How to stop being a petty jealous cunt?

>>18187248
>self loathing
That's what causes ALL the jelly in you.

Hence the next step is realizing what things about you you hate and changing the ones you can change. (It'll take a good while and will suck)

>Guys don't like desperate chicks so they avoid me
If it's just about getting laid, being desperate won't do too much, so if you'd wanted to hook up at a party/club, you should be able to do it. Unless you're fat.
Not like getting laid will change anything, jus' sayin'

Surprised there is no orbiters asking for your details yet.

Anyways i think till you fuck someone or at least start a friendship with another guy the jealousy will keep eating away

Notably Unmentioned: OP's weight

>>18187263
Yeah I've tried just fucking a bunch of dudes casually to numb the pain about 5 years in and it didn't do anything.
>>18187267
I'm not skinny, I will openly admit that. I'm 5'4 and 130. I'm working on it.
>>18187264
I have started a friendship with this dude, but I just have zero attraction for him. Idk if he even wants to date me or not. We fuck around every now and then, it's not very good though.

>>18187267
But also, neither is she. She's the same height at 150 so idk, weight clearly isn't as big a deal as I thought it was myself.
Not even like the dudes she was pulling were fatties either. They were normal lookin dudes, which fanned my jealousy flames a bit more because I was only pulling obese dudes.

Though she also admittedly says her type are the insecure nice guys.

>>18187304
How old are you?

>>18187248
Male equivalent of you here. 9 years, 31 years old. I'm basically to the point of wanting to message my crush for the third time with the most desperate "notice me, sempai" message. But I know I have to keep it in.. since she didn't answer the other ones... ...fuck.

I literally scream under my breath and it's beginning to sound louder than it should.. fapping only makes me more bitter.. I live like 10-15 minute drive from the beach and I could pick up some slut if I tried, but it's fucking beneath me now.. a part of me feels like I need the meaningless sex in case I ever do get to make a second impression on my crush..pff... I know others are doing far worse than me.. but this only child solitude is all I really know..

It's kind of relieving to think that there are women experiencing this.. but really, we both know it saps our peace of mind. I accept the very different levels of sexual escapism and hedonism in our society, but my childhood warped my brain to think that sex was pretty bad. Attempts of rape, mom going from partner to partner. So I make my peace with this, lose my virginity at 22, long distance so first time was literally my last. Get dumped months later, two years go by, friend gives me head and I have a nervous breakdown both times she tried. Wasn't over my ex, end up on meds years later. Move in by myself, shit roofing job, get desperate and make out with a girl on the beach, grab her boobs through her shirt, she's not feeling it, hate myself, but still felt desperate. meh, old news now, all the apps and kik chats led nowhere, in a way I'm glad.. in a way, I dunno that I SHOULD be glad..

Now I just want my crush to notice me.. I've wanted meaningless sex, but if the possibility of me being able to experience intense feelings again is real, I would prefer that.. then I get nervous thinking I may get clingy(?) God forbid... women fucking hate that.. so ..yeah.

>>18187314
24.

>>18187318
cont.

funny because I think.. will I be MORE clingy if I do have meaningless sex? or less clingy by the time I talk to my crush..assuming she's single.. considering my mental makeup.. i dunno what to expect.. i don't wanna become numb to sex either and then potentially kill the part of me that really likes my crush..

>>18187380
or worse..somehow feel guilty and just dead.. disconnected from people who I'd otherwise feel compatible with..

>>18187248
>immediately was back on the horse fucking dudes
Horse fucking dudes?

File: 5884674+_21d21bca69f151b468a11c41bc127c31.jpg (195KB, 1224x1445px) Image search: [Google]

195KB, 1224x1445px

>>18187248
bruh try online dating

but get to know someone rather than hop on their dick

actually try to find someone who interests you instead of someone who will stick their dick in you and thrust in you

TL;DR no one likes a fat hoe stop hoeing around and actually use your mouth to communicate ideas and feelings with someone rather than slurp on a cock

>>18187248

I had a friend like you.
She was pretty bitter that guys would try to follow me home while she was single for nearly a decade.
She could not seem to grasp the reality that she was a 3-4/10 and was eyeing 8-9/10s.
Are you sure you're being reasonable with your taste?
If you can't lower your standards you need to do everything you can to improve yourself, not just physically but emotionally.
Don't be that annoying cockblock friend that huffs and sighs everytime your friend gets attention. smile and talk to someone else. Express enthusiasm. Nobody likes depressive bitches.
Dont take it out on your friend or eventually it ruined your friendship like it did mine.

>>18187248
Lol just don't be a hideous taiwanese cunt with a severely ugly pig face called ami liu.

>>18187318
>but if the possibility of me being able to experience intense feelings again is real, I would prefer that..

right in the feels senpai

Do you take it in the butt?

Single for 10 years? Are you 11?

Nice guys don't really want a loose skank with fuck buddy tendency.

>>18187699
I'm pretty "nice".. and I wouldn't judge her for her past if she met me halfway.. be good to me, and I will be good to you.

>>18188210
and I "nice" in the most neutral way I guess.. nobody is so perfect or so nice.. everyone has things about themselves that piss ppl off, and even disappoint oneself. I don't think anybody is truly nice in their skin.. the body betrays the soul in so many ways.

>>18187417
Been doing that. I just never find anyone even remotely interesting online. Or in person 2bh.
I don't even really get that much cock, only had a handful of dudes even want me in any way in my time.
>>18187449
I know, I feel really bad she felt like she had to hide this shit from me. Like I said, I reel it in as best I can, mask it, don't vent on them, just sometimes it does slip out. I apologize profusely when it does. And I never cockblock. Usually I'd just remove myself frrom the situation altogether if I ever even thought about it.

>>18187633
Last bf was in high school. Numbers probably closer to 8 years. Said almost 10 years.
>>18187635
Depends on your definition I guess. I attempted to have vaginal sex once in high school, got about tip deep before his mom came home and we had to scramble to get clothes on.
Ah youth.
He dumped me shortly after so I never got the chance to try again.
I also do oral, which a lot of people consider virginity losing I guess.
I don't really think of myself as a virgin.
>>18187641
Probably, but I have to work with what I got. And the skinnier the better, usually.

>>18187248
How ugly are you ?

>>18189608
Short and stubby, which makes you look fat at almost any weight.
Squarish jaw with chubby cheeks, which again, makes you look fat.
Huge tits, which is a plus I guess, but dudes tend to be more into the ass these days, which mine is pretty gross looking. Fat in all the wrong ways, droops a bit, cellulite galore. Plus a large hairy birthmark slapped right in the middle of one cheek.
Light stretch marks across thighs, stomach, and tits.

Really my only redeeming quality is big tits and an hourglass figure. But that usually gets thrown out the window when nude.

>>18189653
Forget your body, what are your hobbies, what do you DO? What kind of music do you enjoy? These are the questions you should be asking yourself when attracting a long-term mate. Compatibility. In that world you will attract people to you simply standing there. Go to major events associated with your favorite ..top 2 things.

>>18189664
or the one thing you simply cannot pull yourself away from.

>>18189664
I play a small handful of video games, watch tv, read manga/comics, study Japan.
Thing is, if I had to pick 2 things as being most passionate, it'd be the games and Japan. I can't stand weebs though, they're cringy as fuck. Anime conventions are filled more with weirdos than normal people with an interest in the country altogether. I don't play multiplayer games, I play mostly obscure web based crap and like, a handful of popularish steam games. I've found it to be hard to bond over a game you're both just playing solo. Also where the fuck do you even meet casual gamers that don't play mmo's that live anywhere near you in the first place?

It's a very small niche of people I mesh with. My hobbies just tend to attract more radicals than moderates I suppose.
(And obesity kek.)

>>18189690
You sound so much like someone I know, even down to physical description including the birthmark. Although I wouldn't know it was hairy. You're not her though, unless you lied about your age for no reason...
I think, as cliche as it sounds, you've just gotta fill your life up with as much shit that feels interesting, new, challenging etc, and then treat dating like this stupid thing on the side that probably won't go anywhere. That was the mindset and situation I had before I met my ex and it's precisely the opposite of what it is now that I do nothing except work and I'm so triggered by the mere idea of a relationship that either I come off as sad and desperate or I just go through phases or quitting the game completely.

>>18189799
lol where are you from? I wanna know where my kindred spirit is. How does she deal with it all? Or does she not?

But idk man, I've tried the whole "distract yourself and live for you" meme, it just doesn't work. I break down knowing I'm just forcing a lie every now and then, pretending not to care when I do.

>>18189813
>lol where are you from? I wanna know where my kindred spirit is. How does she deal with it all? Or does she not?

From the UK.
I met the girl in question 10 years ago at school when I was 14. She was a couple years younger than me, which when you're that age is quite a lot, so we've always had a kind of brother sister thing. Probably because I don't have a sister and she doesn't have a brother.

I don't know if she does deal with it, but I'm not sure how much she cares. She often says people find it difficult to get emotions out of her. I remember her briefly having relationships at school with guys that seemed a whole lot more fond of her than she was them. Maybe the similarities end there.

