Should I break up?

bumping for replies, please help me

>>18182476

Yes, you should absolutely break up.

This isn't even really worth spending a bunch of my time on, but this guy is holding your life back, and his own. He needs a swift kick to the ass, not a mom. You're being held hostage by what you're worried he's going to do, not because of love.

You don't even have similar life values, he doesn't know what he wants out life, and you clearly have real, tangible goals.

if you can get someone better then you should hurry up and bump your lazy piece of shit bf

if he kills himself it's his decision, you're not responsible for it

Quit getting pimped out. Nut up and move on bitch.

Pity and rescue relationshits are not the way, you will find yourself a sorry sucker at the end, trust me.

>>18182506
>>18182512
I'm so scared, I don't want him to kill himself. Also, our group of friends are all the same people, and I don't know how they would react to us breaking up, especially if he did something drastic.

I want him to get his shit together, but it just isn't happening. I tried an ultimatum a few months ago (exercise, work more, and create goals for yourself, or I'm breaking up) but he's done basically nothing.

This is so painful.

>>18182522
Checked, and yeah, I think you have the right idea.

>>18182528
I don't want him to kill himself though

>>18182531

so ruin your life and stay with him until death

at least he won't kill himself, who cares about you not having kids or being happy

>>18182531
What if he demands a threesome or else he kills himself?

Or you may wait to start cheating since he has no value beyond "not killing himself" right now.

>>18182540
>>18182543

God, I have no idea what I'm doing

The way you anons are spitting the truth is so fucking painful, but so true

I feel like I've wasted so much time

>>18182476
Some guys need source of motivation. You can try to force him to get better, but i doubt it will work. You got into this mess yourself.

Also staying in relationship just for the sake of relationship is a good way how to mentally break up in the long run.

And realize that people who use suicide as blackmailing are always bluffing.

I bet you are nice hardworking qtie (who even wants children and stuff aka highly valuable female these days) and you stay with fat useless slob. I would date you asap provided we could actually meet.

>>18182549
You didnt wasted time, you used this time to get valuable life lesson:
>dont date fat useless lazy guys

:-D

>>18182549
Truth is harsh I know. But you have to choose between his life or yours. U got it simple. If u stay with him, you will feel the same. If u break up you might find someone new or move on to better things. Always remember... People don't change

>>18182553
He has never "threatened" suicide in the context of a violent argument, but rather talks about how he is depressed sometimes, and how I am the *only* person that makes him happy. That's why I'm afraid he will commit.

I'm not interested in seeing anyone for the sake of seeing someone. We felt a romantic connection, like best friends, the honeymoon phase came and went, and now I'm starting to grasp how his apathy and inability to take care of himself is fucking me over, and it's making me fall out of love with him.

Sorry, not interested.

>>18182583
Thanks.

>>18182476

Tell him how you feel, the areas in which you would like him to improve and ask if he thinks there are any areas in which you could improve?

Decide on a rough time frame to work on these issues.

If, at the end of the time frame, there has been no improvement at all, end the relationship and find someone who holds similar values and aspirations to you.

>>18182588
>Sorry, not interested.
Dammit, she is so nice she refused me politely even on 4chan.

Godspeed OP and good luck, you are too good even for me :-D

After breakup he might kill himself, or he might actually start working on himself since he will be out of his comfort zone. Sometimes it's the only way to get guys into better shape.

>>18182601
I tried this once before, but I suppose I could try it one more time. What's a few more months atop of a 4.5 year period?

>>18182602
Common courtesy goes a long way. Good day to you too, anon.

>>18182606
I hope it's the latter... then maybe we could try again. I don't want to give up.

>>18182614

You have to realise that if he committed suicide, it's not your fault. You didn't tell him to. You didn't push him, you didn't egg him on. It's his choice what to do with his life, as much as it may hurt and terrify you. You are entitled to chose what is best for you. Be selfish with your life.

Putting yourself first doesn't make you a bad person. Putting yourself first and stomping on others in the process does. If you think it would be best if you tried a little more to help him, so be it. But you can't help people who aren't willing to help themselves.

As before, move on. Stop wasting daylight hours on here or him waiting for change.... make it yourself. The fucking end.

>>18182531
>ultimatum
Bad idea.
Now you have to break up.