How to convince the wife to let me go?

>>18185013
Follow through on the practical end of the divorce. Move your shit out, change your phone number and start dating again. If she bothers you again over why you won't forgive her tell her she broke the fundamental thing to a relationship;trust. Even if you were to forgive her you'll always harbor that idea that if she's out of your sight she could be cheating again, which isn't healthy for the relationship.

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>>18185013
Damn.

Can't you just move out while still being married?

>>18185023
>>18185024

Sorry, writing this still pissed off so I forgot to put this in.

I moved out last week when I found out about it, temporarily back with my family, but even that's not a safe haven. I blocked her numbers, yes numbers she has used over a dozen different ones by now, I've switched to a new one, but no dice because someone (someone from my small friend group most likely) fucking leaked it to her, and not to mention I'm getting both letters and emails and gifts sent to me all the fucking time.

>>18185034
Holy shit, that's some high level harassment. Call the police and get a restraining order?

>>18185059

>Call the police and get a restraining order?

Hahahah, that's literally useless here. Even more so given the fact that she and her family are loaded. You can get away with murder if you got enough money.

>>18185034
Yeah you need another place that isn't your family home. You'll have to slog through it until you can find another place. As for your phone number look into a google voice number or burner phone and use that for business related stuff. Don't tell any friends you have that. As for FB and emails just let her tire herself out don't block her because that only gives her more reason to keep bothering you.

>>18185069

She's not going to stop. Ever. Changing places where I live, getting new phone numbers. None of that fucking matters when she won't let go. I know this woman. At least in this part, I hope, more than where her faithfulness is concerned. She won't give up. But I can't think of a way to convince her to let me go because I'm angry as hell and all I want to do is strangle her when I think of actually meeting her and I don't want her to see or know that, because she doesn't deserve to know how much this hurt me.

>>18185013
any nudes u have of her MUST be posted to 4chan or good fap material. and who knows, maybe one of us knows that whore and can be like "nice pussy i fapped to it bitch LOL"
if no nudes post w/e you have of her and we can all imagine her tits and blown out pussay

>>18185085

You have to be 18 to post here.

>>18185078
Change your identity and run away to Mexico.

>>18185090

I'm from Europe.

>>18185078
See your angry anon. The death of a relationship isn't anger its apathy/indifference. Speak your piece and move on if you keep acting like a scared child avoiding her she's going to keep pursuing you. You need to confront her and tell her there won't ever be a relationship because she broke the fundamental thing to it, trust. Without that there can be no relationship. It's time to move on and she doesn't want to accept that too bad because you are moving on with yours. She'll probably say you're just saying that, you don't mean it. Which you respond you don't give a fuck about her, she can see and fuck who ever she wants because it's not your business anymore. Really lay it on thick if you have to.

>>18185102

No shit I'm angry. This happened just last week.

I did have a confrontation with her. It didn't fucking work. It did nothing.

>>18185108
You can't be angry you really have to sell the apathy/ indifference. Talk to her like she's scum on the bottom of your shoes, you know really dehumanize her.

>>18185013
She doesn't fucking want you. This is more about someone telling her no and she doesn't take no for an answer. Hold firm and she'll find some other sad sap to bother. Hopefully the guy she cheated with wants her.

>>18185129

She cheated with a girl.

>>18185013
I have no better advice than
>ignore her for few months until she gets bored with it eventually

But do tell me, how you managed to find out she is cheating? Cause if she truly cared about you, she would at least make the affair top secret from you.

I am just curious anon.

>>18185142

Got out of work earlier, went to pick her up from her friend's, let myself in and saw them making out.

>>18185135
Does her family know that?

>>18185154

Yes. They don't give a shit, from what I'm hearing. I mean, they're not being callous about it, they didn't just say "Take it like a man" or something as ludicrous as that. She's trying to show she's remorseful, and they're supporting her in that. But the thing is that I don't really care if she is remorseful or not. I don't want to be married to a cheater.