For me personally, I just can't stop thinking I need to change my surroundings completely. Easier said than done because I need a new job and a new place. But I started my job and moved here at about the same time as I started a relationship, so now that one has ended it just seems weird and lifeless doing the other. Maybe that's just the "fresh start meme" and I'll end up just as depressed but somewhere else but I hope not.

>>18189885
Huh. Just found it interesting we even have similar birth marks.
Then again, one of my best friends has a similar one too, though her's is more located on her lower back than ass lol.

Yeah, similarities definitely end there. I was always in those dude's shoes. Every guy I dates always seemed like he could do with or without me, and I always was worried I was too clingy.

I'd kill to change my surroundings, but I'm just stuck in college for another couple years. Changed majors too many times, got really behind. I'm done with it though, I'm tired of this school, tired of this town. Aint nothing I can do about it for at least another year and a half though, other than drop out.
And as an amerifat that would be the equivalent of taking about $180,000, taking a huge smelly dump on it, and then lighting it on fire.

File: 6078957+_40bb6442961a4b3bc98435f794465984.jpg (21KB, 326x221px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 326x221px

>>18189524
go to places or events that you enjoy and find someone who looks like they might be interesting to you and INITIATE the convo
i know thats hard to do but believe me when a girl does it you get the guy's attention and most likely a date or whatever
if it doesn't work out then oh well tough tits

youre a girl with huge tits (albeit chubby) but most/some guys are into that (i am to a certain extent) you're on easy-medium mode player

File: felicia-clover-grind-her-nice-ass-on-some-hard-cock-3.jpg (64KB, 683x1024px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 683x1024px

>>18189653
you sound like you might look a little like Felicia clover (pornstar)
shes a big girl with a big ass and some birthmarks and stretch marks but fuck i would fuck her in heartbeat


MOST guys know girls aren't supermodels and actresses with flawless bodies
as long as you are fun to be with and talk to and of course fuck with then you'll find someone no probs m8

Do you have small, beady, manly eyes? Because some delusional hoes think they're still hot because they have a non angular, symmetric, smooth face but it doesn't count if you have the facial measurements of a man.

You really need to just lower your standards, because you don't have "it" that the guys you want, want.

File: The French Exit_ Some notes on beauty, Part 2.jpg (68KB, 800x523px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 800x523px

Which one are you?

>>18190133
Solid 5.
>>18190111
I'd say shes bigger than I am, or at least looks bigger than I am.
>>18190091
I do approach. It's honestly the only way I've ever gotten the handful of dudes attention I have pulled.
But I was fighting for their attention with about 15 other girls usually, all of which were much more attractive.
Yeah, I got a single night out, but it felt like more of a "mm yes that's nice dear" while he texts the other girls for later than anything else.
This is all kind of way off topic though, assuming I'm right and I am just gonna fucking die with only my 300 cats to love me, is there any other way to stop being jealous of couples other than to get a bf? Or am I just fucked.

>>18190127
My face is fine other than the manish jawline.
You hear of butter faces? I'm actually more of a "butter body" lol. I have pretty feminine eyes, long natural lashes, pretty blue color, big. I also have good skin, I've never had acne really. A stray pimple here or there every year or so, that's it.
I really can't lower any more though, or at least not in a way that solves the issue. I honestly just got back from hooking up with this obese dude because he gave me the time of day and I know he's not got a ton of other girls lining up at his door. He's starting to hint at something serious, but man I'm so unattracted to him that just feels like a chore. Doing these hook ups feels enough like a chore.
And I'm still jealous of seeing happy couples, despite having the capability of dating this dude I don't really like right in front of me.

>>18190579
then i would fuck you
fuck thats hot

>>18190579
idk im no love guru
but you do sound like are a cool person to hang out with and be around
and you are sincere with finding someone so thats good


i'll tell you something tho
im head over heels over this one girl who id say most guys would find unattractive
shes the same height and weight as you
shes super pale and kind of has a big forehead and has this butt chin and has a little double chin going on
BUT boy do i love to talk and hang out with her
she just makes me feel so special and is so down to earth

yea shes no supermodel but idc
(she also is a crazy cat girl who always cuddles with her cat every night)
But i like all her "flaws" because shes a really great person

and im no fat guy
im pretty athletic
i run 3 miles a day and stay fit and id say i look pretty decent and make good money
im not just settling for whatever
i genuinely like this girl
and some guy will think the same of you

>>18190133

Fucking hell, I'm like an 8.5 - 9 on this scale. Goodbye insecurities.

>Guys don't like desperate chicks so they avoid me

this is not true
chads do avoid them because they are afraid to be chained down by a plaything

stop lusting after chads

>>18191101
Idk man, maybe 1 in a billion uglier chicks will win the lottery, but we can't all. I've been waiting this whole time to find a dude that I could get into to fall for my personality.
I don't think it's gonna happen.
In the meantime though, I'd still like to not be a cunt to my friends.
>>18191115
I mean I can date an obese autistic guy on the surface, but as I've said before, doesn't solve the problem. I just get the title of relationship slapped on to me with none of the properties.

My standards have basically boiled down to
>don't be fat
>don't be cringy autistic
>don't have a billion other chicks I have to fight for 20 minutes of your time with.

If that's still Chad then I can't be helped, because dating autismo the friendly whale doesn't solve the issue. I've tried that.
Hence why I've long since given up on ever getting a taste of that pure bliss and happiness and am now focusing on how to not hate everyone who does.

>>18190587
Girl, being a 'butterbody' is a much better position than the alternative: You can improve it by working out and eating healthy stuff.

I mean, you already have big tits and I've seen hints of an attractive personality. I definitely think you can improve your situation with some effort.

>>18191401
To an extent yes. But I will never not be short and stubby. Can't change my bone structure (or at least I think. Please tell me there's some plastic surgery to give me long skinny model legs, there is no amount of money I wouldn't pay)

And it's not that I'm not putting effort into my body. I diet, I exercise at least 30 minutes every day, though its usually more of an hour every day.
Shit just takes time, and my stomach fat is stubborn.

>>18189690
There are all kinds of ppl at cons. Try.

>>18191470
I have. I even went to a speed dating panel, and by far it was the most cringy thing I've ever seen in my life. There was literally a dude saying he was seeking another person to join him and his fucking body pillow in a polyamorous relationship.
I really prayed he was just doing a bit for the lulz.

The rest were obese or wouldn't even look me in the eye they were so anxious and girl shy (or both).
And again, all they knew was anime, and usually the worst kinds of anime. None could discuss real life Japan, or really wanted to. Or worse, thought anime clearly reflected real life Japan and all the anime tropes were true. My town even has a yearly Japanese festival, that was supposed to be unrelated to anime, but the weebs invade that so even there I couldn't find anyone interested in real world Japan, just which waifu was the sexiest.

>>18190579
Where is this wonderful place where 15 girls compete for guys?

>>18187248
Your personality needs work overall if even your friends are starting to walk on eggshells around you to stop you from spiraling any deeper.

>>18191539
Everywhere? Have personality and not be fat and chicks flock to you. Playing an instrument helps too I've found. Chicks dig rock stars idk.

I fell for this guy who just wanted some quick strange every now and then. Dude was super sexually confident, not terribly attractive, but a people person. He could get along with literally anyone. But he had a ton of chicks hanging on him because of it. Was hard to get a spot in his busy schedule.
>>18191549
I know, what do? I want to stop being a jealous cunt but it appears the only solution is to get a boyfriend that I can get into myself, and that's not possible.

>>18190587
Maybe you would benefit from getting into fitness
>self improvement
>results you can see
>generally supportive environment
>enormous volume of resources in print and online
>good looking guys who will have a common interest with you

I recommend everyone give it a chance. Try anything you want: running, weights, hiking, cycling, etc. You'll be improving yourself and raising your confidence, in addition to joining an activity that others are also passionate about.

Set your own pace, there's no pressure other than the pressure you put on yourself

>>18191555
See last part of >>18191418
Thats what I've been doing for years. I'm not saying it didn't help, because it did, but that help just starts to peter out after a while. It gave me the confidence boost I needed to get back out in the dating world in the first place, but now I'm just being put down by the fact I can't seem to find anyone I like that likes me back, and/or wants something longer than a single night.
It's what gave me the confidence to give causal sex a try, but I quickly learned that's not the solution I need.

But the only other thing I gotta say about the fitness fixes everything meme, is I disagree it's a supportive environment. I work out at home because whenever I did go to the gym, I got told women didn't belong in men's spaces and shouldn't take up their weight machines, and I should stick to the treadmills in the corner. And then I got the skinny women with huge asses walking in, pointing at me, and then whisper laughing.

Also to me good looking dudes aren't muscular or gym rats. Just skinny. So I never saw many good looking dudes there.

But I do agree the self improvement with results you can see is true. Though the results are so slow it's easy to ignore/miss.

Well it can't be your appearance alone, a 150 5.0 should be able to find a bf. Maybe its just Where you live?

