how to handle loss of my child

I feel like I let him down. I didn't do enough to baby proof the house. I should have brought him with me to work that day. My coworkers had been begging me to bring him in. My wife even asked me to bring him that day but I took it lightheartedly knowing it was going to be a busy workday and not an ideal day to bring my boy to work. Now I wish I had. I'm so upset with my wife. I needed her to be there for my boy. She knew how much he meant to me. How can I forgive such irresponsibility? She's pregnant and now I'm so scared for my human baby coming in a few months.

Humphrey was an amazing baby. He'd do this bunny hopping motion when chasing me around the living room. I bought him a bacon play toy that he loved. It was adorable seeing my boy chew on his bacon. I buried him with it. My home doesn't feel like a home anymore. I feel so alone and empty when I'm home now. I find excuses to just get away just so I'm not home. Im mad at myself. Why did I choose a home with a pool? Had I bought someplace else I might still have my baby. I can't sleep. I've been away for 72 hours now. I want to wake up from this nightmare. I want my baby. How do I forgive my wife? How do I move on when my child was ripped from me so early? I'm a complete wreck. You were everything I had wanted and more. I was a daddy, now I'm just miserable

>Habit of overeating til his tummy ballooned.
This is not safe, at all. I've seen ruptured lining and it isn't pretty How can you belittle your wife when you do something equally irresponsible and think it cute, and it might have contributed to your own dog's death.
http://www.greenbrier-emergency.com/food-bloat-overeating-in-dogs/
http://www.mvtimes.com/2011/10/05/overeating-can-make-dogs-very-sick-even-kill-them-7852/

A large majority of English bulldogs just drop dead anyways. I worked for a vet for 7 years and this happened at least 4 times to their devastated owners. Are you sure he drowned?

It was to the point where we had pugs with less genetic issues than English Bulldogs. It is hitting a critical point to where I'd invest in pretty much any other breed until breeders get their shit together.

Are you sure he drowned and didn't just drop dead and fall in the pool? Their average life span is 6 years, less than an Irish Wolfhound.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/beloved-dog-breed-may-disappear-due-to-health-problems/
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Dogs/My-Bulldog-died-suddenly--Was-fine-and-then-within-a-minute--dead/show/721645

>>18183011
I made the mistake once. When I realized he was overeating prone I moved onto smaller controlled portions. I found his big belly to be cute but that happened once and never again.

He was found in the pool. He had been out there alone for 45 minutes alone in southern Texas weather. This is something her and I had talked about constantly - always supervise him outside and especially be careful when it's hot outside. I thought that she understood that. Hell.. in the weekends when I was home during the say she didn't leave him outside in the hot. She waited to do it when I wasn't home. I'm far from perfect but I tried to be a good daddy. I don't think she was ready to be a good mommy though hence my dog drowned. That would not have happened under my supervision. I fear for my human baby dye in a few months.

*my human baby boy in a few nonths

>>18183038
Did you get a necropsy where it said it drowned?

I have a friend with a 14 wk old border collie lab aussie mix that can be left unattended in the backyard with a pool and doesn't drown itself. This is in South Alabama on the Gulf Coast.

Her being inconsistent and this being the only time she let it out unattended, could it have dropped dead and she panicked and said it was found in the pool, or tossed it in the pool.

Does she feel any guilt? If so, she is probably doubting her own responsibility as a mother, seeing as you got so attached to this dog in just two weeks. Emphasize how attached you were and this wasn't even your child.

Taking devil's advocate side with your wife, because I don't know if she was intentionally malicious or not. How far along is she?

>>18183065
She's 8 weeks along. I know she didn't have malicious intent and that she feels guilty. She's seen me hysterical and at my lowest point for several days now. I know that she feels bad but I'm having trouble forgiving this as simply an irresponsible accident. Irresponsible accidents are like oops I left a window open, not oops I let your baby boy drown. She loved the puppy but she didn't have the same bond with him that I did. I'm hurting. I miss my boy. I can't have her making the same fuck ups with my human child

>>18183080
So what advice do you want?