>>18185063
At least make the complaint to the authorities, that way they (and you) will have a running record of her harrassment. Might come in handy for the divorce court later. If they do nothing have you thought of telling of her harrassment to the newspapers?

Maybe try /r/legaladvice? I know, I know, >reddit, but they're usually pretty realistic and no-nonsense by the site's standard.

Anyway, the best you can do is see a lawyer once to advise you on what to do to mitigate the damages. But sounds like without the money to fight you won't have many options.

>>18185095
If you're in the EU, find a job in another country, pack your shit and leave.

You could also call her off on how pathetic she's being.

She's rich, I'd say stay with her only for the money

>>18185187

It literally won't matter, but what the hell, not like I got anything to lose.

>If they do nothing have you thought of telling of her harrassment to the newspapers?

And ruin my life in the process as well? I mean, you do realize that my name would get out there as well, and unlike her I don't have piles of money to throw at the problem.

>>18185189

There's nothing legal-wise I can do. That's why I'm asking what I myself could do or say or how to act to let her let me go.

>>18185191

She has enough money she can follow me around, without any hindrance to her. Whereas I would have to find a job, find a place of my own, not to mention know the language.

>>18185201

Yeah, well, I don't care for being cheated on, and just because you'd be someone's cuckold for the right price doesn't mean someone else would too.

>>18185255
So you want ideas? You know her well, what can make her stop? Showing her how pathetic/childish she's being? You finding someone else? (or you're afraid she might take advantage of it?)
She seems fairly unreasonable, what made you marry her lol

>>18185262

I thought I knew her fairly well, but then I got cheated on, so what the fuck do I know? Also, I'm still mighty ticked off about everything and the solutions that come to my mind tend to be of the final kind.

>>18185266
Yeah but you still lived with her for a while, you know what can hurt her, right? Was she always this persistent?

You could also propose to come back with her at the condition of having a threesome with that girl. And then, you ghost her. And you redo it again later. And again. Until she gets bored of this.

>>18185276

>Was she always this persistent?

Yes, that's how we even got together in the first place. I was wary about the financial differences between us. I'm very much middle class, average income, whereas she's the kind of filthy rich where no one in her family needs to work a single day in their life. She didn't really give a shit about that, so she went after me with full force.

>You could also propose to come back with her at the condition of having a threesome with that girl.

That's fucking horrific and very unlikely to happen. I'd like to get out of this with my soul untainted, so to speak.

Still, thanks for trying to help.

>>18185296
Ask her what is she going to win if she gets back with you. A resentful husband that will hate your guts isn't something she'd want to spend her whole life with. Maybe help her find a hobby, or make her see a therapist for her issue (cuz that's a pretty big one)

>>18185307

She promises to be faithful. She offered to sign some kind of postnup agreement, but honestly if you have to rely on some kind of punishment clause to make your wife stay loyal to you, it's kind of buggered beyond repair.

On some level, I don't doubt she loves me. Or at least misses what we had together before, which I think was a very loving and caring relationship. Unless she was faking it 100% of the time.

Ultimately, she's told me she'll do whatever it takes, no matter what, to make us be together again and happy.

On some fucked up level, I'd want that. I'd want not to have this shit all over our marriage. But it's there and it's not going to go away just because she suddenly feels remorse about what happened. And I'm not the kind of person who forgets something like this.

She knows this. I've told her as much. But she's still fucking convinced she can make it all better.

>>18185319

If she loves you than how come did she cheat on you?
I'd suggest to making
see a therapist about her weird behavior. She needs to undertake that this shit isn't acceptable. And betrayal is No-No for you. That she's regretting the consequences of the act, not the cheating in itself.

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>>18185135
This a girl you knew or something?