DELETE YOUR FACEBOOK AND ALL THE SOCIAL SHIT

>>18191577
150 was my friend. I'm 20 pounds lighter.

Might be where I'm from, there isn't much for selection. But unfortunately I can't do anything to change that for another couple years, and well, I can't afford to live alone so I really need my friends if only for financial reasons.
But I also just don't want to be a friendless loser who treats undeserving people poorly because I'm jealous of them.

>>18191573
I only skimmed this thread OP, but I would say you should save your pennies and get something done about your birthmark. I know that for me personally, as shallow as it is, a gnarly birthmark right there on a girls face would be a dealbreaker for me, and I'm pretty sure I'm in the vast majority. I can nearly guarantee that getting it removed will be money well spent

>>18187248
OP in the future top kek

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yijsqgbnd0

>>18191573
Damn, I'm sorry you've had bad experiences. I was just speaking from my own positive experiences.

I still highly recommend finding an activity to join; and it looks like many other posters have said the same.
A new activity to you, because it is evident that your current ones are not filling the void.

In my experience outdoor clubs and communities are highly accepting and diverse groups of people; I've been involved with all kinds and the only prerequisite is to be interested in the the activity. Friendships just form naturally after that, since you will have plenty to talk about, and you'll gain new experiences from participation.

Even if you don't meet your love interest, you can expand your social circle and increase the chances of meeting somebody new. This is a main benefit for your situation.

I'd venture to suggest that trying something new and meeting new people will at least distract you from your woes. It doesn't have to be any activity I suggest, but you do need to try something new and break your self defeating cycle.

>>18191592

So you're an average weight/average faced girl?
id kill to be 130, working towards that but even at my heaviest
id still get attention.
Id consider myself in the 5-6 according to that chart but even when i was chubbier i never was a pursuer.
The lowest I've dated was a 5 but never an obese guy. I'm certain at 5 and 130 you can do better

Maybe it's the way you dress?
Whats your style?
What do you look for in a man besides skinny?
How do you flirt?
Would you consider yourself aggressive?
Alot of men are turned off by women that seem desperate

File: 1478030496481.jpg (26KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 400x400px

>>18191554
>What do I do?
Stop assuming everything is about you. Didn'tyou say you were in your 30s? Jealousy assumes other people's actions had anyfuckingthing to do with you. I'm not even going to tell you about mindfulness and Ajarn Brahm, or Buddhism or getting in touch with yourself as you relate to the world because right now you think you're at the center of it.

Repeat this one mantra:
>It's not about me.
>It's not about me.
>It's not about me.

Stay in your lane. Focus on your life. Stop living as the answer to a question or as a response to someone else and live your life.

>>18191578
Then I won't be able to use tinder anon, and that's the only way people meet anymore.
Social media and the internet that is.
>>18191595
Your skimming as failed you, I was talking about my ass cheek lol.
>>18191603
Lmao you know when I posted this, I was thinking of exactly that video. Didn't know if it had gone viral yet though or if anyone would get the reference. Was gonna put in the OP I didn't want to be the woman calling other women prostitutes for kissing in a crazy bowls and wraps or something lol
>>18191608
I'm just painfully uninterested in outdoorsy shit and sports. For starters, bugs. I can't stand them and they're just attracted to me. I can stand outside for 20 seconds in the summer and have 300 mosquitos on me. Flies and bees like to head straight for my ears for whatever reason.
Only outdoor thing I have remote interest in is urban exploration, however I'm too afraid of getting arrested to try it.

Sports are just boring to me all around.

I'm also limited on my types of exercise due to an old injury. Broke my knee when I was a teen and it never healed right. I'm not supposed to do weighted squats or anything according to my doctor.


I'm open to going out and trying new things if they're indoors, I just hold little faith I'll ever actually like anything or find anyone I can even stand to be around.
>>18191615
I posted my core standards here>>18191284
That's all that's mandetory.
I dress flattering to my shape.
I'm not aggressive at all, if anything I'm submissive when it comes to men.
And I know men are turned off by desperation lol.

>>18191418
Do you go to the gym or work out at home?

It doesn't matter if you're short; a fit body will make you look great no matter what. And if your personality isn't painfully colorless (which doesn't seem to be the case), your success with men will increase significantly. Just focus on working out and try to channel your resentment into it.

I'm a lanky guy in a similar situation and I can tell you I have very limited success, too. College girls don't go for my type (no shit.) I only started working out this year and yeah, shit does take time. My major is overwhelmingly represented by women and in 3 years, I've only had like 2 of them show interest in me (which ultimately went nowhere.) So yeah, I'm pretty much fucked if I don't remain consistent with my exercising. Anyway, I digress.

Obese guys don't do it for you, then? Have you tried going for lanky ones in the meantime? As I mentioned, girls don't really give a fuck about us, either, so there's no competition, if you don't mind our emotional (and literal) starvation.

>>18191625
>I just hold little faith I'll ever actually like anything or find anyone I can even stand to be around.

You might be saying this to save yourself from disappointment, but this attitude is actually holding you back from searching for your solution!

Which is a bigger waste of time? Trying new things and learning what you like, what you dislike? Or staying in your comfort zone and feeling this way forever!

>>18191631
she said she liked them skinny and most girls do lol.
maybe you two should meet

>>18191620
I'm 24
I'm not sure I understand the whole I'm making it about me thing.
It's that I see my friend kiss and cuddle and love up on her bf and while I'm happy for her, I'm also just fucking frustrated as all hell I will never get to experience what that's like.
How do I make deeply desiring that kind of love and affection not about me? It's not that I want her bf or anything, I just want that same feeling. And I've always wanted that feeling, it's kind of been my whole life's goal and purpose since I was 12. The only thing I ever wanted was to be in love, get married, all that jazz. Nothing else in life really mattered to me as much as that.
>>18191631
Home, and idk I disagree. Short girls, even fit girls, still look fat to a certain degree just because of they way they have to distribute everything in a small body.
Either way, I'm still working to get a slim and small as possible. It's just not gonna be for another couple years until I can be fit enough to look good, and again in the meantime I need to figure out how to not shove the only good people in my life away from me.

and I posted before, the lanky ones are actually my godtier. I don't like big muscular gymrat guys. But I'd fuck them over the obese ones at least.
Skinny lanky dudes > fit dudes > obese dudes
You'd be surprised about the competition though. Dude I was most interested in that had 16 other girls hanging off him? Skinny noodle of a boy.

Non autistic, non fatties, who have interest in settling down and not fucking around with a bunch of girls found someone while you were on the cock carousel. If you want to deal with it, find a hobby. The pain goes away.

>>18191637
I was saying it from experience mostly. I tried going to a couple group fitness classs. It was boring and full of women who were catty and cliquey. I tried taking up rock climbing, it was boring. I tried going to art classes, it was full of women and boring. I tried going to the college sports games, it was incredibly boring and I left half way through because I was falling asleep. I tried going to a smash tournament some bar was holding, realized I suck at smash bros and everyone else there were like, professional competitors.

My towns small and doesn't offer much to begin with.
>>18191650
anyone who uses the term "cock carousel" is by nature autistic anon lol.
Most normal dudes do not care about having a 100% pure as snow gf and understand if the girl they're with has had a couple of partners in their day. I mean I don't wanna be with a pure virgin of a dude either, because then he's holding way too much value to sex. Its not that big a deal.

>>18191650
But, thanks for being one of the only ones to actually offer a valid soultion and not just go round and round about how to find a bf, when I've already stated it's not possible.

Idk how much more into my hobbies I can get though, it numbs the pain a tad but does not make it go away, and then seeing other happy people just makes the pain rocket out like a volcano.

File: image.png (208KB, 415x300px) Image search: [Google]

208KB, 415x300px

>>18191649
>I'm not sure I understand the whole I'm making it about me thing.
>It's that I see my friend kiss and cuddle and love up on her bf and while I'm happy for her, I'm also just fucking frustrated as all hell I will never get to experience what that's like. .
Sure, then you sperged the fuck out and started telling your friend about it. That's going way beyond "Hey I see someone doing something and I'd like to do it to." It means that you believe in your heart that someone else is getting something that you deserve.

You don't deserve anything honey, and how much you wish for something makes no difference to anyone, including and especially you. You are harming yourself by focusing on what you don't have. What you focus on is what you have, and how you can use it to achieve your goals, and then if you need something to help you achieve your goals and go get it. You're like someone who stands at the finish line of a marathon race and thinks, "b-but I deserve to win too!!" Did you train every day? Did you give up everything but running between the gym and the kitchen? Did you even enter the race?

If happiness matters so much to you, put yourself on an incremental path to being happy, don't look at other people who are happy and wish and hope and pine. That's making their happiness about you. That makes someone else say, "Hey, I know I worked real hard for this, but I can't share it with her because I know she's going to get upset.

Discipline and effort put in to accomplish incremental steps is the way to accomplish goals. You see your friend happy, what have you done to accomplish that goal? Pic related, there are no magic solutions.

