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Hello /adv/ help me out if you can.
Short story:
Known this girl, a work mate, for a year. Got on like a house on fire right from the off but she had a long term boyfriend (5+ years). Me 28 her 31. Got the hots for her big time but I thought someone of her age in a 5 yr relationship was basically a 0% shot for me. Hang out all the time at work and with the odd weekend hangout, often with another coworker of mine (female).
We've always been flirty and touchy - not in a romantic way but a silly way - play wrestling, me bear hugging and picking her up etc. when we get drunk we do silly things like she'll spit water on me, been in a food fight in a restaurant. for people of our age in a professional environment probably a little bit inappropriate but not ridiculous for the workplace we were in.
Anyway, about a month ago she broke up with her boyfriend, to my surprise. This also coincided with me leaving the company for another job, still in the same city and very close to where we all live and work.
Got a bit of Dutch courage at my going away drinks and put my hands around her waist which she didn't seem to mind. Unfortunately had to go to a dinner with her and the aforementioned other work mate and whilst I was holding her around the shoulder for the walk nothing happened after then. I think the other girl has a thing for me and my crush is probably mindful of it.
Here we are a month later and I haven't seen her that much, apart from a group exercise thing and another dinner recently unfortunately again with the third wheel above. She hadn't sought me out in that period, but we were on the cusp of some of our usual drunken silliness before he evening ended and we all walked home. Even though she lives so close, with the way our houses are I would never has pretense to walk her home.
Anyway, what do now? I'm thinking of sending her a text asking what she's doing on Friday, as I know our common friend is busy. It's just tough to see where I stand. Any advice?
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>>18190425
call her and suggest you go on a date
also, don't hold back too much
there's probably a ton of tension between you two
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>>18190461
Call or text? I had been leaning towards a text asking her for drinks but without being blatant about what I want from her, however I know that's the cowardly crap that women hate. You reckon a flat out phone call asking to go on a date is the way to go? In deep friend zone territory so I know it might sound strange as fuck to say "do you want to go on a date?" Or is it?
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>>18190476
>Call or text?
i'd just text and ask her straight up
if you can't convince her to open up at all then just move on
if she opens up a little you'll just have to keep chatting for a bit
if she opens up a lot then suggest going on a date (as long as she's not being overly depressive/complaining, then you should probably consider avoiding)
but honestly, there is no guarantee no matter how bad you want this one person that you will have her.
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>>18190476
>>18190482
>text
Hell to the fucking no.
Bruh, I have asked out via text/email/note for far too long, even when I learned I shouldn't, just to be fucking sure the results are consistent.
Protip/brotip: it is consistent.
Call. Call and don't fucking himhaw about what you want. You already know it's the cowardly crap women hate, and you will only dig yourself deeper into the zone if you go in without a spine.
I tell you this because I have been there too many times already.
If you two don't see each other that often, then fuck it. You don't lose anything aside from an illusion or a feelgood hope.
Just do the thing. Call her, tell her "I've been wondering if you wanted to grab some drinks and hang". Hell, even call her fun or some shit. Try to sneak some way in to make her recall the enjoyment you two have in each others' company. You have something to build off of, so muscle up buttercup.
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>>18190661
Thanks man, you're right and a big chunk of my mind thought exactly that. Gonna do it
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>>18190709
Report back with results.
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