into "Well, I did good, let's light another one!" and the classical "I am bored, time for one more" and then half a pack is gone.

> Is is possible to be successful while also occasionally using
That's not common but also often ends with a crash and rehab sooner or later.

>>18194055
>>18194065
OK, the general consensus seems to be that I'm already at that point of addiction or I'm already there. Either way, I'm just going to cut this shit off and go to counseling and ask for advice. Is it easy enough to do this without rehabilitation? I don't want that since this is a small town and word might spread about that.

I mean, I want to do this and cut it off before it becomes a real issue - I wouldn't say I'm at rock bottom. Does that matter? Most people say that you can only stop when you hit rock bottom, and have that wake up call as one anon said, but is that really needed?

>>18194088
>Most people say that you can only stop when you hit rock bottom, and have that wake up call
If it gets so far, it's often too late for most. Also it does sound like another shitty rationalization. "Hey, I didn't hit the rock bottom yet, clearly things aren't too bad and I can keep going."

You sound intelligent and self aware enough to stop before it needs to be so extreme.

>If you don't think you're addicted, don't do your routine for a month
I'd try that before any counseling. If you fail, it's time to get professional help.

Holy shit OP you will give yourself a heart attack half way through writing your book. Switch to amphetamines. They are way better for being productive, a hell of a lot cheaper, longer lasting, not as bad for your heart, and you can dose orally.

>>18193910

Can I just jump on this thread pls.

I used to enjoy doing coke about once a month, then got a bit tired of always worrying about the next line and panicking about having a heart attack. The older I get, the more I worry about the latter. It's also expensive for anything close to decent.

Weed has never appealed to me - I smoked a bit when I was younger and stopped because it bored me.

I've done MDMA a few times and really enjoyed it. I understand the limitations of this and that in order to have a great high, you need to take a good break between rolls. It actually helps me to feel relaxed and I love how sensitive I am to everything when I'm on it.

So what else can I try? I think LSD or shrooms may be a tad too much for me as I hate the idea of not feeling in control of what I'm experiencing. I don't have an addictive personality in the slightest and I can afford pretty much anything.

Just looking for ideas here. I know I could just grow the fuck up and not do drugs, but I'm almost 30 and a bit bored of life in general.

>>18195571
LSD and shrooms are still great on low doses. Highly recommended especially with friends.

>>18195571

Would you recommend shrooms first and LSD later if I enjoy the? Or are they completely different?

>>18193910
It's a slippery slope. I personally haven't met any successful people that use (aside from marijuana, but that number is limited)
Personally, I know quite a few addicts. One is my brother. He started drinking, just for fun, when he was young. Slowly he started becoming the shit faced person everyone had to take care of, not being fun with everyone else's social drinking. That spiraled into losing his friends. He then found dirtbag friends who got just as hammered as he did. Led to more dirtbag friends who introduced him to meth. Brother's been heavily addicted to both meth and alcohol for about 3 years now. Stealing from family. Hanging out with local gypsies.

Thing is, brother still works for the most part. In and out of warehouse jobs. Bouncing from agency to agency. His money is blown the moment he gets it.


I have a few friends as well who started using coke a few years ago. They kinda first had this long period of feeling great, like coke improved them. Now they are just obsessed with coke. Do it in bathrooms when we just go out for a drink. We don't like to hang out with them anymore because we don't want to fuck with them on that level. Then they get into opiates to balance themselves out after doing too much coke. It turned disgusting real quick.

>>18195603
Whatever you get your hands on. LSD is harder to come by as people sell RCs as "LSD" all the time. I enjoyed the RCs but they are way more visual than LSD. Shrooms though are obviously Shrooms. Low doses of LSD and shrooms are pretty similar though I feel more euphoria with LSD. YMMV.

>>18195615

Cheers for the advice, bud.

Ever tried ketamine?

>>18193910
if you have money to burn, yes it is a meme coz you can always go into rehab and fix yourself(if you have the motivation to).
drug addictions are only death sentences for middle class/poor people who need to work to live

>>18195625
Nah I've done many things but never knew anyone who messed with that. I never go looking for the stuff, mostly opportunities arrise and I'll get some of whatever for the event. I'm in school right know so I just smoke occasionally, I do have some kratom as well. Nice stuff.