>>18185374

I don't know. Do you think actual therapy could work? If I went to her and asked for that shit, and asked for us to attend it together (because I sincerely doubt she'd do it on her own)... holy fuck, I have no idea if it will work, but it's either giving something like this a try or just resigning myself to the fact that I'll never be out of her reach.

>>18185389

One of her friends. My wife says the girl was crushing on her for a long time, but sort of kept her feelings buried away and they had only done something together that day. Honestly though, I call bullshit. What are the fucking chances of me coming across them as they're making out for the very first time?

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>>18185088
not really

>>18185394
I agree, sounds like bullshit.

But imo, woman-woman adultery isn't the same as woman-man.
Are there any other factors in this or do you just see it as the same- not so much physically-based but romantic/emotional cheating?

>>18185407

I don't really care whether it's a man or a woman she cheated with. Cheating is cheating. In fact, in some way you could construe that her cheating on me with a woman was way worse, because there is literally no way I could actually top that or compete with that.

>>18185013
The French Foreign Legion.
Dissapear

>>18185394
>My wife says the girl was crushing on her for a long time, but sort of kept her feelings buried away and they had only done something together that day.

Yep that's a load of crap. I got cheated on 10 months ago too anon. It gets better. Talk to her family if you have to. That you never want to see their cunt-daughter again in your life and that you'll call the police on her ass if she continues the harassment. Doesn't matter that they are rich and calling the police does nothing, it's about the statement. They think she can conquer you again like in a tele novela, you tell them no. If they respect you they'll probably listen.

>>18185411
..so hypothetically speaking, you would have preferred for her to...
Nah anon I don't see it.

Same for competition.
If it's just physical, it's worse for hetero shit since you /can/ compete. If the interloper were a man, since you /can/ compete it would follow that you failed the competition.
Not so with women, since they're in a different bracket.


Tell me to fuck off if I offend, I feel I'm being inappropriate with the frankness here.

>>18185439
Not OP, but if I were him I'd find it worst. Because no matter how hard you try, you can't compete with her, she's out of his league. If she wants a lesbian experience, then you're inadequate.
Also, how will it work out? You'll be suspicious not only after her meeting her male friends but also their female counterpart.

>>18185458
Frankly I'd want to know/watch.
No penis, no dissolved marriage, no problem.

And the idea of competing with/'top-ing' an unwelcome interloper seems ridiculous. I wouldn't give a shit about doing better than them when it comes to pleasing the person who just cheated on me, I'd just fuckoff like OP's trying to do.

But for 'a lesbian experience', you/I are not 'inadequate', just not qualified.

what country are you in?

>>18185479

Don't listen to cuckolds OP, like this one. They're screwy in the head.

>>18185407
Just because the idea of lesbian bullshit gets your dick hard, doesn't make it any less adultery than cheating with a man. It's cheating plain and simple and anyone with an ounce of self respect wouldn't stand for it.

OP is doing the right thing. All he needs now is the right set of moves to end it.

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>>18185691

It's woman on woman, it doesn't count as adultery in my cis-male mind. Still, I'd be mad too if I didn't know or give my consent.

>>18185439

>..so hypothetically speaking, you would have preferred for her to...

I would have preferred for her not to cheat on me at all.

The point is, I don't give a damn if it's a man, woman, if it's online, emotional or physical, cheating is cheating. There is no such thing as a lesser degree of cheating with me, because every single example of it demolishes trust between people.

>>18185747
>>18185479

Yeah, I couldn't do that. I'm not interested in lesbian shit, nor am I into sharing my partner, or being shared myself. It literally disgusts me.

>>18185013
have you tried killing her?

>>18185034
lolololol see sucked off one of your friends for the number lmao what a whore

>>18185928

You have to be 18 to post here.

>>18185691
alpha as fuck

>>18185747
Your opinion and the facts are at odds. You can choose how your retarded mind will react to the news of being cheated on but you can't change the fact that it's cheating and there's no definition anywhere for different levels of cheating. Your opinion of it only matters to you.