>>18191663
I'm a law student and engaged. Maybe I'm still autistic, but at least I'm not used goods asking how to deal with lonliness.

>>18191699
Is your fiancee a virgin, senpai?

>>18191684
Deserve is not the word I'd use, want is. I saw someone getting something I want, and am envious. It really was me spilling "I really fucking wish I could just have a taste of what you have, it's something I /want/ dearly." not deserve.
I don't think I deserve anything at all. Which is why I do work hard and every time I fail I understand it was because I wasn't good enough, and not worthy enough of it, and need to work harder.

But while I work hard, I still see these other people winning and I still want to win too. I'm not taking from their win at all, just looking in the side lines saying "I want to be that someday too. When will I ever be good enough to stand there too?"

>>18191699
Well, good for you man really. But, I don't want to date a dude who puts that much importance on sex. It's just not that big a deal and I would be overwhelmed by the type of dude who thinks having 3-4 oral only partners in their life as "used goods" lol.
Frankly, I'd much rather a dude who knows what he's doing than a virgin.
But to each their own, I'm happy you found your white as snow girl. Now I wish I could find my confident experienced dude.

Accept that you are the reason you cannot find a boyfriend. It isn't your friends fault in anyway and she cannot put a hold on her life just to pacify you.

It's a normal thing to find a partner. The vast majority of people, even those considered to be unattractive by conventional standards, manage to find a partner. Abusive people manage to find partners. Despite what r9k will tell you, it is considered a common life goal to find a life partner.

You cannot do this and you've said this is impossible. It falls with you. Your friend is capable of finding several partners by the sound of it. What do you expect her to do, keep this information from you just so you dont get butthurt and cry?

That's very selfish and may be one of the reasons why you can't find a partner. If your friends actions are upsetting you or making you jealous, stop being friends with her.

The bitter single friend is always a pain in the ass in a group anyway.

>>18191732
I don't. That's the problem I don't want to act in a way that makes her feel like she has to tip toe around me. I want to fix that.
So how do I fix that other than doing the impossible and getting a bf that both I like and likes me.

>>18191731
What do you work hard *at* though? Flailing around with your end goal in mind and wishing you could accomplish it? What steps have you taken?

For example, you want a husband and a house and a couple of kids maybe, whatever, it's just an example. To get the house you need the kids, to get the kids you need to have procreation sex, to get that kind of sex you need to be married, to get married you need a wedding, to have a wedding you need to get engaged, to get engaged you need a boyfriend, to get a boyfriend you need to date, to get a date you need to ask someone you like out on this date *without* all the emotional outpouring that is associated with a committed relationship, you need to start with "hey let's get coffee and see where this goes."

When was the last time you went out for coffee? Is there something stopping you from asking a guy out for coffee? No bullshit, no baggage, just go to a guy in one of your classes or at the gym and say, "hey, why don't we go out for coffee after?" What's your roadblock to that?

>>18191735

You just have to change your attitude then. Try CBT, read about how to stop jealousy. Maybe think about how great your friend is and how much she deserves to be happy.

I think you just need to stop being so set in your ways, to be honest. I can sense how bitter you are from how you write, so I'm certain that it will come across in real life too. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand your reasoning, I just think that maybe your mindset and attitude is influencing your success with the opposite sex.

>>18191649
>Home

I read about your bad experiences, but having some sort of instructor can be immensely motivational. You just gotta toughen up and stop caring about shitty people's negative comments. Trust me, it's well worth it.

>Short girls, even fit girls, still look fat to a certain degree just because of they way they have to distribute everything in a small body.

You'd be surprised. I have a friend who's really short but has been working out for years. I couldn't believe it when she revealed her actual height, she definitely looked tall as hell. And even then, if you're not completely satisfied, you could wear heels?

>Dude I was most interested in that had 16 other girls hanging off him? Skinny noodle of a boy.

Well shit. Then I guess it's not my body, but fucking divine punishment.

As for looking for ways to stop caring about men and bottling up your resentment, that's a terrible idea. You can't escape gregariousness--it's in your nature, and you even said it yourself: Finding a partner has been your dream since you were 12. You do *not* wanna go down the path of forcing yourself to stop caring. It'll eventually explode and be twice as strong as it is now. It's safer to continue focusing on self-improvement and come to terms, so to speak, with your situation. Outright denial as a defense mechanism is not only primitive, but dangerous in the long run; try to rationalize things instead ("okay, this is what's happening and it fucking sucks. This is how I'll deal with it and hope to solve it.")

>>18191743
Working out, fixing my body. Going out and trying to meet people, trying many hobbies, talking to many people on many platforms, really trying to get a date I can match with. I ask out probably at least 50 dudes a year, most of which reject me on the spot, and the handful of others turn out to be incompatible. Over the course of 6-7 years. Non stop searching, up until now even though I've long since passed the point of not believing it will work. Even though I don't think it will work, I still try because it's better to try something than sit around and complain.
When was the last time I asked someone out? YESTERDAY NIGHT. Went and saw a movie. Not attracted to the dude. Does not make me happy.

>>18191758
Sounds like you're on the right track then, as long as it's the guy and not you that's the problem. Do you do this same thing in the gym? Do you see someone lifting heavier or running longer and get jealous?

>>18191758

What do you think the reason is? I'm genuinely interested because I've never considered myself to be particularly attractive or interesting and I've never struggled to find a boyfriend. You sound way more interesting than me as well.

There must be some obvious reason why guys aren't responding to you. Do you think maybe you just have a really specific type that you're struggling to find? So maybe the issue isnt with you attracting a guy, its attracting a guy you like.

>>18191746
I suppose I can try the antidepressants again, it just didn't do much for me the first time around other than make me feel physically sick. But I will admit, I did not try many kinds. I'll try that next.
>>18191748
The other issue is money. I don't have the cash for a public gym other than the "free" one I get automatically through paying my college tuition. But personal trainers are extra, and expensive as fuck. Like 60$ a session. It's robbery imo.

I've never been successful with heels. I can never walk in them, I wobble and fall and near break my ankle no matter how much practice I've put into them. But I can just try harder I guess. Heels don't do that much for you though, can't slim the thunder thighs you get from working out too much.

Honestly, I think that explosion you're talking about is what's happening. For the past year and a half or whatever I've been trying to pretend like I don't care that I'm single, I just need to get finished with college, put all my effort into there. And now I'm breaking down.

Shit even gave me anorexia for most of the year, becoming so obsessive with my weight "progress" because it was the biggest distraction from how miserable I was. Seeing the scale go down was the only thing keeping me from killing myself. Though, in a way, my 200 calorie diet was in a way just slow suicide. Sometimes I still think about going back to that, now that I'm back to eating normally but not losing anything as fast as I was when I was anorexic.
>>18191761
No because I don't actually care about being fit or getting fit. It's just what I do to increase my odds of getting what I really want, a bf. I don't care when people get better grades than me, I don't care when people make more money than me.
As I said, literally the only thing I've ever cared about or wanted was a bf. and idgaf about how pathetic that is. I was put on this earth to find someone to love and to recieve love back. I have no other reason to live, this is my purpose.

Sorry to hear all this, OP. Unfortunately you're the example of the kind of girl I point out to the /r9k/ types that come here... it's not as easy for women as they think it is. And you want a healthy relationship, not something where some guy just fucks you lazily and rolls over to play League of Legends, which everyone should want.

Instead of giving you advice about where to find men, because I really don't know (I have a friend that compares similarly to you, and she only met a guy through a complicated link of internet friendships), I guess I'll try to give you some thoughts as someone who is happily out of the dating game.

I think it's important to remember that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Having a partner involves a lot of annoying commitments and saps your free time and flexibility. Right now, no guy is giving you shit for who you hang out with, is being clingy, wants to force you to sit in front of a full 9 hours of football each Sunday, doesn't want to wake you up to suck his dick at 3 AM when you have to work the next day (just trying to put myself in a girl's shoes, I'm annoyed by completely different shit obviously), and more.

Realize that you'll probably just get into a relationship and eventually that shit will wear off and you'll hate them anyways.

Maybe this is still kind of a form of bitterness, but it's more empowering, I guess?

>>18191731
>Now I wish I could find my confident experienced dude.
Except you can't because you're fucking ugly. Get it through your head. No normal girl should be having problems finding a guy. You're ugly. Get over yourself, slut.

>>18191770
I think its dudes smell the crazy on you.
Like, here's the timeline of my life.
>Get dumped at 16
>Spend the rest of high school getting over him, feeling ok about being single
>by 18 I'm ready to start dating again, begin my search. At 18, most people are more concerned with other shit than finding a long term partner, most would rather have a ons.
>College starts, I'm still looking. Had never had that much trouble rebounding before in my life, start to get anxious about it
>Realize adult dating is a completely different game than high school dating, have difficulty adapting
>By 21 I'm so paranoid that I will never find anyone ever again, that my high school bf was the only dude who would ever even pretend to like me. I start to openly look desperate, guys steer clear because It's obvious I'd take anything that threw me a scrap.
>21-22ish I did the meme of "I'm just gonna work on myself and focus on my studies!" Become anorexic, do everything I can to push all negative feelings down. Still low key search though deep down.
>24 I crack. All those walls I had built up shatter like glass, I become an absolute insane mess.
And here I am now.
I'd say maybe it is a specific type I cannot seem to find, but I really didn't think it was all that uncommon. It's too much to ask for a skinny dude with confidence who doesn't want to pump and dump me, apparently.

