My fiance is becoming authoritarian

>>18177650
Talk to him seriously.
If he insists, break the engagement and leave him.

>>18177650
Good lord, being engaged to a slut sounds super stressful.

>>18177658
I have talked to him seriously, he just gets angry and refuses to speak to me.

>>18177661
I'm not a slut. He's the first and only man I've ever slept with. In terms of the clothing thing I most wear vintage styles but even they are not modest enough apparently. It seems like he wants me in a hijab or something.

>>18177662
Then leave and break up with him.
If he doesn't care about your opinion about things like kids and your job, then he's not the man you want to be married with.

>>18177668
Wait,
you are not wearing a hijab?
It seems you don't respect your own culture.

>>18177673
I'm not a muslim and neither is he. We're both white. I was using it as an example.

>>18177676
Do you love him?

>>18177650

Assuming this isn't a bait thread, have a very serious sit down with him - tell him, in no uncertain terms, that it doesn't matter how angry he is, that he needs to speak to you about this right now, or it's going to mean the marriage. That should hopefully shock him into talking about it seriously.

This is definitely the kind of shit where you should talk about breaking the engagement. He doesn't get to control you or just shackle you into housewife life, and will need to adjust that.

But you also need to be careful to take more than just him saying "okay I won't do that" as an acceptable answer. If your wedding date is soonish, you might want to consider pushing it back and living as you would as he'd expect it when you two are married. He might think he can just placate you now, and when the rings are on your fingers, and the complexity of legally binding contracts and shared households and shared property and kids in place, suddenly start treating you like this, the way that he sees fit.

Be careful, cause this is some bullshit.

>>18177685
I do, or I did until he started being like this. It's hard to love an authoritarian, controlling man who's become like that and changed from the sweet and wonderful man you met and fell in love with,

>>18177662
FFS get out of there while you still can, there's more to life than being with someone just because you feel drawn to him through affection. Most of the time marriages go wrong when it already starts like that.

And even if that is not the case, you will save nerves and a lot of painful moments if you keep going now.

>>18177689
>It's hard to love an authoritarian, controlling man who's become like that and changed from the sweet and wonderful man you met and fell in love with

You've been punk'd.
Now what are you gonna do about it :)

>>18177695
She should just leave him.

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>>18177650

Noble attempt at being original but alas, not original enough.

"My boyfriend is turning into a /pol/ack neckbeard." is a good basis for a bait thread but poorly executed.

2/10.

>>18177686
I have, but a part of me who still loves him, but I can't live with this for the rest of my life.

I'm 22, he's my first and we've been together since I was 17 and he was 20.

>>18177699
Fine, leave him.
It doesn't even matter.

>>18177702
She didn't say that though. She said authoritarian.

>>18177650
Doesn't matter what anyone tells you. There is a 99% chance you will talk to him and he will just persist, and you'll get married to him and put up with escalating demands, or who will pretend to see the error in his ways and back off until you get married. Then once he has you trapped it will start up again.

The truth is that you can't rationally talk someone out of being irrational. Having a conversation will go nowhere, because the part of his brain that is driving this bizarre behavior isn't available for direct communication. There is really no way of telling what could be motivating his behavior based off of the information you've given us, but these sudden spells of bizarre behavior are always caused by some other underlying issue, really unrelated to behavior being displayed.

I think rather than say "when you do x,y, and, z it is unacceptable." It would be more productive to ask him what is going on, and how he has been feeling lately. He might not even be aware there is a problem, but if you can get him to open up you might figure it out together, or with the help of a good therapist. But rest assured this isn't a case of him not understanding your boundaries, he's got something stirring around in his unconscious.

>>18177650
Sounds like psychopath. Wait him to leave for work and move out without him knowing. Ask family for help if needed.

He sounds like that type if guy who will snap at you and probabky hurt you if things wont go in his way.

hes not authoritan
just a manchild who had an idea about how things go when starting a family and he doesnt really know it takes 2 ppl

tell him to grow up and stop pretending hes a millionaire "breadmaker" while you are his lovely bimbo

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>>18177703

I already have my doubts that this is a bait thread, so I'm not gonna invest the effort into it then. It doesn't really matter if he's your first, in fact, it probably just clouds your judgement from making a rational decision. Most people don't marry their first. It rarely works out. You met when you were both naive and you didn't even get to experience the freedom of college. He basically just preyed on a high school girl and groomed you.

But like I said, I'm putting in too much effort.

>>18177718
It's not bait, I'm serious. But then, you wont' believe that either I suppose. Thanks for the advice though.

>>18177726

As long as you're actually taking advice I'll believe you - sorry if I sound so doubtful. There's just a ton of these threads that go in circles where it's like "he's a terrible person and look at all of the awful things that he's done" and anons make suggestions and then the OP just dismisses them anyways until /pol/ comes in and calls everyone degenerates.

Like, if you're looking for constructive ways to talk about it or get out of the relationship, I'm happy to keep posting.

>>18177706

>She didn't say that though. She said authoritarian.

And then she described your typical /pol/ user. Read between the lines, anon.

>>18177726

>It's not bait, I'm serious. But then, you wont' believe that either I suppose.

Kek. Not even for a moment. I'm bumping you up to a 4/10 for being able to fool all these blunt skulls with your faux-thoughtful responses.

>>18177738
I just honestly don't know how a man could change so drastically. He won't even talk to me about it, and I dearly loved the man up until recently. I don't think his behaviour is at all excusable, but I'm confused by the transformation and deeply saddened by the thought of losing him, either to him becoming an abusive asshole or my having to leave him.

>>18177746
Maybe /pol/ users are authoritarian.

>>18177650
Maybe it turns him on. Like are you into this kinda slave master stuffs?

>>18177761
No. I really am not.

>>18177756

>Maybe /pol/ users are authoritarian.

They are. They're like everyone's old racist grandfather in young neckbeard form.

>>18177765
maybe this is why it turns him on so much.

>>18177768
So if we're that incompatible...?

>>18177771
Talk to him about what you're into
see if he agrees to compromise.
You two can settle on 50 - 50, half of the days you are his slave wife, other half whatever you fancy, being a strong independent woman etc.

>>18177650
Domestic violence attorney here. This behavior only escalates. Find your local domestic violence resource center and call them. They can help you come up with a safety plan. Use a library computer or borrow a friend's phone if you have to avoid him snooping on your browser history.

>>18177650
Grow some ovaries, be a (wo)man and put him in his place

If you get married like this, he'll walk all over your for life.

>>18177650
Ok so basically this guy has his life on track, and you're being a royal cunt.

This must be bait. sage