What the fuck is even happening anymore?

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I feel fucking lost, the path ahead beyond school seems so bleak. I feel like university has only cemented feelings of insecurity and incompetence within me.
What little plans I have had for after school was to get into entrepreneurship. perhaps run my own business and finally feel like I am handling my own destiny. but I feel like I dont know anything about that and I dont know how to build credentials to operate any sort of business.
I just feel lost... on what to do for the future in general.
(end)

On my current day to day I am in classes from 10am to 6 pm with just enough time to get some lunch or something
Each weeknight I am reading and working on assignments until I go to bed.
Friday and Saturdays I get some time to relax, but I feel like I never get to do all the things I wanted to, before I know it Sunday is here and I gotta prepare for next weeks classes.
I just feel mentally tired I suppose, my classes are all very demanding this semester...

Dear anon,

I'm not very familiar with posting on 4chan, but I was just about to post a similar post regarding uni.

I'm sorry you feel this way and that things turned out like they are. I don't have much advice to offer, but I can share my experience so far.

I am also a senior in unI but in the uk (by the sounds of it your are in the us or similar system). I love my dispcipline but hate my specific uni/department. I came to uni feeling like I was on top of the world, having grown up in an underdeveloped country. I lost many of the things I loved to do in life and the past three years have been a blur of panic, self doubt and lots of insecurity. I still perform well (top of class) till now. But I feel like I don't know anything and I don't know where to go from here. I am struggling so much to stay above water that I forgot to learn and love learning. I am trying my best not to go back home, because I'll never be able to esCape that nightmare. I really like it here but in 1 or 2 months I'll be forced to go home as they don't like to sponsor foreigners here no matter how decent they perform. Especially with the whole brexit thing.

I think you should push through your degree and try to do your best. Giving up may not set good perecedent for your future employment.

I feel like my mind is deteriorating as well. It's like my reading comprehension is going to shit. I find it hard to focus on readings and retain what they are trying to tell me. I think that's why I am feeling so dumb in these classes. I feel like I am losing my ability to focus and understand, and these article are long and complicated without this problem bogging me down. I feel paranoid at times like I am forming a brain tumor or something because I feel like the learning center of my mind is falling apart or getting too full...

>>18187239
Yes I feel like we are very similar.

coming form a low income household, sacrificing what you love to stay on track in university, the blur of panic, doubt. I too have good grades despite it all, but I feel like the fear of failure is what pushes me at this point. but my grades are starting to slip now that I am close to the finish line...
My family is expecting me to return home though after I graduate. after becoming a university educated man, my family acts like I am the shining beacon that will help lift up our struggling community and bring some prosperity and inspire more kids to pursuit college as well. I really want to be home though, be with my family and friends, but I feel like I wont be the great role model they think I will be, I feel like I may come home broken and eternally tired...

Good luck to you, Anon. I hope you can pull through.

>>18187268
Thx anon.

I have an admission to one of the best universities for postgraduate in US, albeit a Master of engineering ( 1 year proffessional degree) not MSc (research degree most people familiar with). The meng vs MSc decision was a stupid one I made when I was still in the peak of my depression, and I so wish I chose otherwise. I want to go and rediscover myself but it will be very costly, financially and mentally. I'm not sure I I'm prepared mentally or even academically, let alone with all the doubts in my head about my abilities and 'inflated grades'. I don't even know if it's even worth it from a career/education standpoint. It's a huge risk compared to continuing to an MEng at my university which hate but I am very fmailiar with.

>>18187268
Anon. If you have good grades and you think might graduate with good grades then see it through. For a long time my fear of failure pushed me to do well. And I long to return to the time where I got good grades fo being passionate.

Another piece of advice. Don't be discouraged from university. I as an individual approached university in a very bad way, opting to just do the necessary to get grades but not to acruelly learn and digest the information. Not to actually enjoy things beyond the disorganized mess that is my uni or the demoralizing, discouraged students around me who don't care about anything but money and jobs.

My supervisor once told me that and engineering degree in the uk is not about teaching you the theoretical and getting you into the subject but it was about soft skills and teaching you the skills to learn by yourself, university tries to teach you to love learning and inquisition.

Another very intelligent and well regarded professor told me it's not about the university but about the people and you in the end. And I truly wish I had known this before.