Doing things for women vs. doing things for yourself

It's a meme, brother. The entire purpose of being a straight guy is to find a straight girl but chicks want to play like there's this third and fourth sex out there for us to also take into the equation and not put all the pressure on them. Why do you think they try to push so hard for the making of more gay/ bisex dudes?

Majority of chicks don't even like guys, they've just been living with us for centuries and dealing with it. The best deal they had was, "shut up, look pretty, stay home" and they fucked that up.

>>18176464
>For me to "not care" about what anyone thinks of me would me to move back into my parents home and play videogames and eat pizza and not even try to maintain my hygiene.

If this is true, it says a lot about your personality and it probably reflects through whatever image of yourself you've been trying to create with your stable job and personal improvement. That probably influences your success (or lack of, really) with women more than the fact that you're concerned with other peoples opinions.

>Is this true /adv/?
Kind of. Obsessing over what other people think of you is a sign of insecurity and dependency, which are very big turn offs. If you're confident in yourself, if you're happy the way you are and are content with your life in general you won't crave the validation of everyone around you.

So yeah, not caring about what other people think is a very attractive trait. But you can't really fake it. I mean, right now you're trying to not care about what other people think so that other people think highly of you. See the issue here? It doesn't work like that, you shouldn't try to train yourself to not care about what others think, because you will only put up an act that will make you unhappy, anxious and that will be seen through sooner or later. Instead you should try to train yourself to become the kind of person who doesn't care about what others think.

First of all you must find something (or multiple things) that gives your life meaning, preferably something you can dedicate yourself to and can make a living off (although it can be a hobby too). Something you're interested in, something you want to excel in (and not only for money or fame). This is much more important than you can imagine, it's what creates (or rather, exposes) your personality. Then you have to destroy your insecurities, become someone who's not ashamed of the way he looks, the thing he does, feels or thinks. To do that you must expose your vulnerabilities. Be honest with yourself and others, don't try to put up an act or hide your not-so-flattering traits and beliefs. This is how you actually train yourself to stop caring what others think about you and although it is painful and scary at first it will become liberating after a while and it will allow you to form meaningful connections with others. True honesty is endearing and pleasant.

(cont)

>>18176587
Now, you say that if you didn't care about what others think you would go back to your parents, eat pizza and play videogames all day. But is this what you truly want from life? Is this what would give you the most excitement and content? Of course it isn't, it's just the easiest and "safest" thing to do. It's not scary and it doesn't involve many risks so you so you would be attracted to it since you're a risk-averse creature, like all of us, but it's not something that will bring you long-term satisfaction. This is also something you should work on, getting out of your comfort zone. Again, scary at first, liberating and exciting later.

Keep in mind that attraction cannot be summarized in only one attribute. You can't be attractive by doing one single thing if everything else about you is a turnoff. Like, you can't be attractive by simply going to the gym. Or by having a good career. Or by being outspoken. Sure, these things help, but simply doing one of them won't turn you into a pussy magnet. The reason why you see that "don't care about others think" advice so often is because most people who don't care what others think about them tend to have many other attractive qualities. If you have a vast social life, a good career that makes you happy (or at least doesn't make you miserable), good looks and good confidence chances are, you're not going to care about other peoples opinions too much. That's why it's attractive, because people associate it with success, confidence and mental stability. If you don't care about others opinions, but are a boring, ugly guy with no skills or interests you probably won't be very attractive.

>not caring about what other people think of you and only focusing on yourself

Nah, this is the road to being one of those autistic special snowflake autists. DO care about what other people think of you and use that to know where you should be headed, but DO disregard what people say about you as you're trying to get there.

That is to say, to give an example, if you're fat, you do need to care what people think of you and stop being fat, instead of going HAES, but disregard what people say about you as you're improving yourself.

>>18176464
>ke my job and I'm good at it, but it's certainly not something I feel deeply passionate about. I also shower twice a day, lift, groom regularly etc.
>For me to "not care" about what anyone thinks of me would me to move back into my parents home and play videogames and eat pizza and not

Dude, there's a difference between not caring what other people think and completely not giving a shit about your life.

The key is to just be happy with your life and who you are.