Do you have any money saved up? Can you take a few weeks off from work? If so I suggest you just have a vacation, the longer the better. Somewhere relatively far away from your home, somewhere you could keep your phone off and leave all your trouble behind, preferably somewhere quiet and peaceful, not some place full of party people.

I know it doesn't exactly solve the problem, but it will give you some time to relax and get over it, it sounds like you need it. It will also give her some time where she can't interact with you in any way, maybe it will help. Also tell your family and friends to tell her that you moved somewhere else to get away from her. If you don't trust them to lie for you tell them that you're moving away. If she thinks you're gone for good and she can't find you she might finally see it as over and get over you. There's a low chance of this working out, but if you're going to get a vacation might as well try it.

Now, if you can't do that, or if there's no difference when you come back home you should ignore her completely. Don't respond to any of her emails or calls or whatever, not even to tell her to leave you alone. Don't acknowledge her in any way. Act like she doesn't exist. This won't make her stop harassing you instantly, but if you have no legal options it's the only thing you can do. She sounds like she's deeply obsessed with you and the only way to stop it is to remove all contact between the 2 of you, just like the only way to cure a meth addict is to keep him away from meth. You can't really prevent all contact, but you can minimize it and at this point I think it's the best course of action.

I forgot to mention, you should try to reason with her family. You probably can't convince her of anything, but if you explain to her parents that there's no way in hell you're getting back with her, that her obsessing over you will only bring her misery and that she needs to get over you they might listen to you.

>>18185013
Let her read your post.

>>18185034
Dude just keep ignoring her. She will get the clue eventually. Fuck the attorney just wait and pay for one when shes ready to sign.

>>18185159
Good deal. Stay strong and dont ever take her back.

>>18186023
R.I.P. OP

>>18185135
Fuck both of them litterally

>>18185266
Well dont final yourself... You didnt cheat.

Just tell her the truth nigga.

>>18185013
my step dad tried to cheat on my mom with her step-daughter from a prior marriage.

She initiated a divorce.

He lost the case; because he promised her that she would never have to work a day again in her life if she married him, she left her career as a mid-level executive. So, he has to pay a comparatively modest alimony to supplement her income because she will never be able to attain her previous pay grade with the time she has left before retirement.

He has been appealing and continuing the case for ten years now, because he knows that she has to pay for a lawyer and he can just represent himself.

Good luck, OP.

>>18186117
I forgot to mention a crucial detail; he's a lawyer.

>>18185013
You don't need a lawyer to tell you that you are being personally harassed and having your rights under the Constitution being violated.

You can threaten to sue her

See kids, this is why you never marry someone out of your economic bracket. They're never worth the possible troubles.

>>18185479
>Frankly I'd want to know/watch.
>Because I think life works like a porn

You stupid, stupid, literal cuckold. If your hypothetical wife wanted you involved, she would have told you to begin with, not go behind your back.

This is why you are going to die alone.

You could take her back and fuck her best friend. Spend her money on hookers and strippers. W/e, just be a shit and shell dump you.

>>18185108
I'm surprised she hasn't tried blackmail then. Be careful, OP. If she will truly stop at nothing, I wouldn't put it past her to claim abuse, assault, or rape. If I were you I'd do what >>18185059 said and get it on the record that she's nuts. If you draw first blood it'll look less credible if she moves past denial into the anger stage and tries to wreck your shit.

Protect yourself.

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>>18185013
Country?

>>18185013
Bullshiiiiiiiiit! I highly doubt this dumb whore is filthy rich and neither is her poor family. In fact she's probably a severely ugly shit stain and you ultra poor. Fuck off pheasant.

>>18187044
You probably mean to say peasant.

Demand 100k

Fuck off to somewhere else.

>>18185013
Well shit that's certainly a problem. Do you know for certain she cheated? If so you're doing good cutting her out of your life. This sucks but it's just something you'll just have to weather. Good luck OP.

