Relationship Advice

Jesus buy your GF a movie. Gas money, rent, food, etc I can understand your point but this? Every now and then you have to show her you still want her as much as you did when you started dating

>>18180927
I second this.

>>18180927
The thing is that I never said that I wouldn't. She just flew off the handle because I hesitated, and said that it would have to be a movie that I'd want to see. It's not like I never buy things for her, but I do that when I want to. I find it nearly rude that she would ask me to pay, when she has the means to do it herself. Her asking, basically is saying that she would rather the money come out of my savings than hers. I'm all for buying nice things for each other once in a while, it's just the fact that she asked for me to pay, rather than the act in paying for her itself.

>>18180980
>She just flew off the handle because I hesitated, and said that it would have to be a movie that I'd want to see.
Why would she want to see a movie with you if she doesn't get a say in what you're going to watch? That was kind of shitty, and she should have an equal amount of say because you were offering in the first place. It's like having a really beautiful present, but when you finally unwrap it, there's a turd inside. Next time, don't offer. Say, "I'm going to go see ___. I'll pay for your ticket if you want to come."

>I've been with my girlfriend for about 3.5 years and lived with her for about 2 of those years
This is where you went wrong

>>18180990
I can understand that, and if I could go back in time in order to avoid all of this nonsensical bullshit, I would have just agreed and bought her ticket.

Normally I wouldn't mind what we watch, but being in an Australian capital city, where this kind of shit is absurdly expensive, I'd rather it be something that both of us are keen to see, rather than the cheesy rom-com that she'd usually prefer.

Do you think that her reaction was a normal one for a girl? To shout, cry, etc. due to me simply hesitating to pay for her entry? I'm honestly curious, as this has been the only relationship of my adult life.

>>18180998
But she talked me into it with titties and wristies

>>18181016
She may feel that you offered her a present that then turned out to have strings attached.

On the other hand very uncouth to ask someone to pay for you. It's just vulgar.

>>18181034
But I didn't offer a present. She asked for a present. I'm more than willing to buy a gift for my girlfriend, but I will do so when I want to. To me, there's something unsettling about her asking me to spend my money on her.

>>18181062
You brought up the movie thing so in her head she may well feel you offered. Woman logic is like a weasel up your trousers, slithering fur 'til there is teeth in your bollocks.

Try to remember in her head she is probably being perfectly rational and justified.

Agree that her asking you to spend money on her is wrong though.

>>18181075
'Strewth. It seems like one thing after another that makes me wish I was gay. Men are all about just wanting to be happy, rather than fight over pointless bullshit.

Well I'm glad that I'm probably not wrong in that regard. Thanks for the advice; she gets home from work in the next few minutes so I'll try to smooth things over. Think I've learned that next time, I'll just pay for the ticket, even though it shits me to tears. I'm such a doormat.

>>18181108
Or just give an outright "No" it freaks girls out the first time but after a while they learn to accept no as an answer or they fuck off into the sunset.

>>18181121
I have a strong feeling that she'll be fucking off into the sunset in the next couple of months anyway. Been fighting way too much. I'd probably rather just be alone than have to put up with a child for the 3-4 days every week that we have an argument over the same old petty shit that I have no interest in fighting over.

>>18181164
Just make sure she's being a bitch because of you and her not working and she's not just depressed, pregnant, has a massive tumour etc

>>18181181
She's been like this for about a year and a half. I hope there hasn't been a baby in there for that long. She has anxiety which does contribute to it a fair bit I think. She just never lets a single thing go, and I can't live like that for the rest of my life

>>18181016
>Do you think that her reaction was a normal one for a girl? To shout, cry, etc. due to me simply hesitating to pay for her entry?
Personally, no, but I've never been overly emotional--I've been told that I have a 'male brain.' On the rare occasion when I'm feeling hormonal, I have the emotional maturity to keep my attitude in check because that's not a free pass to treat others like garbage. A lot of young girls learn to be manipulative in that way, and until people stop putting up with it, they will continue with that type of behavior. Her being upset is understandable. But her being upset to the point where she cries, screams, and gives you the cold shoulder until you give into her wants and desires? That's not healthy.

>>18181193
I definitely agree. I don't mind that she speaks when something upsets her, it's more the way that she goes about it, and how it drags on. But once she hasn't talked to me for a couple of days, it gets to the point where I'd just rather apologise for something that I'm not sorry for than continue being miserable together.