>>18191777
I know lol. But hey, I cannot fix that. And settling for ugly dudes just doesn't solve my problems. So I'm doomed to die alone, and I know that. It's kind of why I was looking for advice on how to keep the explosive emotions that come with that frustration on the down low.

I get you're projecting man, you're frustrated too. I understand completely. You can call me whatever names you want if it makes you feel a little better I guess. I don't really put any stock into your explosive outbursts because I know exactly what they are.
The same thing I'm doing. You're probably seeking the same advice.

>>18191796
>You're probably seeking the same advice.
No, ho, I get plenty of attention. It's just disgusting seeing so many fucking beta orbiters around the girls I have to compete for. They wouldn't be there if you had your standards straight and weren't so fucking delusional. There's no solution to your problems. You are the problem.

>>18191810
Let it all out man, I get it.
But idk what you're saying, are you saying I am a hot chick with orbiters and you're competing for me? Because I have one dude with interest for me right now, the obese dude. But if your personality weren't so shit you'd have zero competition at all for me.
Hypocritical I know, I'm a bitter shit and so are you, but that's turning me off from you.
But I know that, so that's why I'm seeking the advice.

>>18191539
you know they are in competition for your resources,protection and utility? women see males as discardable tools and they will discard you if you break down. good luck keeping a girlfriend around after losing your job and being hospitalize. not a world I want to live as a man.

Damn, here comes r9k to derail my thread.

Anyone with any last parting advice on how to get around jealousy WITHOUT getting a bf before my thread is killed?

>>18191835

Sorry dude, guy here, but if we wanna make this a men vs. women thing, there's probably more deadbeat dads who walk out on a woman and their baby than there are women who walk out on men who are hospitalized.

Also, people who lose their jobs and do not have a backup plan or have not kept their skills marketable deserve it.

>>18191773
>>>18191761 (You)
>No because I don't actually care about being fit or getting fit. It's just what I do to increase my odds of getting what I really want, a bf.
And that's where your problem is, because commitment to your goal isn't a predictor of success, all that means is that you're committed to each step of achieving your goal and you're not committed if you don't care. If the boyfriend fairy came out of the sky and granted you a boyfriend on the spot, you would stop going to the gym, stop trying to improve yourself, because what you said up there was, I don't care about self improvement, only getting a bf. You don't care about the steps, only the goal. You see your friend happy and you get jealous because you think it's so easy, but you don't see all the steps she took and how committed she was to each one. When step matters just as much as achieving your goal, your jealousy will go away. You'll be proud of your friend for being focused and following the path and being successful in achieving her goal.

>>18191824
>But idk what you're saying, are you saying I am a hot chick with orbiters and you're competing for me?
No, I'm saying the actual hot chicks have beta orbiters. The beta orbiters should actually be getting with you because you match leagues. They can't get with you because you're retarded as hell. I'm not bitter you dumb cunt, you're just annoying. All girls think if you use harsh language with them they got under your skin. Newsflash, I just tell it like it is. You're ugly. Either settle with some uggo or kill yourself and do humanity a favor.

>>18191850
>deadbeat dads

women are the gatekeepers of sex their fault for choosing such shitty guys


>Also, people who lose their jobs and do not have a backup plan or have not kept their skills marketable deserve it.

men are still less likely not to walk out on their girlfriends if they lose their job.

File: delldude.jpg (34KB, 480x319px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 480x319px

>>18191890

>Women are the gatekeepers of sex meaning they should read minds

I-it's not the guy's fault for being shitty, it's the evil woman's fault for not identifying that he's lying to her...! N-nothing is ever a man's fault!

I want /r9k/ to leave.

>>18191864
I don't think I'd quit though, because I'd know all it would take is to slip up a little and get dumped.
Achieving my goal doesn't just end once I get it, I have to maintain it to keep it.

Thats just how goals work though, you do the steps to get to the goal. It's not that I don't care about the steps, it's just that the steps aren't the goal. I shouldn't be satisifed with just finishing one step of the goal, if I still don't have the goal.
Or maybe I should I guess. How do I become satisfied with just doing a mere part of the whole picture, when I can't have the whole picture?
>>18191883
Its cool, keep it coming until it's done. I know the explosion can't end until it's all out. I will be your punching bag. If you were really any catch at all though, and if you were playing in your own league, then you wouldn't be threatened by those orbiters though man.
You know you're too ugly for the hot chicks you want too, and don't want to settle for ugly chicks too. You and me are in the same boat I understand you completely man. It's frustrating. Vent your frustrations.

>>18191788

Seriously OP, why do you fucking care so much? Why exactly do you want a bf? Have you actually ever been interested in someone beyond superficial reasons? Because it seems that to you anyone who passes a sort of checklist is good enough. Why is that? At least /r9k/ tards have the excuse of celibacy. This isn't the case for you, so what the hell?

I mean, skimming through the thread, you sound not so much bitter as vain and superficial as fuck. Have you tried being an actual person?

You're either ugly, a huge cunt or you smell really, really bad.

Because I have seen actual fat people, and I'm talking about the 110-130kg range, get in loving and caring relationships.

>>18191918
>then you wouldn't be threatened by those orbiters though man.
No I just hate the idea of beta orbiters. It shouldn't happen. I never said I competed WITH the beta orbiters.

I can see why you don't have a boyfriend. You can't read and are passive aggressive as shit. No man wants an ugly b-i-t-c-h.

>>18190133
>9.5 - 10
>looks like a 13 year old with braces


Hhehh heh heh

>>18191948
Lol, men love neoteny.

>>18191920
I really did love the dude I was with when I was 16. He wasn't 10/10. He was an average looking dude. I loved his passion for music. I loved the way he carried himself. I loved the way he stuck with his friends, how he took care of people, how he cared about the needs of others. I just loved him. Idk how to put it, I just knew from the moment I met him we had something special. I want to feel that again. It's not a checklist, but people usually want me to quantify it in some way to make sense of what I'm looking for.
All I'm really looking for is that instant feeling of "this is a cool person I really get along with" again, and I was just listing some of the common traits that the dudes I have had that with shared.

You seem triggered by me listing any physical requirements at all, I understand, everyone's shallow to a certain extent though. I just can't get it up for fat guys. I want to have good sex with a partner. Most people do.

>>18191934
Probably, I've said it over and over ITT, I'm not attractive, I'm not a prize, I'm ugly and shitty and I'm trying to fix that.
I wasn't asking for advice on how to get hotter, I already know and am working on that. I was asking for advice on how to tune my shit attitude.
>>18191938
>>18191810
>It's just disgusting seeing so many fucking beta orbiters around the girls I have to compete for.
that sure makes it sound like you're competing with them man.
Again, you're very threatened by them. Even with that dude who had 16 other girls he was talking to, the only ones I felt threatened by were the ones hotter than me. There was 1-2 that were uglier than me. I paid them no attention because I knew I was better.

Know you're better man.
Let it all out. Be angry, vent your frustration on me, its cool I understand what is happening.

>>18191918
No, the steps are the goal, senpai. You don't get to the top of the hill unless you're committed to each step of the climb. If you don't care about the steps to achieve your goal, what have you achieved?

>>18191908
I am a guy who is not a mind reader and I have no problem weeding out shitty girls from my life. I can spot red flags from a mile away. why can females do the same and not sleep with them like the idiots they are?

>>18191958

>I wasn't asking for advice on how to get hotter, I already know and am working on that. I was asking for advice on how to tune my shit attitude.

Shit, I don't know, I've been in seclusion for 9 years myself. Before that, I used to just go out with friends and meet new people and we'd click. Now? I can barely remember what it was like to be in a relationship with someone, but I know I miss it.

As for your attitude.... well, you obviously know it's the desperate angle which puts people off, much like you yourself would be put off by someone like yourself, i.e. desperate for a female mate, so the only advice you can get from me is to tone it down or rather subsume it via hobbies, be they new or old.

I'm getting PnP shit myself lately, figure I could use that to get reintegrated socially on the local scene, but I have my age going against me, 30 years old, because most people that go to Pen 'n Papers game sorts of clubs are in their early 20s.

>>18187248
Shit that guy really looks like me, but it's not me

>>18191958
Lol you're so mad you're ugly. Take a antidepressant or get a lobotomy then buy a funhouse mirror for your bathroom. You'll feel better.

>>18191962
But if the steps are the goal, then that means I've completed the goal by getting fit.
But I haven't. Because getting fit was not the goal.
I could be fit and still not in a happy relationship. I'm committed to climb the steps, but because I'm reaching for the goal. I'm still working on getting fit to improve my odds, I'm still dropping weight by the day. But I'm still single.
>>18191980
Yeah I guess. I'll just try to cram it all back again and fill my empty husk of a body with as many hobbies as I can stuff into it.
>>18191988
keep it coming man. get it all out of your system. I already know you're not talking to me, but yourself. I know because I've been there.