>>18186688
>if she moves past denial into the anger stage and tries to wreck your shit.
>Protect yourself.

Fucking this. If she is as rich as you claim, she has the means but she just currently lacks the motivation. You don't want to be caught with your pants down when that happens - document everything. As persistent/psycho as she is, she is probably one of those types who cannot accept that rejection or denial from the universe. She will turn on you and make your life a living hell just to demonstrate to herself and the world that YOU were the one who is to blame for all of this.

>>18185135
That doesn't even really count as cheating imo. Just insist on disclosure in the future and see if you like threesomes. Honestly you're being stupid. You have a rich wife who happens to like other women sometimes. Like half of women like women sometimes; probably related to our species history of men having multiple wives and leaving them alone together for too long while away fighting wars and sailing ships and such. She still wants you back so just use the situation to demand full disclosure of this instance and any desired future temptations and make it clear to her that if she leaves anything out you are gone. Easy enough.

>>18186302
A moderately rich and extremely intelligent girl had a crush on me for nearly a year in college. We could talk for hours, too. But we weren't a good physical match-- she was somewhat larger than me. C'est la vie.

>>18185013
Set things up(with the rat amongst your friends) so she knows that youre in a public place at some time, have her see you with a nice girl in a romantic siruation

>>18187857

>has intimate physical/emotional relations with someone else behind your back
>doesn't count as cheating

What?

>Honestly you're being stupid.

Because you have fetish for getting cheated on?

>>18187857
you are retarded
you aware that 2 women going at eachother doesnt miss a dick right
in this scenario
the wife sneak out to lick a cunt instead of sucking hubbies dick

grow up or leave if you are underage

>>18186688
So much this

>>18185108
Its been a week and your concered that they are stalling the divorce?

Give her at least a month. She'll come to accept the situation as long as your not feeding her attention.

>>18185013
>So I'm here because I have no fucking clue how to convince this cunt to let me go. I just want to move on with my life. I just want to live again, I just want to be free from this shitpile. I can't even heal properly because there's not a single day that passes where she hasn't contacted me in some way.

Go after the money.

Aim to get the prenup thrown out.
This is your leverage.

Furthermore, if they think you are a gold-digger they'll be more inclined to make some settlement agreement to be rid of you.

Asking nicely won't work.

I would be equally horrified at the fact that she cheated if I were in your shoes, but I differ from you in one way, though: while I would feel snubbed at the fact that she went behind your back, the fact that she cheated with a woman would make the marriage reconcilable. I personally feel so innately convinced that what two women do together and call 'sex' isn't the same as what a man and a woman do. If my wife cheated on me with a man, it would be over. If it were a woman, there would be room to talk, because, from my perspective, it's not real.

Maybe I'm weird, but so long as she agrees to not breach trust, and so long as she hasn't cheated with other guys, I'd be able to make it work.

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You're such a big fucking cuck m8, you don't even realise it. With a girl?!

>>18189470
>this turns women on

>>18185013
Cant you get new contact information if you want to break it off this badly?

New phone number, email adress, real adress and all that?

>>18185965
You're right- my opinion of it only matters to me. And is the only thing that matters to me.
Same for OP.
All we can do is share our opinions.

>>18186644
That's why you talk about it early on, anon.
Some people are ok with it.
Not every stable, healthy relationship is traditional.

>>18189453
You need to leave. All this lesbian loving samefagging is not funny. You are legit giving OP garbage advice because you are thinking with your dick as if cheating has different levels of betrayal.

Fuck off.

>>18188184
>muh lost dick-sucks
Someone's applying flawed economic theory where it doesn't belong.

>>18189662
That anon didn't even say he was interested in being a part or letting it continue.
Just said he could reconcile in OP's situation, and explained why.
Yet you seem awfully upset about it, almost as if you've got some /pol/itical objections to it, hmmm