>>18181205
>But once she hasn't talked to me for a couple of days, it gets to the point where I'd just rather apologise for something that I'm not sorry for than continue being miserable together.
Unfortunately, you're only reinforcing bad behavior. She's learning that she can easily punish you by withholding affection. Can you really see yourself being happy with someone like this for many years? What are you going to do if kids become involved? Because her behavior isn't going to change once she becomes a mom. She's just going to find new and interesting ways to harm you and your children.

>>18181212
No, I can't. And I've been putting serious consideration into breaking up with her for this same reason. Do you think it's possible to change someone's behavior so drastically, or would I just be better off letting it be someone else's problem?

>>18181234
>Do you think it's possible to change someone's behavior so drastically, or would I just be better off letting it be someone else's problem?
Only if you can get her into therapy. But this means that she also has to admit that her behavior is a problem. Wanting to help her is admirable, but she has to put in the work. If you decide to have this conversation with her, and she tries to turn the situation around on you (making you out to be crazy, or the bad guy) then it's best if you just cut your losses.

>>18180927
>Every now and then you have to show her you still want her as much as you did when you started dating

So he has to buy her things she can easily buy herself? Because money is the only thing he brings to their relationship, right? You do know that's basically prostitution? That she wants him to pay because she's gracious enough to allow access to her cunt?

I saw a video once of some guy giving a relationship seminar to the usual room full of clueless cunts. The women were listening to him because he was young, handsome, successful, etc.

One mercenary bitch got up and asked how long into a relationship should it be when the man in starts paying for everything. She "explained" that she'd been okay with going dutch, paying for the occasional meal, picking up tickets, and so forth for the first few months but now that they'd been dating for 4 months, she felt he should start paying for everything. All the cunts around her started nodding their heads in agreement.

The speaker was incredulous and wisely paused to get his shit together rather than call them all out on their whorish behavior. He explained that by refusing to pay their fair share that women were telling their boyfriends that their time was more important than his time. That the man had to PAY to be with them.

All the cunts nodded as if they understood, but you know none of them put his advice in practice.

What the OP should do is break up with her and move out because all he's nothing more than an ATM to her. She's already got him convinced that their problems are "usually partly my fault" and you can be sure she's working on some shenanigan to lock him down most likely with a baby.

Get out while you can OP. Find an adult to date. You can identify her by whether she treats you like an adult or not. Good luck>

>>18181253
It's tough for me to imagine her admitting that her behavior is a problem. I feel like she's not going to admit that until she's been in a few more relationships (this is the first time either of us have been in a real relationship) and realises that she has a problem rather than everyone else. Obviously I love her, and breaking up would really suck, but I'm not sure that I can see much of a future there anymore.

>>18181267
She's far from thinking that I'm at ATM to her, we usually pay 50/50 on things, but I've recently got a pretty well paying job after studying, and she expects me to put in more. She didn't seem to have much sympathy for me when I was studying and she had more money than me, which is frustrating. Especially because I could understand that she didn't want to spend her money on me. I would have felt weird to ask her to in the first place. I think I'll have a chat with her about it and maybe take your advice in a few months if nothing changes.

>>18181283
>She's far from thinking that I'm at ATM to her, >she expects me to put in more.

Can you see the dichotomy in those two statements?

>She didn't seem to have much sympathy for me when I was studying

But she's going to listen to you now?

>she had more money than me, which is frustrating. Especially because I could understand that she didn't want to spend her money on me.

So when she was flush, she didn't spend on you but now that you're flush you're supposed to spend on her? Does that seem fair to you?

>I would have felt weird to ask her to in the first place.

Because she trained you not to ask.

>I think I'll have a chat with her about it

Chat with her about it? The woman you cannot "imagine her admitting that her behavior is a problem."? Does that seem sensible to you?

>maybe take your advice in a few months if nothing changes.

Months? Sooner is better in this case. If you insist on waiting to break up with her, guard your condoms both before and after you use them. Sperm jacking is REAL.

Good luck.

>>18181298
I perceived "nothing more than an ATM" with a stronger meaning than "putting in a bit more." Valid point though.

I don't think she's going to listen to me now, but we've known each other for a long time, breaking up with her isn't a decision that I'm going to take lightly.

Hah, she may be wrong in this case, but I don't think she's the sperm jacking type. Thanks for the advice though.

>>18181267

I'm not disagreeing with you at all, but I have a question anon. Do you have a partner at the moment?

>>18181388
>Do you have a partner at the moment?

I'm a widower and you would not believe the women who made a run at me before they were done filling in the grave. Some were my late wife's "friends" too.