>>18187248

Creepy guy here.

Loser friendless virgin, former "nice guy" (shit, if just trying to put a smile on peoples faces is wrong now, fuck that shit, the only solution is to mind my own business and pray everyone else minds theirs too), former /r9k/ poster (when /r9k/ was a good place to just vent without a million roasties harping in... ffs you don't see me raiding your tumblr threads - I let you vent).

So first thing I'm going to adress is;
>single bitch for almost 10 years now.

This tells me that you've had at least one relationship before. That makes things harder for you than it does for me because you know what you're missing out on.

>I've been trying to just come to terms with my inevitable catladydom

This is the only solution. just embrace who you are.
I tell myself "It's been made abundantly clear. I am a creep. Tried changing it, nothing works. I'm either a creep for bothering women or a creep for minding my own business".

Once you start treating it like a permanent condition, you realise looking for a cure is a waste of time and start looking to manage it instead;
>I'm a creep either way... but if I stay away from them and mind my own business, I don't have to hear that load of bollocks and get hurt.
>People never really made me happy bcause they treat me like a creep and I'm tense around them because they're more likely to take things the wrong way with me. Therefore, I cannot relax around others, therefore I'm happier or at the very least, more comfortable alone.

>all that other stuff.
That bullshit comes out from time to time but the better you learn to accept what you are the less frequently it happens.

Might be worth ducking out of relationship conversations for a while until you're more comfortable with who you are.

File: pixlr.jpg (331KB, 2027x2048px) Image search: [Google]

331KB, 2027x2048px

>>18191995
Yes, each step is a goal, because without completing the steps, you will never achieve your goal. This is a 1 year progress pic for me. I did this after I got married.

>>18191995

>Yeah I guess. I'll just try to cram it all back again and fill my empty husk of a body with as many hobbies as I can stuff into it.

Try and find some local online communities. Obviously I have no idea where you live and I'm not going to ask since it's pointless and intrudes into your privacy, but you might find someone in your area through the internet. I don't know where your interests lie, but crafts, book clubs, hobby shops, fucking fanfiction forums - try anything, spread yourself around.

File: pixlr.jpg (2MB, 2048x2048px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2048x2048px

After the weight loss there was so much skin I looked like a deflated balloon. These two pictures are also about a year apart.

>>18191958
>You seem triggered by me listing any physical requirements at all
I'm triggered because I honestly can not tell what you're looking for and why

>I really did love the dude I was with when I was 16. He wasn't 10/10. He was an average looking dude. I loved his passion for music. I loved the way he carried himself. I loved the way he stuck with his friends, how he took care of people, how he cared about the needs of others. I just loved him. Idk how to put it, I just knew from the moment I met him we had something special.

This is literally muh first time teenager crap. Are you telling me you're seriously chasing this feeling at mid 20s?

>All I'm really looking for is that instant feeling of "this is a cool person I really get along with" again, and I was just listing some of the common traits that the dudes I have had that with shared.
>instant

And that's precisely why I called you vain, not because you have listed physical requirements, but because that's ALL you've listed (unless I missed something). Why not look into developing a relationship? Are you seriously saying that after trying out a bunch of hobbies not a single person involved seemed somewhat interesting enough for you to try and start a relationship with? That speaks volumes of your lack of substantiality. I'm not even trying to be mean.

Also, on an unrelated note:
>Let it all out. Be angry, vent your frustration on me, its cool I understand what is happening.

Is this "heh, nothing personal kiddo" smugness a part of your personality IRL?

File: 04 Pri.jpg (234KB, 1600x1600px) Image search: [Google]

234KB, 1600x1600px

This is the wife, and it was also hard for her to learn the difference between being motivated to achieve a goal and being disciplined enough to focus on each step separately and treat it as if it were a necessary part of the end result.

File: 1483813724214.gif (994KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]

994KB, 500x375px

>>18192045
>>18192019

At least you got matching tits.

>>18191970

Sorry dude but it's just not the same. You don't have something grow in you, and "red flags" don't make up for accidental pregnancies.

>>18192009

There's nothing wrong with being a nice person and you're autistic if you think that's the problem. It's when "nice" is your defining personality trait, not just your default factory setting. There should be some other things to you, like being funny, or creative, or smart, or or athletic, or cunning, SOMETHING that isn't just "I get out of people's way to accommodate them and am seen as harmless."

Yeah, some people are attracted to shitty people, but you can be a kind person and still be successful with women. Anyways, I'm derailing here.

>>18192009
Yeah I suppose its because I do know what I'm missing out on that I can't really do this.
Because I KNOW I'm not happier being alone. I've experienced what it's like to be happy. It's a drug man. Don't get hooked.

I try to avoid relationship talk as much as possible, but, well, thats what girl friends do. They get in a circle and dish about their love lives. And it was exactly that kind of situation that caused my meltdown on her the first time. She just wanted to share her fun time with her best friend, who most best friends would be excited to hear about (because then they in turn have their own stories to share). But that ain't me. Even though I knew deep down it wasn't like that, my bitter jealousy twisted it in my brain to think she was bragging or something.
>>18192011
And I've made lots of progress. I was like, 215lbs at my peak. and now I'm 130. I've lost almost 100 lbs. When is my goal complete?
>>18192017
Idk I discussed that earlier. What I'm into is not very social, and I find I hate most people with my shared hobbies because they're too extreme about it.

>>18192019
There's surgery for that you know. Docs will fix it right up. Worked great for my brother.

>>18192044
>Are you telling me you're seriously chasing this feeling at mid 20s?
Yup. I know its pathetic. I was truly happy then. Haven't really felt that happiness since.
> but because that's ALL you've listed
I think you have missed something. Because I really do just want someone I can get along with that I can also find sexually appealing. I have tried to develop a realtionship. As I said, I'm seeing this dude that I feel alright about mentally, but have zero sexual attraction to, who is hinting at something serious. And the thought of dating him feels like a chore. Because we just don't mesh well enough.
And I mean, I don't think it's all that uncommon to not mesh perfectly with everyone you meet. I've met a ton of people, yes. None stood out to me as anything special. Yes, I can try and force myself to like someone I don't, but that doesn't make me less jealous of those dating someone they actually like.
I mean, hell I can even try and pay someone to pretend to date me. That doesn't fix the problem though.

Of the people I've met that I did have that interest with, they did not want me, or want anything serious. It's not that I've never met ANYONE worth dating, it's that they never wanted to date me.

It's really just gotta be personality, motivation and ability to put yourself out there correctly, and luck. I think physical appearance has way less to do about it than it's easy to assume.

I'm 25. Good genes, well made face, 6'4", but i've never had a romantic relationship. I'm 100% sure it's not because of my looks, but about how there is nowhere to meet people my age where I live.

>>18192073

>What I'm into is not very social,

What are you into? Sorry, the thread is cluttered with a lot of shit, so I skimmed.

>>18192044
>Is this "heh, nothing personal kiddo" smugness a part of your personality IRL?
Oh and, no. Of course not, I only do this to trolls.
>>18192045
>being disciplined enough to focus on each step separately and treat it as if it were a necessary part of the end result.
But that's what I'm doing. It's a step towards the goal. I'm focusing on each step separately as a step towards the ultimate goal.
I just genuinely cannot care about health or fitness by itself for it's own benefits. It's a necessity to the goal. That doesn't mean I don't care about it, that doesn't mean I'm half assing it.
>>18192088
Japan, a handful of single player vidya.
If you go anywhere in america at least that has any focus on japan, it's flooded with weebs and you can't pick out the normal ones from the pillow fuckers.
If you don't play mmo's, it's near impossible to find gamers. And besides, it's not exactly easy to bond over playing games independently of each other without communicating.
That's shit you can only pull off once you've been dating seriously for years.

>>18192073
Fitness? That's never complete, you just keep doing it. Same with just focusing on yourself and being a good person and being supportive of your friends. Get comfortable with your station in life and start saving money. Make a budget and reduce stress. Wake up and go to sleep on a schedule. If you literally don't care about self improvement, your relationship is going to be absolutely shit
>>18192078
This isn't my final form senpai or I'd be in India right now getting it done.

File: 658.jpg (33KB, 600x886px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 600x886px

>What are your hobbies?
>Japan
>Unironically hates and looks down on weebs
>What are your hobbies?
>J a p a n

>>18192096
I do care about self improvement. I care about it as a necessary step to getting a bf. I just don't care about being "fit" or "healthy"
Like if in an alternate universe it was unhealthy to be fit, but it was still what was needed to get a bf, I'd still do it. I'd get fit and be unhealthy if that's what I needed to do.

>>18192093

I've only ever had a small interest in Japan, more in relation to some of their ceremonies and language, rather than the traditional manga and anime interests that most people have nowadays, so I can't really help with that.

