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Anonymous
disappointing my parents by not marrying 2017-04-05 02:34:21 Post No. 18191293
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disappointing my parents by not marrying 2017-04-05 02:34:21 Post No. 18191293
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How do I make peace with the fact that my parents are going to die not knowing any children from me?
For various reasons, I'm not getting married, i don't want children and I don't want to be involved with any woman long-term.
But I'm lucky to have parents who were good to me. I'm conflicted in that I'm really averse to having a family and I'd definitely treat my would-be-wife like shit/ ignore her completely, but my mum and das made a lot of sacrifices to give me love and a good life and I feel that I'd be turning my back on them if I decided to /bachelor for my whole life.
My parents haven't put any pressure on me finding a woman and always tell me "do what you want we just want you to be successful" but I have a gut feeling that they secretly want me to continue the family name and give them grandkids. I'll feel guilty if the day comes where my dad lays on his deathbed and wonders if his legacy will live on.
I flirt with the idea of finding a girl to settle down with and have children solely to make my parents happy but the kids would probably resent me and the wife would cheat on me if I didn't first anyways so I don't want to have a dysfunctional family
What do
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>>18191293
Feel you on this, parents want me to have bunch of kids for them and find myself a husband but enjoy being alone too much to want to, but I decided that being upfront and just telling them how you feel is best. Why would you want to make yourself, your children and your wife suffer being in something that clearly isn't for you? It's awful and I empathize on this but in the end you should do what is best for your life, not there's. Even if it may hurt them.
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>>18191293
Your purpose is to have kids. It is easier to do so when you are attractive young man than when you are old balding fat guy.
Stop overthinking problems and start with finding girl with good life values you are compatible with.
>I don't want to have dysfunctional family
Then be good father / husband and treat your wife with respect and expect nothing less than that in return. With a bit of luck and skill it is not that hard. Never take your partner for granted.
>>>/online dating/
>>>/social events you hate/
>>>/friend's friends who know qties/
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>>18191327
Their's*, lord
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>>18191328
How do I be a good husband when my wife gets bored and ends up getting diddled by her boss/coworker/Chad/Jamal/Abdul/Mr. "It just happened"/Mr."I need space"/her dog?
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>>18191341
Pre-nup
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>>18191341
You are asking me (nice guy always optimistic) abour possible future scenario when you picked wrong girl or treated her so badly she cheated on you.
How do you know that one of your friends wont backstab you? How do you know that 4chan isnt full of jews shills?
Sometimes you have to trust other people around you or literally die alone.
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>>18191328
Yup, what use are you to the world when you won't raise a healthy family and love your wife and children?
Are you a sociopath by any chance? Because you talk about mistreating people as if it is not your own responsibility.
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>>18191354
The second part needed >>18191293 .
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>>18191353
>Sometimes you have to trust other people around you or literally die alone.
This seems fine
>>18191354
>are you a sociopath?
Maybe. I've fucked enough married/taken women, eavesdropped on enough conversations, been betrayed by too many friends, had degenerate groupsex episodes, had good church going girls eat my butthole and tell me all their fucked up fantasies that I literally will not entrust any substantial amount of capital be it social personal or financial to ANYONE, male or female.
When I'm pushing 40 I might just adopt some little shit just so my parents won't be sad because the alternative is fucked
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>>18191371
Man that must sucks when you make /adv/ thread just to confirm your own bias and majority is against you.
Pro tip:
Tell your parents that it is their own fault for having only one kid. If they had more, chance of at least one being normal willing to procreate would be higher.
Also it is impossible to adopt kids as single male unless it is some disabled little nigger.
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>>18191371
>Maybe. I've fucked enough married/taken women, eavesdropped on enough conversations, been betrayed by too many friends, had degenerate groupsex episodes, had good church going girls eat my butthole and tell me all their fucked up fantasies that I literally will not entrust any substantial amount of capital be it social personal or financial to ANYONE, male or female.
Sounds like your parents have plenty to be disappointed about besides you not carrying on their legacy. Anyway, >>18191390 has a point. They shouldn't have put all their eggs in one basket.
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>>18191293
people come here and ask
>How do I accept W?
>how do i make peace with X?
>how do i get over y?
>how do i become okay with Z?
these questions ARE the answer. getting over something, making peace with something, becoming okay with something, accepting something, are not the same as solving something or fixing something. it simply means accepting that it is the way it is and you can't change it. it means living life with this as is.
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>>18191468
link this answer to 20 other thread too please
>>18191293
an option would be to read up on stoicism and see if you like it
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>>18191460
>Sounds like your parents have plenty to be disappointed about besides you not carrying on their legacy.
Sounds like your parents should've aborted you
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