Divorce her, encourage her to abort?

Because you are so upset you're awake 72 hrs and crying most of that time, I'd suggest therapy, maybe even couples therapy. Especially because you're so distraught over 2 weeks to a puppy, it would be good for both of you.

>>18183024
Nigger you said it was "a habit" and you "always worried" about it, that's not fucking once. Don't change your story because someone someone called you out on being a bad pet owner.

>>18182954
>how to handle loss of my child
>English bulldog

seriously, get your head out of your ass

>>18183100
Fuck you whitey. My puppy had a bad habit that I kept controlled. Get your perfect ass outta here.

>>18183105
He was a child to me. >>18183105

>>18183115
didn't it cross your mind that you 're being insolent to people who actually lost their children?

>>18183094
I think in time I'll forgive her though trusting her will be hard. I'm going to start working from home to be sure my pets/ kids are okay. How long should I wait before i try again with another puppy?

>>18183112
Seriously you said you liked watching it and "always worried" and that his stomach would balloon. That isn't normal.

Also, the title of your post is misleading to those who have lost their own children.

Also, please tell me you only owned this pup two weeks or less if it died at 10wks. If not, then it came from an irresponsible breeder and likely dropped dead and fell into the pool.

>>18183120
Not with a kid on the way, it is fucking horrible to have a new puppy and child.

The fact you're already looking for a replacement bulldog is kinda suspicious in your attachment to the original one.

This reeks of a mental illness

>>18183126
Family keeps telling me that bringing home another might help me get through the pain of Humphrey. I don't want to replace or forget about him.

>>18183134
You aren't helping >>18183134

>>18183137
Are you fucking serious right now? No, that is so irresponsible as a parent and pet owner.
http://www.pet-loss.net/newpet.shtml
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/07/kids_and_dogs_if_you_re_having_a_baby_do_not_get_a_puppy.html

>>18183122
Like I said I always worried about his overeating habit. That in no way says "Yo I let my dog eat unhealthy because it's cute." The moment I realized he had this bad habit I controlled it like a father should do. My baby died in my pool not in the bathroom after eating.

We had brought him home 3/11. He would have been 11 weeks this week.

>>18183143
Then I won't fucking get one. That's why I was asking. I was getting advice to get another puppy and I knew I wasn't ready for that.

>>18183150
So you brought home a 6 week old puppy, maybe 7. Ahahaha, choose a responsible breeder next time. I'm sure it just dropped dead and fell in the pool now.

This isn't your baby. Logic like that is how actual children get hurt from family dogs.

http://www.mnn.com/family/pets/stories/5-ways-treating-your-dog-like-human-can-backfire
>>18183154
The fact you immediately thought to get a new one is why I recommend couples therapy. And that was your family's first response is also disturbing.

No wonder I had to help put so many perfectly good pets to sleep when I volunteered at an animal shelter during university. Lots were left by owners that were like "oh, he is too old." or "we had our first baby and it was too hard."

>>18183167
Decided I'm going to wait until the baby is 2 before we bring another puppy into our lives. I'm going to miss Humphrey something awful because he was my baby and made me feel like a daddy, but I'm going to try to make this a growing experience for my marriage. Losing my boy has been heartbreaking but I decided I'm going to build a fence around the pool to help prepare for the human baby. I'm going to miss him sleeping on my pillow though

Thank you for those that have me helpful advice. Fuck you to those that attacked me while I'm grieving

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>>18182954
all it takes is 9months and a signed consent form and maybe some alcohol if youre feeling unsure but making babies is an ez risk men such as urself are willing to take 99% of the time when deciding to have sex or not

>>18182954
Fucking animal lovers are the weirdest people

I remember when bait threads used to have a modicum of effort.

Try again next week, maybe I won't call you out on your ass next time.

The way you talk about your dog makes you sound like you loved it more than your potential future child. Has your wife confronted you about this?