>If you don't play mmo's, it's near impossible to find gamers.

That's... weird. Especially if you live in a fairly populated area. Especially in America, I'd dare say.

I mean, I'm from the fucking Balkans and even know people here who play mostly single player games and can still easily talk about those.

Out of curiosity, what kind of games have you played/had an interest in? Name them, please.

File: gafhhags.gif (464KB, 500x338px) Image search: [Google]

464KB, 500x338px

>>18192107
And this is why I hate the weebs. They make everyone think Japan is nothing more than one big anime.
They breed this mindset.

And you know what, I even watch some anime. But I'm not fucking body pillows like the rest of them. And I'm watching it to see the cultural notes (because anime is still fiction anons, while there are hints of reality in some, it's still fiction.)
You just cannot seem to find any anime fans that aren't autistic and have an interest in more than JUST anime when it comes to japan.
Saw this posted on here a long time ago that sums it up.

Weebs like japan because they like anime.
Normal people like anime because they like japan.

>>18192112
I dig the language and culture. I especially love the education system they've got (minus the suicides).
I don't live in a very populated area. Best I can find are the DnD nerds, but that's not video games and I have no interest in DnD.
Again though, it's hard to go off that though. Like "Oh wanna come over and sit in silence while you play Banished and I play Mass Effect independently of one another?"

I play a lot of steam shit. Banished, Don't Starve, Prison Architect. I play indie web based games like rpg maker games too.
Most mainstream games I was into was Infamous and Sims.

>>18192110
So you are an answer to a question. You are a response to what someone else does. There's no other way to describe it. Until you know yourself and want to improve yourself for your own sake, you will always be living vicariously through other people's actions and behavior. This is why you come off as desperate, you look at a man as if you're saying, "Hi, I'm here, I'm a girlfriend, am I good enough?" He doesn't know, senpai. How would you respond to a guy who came up to you as though he were waiting for you to do something so he could respond to it? How do you think your friends feel when you don't think of them as people but as if you were watching them and comparing them to you?

I read a few sentences and see that your view is far too distorted to accomplish anything. *That* is what leads to "catladydom." I'm not even gonna stick around for the pointless rebuttle.

File: vd.jpg (57KB, 717x533px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 717x533px

>>18192118
>List 'Japan' as an interest or hobby with no quantifiers or specifics
>Unwarranted sense of self importance due to feeling like you're 'above' some monolithic group that is all totally a bunch dumb creeps
>Thinking 'Fiction is fictional!' is insightful
>Unironically thinks it's impossible to find anime fans who have an interest in japan besides Anime
>UNIRONICALLY SAYS "Normal people like anime because they like japan"
>"""""Normal People""""""

This entire post reeks of such dire, blind self-importance that it kind of explains some of your problems in and of itself.

Even if you're being hyperbolic, everything you said is still entirely based on anecdotal evidence.

>>18192133

DnD need not be strictly just Forgotten Realms shit. There's really ton of neat stuff out there. If you ever have the inclination to look up more, head over to /tg/, maybe make a thread about some kind of setting that potentially interests you, because chances are there exists some PnP game about it.

>Again though, it's hard to go off that though. Like "Oh wanna come over and sit in silence while you play Banished and I play Mass Effect independently of one another?"

Okay, yeah, that's weird. Like I can understand you or another person playing a game, while the other person or you watch, but both playing single player stuff at the same time? That would be kinda off.

>I play a lot of steam shit. Banished, Don't Starve, Prison Architect. I play indie web based games like rpg maker games too.

Ever played Evil Genius? How about Startopia? Or maybe Alpha Centauri? Try expanding your horizons a bit, check out some other stuff rather than just indie stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you to jump into Uncharted, Tomb Raider or anything of the sort, I don't play those games myself either.

Regarding indie stuff, what about Oxygen Not Included? Forest? Subnautica?

>>18192137
I just don't know how to do that man. How do I care about myself for the sake of myself when my whole life's purpose is to make someone else happy.

And I think everyone compares themselves to others.
>>18192153
If you like anime that's fine man, I just don't find the typical anime fan attractive. They're usually ruining the hobby for everyone else.

Because yes, I do think I'm better than dudes who have sex with pillows and jizz on figurines lol.
Is that all anime fans, no. But it's the vast majority and it's near impossible to pick out the normal people from them in a crowd. Yes, normal people exist.
>>18192164
Yeah, see it can be difficult to bond over. I don't mind watching games if they're story based, because then it's like watching a movie, but even still. Hardly anyone wants to sit and watch someone play a whole game. That's why the let's players edit their shit down, and usually you're watching them for their banter and commentary than the game itself.

Haven't heard of any of those. I'm a filthy casual at heart.
Other than Oxygen and subnautica. I loved don't starve, so ONI was something I looked into, but I wasn't as impressed with it. Klei dropped the ball I think.
Subnautica I just never got into. My sister plays it though

>>18192205
You need to care about yourself enough to understand that you have something to offer the world and the world needs you. You need to understand that you are a person of value intrinsically. you need to love yourself, don't cause anyone else suffering, don't cause yourself to suffer, and alleviate suffering when you can. You are unique and special just by yourself and that's why your friends love you.

File: Steamstuff.png (2MB, 688x4766px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 688x4766px

>>18192205

>Hardly anyone wants to sit and watch someone play a whole game.

Maybe it's because my childhood wasn't exactly well off, so I grew up watching my better off friends playing their games, but I never really understood why anyone would mind that. Sure, if someone's fucking retarded and acting like a moron, I can understand not having the patience to just sit there and not shake them until they do the obvious thing that even you as a first timer can see is the right course.

As far as story based games go, yeah, I don't mind watching someone play those either, but it usually takes some kind of special circumstances. Nowadays, I can't stomach watching LPs unless they have a voice that can pull me in. Oh and if they just banter endlessly, I don't watch them. I can't stand pointless chatter, or at least chatter where I don't participate.

>Haven't heard of any of those. I'm a filthy casual at heart.

They're a bit older. Evil Genius came out in 2004, Startopia in 2001 and Alpha Centauri in 1999. Great stuff really, if a bit dated.

I don't really play all that many indie games myself. The shit I have on Steam is mostly more mainstream than anything else, due to those sales. I have more games as physical copies or just straight up pirated stuff like Alice: Madness Returns.

File: kok.jpg (95KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 1280x720px

>>18192205
I consume japanese media on a nearly daily basis, but I haven't watched an anime since 2013. Stop assuming anyone who dislikes the nonchalant dismissal of an entire group is part of that group.

I have a feeling your distaste for anime fans is larger than you're letting on. When you say "Have sex with pillows and jizz on figurines", do you realize how uncommon that actually is? Those things are expensive and fucking/jizzing on them ruins them.

Do you really mean "I dislike people who buy anime merchandise"?
Because that seems more like what you mean, here. Not saying there aren't hotgluers and creeps, but trying to paint them as a majority of an entire demographic of people as wide as "People who enjoy cartoon animation originating from japan" just reeks of shitty, ill-informed opinion.

And yes, I realize normal people exist. But normal American people don't have 'Japan' listed as a hobby, have mental breakdowns over not having a boyfriend at 25, or only play singleplayer videogames.

Just saying, trying to deflect personal problems by having groups you make fun of and blame for shit isn't a very attractive trait.

>>18192229
I do have something to offer, I have plenty to offer to a boyfriend/husband. That is what my purpose is. I understand that much.
>>18192234
Yeah, thats kind of why I stopped watching game grumps. They're just holding a conversation while playing a game. I prefer when its more holding a conversation about the game they're playing. Maybe going off on tangents every now and then.
>>18192244
Idk man it's the majority of what I see. I see creeps with waifus and ill informed knowledge of Japan because they think their favorite anime is real. Hell, I've been taking Japanese language courses for 2 years now, and not a single person in my classes doesn't talk non stop like an anime character.
If I have to hear
"EEEEEHHHHHHH SUUUGGGOOII KAWWWAAIIII" one more time I'm going postal man.
My first year class got derailed for a waifu war I shit you not.

I'm just telling you I've been to many a convention, Japanese class, and any other event associated with Japan, and I have NEVER met a normal anime/japan fan.

And I never claimed to be normal overall, clearly I'm not. But I'm not reducing an entire group of people to a fictional tv show at least.

>>18192700
>I do have something to offer, I have plenty to offer to a boyfriend/husband. That is what my purpose is. I understand that much.
That's not going to help you. Get past that line of thinking and your life will change dramatically for the better. Nobody wants a "Whatever you want" girlfriend.

>>18192871
But thats the way life makes sense to me. I don't understand life without the goal in mind of having a loving partner to care for.

>>18192878
If that's your only goal, you're not gonna make it.

>>18192948
Well shit.
Can I at least figure out a way to suffer in silence? Or should I just release all friends and become a hermit?

>>18193321
You need individual counseling to help you sort out what your place in the world really is, because the only kind of guy you're going to find with this attitude is an abuser / cheater / user.

>>18193344
idk I don't feel crazy. I just have a different set of goals than the money/career oriented life goals most people have.

