How to be there for the bf

Stop being a cunt and just listen
Same advice for literally anyone who's with a person going through shit
Shut your mouth and hug them, they'll either work it out themselves or not at all

>>18186550
eventually you will get tired of having to offer support to a male partner, because women generally are only interested in receiving support and prefer men with no problems or difficulties in life who are always confident and happy no matter what. so, sooner or later you will break up with him and try to find someone better at hiding their problems so you don't see them as weak. by the way cute cat.

>>18186590
I am listening. I would hug him, but as I said before we're ldr. I'm just not sure how to respond when he texts me telling me that he's in pain, I feel like a broken record that can only say I'm sorry every time he mentions it. It's either "I wish I could help you feel better", "I'm sorry you have to go through this", or just "I'm sorry". I don't know how to do a better job of comforting him from afar

>>18186550
Can't do much more then to sit this one out like a harsh winter month. Either he breaks or he actually looks past his problems and tries to get over it. Either way this is sort of a sit and wait situation. Either he fucks himself up beyond saving and you move on. Or you stay inside that rollercoaster untill he finally gets that being with you is still more important then acting miserable.

>>18186593
I'm sorry you feel that way about all women. We've been together over 6 years now and gone through some shit, I don't imagine I'd leave him just because he's opening up to me about a very serious, concerning issue.

>>18186603
Well like I completely understand why he talks about it so often and is still upset about it. He's been taking time off of work and school trying to go to doctor after doctor, only for them to schedule tests weeks later while his pain only gets worse. Then the test results come back with nothing, and his health insurance isn't great so he just basically wasted that money. I bet it's infuriating, frustrating, and downright terrifying not knowing what's wrong with you and worrying that permanent damage is happening, meanwhile the doctors just seem to twiddle their thumbs and steal his money.

>>18186614
Not trying to relate but i have severe memory loss issues. Not one neuroligist knew anything about my disorder. Untill you find that one doctor that fixes you. However the journeys costs money, depression en overall fear of never getting better. He's going into a deep dark pit. i hope your six years together are worth something because its gonna have to shine through during this process.

>>18186622
Memory loss issues sounds fucking awful. I'm glad you got that figured out

He's been having back pain and abdomen/groin pain for years now. First doctor said it was his balls, so he got surgery. Helped for a little bit, then it was back (but without the nut swelling so it was something else). Did an ultrasound on his nuts and got his prostate looked at, nothing. Did a CT scan, nothing. Did an endoscopy, nothing. Did a colonoscopy, showed he had internal hemorrhoids but that wouldn't be causing his back pain. Now we've been dealing with frustrations over his prescription not being available even though the doctor said it should be at walmart. We're also waiting on the colon biopsy results, which the doctors haven't said when they should come in. It's just been a lot of frustration because the pain's just been slowly getting worse. We're both worried it's cancer or something permanent.

>>18186635
Could be hernia or nerves being pressed down by the spine. No clue though im not a doctor i heard similar issues once and that was the cause. I hope he has some good painkillers, but back to you helping him i think its best for him to see you as a beacon where he can throw all this pain on. It sounds tough but it means he can burden someone else with it and maybe that relieves some stress. But for the pain only a cure can help. That or some hard ass morphine. Also cancer could be it but blood tests (which i hope he already did) would've given that away. Just try not seeing him as a helpless sack of pain. People who suffer from diseases hate it too see others act as if they need extra care. It makes them feel weak and inadequate. Also sidenote they never fixed the amnesia they just made the intervals of it happening less. Diseases suck ass.

>>18186647
Yeah I feel like cancer would've been one of the first things they ruled out, but they probably did the biopsy to check and make sure his colon cells aren't cancerous. The pain isn't excruciating yet, he can still walk and work and stuff, it's just a constant pain that sometimes gets worse, so understandably it dampens his mood almost as constantly. I feel like an asshole, but it does get a little depressing and frustrating when he brings it up so often, but that's just because I want to help him but I can't, and it's even more difficult having to comfort him via text rather than in person. But I feel like a jerk for even voicing those frustrations to you, he's in constant pain, the least I could do is let him vent his frustrations whenever he needs to. I just wish there was a better way to comfort him when I can't hug him or squeeze his hand encouragingly or anything

>>18186550
Dont bug him talking about it too much and dont pretend nothings wrong. If hes hospitalized keeping him company is the best most important support you can give.

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>>18186622
Are you sure? Maybe some of them knew about your disorder but you just don't remember?

>>18186658
Unfortunately there is no other way. And feeling like he's saying it too much is normal that's why my girl left me. So it's only normal to get sick of his constant whining. Either you stick up with that. Or you try to get over there to show support. I have no clue as to how hard that is for you but if its at all possible then do it. If not then only your words can still help him. Idk what you could do to help him other then that. Send nudes to him for all i care idk what would get a smile on his face. All i know is that having something like this is a huge burden that won't just pass quickly. If you're lucky he'll be fine in a month but in most cases its the beginning of a long road of pain. And to be honest be carefull people like that can leave huge emotional scars. In my experience i think you should consider the option of getting out when it's gonna reach its boiling point. Because when i went down i hurt a lot of people beyond redemption. So please be careful and good luck

>>18186687
Short term memory loss, long term is still going strong. I just occasionally don't remember half of my day. What people say and feel all goes down the drain on a regular basis.

>>18186694
I don't think it'll get to the point of where I leave him. We've already been through some shit together and come out stronger afterwards. We still have plenty of times where the conversation isn't about his health, so it's not like it's a constant stream of depressing topics. It's just frustrating seeing him have to go through this bullshit and not being able to help him as much as I'd like

>>18186707
Look up symptoms, call experts concult the internet. Show him that you can share a part of his burden. So that he atleast doesnt have to hear time and time again that they dont know what he has. My mother found a sort of cure that way. It took her more then 200 articles and alot of phonecalls but she did it. I suggest you fill in that role im sure he appreciates you helping him in other ways other then constantly saying "im so sorry this is happening to you" try giving him hope that's the only thing that really cures the mental part of the pain.