Self-Destructive Cycle, feel hopelessly stuck

>>18176085
There is no shortcut in fixing things, although you could consider buying a new version the shortcut but i doubt you have enough spare money to buy yourself anything you just mentioned losing.
Start with one thing at a time, the most important thing first, because this is the only logical thing to do. Now you can bend and twist your mind to find a reason to disagree but at the end you will always arrive at that conclusion.
Ignore the painful demotivation and sit on your butt.

>>18176085
After my breakup the only time I really felt no pain and just down to earth was after a workout. Do some sports nigga

>>18176093
Also watch what you eat. I tend to eat too little and like shit when really depressed wich makes the situation worse. Maybe you're different, but it could be an aspect making your situation more difficult

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Reorient yourself. Your identity was dependant on someone else. You feel aweful because you dont have someone to validate you anymore. You need purpose in this world to keep you moving forward. Can you articulate what keeps you from just saying "fuck it"?

>>18176091
The most important thing is easily academics.
My problem there is my mind wanders and I get intensely distracted. Then I fixate on the notion that if she and I just talked things out for like..an hour or two, everything could be okay.

>>18176093
I box often enough. I've thought about her, and the situation we were in, in the middle of a sparring session. Nasty nosebleed. You're probably right about my diet worsening how I feel.


It was fucked up. Two of my close friends turned out to be sociopaths. One pathologically lied to the girl about me as a person, one pathologically lied to my housemates. Drove me insane.

Happiness is a moral obligation, not a feeling. If everyone acted simply out of nature then the world would be even worse than it already is. Go out there and help people, OP. If you're feeling purposeless then allow me to remind you of the hundreds of families in your city that are going hungry, of the doubtless even more that have gone through sexual abuse and are currently going through it; the elderly who haven't had a visitor in years despite having raised healthy families out of love, or the sick who are currently suffering and can't even afford to be with their loved ones.

When we put the focus off ourselves and remember that we still have feet to travel worlds with, a voice to speak love with, sight to see potential with and hands to build mountains with then we remember how much power we really have to affect those around us.

I'm sorry to hear about your grades and girl though. Those things are important, but there is still time man. Still enough time that you can get better grades if you work at it and still enough time to find another great girl.

>>18176108
She and I were romantically involved but we weren't in an exclusive, long-term relationship. This isn't post-breakup blues or anything like that.

I'd compare it to something like...if you were walking down the street with a girl you cared for, and the two of you were suddenly attacked by someone you thought was a friend. You fight that friend off, get hurt in the process, but protect the girl you care about.

Except I'm hurt and don't know if she's okay, and she doesn't know she had someone looking out for her. We're both psychologically and emotionally damaged by this sociopath we trusted, but aren't aware of one another's emotional states/well-being, if that makes sense.

>>18176109
After my ex cheated I pulled myself together after a month to do the necessary work for uni. Like 4-5 months after the breakup depression kicked in. There was this anguish you described layed on top of everything and faded all joy out for 2-3 months. I couldn't concentrate, was tired from morning to evening and lost the hungry feeling. For a month there was no hungry feeling at all. Now I'm nearly back to normal again. There's nothing wrong with you OP, you're still in the cycle of the breakup.

You know what also helps? Physical intimacy. Someone to cuddle, hug and fuck.

>>18176124
>When we put the focus off ourselves and remember that we still have feet to travel worlds with, a voice to speak love with, sight to see potential with and hands to build mountains with then we remember how much power we really have to affect those around us.

This is the kind of perspective I needed. On the one hand, the idea that being more empathetic means being more susceptible to sociopaths makes me flinch, but on the other, in the grand scheme of things, a handful of evil people doesn't hold up to the amount of good people are capable of, myself included.

>>18176162
>Physical intimacy
This is the hardest thing for me to feel in relationships, or with anyone, really. Emotionally neglected in childhood, makes warmth, comfort, companionship hard to feel.

Felt it with her, briefly. Not with the 4 or 5 other girls I've had in the mix since.

>>18176085
Mate, i swear to god i was in the same situation. At a certain moment depression felt great since the shit im in was much much deeper. But i got some advice from friends and i learned a lot man.
In my whole life no one grabbed my hand and showed me the path, no one. But this time a couple friends helped me. The first thing i did to get help was accept that i was fucked (i never accepted that i was fucked, pretended everything was ok for 2 years). After that the first advice was the change my circles. Dont hang out as much with the people youre hanging out now, do other things, get new interests, go to other circles.
And the second advice was have hope and get your confidence back up. Without hope, you will never ever get up. I know you, i know me. youre hopeless now, i was there too. I thought of suicide and fucking everything. I found my hope in another girl (which is bad to base your hope on, but i had to climb up). And for confidence, nigga remember, youre a fucking man, youre strong, you know this deep in you. You might have gotten weak, but youre still that lion, the lion is sleeping. What i do for my confidence is looking in the mirror and talking to myself. Only positive words man, no negativity, no emotional things etc.

Remember mate, youre strong as fuck. Good luck and heil hitler

kill your self

>>18176085
I tried LSD when it got so bad

It seems to melt away some of the filters I have on my personality.

My dad used to beat the shit out of me so I was kinda shy withdrawn but after I took LSD I felt pretty zen for the next week and I felt like I didn't have to be that sad person.

I'm making new friends now

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>>18176085
Stop tourturing yourself with uni, even super motivated people cant find a real proper job after uni let alone. LEAVE, or if you live in the EU stay in and just use the free cash.

Youre killing yourself, not physically, but mentally which is even worse.

JUST DO IT! Go do what you want or when you think you something interesting to tell, write a book/manifesto and get it published and get into a new scene where you might like it. If you love to play an instrument and have a good friend make a 2 men band and just go. Just to name a few examples. Nothing left to lose, GO.

Source: myself

>>18176237
Hope is hard to find. I did a severe amount of damage to every aspect of the things that drive me. Bettering myself, getting high grades, spending time with friends...completely nuked on all fields there.

I still feel capable...but without direction.
I need new goals, new targets.


>>18176247
Strongly considered LSD, actually.

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I recently escaped a self-destructive cycle with the help of therapy and antidepressants. My work performance has improved and I'm getting praise from my senpais.

Should I acknowledge the role therapy and antidepressants had? I feel like there's still a lot of stigma against medication and I'm not sure I should talk about it.