But it's like, on one hand I'd like to say I wouldn't stand for being abused. But on the other I also fought pretty hard for a dude who ignored me and paid me no attention except when he wanted a handie because he had better chicks to see.

I just have a lot of love to give anon, and I'm feeling overwhelmed keeping it all to myself, even though I still am picky about who I can even give it too. I have to really want to start dishing it out

>>18193358
Counseling. Your worldview is warped.

>>18193368
What does paying someone to listen to me talk and not offer any advice or help do me though?
Yall have been listening to me talk for free and it hasn't changed my situation at all.

>>18193380
We aren't professional therapists. We can only offer advice that may or may not be shitty.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is what you should look into.

>>18193388
Yeah but isn't it in the therapists rule book to never actually offer any advice or help. Just sit there, listen, nod their head and agree with everything you're saying.

>>18187248
You act like there's an extravagant ritual behind intercourse, you go to the bar, down a shot, make eye contact and that's it. Stop being such a stuck up cunt and get over yourself

>>18193435
Yeah, getting random no strings attached sex is relatively easy. But that's not really the problem. I can fuck dudes all I want who won't even remember my name in the morning, I'm jealous mostly of love and relationships, something I can't ever have.

But also, it's not that easy. It's more like, spend 3 hours dolling up, go to bar, down a shot, fight for dude with 10 other girls, most of which are far more attractive than me.
I get some scraps every now and then, but getting a desirable sex partner isn't really that easy.
And there's not much point in fucking a completely ugly dude, as I've found, because what the hell am I getting out of that? Being crushed by some fatty for 10 minutes while he grunts and farts and I'm just wishing I were at home with my vibrator.

>>18193393
That's the unfortunate stereotypical image of a therapist. Remember when I said my major is overwhelmingly represented by women? Well, it's Psychology. Trust me on this: You will strongly benefit from good cognitive-behavioral therapy practiced by a competent professional. Roughly speaking, the therapist is supposed to question your worldview as they identify problematic structures in your belief and value systems that are making you suffer. At the very least, it's worth it to visit a therapist for a general assessment.

I'm a lanky guy. Wouldn't you want to listen to me? Wink wink.

>>18193693
Maybe, just that was the experience I had the last time I saw one. She just fed me basic lines and would not give any advice what so ever. Just make me think real hard about why I hated myself and it was just exhausting. I already know what the problem is, tell me how to fix it.

File: 1+it+s+more+likely+for+a+person+to+serve+on+_be59a3ecb9d7d4fe34249b44c029654a.jpg (26KB, 338x305px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 338x305px

>>18191284
shes not ugly although my description doesnt paint her in a pretty light she has a nice face
shes just a little fat (she used to be alot slimmer) and it kind of seems like its going to stay the same or worse but i like her and it doesnt bother me too much as i thought it would honestly
you seriously have a self image issue
like you know there are big girls getting slim to fit guys and big guys getting slim to fit girls

like its not all about body
yes people are animistic but we also care about the other person not being a pain in the ass to hang out with
someone who is fun to talk to and hang out with but isn't a "model" is better than a person who is a drag or a pain in the ass and is good looking


and stop being a cunt to your friends
they are not the reason you cant find love
your really pessimistic views of life and your self worth are the reason and yes i read your cringy speed date thing but than again thats to be expected for that sort of thing
you got this

>>18193776
Yeah, but the whole skinny dudes (who are confident at least) getting with fat chicks doesn't happen very often. Yes personality is important, but what you look like is what get's them to even talk to you in the first place. Come for the hot bod, stay for the hot personality, that kind of thing.

It's cool you could get around her being fat though. I wish I could do the same. I could date this dude and maybe be happy about it if he weren't so fat. But because he is, and I can't be sexually excited for him, idk I can't imagine it being a good healthy relationship since sexless relationships are never good ones.

>>18193697
Well, therapists aren't really supposed to tell you what to do all the time. It's okay if they explicitly offer advice sometimes, but if they simply gave you orders, then you would become dependent on them. One of the goals of therapy is to make you able to solve your problems on your own, so that you don't have to keep going back.

Look for recommendations. Make sure the therapist is qualified and knows what they're doing. Good therapy will be unbelievably helpful to you.

File: 6090393+_e96ad474b338ca8105ab8ed58b12c746.jpg (36KB, 540x419px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 540x419px

>>18191625
>using tinder to find love
use okcupid or POF
both very great dating apps that ASKS alot of question so you'll hopefully find someone equally compatible

tinder is for one night stands and casual sex

>>18189664
This. The whole "guys only care about looks" shit is a meme. Yes I want a girl I feel physical attraction for but I meet so many girls I like physically that have nothing going on in their life. They don't do anything except sit around and mope until the next guy comes along, then they just get sucked into his life. They just attach to him and he becomes their reality. It's fucking boring and annoying.

Have SOMETHING going on. Please. I don't care what the fuck it is for the most part unless its just alcohol and weed. Just my two cents though.

File: 3oz.jpg (143KB, 729x1081px) Image search: [Google]

143KB, 729x1081px

>>18193796
could you possibly both go to the gym together to work out?
its a great experience to share and its always safer to have a partner so you push your limits

you both get hot af and then have wild sex afterwards
sometimes getting what you want requires working for it
make this guy into the adonis he could be and fuck his brains out

i like this girl im seeing but sooner or later ill ask her to come work out with me and get her more in shape
really she just needs to eat better she does track and soccer and she knows shes a little fat she just needs to lay off the cheeseburgers after practice
i still adore her but i would like to see those pale buttcheeks get some definition and her waist slim down a bit

File: Picture+guide+is+better+than+having+to+explain+how+4chan+_b9b50ef65ce2fbb26fb7f80b14cfd197.jpg (139KB, 1599x978px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 1599x978px

>>18193797
Ah yeah see that's what I don't like about it. I don't know what to do, tell me how to fix it. If I fix it then I won't need to come back.
But instead it just feels like they're trying to lead me in some direction and I'm just not taking the hints and would be much more efficient if they just told me what to do.
But also, good therapy will also be expensive and I'm probably limited to my college's free counselor which is basically just a minimum wage job they give to seniors in the social work and psychology majors.
>>18193813
I did both of those too. Nobody within 200 miles of me really uses anything other than tinder. Never even found anyone remotely near me on POF. There were also lots of middle aged dudes on OKC I noticed.
>>18193844
Idk, I know how long it takes to lose weight, and he seems to have made a habit out of his eating. He eats junk food every day, lots of mcdonalds. I'm also not sure how long you have to be with a person before it's not insulting to say "dude you're gross please lose weight."

Other thing is given his overall build, I think even at his best he would be that, bearmode look. I might be able to deal with that, though my ideal has always been more towards ottermode (but even thats too much muscle for my liking.)

File: 1490901886239.jpg (54KB, 498x810px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 498x810px

post pic of urself, blur your face

let's see that bod and tell you what to do.

>>18193882
well you start seeing results after 3 to 4 months of CONSISTENT work outs

but the biggest thing is eating right
if you got to the gym everyday but head to McDonald after wards right away then its pointless
you need to eat rice and cook your own meats mostly chicken since its lean and drink lots of water and juice
soda and any other sugar liquids are bad for you

make it a habit and after awhile you can have a soda for two a week and get some burgers but all things in moderation


you just have to tell him you dont fell that sexy body wise and he could also stand to benefit going to the gym to get in shape too and that it would make you feel better and boost his ego by saying other stuff

bearmode is better than fat
im more in the ottermode myself i rub 3 miles a day and work out in the FL SUN (summer is coming and bitch gets to 115) plus i dont gain alot of weight naturally i burn it fast
my girl is sort of fluffy to chubby fat (really big thighs and no hourglass)

>>18193961
I don't think thats a good idea. Besides, I already know what I can and can't do with my body. That's not the issue, other than the fact that you can only do so much with what god gave ya.
>>18193965
Right, and idk if he'd commit to that. I mean especially since its not even like we're anything significant yet. I feel like you don't get to ask your partner to lose weight until like, months in.
I also feel like he's gonna be like, what? You got with me when I was fat and you're just now deciding you don't like it?

>>18194003
well if this guy doesnt want to improve than tough titties
you dont really find him attractive anyways and so nothing of value is loss


but seriously just find a good approach

>>18193882
>tfw my body type doesn't exist

>>18194074
Same. I'm thin but not incredibly underweight like the skinny example implies. I am also not fat enough to be skinnyfat.

>>18193693
Fucking this, Opie. Listen to this guy. He's a CBT fag whereas I'm slightly more in the psychoanalysis camp, but CBT is perfect for your situation.

>>18194882
I'd be ottermode if I lost some bodyfat and spent all day working on my abs.

>>18195010
>He's a CBT fag
Is it wrong that I always think "cock and ball torture" instead of "cognitive behavioral therapy"?

>>18195274
Only if you think it's wrong senpai.

>>18195586
My the rapist was very confused when I showed up in a gimp suit and told her to step on me. Worst $200 I ever spent.